Who Should Organise The Wedding Feast (Waleemah)?
Holding Wedding Party In A Club With Each Family
Sitting At A Separate Table
Islamic Rulings - Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
Who has to organise the wedding party and
waleemah? Is it the family of the groom or the family
of the bride?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The basic principle with regard to the wedding feast (waleemah)
is that it should be organized by the husband, because
he is the one who is enjoined to do that, as it was
narrated by al-Bukhaari (5155) and Muslim (1427) that
the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf: "May Allah bless
you. Give a waleemah even if it is with just one
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him)
said: It (the waleemah) is prescribed for the husband,
because the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said to ‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf (may Allah
be pleased with him): "Give a waleemah," and he did
not tell his in-laws to do that. And because the
blessing is greater for the husband than for the wife,
because he is the one who sought the woman; it is very
rare for the woman to seek the man. End quote from al-Sharh
And he (may Allah have mercy on him) said: The
questioner's stating that responding to an invitation
to a wedding feast is obligatory does not apply in all
cases; rather that refers to the wedding feast that is
offered by the husband. Accepting an invitation to
this feast is obligatory. Similarly, if it is
organised jointly between the husband and the woman's
family, accepting the invitation to it is obligatory,
because the husband is the one who is enjoined to
provide the wedding feast, because the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to
‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn ‘Awf: "Give a wedding feast, even
if it is with one sheep." If the wedding feast is
provided by the wife's family only, and the husband is
going to offer another feast when his wife comes to
join him, it is not obligatory to accept the
invitation of the wife's family; rather accepting it
End quote from Fataawa Noor ‘ala al-Darb.
From this we may note that it is permissible for the
wedding feast to be organised jointly between the
husband and wife, or the wife's family may organise
it. Similarly, the wedding expenses may be shared as
agreed between the two parties, and each of them may
offer a wedding feast, as is customary in some
countries. If there is some dispute as to who is
obliged to provide the wedding feast, it is to be
provided by the husband, as stated above. But other
wedding expenses, such as having a party in a hotel
and so on, should be done according to mutual
And Allah knows best.
Holding wedding party in a club
with each family sitting at a separate table
I have signed a marriage contract with a good
sister months ago. We discussed about the day of the
actual marriage. I suggested separating men from women
this day, and she suggested to have the celebration in
the garden of a club, in an opened place, as every
family will have a separate table, then we serve food
to them on every table. There will be only nasheeds
playing not music. Does this transgress the rulings of
sharee'ah. What do you advise us to do? May Allaah
Praise be to Allaah.
Mixing of men and women leads to bad consequences and
negative effects, whether that is at wedding parties,
at work or in school. This has been discussed in the
answer to question no. 1200.
Having each family sitting at a separate table does
not prevent this mixing when people come in and go
out, as it does not prevent them looking at one
another and so on, especially if there are among these
families people who do not observe proper hijab, and
evil consequences occur as a result.
Moreover, if each family sits by itself, that does not
achieve the purpose of celebration and spreading
happiness and joy, and letting people get to know one
another and make friends with one another.
Hence we advise you to hold the celebration as you
initially suggested, in a place where men and women
can be separated. This is more fearing of Allaah and
is more likely to achieve the aims of the gathering.
We ask Allaah to bless you and to bring you together
in goodness, obedience and righteousness.
And Allaah knows best.