His Father Wants Him To Travel For Work And His Wife Insists On Him Staying
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
I am very confused. I got married 9 months ago;
I stayed 4 months with my wife then traveled abroad.
My wife has objected to this. She tried to stop me but
this did not work. Alhamdulillah, we love and
understand each other. I tried to persuade her that
after traveling I will look for a flat and send her a
visa to come and live with me abroad. But I did not
find a suitable flat. It is too expensive to rent a
flat here; even all my salary is not enough for half a
month. When she knew this she started sending messages
to me tell me how much she suffers, her tears do not
dry up, and her heart is burning of missing me.
On the other hand, my father encourages me to stay
abroad and work in order to help in my brother's
marriage. While my wife says she cannot live alone and
asks me daily to come home, my father wants me to stay
Shall I return to my wife and not be unfair with her,
or stay here and help my father in my brother's
Praise be to Allaah.
The husband may travel and be away from his wife for
the sake of work or others interests that are
Islamically acceptable, for a period no longer than
six months. If it is longer than that, then he must
ask his wife for permission.
The basic principle concerning that is that ‘Umar ibn
al-Khattaab asked his daughter Hafsah (may Allaah be
pleased with her): O my daughter, how long can a woman
bear to be away from her husband? She said: Subhaan
Allaah, would one such as you ask one such as me about
that? He said: Were it not that I want to make a
decision concerning the Muslims I would not have asked
you. She said: Five months or six months. So he set a
time limit for the people on their campaigns of six
months: they would march for a month, then stay there
for four months, then take another month for the
Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked:
How long may a husband be away from his wife? He said:
It was narrated: Six months.
See: al-Mughni (7/232, 416).
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said: With regard to a man travelling and being away
from his wife, if she is in a safe place there is
nothing wrong with it, and if she lets him stay away
for more than six months, there is nothing wrong with
it. But if she asks for her rights and asks him to
come back to her, then he should not stay away for
more than six months. But if there is a reason such as
a sick person who is being treated and so on, then
cases of necessity come under their own rulings.
Whatever the case, it is the wife's right, and if she
allows that and is in a safe place, there is no sin on
him, even if the husband is away a great deal. End
quote from Fataawa al-‘Ulama' fi ‘Ushrat al-Nisa' (p.
Based on that, it is your wife's right that you should
return to them, especially since your salary is not
enough for accommodation, as you say. This means that
you are staying away from your family when they need
It is no secret that fulfilling rights and protecting
one's family and looking after them, and maintaining
love and stability, takes precedence over accumulating
You are not obliged to obey your father even if he
tells you to stay abroad, because that may result in
loss of your wife's rights. It is well known that
there is no obedience to any created being if it
involves disobedience towards the Creator, but you
should speak kindly and convince him, and explain that
there is nothing to be gained from being away from
We ask Allaah to help and guide you.
And Allaah knows best