Should He Deal With His Apostate Father And His Mother Who
Does Not Pray?
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
My father and mother have been married for 20 years.
In the year 2001 my father went to Agadir in Marocko
for some type of affair concerning some type of a
restaurant, I cant recall the exact affair because I
was 12 of age at that moment. Anyways, my father
committed zina and my mother caught him with this sin
which he committed on his return home, she did not
divorce him due to my young age and my younger brother
and sister, who were at that time 9 years old and 5
years old, we needed a father so she did this for her
children, but she refused to sleep with him for a full
year due to the pain she was suffering.
Please note that neither my father or mother prays,
but my mother is on her way to perform salah inshAllah
due to the Muslim friends she has, as for my father,
when he drinks alcohol, he used to speak badly about
Allah and Muhammed s.a.w. in the most horrific of
terms which I refuse to write here. The issue is
sheikh, now that I am 20 years of age, my father again
committed zina in 2008, I was 19 then and did not make
salah. After that calamity I came to Islam
Alhamdulillah and sought His help and aid. My mother
kicked him out this time but now, a year later he is
back in our home. My mother uses an excuse like me now
being engaged and soon getting married to bring him
back, because she cant spend her life alone without a
husband, because eventually my sister and brother will
also get married, and she refuses to marry any other
good man out there, so she chooses this garbage which
I call him.
Me, now being Muslim and knowing the punishment for
this sin when one is married has motivated me in doing
some actions. I have spitted in the face of the woman
my father had sex with, she is Russian, I called her
by the worst of names in front of all the people, I
have almost engaged in a physical fight with my father
due to his action, I have threatened him and his
lover, and as for my mother, I have risen my voice
sometimes when I speak to her on this subject due to
her strange choice of bringing this man back to her
life after he has done this act once in 2001, and she
forgave him, and now again in 2008, I think my mother
is desperate, and I want my father out of the house, I
have even considered kicking all his belongings out
from our door.
Is my actions haram, how can I handle this situation,
and how should I treat my mother and how should I act
towards my father, should I treat him with respect
after this act of his which he has not yet repented
from because first of all he is a Kaffir who does not
believe in Muhammed.
Praise be to Allaah.
If your father is not Muslim, or he was a Muslim but
he apostatized from Islam -- which is what may be
understood from your question -- it is not permissible
for your mother to go back to him at all, until he
announces his repentance and enters Islam once again.
Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
“...if you ascertain that they are true believers send
them not back to the disbelievers. They are not lawful
(wives) for the disbelievers nor are the disbelievers
lawful (husbands) for them”
There is no doubt that what your father is doing of
reviling the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) is Kufr and blatant apostasy from the
religion of Islam.
Please see the answer to question number 103082.
Hence it is not permissible for you to let him return
to the house and live there with your mother; throwing
him out of the house is the least to be done with
someone like him.
Your father's apostasy from Islam means that all the
rights of honour and good treatment that he had over
you no longer apply. The apostate has no respect or
protection according to Sharee‘ah, and he does not
have the rights of kinship and kindness. Rather he
should be shunned and ignored, except for the sake of
Da‘wah and offering advice.
However, it is not wise to get involved with arguments
and disputes with him, especially in front of people.
See the answer to question number 141680.
The fact that your mother does not pray poses a great
danger to her religious commitment. Not praying
because of laziness is major Kufr according to many
scholars. This opinion has been discussed in the
answer to question no. 10094 and 5208.
Hence you must strive hard to advise and exhort her,
and to remind her of the rights that Allah has over
her, the obligatory nature of prayer, its status in
Islam and the seriousness of not praying.
Let your Da‘wah to her be with beautiful preaching and
kindness, especially since she is on her way to
becoming committed to praying regularly as you said.
We ask Allah to guide your parents and accept their
repentance, and to help them to do all that is good,
for he is All Hearing, Ever Responsive.
And Allah knows best