Regular Kindness, The Best Of Deed: The Best Loved Deeds To Allah
22 February 2015
By Karin Friedmann
''The best loved deeds to Allah are the
ones that are continuous even if they are not very many.''
The importance of continuous good deeds
was demonstrated to me by a cat named Golden, who ended up living in my home
at my children’s insistence. Originally a stray kitten taken in by a mentally
ill person, the cat’s demeanor was very nervous and somewhat crazed. He had
been seriously neglected by his previous owner and had survived by catching
mice and getting into the garbage. When Golden came to live with us, he was
so tense that I was somewhat scared of him. He would flinch anytime we tried
to pat him on the head, as if he had been beaten in the past. He would
scratch my youngest child whenever she tried to play with him; and even when
there was food in his bowl, he would get into the cabinets and tear open
garbage bags. One time I even found him on top of the refrigerator looking
Golden’s transformation from a
terrified stray into an adorable, docile family pet worthy of a cute meme was
gradual but astonishing. After living a year at my house he no longer
flinches, he no longer scratches, and he eats his food out of his bowl. Why?
I suppose because he’s not living in a constant state of anxiety anymore.
Because of our repetitive good deeds – filling his bowls with water and food,
removing his waste from the litterbox, and affectionately spending time with
him – he started feeling secure about his emotional and physical needs. Every
muscle in his body including his face relaxed. He became a new person, a new
However, he still exhibited some
neurotic behavior, begging from my son who fed him small snacks throughout
the day whenever the cat begged. As a result, Golden was getting chubby. So I
told my son to start giving him exactly two half-cup scoops of food a day,
once in the morning and once in the night. Once this routine had been
established, and the cat understood exactly how much food he had to eat per
time period, he started rationing his own cat food so that it would last
throughout the day. He even sometimes leaves two pieces of cat food in his
bowl just in case he gets hungry later. Such a total transformation from a
kitty that behaved like a robber to a kitty that acts as his own accountant!
Compulsive habits and other destructive
behaviors in humans are also often caused by a subconscious fear of scarcity.
One person might hoard things while another might overeat, and another person
might act in a manipulative way to try and safeguard supplies of security,
whether material or emotional. A ninth-grade girl once admitted to me that
she started smoking cigarettes, knowing she would become addicted, because
she wanted there to be one thing in life that she could want, and have. This
is why it is so important to think about engaging in continuous good deeds
that provide some security to another person, no matter how little.
If you were a father who wanted to
establish good self esteem in your children, you might think that a camping
trip would be the best way to create a great relationship. However, in truth,
after some years the memory of such a special event will become blurred or
even wiped out. My own parents don’t remember our trip to New England when I
was eleven! What we do remember clearly though, was that there was a donut
shop across the street from the post office. When I was a small child I loved
to go with my dad to the post office because it always meant that afterwards,
I got to devour a delicious chocolate covered, cream filled delight! A small
kindness given regularly – a donut – has more lasting value than an expensive
In an effort to get some ideas for
writing, I posed the question on Facebook, ''What have you learned this week
about yourself, others or the universe?'' The most ''liked'' response was:
''I have learned, over the last year, how much good individuals can do for
one another, under the most horrible circumstances… The BIGGEST example is
the way so many people came to my support during [his wife] Toni’s final
illness and since her passing!''
The support that this man was so
thankful for was the online company of his Facebook friends. All we did was
''like'' his old photographs and read his inspiring messages, giving us hope
that true love is possible. He married his wife when he was 25 and she was
40. He adored her like a queen with such humility; he remained truly
astonished that someone as ordinary as himself could be at the receiving end
of love from a woman so noble and beautiful, even after her death. So not
only did he receive benefit from our consistent small deeds but we also
Sometimes, our well-meaning attempts at
good deeds are rejected by others. This could be because we are assuming
falsely that whatever we would want is what they should want. Other times,
the person is in a defensive or closed-minded state because they are
Arguing with a lost soul is always a
waste of time, because they are actively engaged in denying inner guidance.
''A lost soul has severed ties with the
love of the universe, therefore they do not understand how to make choices
based on self-love,'' Andrea Schulman writes in ConsciousLifeNews.com,
advising us not to get sucked into drama. ''Loving from afar counts.''
Small but regular kindnesses, even a
daily smile from the mailman or a wave from a fellow driver letting you go
first, can make the difference between a bad day and a good day, between
hypertension and calm.
This could mean the difference between
a bad decision and a good one.