He Had Doubts About His Wife So He Contacted Her Under A Different Name To Test Her|
Islamic Rulings - Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
I work in one of the Gulf countries and my wife
lives in one of the countries of East Asia. I had
doubts about my wife and thought that she was having
relationships with men in my absence. Hence I got in
touch with her under a different name and she started
talking to me believing that I was a different person.
During these conversations I discussed very private
matters with her and I even tried to make her commit
some sins. In the end I found out from these
conversations that she was innocent and fears Allah,
which put my mind at rest as I wanted.
I want to know:
1. Did I commit a sin by talking to her under a
2. As I made her think that the person she was talking
to was not her husband, did I encourage her thereby to
commit the sin of talking about private matters?
3. As there was no other person in fact, will I be
questioned about my pretending to be someone else?
I hope that you can answer these questions, because I
feel that I have sinned and I fear Allah in my heart.
Praise be to Allaah.
One should think positively of a Muslim and assume
that he is good and innocent so long as there is no
reason for doubt and suspicion, because Allah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion; indeed some
suspicions are sins. And spy not…"
This Qur'aanic etiquette is one of the means of
attaining happiness and peace of mind, because
thinking badly of people leads one to seek out their
faults and may lead to spying or doing something like
what you did, which was a mistake because it may make
the wife dare to speak to men about private matters,
as you mentioned.
With regard to talking to her under a different name,
it is not a sin in and of itself. But we should speak
about its motive and what may result from it. If the
motive was thinking negatively of her with no evidence
or grounds for doing so, then this is contrary to what
Allah has enjoined of avoiding suspicion.
Trying to make the wife commit some sins was also a
mistake, even if the intention was to test her. If we
assume that she responded and did fall into sin, that
would not have proven that she had gone astray or
committed that sin before that, because a person may
be weak at any moment in the face of temptation.
Thus it is clear that this action was of no benefit;
rather it may be harmful and may encourage the wife to
commit sin, and that would increase your doubts
without enabling you to find out the facts of the
It would be better to take care of your wife by
getting in touch with her and visiting her, and
praying for good things for her, and trying to
increase her faith and piety, and letting her live
near your family or some righteous neighbours. These
are means of attaining righteousness and keeping away
Even more important than all of that is not being away
from her for a long time for the purpose of amassing
money; rather you should keep your journeys as short
as possible, even if that results in more expenses or
reduces your earnings. Being keen to take care of your
wife and keep her chaste and give her her rights is
more important and more obligatory.
See also the answer to question no. 13318 and 145815.
And Allah knows best
He agreed with
her husband that if he travelled without her
knowledge, it would be the last day between them, and
A woman stipulated that her husband should not
travel abroad without her knowledge, and that if he
did travel without her knowledge, it would be the last
day between them. Then he travelled without telling
her, and she does not know whether he forgot the
condition or was heedless of it. Is the relationship
ended by this action and is the woman irrevocably
divorced? i.e., is she finally divorced from her
husband and cannot go back to him? Or is it one talaaq?
Or does it depend on the woman herself, if she insists
on her condition then she is divorced and if she
recants it then there is nothing? Is there any
expiation to be offered?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Divorce (talaaq) can only come from the husband. If a
woman divorces her husband by talaaq or makes him
haraam for herself, that does not count as a talaaq.
But if the husband accepted what his wife stipulated,
and said that if he travelled without her knowledge
then it would be the last day between them, then this
wording is a metaphor for divorce, and it is dependent
upon a condition, so it depends on the husband's
intention; if he intended divorce thereby then it
counts as a talaaq, and if he did not intend divorce
then it does not count as such. If he intended to
prevent himself from travelling without her knowledge
but did not intend divorce, and then he travelled,
then he must offer kafaarat yameen (expiation for
breaking an oath).
If he said: I intended divorce by this stipulation,
but he travelled forgetting the condition, then it
does not count as divorce according to the more
correct scholarly view.
See the answer to question no. 105998.
In the event that it is deemed to count as a divorce,
it counts as one talaaq only. If this is the first or
second talaaq then the husband may take his wife back
so long as the ‘iddah has not yet ended