The Paradoxes of Sex in American Society
21 July 2015
By Saeed Qureshi
If someone is under the erroneous impression that American society is
sexually permissive, then I may straight away tell you it is not. There are
tricky snares laid around that make the outdoor sex a costly and scary
undertaking. The sex culture here is a blend of queer paradoxes and intrigues
that can turn sour for the fun seekers. More often than not, it would be
difficult to distinguish between a street whore and an undercover female
An individual desperately in search of a female could land himself in big
trouble enough to ruin his future as a blemished person for all time to come.
Those who are categorized as sex offenders carry this mill-stone for the rest
of their lives. Once caught, they are treated as pariah and outcast in the
society. The law is unforgiving and they would remain in jail for many years.
They cannot live in common neighborhoods. Their dwellings should be far from
school zones and they should report to the area police from time to time. In
gutter magazines and tabloid papers their pictures are published. These
papers are placed at counters of big stores and can be viewed by customers.
The so called sting operations carried by the police have several outlets.
One would receive a sudden call from a female with an exceptionally
tantalizing and sweet offer to meet her in a lonely or secluded place. She
would mention of her being a teenage or young girl recklessly aspiring to
make friendship or have sex. The young specifically from the immigrant
communities, are usually enticed and allured thinking that it was a free
society so there was nothing wrong by accepting the offer. He unwittingly
falls into a laid-out trap.
When he reaches at the appointed location and had just started the
conversation with the female (a cover up police officer), he is pounced upon
by other operatives and thus starts a nightmarish phase of his life. The
immigrant victims of such operations are treated very harshly and even
deported. I would wonder why those who initiate sting operations to involve
the unassuming victims through a tricky trap are not taken to task.
In other situations, the male singles and fun seekers alike would drive at
such places mostly roadsides, where call girls make their appearance. But the
moment one gets into a conversation all of sudden a police car would barge in
and arrest the males letting off the girls. The girls are let off because
they would be accomplices in that drama of catching the sex offenders.
In United States if a woman maliciously or vindictively accuses someone of
sexual advances, it would be taken as a gospel truth. The first thing that
the police would resort to is to handcuff and shove the man in jail. It would
take a great deal of prolonged litigation that he could prove his innocence.
The false accuser is seldom booked for the suffering caused to a citizen
based upon concocted or blown up charges.
Polygamy is forbidden in America under the civil and religious laws. The
Mormons whose one sect believes in sexual promiscuity and polygamy cannot
follow their religious edits as it is forbidden to marry more than one woman
at one time. The Muslims also permitted by Islam to have more than one wife
cannot do so. And that is good by the way.
However, what nullifies all this farce or facade of keeping the society
immune from sexual predators is to, freely and uninhibitedly, allow the teen
age population to date( love mating or meeting), indulge in sex and have
children. Primarily it should be the underage generation to be strictly
prohibited from sexual pursuits before the attainment of the adulthood. In
America every years a staggering amount of over 20 billion dollars is
expended on teen age mothers, delivery of the babies and follow up care and
Besides United States, the teen age motherhood is prevalent in most of the
western countries because of the sexual permissiveness for the youth.
According to a 2001 UNICEF survey in 10 out of 12 developed nations more than
two third of the young people have had sexual intercourse while still in
their teens. In Denmark, Finland, Germany, Iceland, Norway, the United
Kingdom and the United States, the proportion is as high as 75 per cent.
In America, due to co-education and almost no check on the young generation
and because of the biased legal protection, the teen age girls and boys can
have sex at an early age. The teen mothers drop out of the high school during
the pregnancy or after the delivery. So do the male partners who take up odd
jobs to run the household and to bring up the child. They start the family
and household at a much younger age. In hostels where the female and male
students live together, the sexual intercourse is frequent.
The children are treated like holy cows to such an extent that an adult even
a female is not allowed to touch a teen-age boy or girl. Reportedly, many a
female teacher lost their jobs for touching a student. This is the height of
the sensitivity of discrimination in favor of boys and girls of minor age. On
the contrary there is evidence of incest in American society which could be
caused because of the lack of moral awareness on this issue as well as
children being the easy targets in the privacy of homes.
In almost every country there are areas for the comfort females to carry out
their business that is permissible under the law. The redeeming feature of
that aspect is that one could release his pent- up sexual urge at such
secluded yet highly guarded zones. In those countries the neighborhoods
remain immune from sex predators. But here in America the outdoor sex is
drastically curbed like in conservative Islamic societies.
Yet in practice, even in Islamic countries where rape, molestation or free
sex is deemed as a social and religious crime, one can go to any length to
give vent to his sexual needs. There are call girls available round the clock
in both Islamic and Unislamic societies for a price. I would not mention
places like Bangkok and the whole Far East and the Scandinavian belt where
sex is accessible and as cheap and common as one can order a meal or buy a
shirt from the market.
The pristine concept of celibacy was strictly adhered to by the Christians of
the first four centuries. They generally observed sexual restraint, eschewed
polygamy, rejected the extra marital sexual practices such as prostitution
and homosexuality divorce, abortion, and exposure to death of unwanted
infants. Bu the later generations of the priestly class desecrated this
golden edit to their hearts' fill. Just to mention two cases of nauseating
degeneracy of the Roman Catholic papacy in recent times.
If allowing sex in controlled areas is anti-Christianity or a social vice,
then all the priests and clergy class would have been as pious as Jesus
Christ was. But history of Christendom testifies that these were the churches
and cathedrals where worst kind of sexual debauchery has been going on for
Even in recent times, many priests have been posthumously charged with
molesting hundreds of innocent children in church schools and ministries run
under their supervision to impart Christian education. So where do we draw
the line as to who is pious and who is not?
Priest Lawrence C Murphy a pedophile predatory priest sexually preyed upon
200 defenseless, innocent, adolescent deaf young boys and girls for 24 years
(1950-1974). Another priest (Rev.) Brendan Smyth died in jail 13 years ago
while serving 12 years for 74 sexual assaults on children. And there are
countess such gory incidents encompassing several centuries of diabolic
violation of basic Christian teachings.
The purpose of alluding to these examples is to bear out that in order to
satisfy their hedonistic desires how the humans wantonly trample the Jesus'
reverent ministry based upon piety and rectitude. The Catholic Church has
been paying millions of dollars as compensation to the victims of sinful
Paradoxically the rape culture is rife in the armed forces of the United
States. There are countless complaints about the rape and forcible sex within
the army. The rapes are either not reported by the victims or if reported
these are either hushed up or seldom probed and the perpetrators prosecuted.
One example of this trend of sexual perversion pertains to Naval Station
Great Lakes where sailors receive specialized training.
A Pentagon survey reported by New York Times revealed that the number of
sexual assaults during 2012 in that Naval Station alone rose to 26,000. One
can imagine the enormity of the uncontrollable sexual lust or carnal urge as
to override the professional ethics and integrity in such a brazen fashion.
There is also pervasive adultery and sexual encroachments in the offices,
shops and work places by the owners or the bosses on their subordinate female
staff. Such incidents go mostly unreported and hidden because the females
fear losing jobs and prefer to keep such incidents secret from their
families. Such are the queer paradoxes that bedevil our society.
I shall omit a detailed opinion on the epidemic of same sex marriages. It
would be difficult to rationalize or justify a man marrying a man and woman
with woman. Living as friends could bear some logic but entering into
matrimonial bonds like female and males in fact defies a rational
At best or worst it could be explained a kind of homosexuality in case of two
males and a kind of lesbian propensity in case of the females living together
as partners. Indeed it cannot be for procreation of the human progeny. The
underlying purpose could also be to share the burden of life and to draw the
state benefits as married partners.
Now in Europe and elsewhere in the world there are brothels for a permissible
sexual activity. Here in our country the brothel or red zone area are
unthinkable. The result is the frequent incidence of rape, forced molestation
and similar heinous acts by the lecherous individuals.
Absence of brothels though is very plausible from moral point of view, yet it
has its pernicious fallout. The sex seekers then explore the massage parlors;
hook-up the stray girls on the roadsides or from the pubs and clubs. More
often than not it turns out to be costly, risky and troublesome affair.
By curbing the option for a permissible sex in marked outlets interspersed in
Far East and the European countries, the American society in fact forces the
sexually deviants to change their partners through divorcing and remarrying.
It is for these compelling reasons that there is a high rate of divorces in
this country (60 %).For the affluent and rich individuals; it might not be
hurtful and economically disturbing. But for an ordinary person with meager
means and limited resources, it entails a host of mental and financial
Those among the citizenry who cannot afford to enter the rigmarole of divorce
and remarrying go into the sordid pursuit of rapes or outdoor sex relations.
There have been several instances reported in the press that the rapists
killed their victims to wash off the evidence.
In a nutshell this society gives a free hand to the teen age boys and girls
to have free sex, the girls to become pregnant and for the couple to leave
the education incomplete. On the other hand, the adults under the burden of
stringent conditions resort to criminal options for sex that land them either
in jail, burden them with enormous financial difficulties and segregation
from the society as offenders. Many among those who divorce and remarry
suffer from economic hardships besides psychological and mental disorders.
For children born out of the previous marriages, the separation of parents is
traumatic and would leave deep scars on their tender minds due to separation
of their parents. And let us not forget the crushing burden of child support
that turns many males and females paupers.
The simple solution of this conundrum is that during their schooling, the
teen age dating in school premises or in class rooms should be sternly curbed
for which a strategy can be worked out with the help of teachers and parents.
If adults find more liberal environment and resort to permissive outlets
minus sting forays, it could drastically reduce the divorce rate, curtail
abhorrent crimes as rape and sexual assaults. It could be instrumental is
halting to a reasonable scale the separation of families for the sake of
having a new sex partner. This society has got to be realistic. Even now the
covert sex cartels are operating. But utilizing those is dangerous and
exposing oneself to a Pandora-box of troubles.
The writer is a senior journalist, former editor of Diplomatic Times and a
former diplomat. This and other articles by the writer can also be read at
his blog www.uprightopinion.com