Can A Suitor Lie To The Non-Muslim
Family Of The Girl He Wants To Marry And Say He Is
Unmarried: Sperm Count Is Low; Does He Have To
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
Last year I came to know of this brother who
teaches Islamic classes and also through da'wah work.
He seems to be like a religious brother (Hafiz of
Qur'an and organizes Islamic activities maasha'Allah),
and Allah knows best.
This brother will be getting married this year, and
then wants to marry me next year insha'Allah (as I
would like to get married after I graduate from
unviersity insha'Allah)...so that would make me his
The issue is - my family is not Muslim (non-practicing
Shi'a, atheist, agnostic, etc) - since two male family
members have spoken to me about the topic of polygamy
already, I suspect that they would ask any suitor if
he has other wives.
I asked the person going between me and the brother
how he could answer that...because I believe my family
would only accept 'no, I don't' as an answer and if he
said that, that would be lying.
His response was that it is permissible to lie in this
situation to prevent family ties being broken.
I'm really unsure about if this would be a permissible
situation for him to lie in? Do you think I should
enter into this marriage? I would appreciate your
Praise be to Allaah.
If you have a Muslim guardian, he would be the one
handling your marriage and the suitor would need to
answer him truthfully if he were to ask him about
that. The guardian has the right to look into these
matters for the benefit of his principal and to
enlighten her on matters she may not perceive the
And if you do not have a Muslim guardian from your
relatives, your marriage should be handled by the Imam
of an Islamic Centre, or someone similar who has a
position of respect among the Muslim community and
your relatives would have no authority over you. In
that case we could say: If the suitor is a pious man
and you fear that if he were to inform them of his
previous marriage they would refuse him, then he can
use what is known as tawriyah, which is basically the
use of speech which can be understood in different
ways (intending for them to understand other than the
reality). For example, he may say: "I did not marry
(i.e. a year ago)". But he should beware of saying: "I
am not married" or "I don't have a wife" as that is
considered as an implicit divorce according to some
jurists and the divorce would be valid if he had that
You should consider the consequences of your family
finding out that he is married and that you both lied
to them, and the effects that will have on their
opinion of you and of Islam and your husband, the
Islamic caller. It may have a negative impact and so
we do not advise you to get into such a predicament,
the results of which may not be commendable.
We also do not support your waiting a whole year for a
man who has not yet married his first wife. Therefore,
if a suitable suitor were to propose, you should
seriously consider him for the sake of preserving your
chastity and protecting yourself, and also for fear
that this present suitor may change his mind about
You should also know that the suitable, righteous and
religious husband doesn't necessarily have to be one
who delivers lectures and sermons and is active in
Islamic centres and mosques. Rather, he should be
religious himself, venerating his religion and keen to
worship his Lord.
Increase your supplications to Allah for ease, success
And Allah knows best.
He Wants To Get Married But His
Sperm Count Is Low; Does He Have To Disclose That?
There is a young man who has not got married
yet, but he found out that he has varicose veins on
his testes. He did a test of his sperm and the result
was bad; his sperm count was two million per
millilitre and the motility was very very weak. Then
he had surgery on the varicose veins, and after three
months he did another test on his sperm and found that
the result was much improved, but he still needed
treatment because the improvement may only last three
to twelve months.
Now the number of sperm per millilitre is fourteen
million, and the motility increased to approximately
Based on the explanation given by the doctors, it is
essential to have a count of twenty million at least
and motility of 50% at least, but the doctor who is
treating him is optimistic about the final outcome,
although the treatment will continue for another three
Now he wants to propose marriage. Should he tell the
wife or not? Please note that the hope of improvement
is there, in sha Allah.
Praise be to Allaah.
Having a low sperm count and low sperm motility of the
level mentioned is regarded as a fault which must be
disclosed, and it is not permissible to conceal it,
because of what it may lead to of not having children.
Having children is one of the most important aims of
marriage, so the wife has the right to have children
just as the husband has the same right.
If a man gets married and is aware of this weakness,
and cannot have children, that is more likely to put
the wife off him and make her regard him as having
Hence Ameer al-Mu'mineen ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may
Allah be pleased with him) said to the one who married
a woman but could not have children: "Tell her that
you are sterile and give her the choice." Quoted in
Zaad al-Ma‘aad, 5/183
It says in Masaa'il al-Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, narrated
by Abu Ya‘qoob al-Kawsaj (no. 1282): I said: What
about the man who marries a woman when he is sterile
and cannot have children?
Ahmad said: I prefer the one who knows that about
himself to disclose it; perhaps his wife wants to have
Ishaaq said the same as he said, because he cannot
deceive her. End quote. Narrated by Ibn Qudaamah in
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah and Ibn al-Qayyim
favoured the view that sterility is regarded as a
fault that constitutes grounds for annulment of the
marriage, unlike the majority of scholars.
See: al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 30/268
See also the answers to questions no. 85101 and
Based on that, this young man has to tell his fiancée,
then if she accepts, that is up to her.
If he hopes that the situation will improve and the
problem will be resolved within a short time as
mentioned, then he may delay proposing marriage until
We ask Allah to guide and help us and you.
And Allah knows best.