Aspects Of Islamic Faith — 76: Weeping For The Dead
Islamic Perspectives - Muslim JournalsArab News
& Information - By Adil Salahi
The Prophet (peace be upon him) had six children by
his first wife, Khadijah, but his two sons died in
infancy, while all four daughters grew up and were
married, but they all died young. In fact three of
them died during the Prophet's lifetime, while the
youngest, Fatimah, died six months after he had passed
away. The Prophet married nine women after his first
wife had died, some of whom had given birth to several
children, but none of them gave him a son or daughter.
Around three years before the end of his blessed life,
the Prophet was sent a gift by the ruler of Egypt
which included two slave young women. The Prophet kept
one for himself, and she gave him his last son,
Ibraheem. However, Ibraheem lived only 18 months. He
was taken care of by a couple living on the outskirts
of the city, with the woman breast-feeding him. The
Prophet used to visit them often and he loved his son
dearly. When Ibraheem was ill, the Prophet went with a
few of his companions to see him. Anas ibn Malik
reports: "We visited Abu Saif, Ibraheem's wet nurse's
husband, with the Prophet. The Prophet held Ibraheem,
kissed him and smelled him. We entered later when
Ibraheem was in his last throes. The Prophet's eyes
were very tearful. Abd Al-Rahman ibn Awf said to him:
‘Even you, messenger of God?' The Prophet said: ‘It is
a feeling of compassion'. He wept again and then said:
‘The eye is tearful, the heart is in grief, but we say
only what pleases God. Ibraheem, we are certainly
grieved by your departure.'" (Related by Al-Bukhari).
The Arabic word "buka," which stands for weeping in
the broadest sense, is used to denote four situations
concerning bereavement. The first is to weep silently,
without making any noises. The second is to weep
making some noises, such as breathing in and out aloud
and making soft cries, but with resignation and
acceptance. The third is the same as the second, but
with louder noises indicating panic and little
resignation. The fourth includes all this but adding
lamentations and expressions of despair. We need to
know the Islamic rulings on all four situations.
It is universally agreed by Islamic scholars that the
first case of silent weeping is perfectly permissible.
It is just what the Hadith tells us the Prophet did.
Weeping is a form of release of the feelings of sorrow
and sadness at the death of a loved one. This is
perfectly natural and a case of compassion as the
Prophet described his weeping for his son.
The second case of weeping with noises of breathing in
and out, making a few sighs and cries that signify
sorrow, but without detracting from one's resignation
and acceptance of God's will, is also acceptable, but
not preferable. It is much better to confine one's
sadness to noiseless weeping that expresses sorrow but
indicates at the same time one's acceptance of God's
will.
The third case in which one makes frequent noises of
sorrow that indicate a case of panic and a low degree
of accepting what is totally in God's hand is at least
reprehensible but could be prohibited, according to
the degree of panic and lack of acceptance.
The fourth degree which combines weeping with
lamentation and cries, such as when women address the
deceased saying, "to whom are you leaving us," or "who
will support us now that you have gone," or "alas for
the rock that kept our family together," etc. Such
cries and lamentations indicating total panic are
certainly forbidden.
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