She Was Forced To Marry Someone She Did Not Want. Can She Use Contraceptive Pills?
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
I got married a short time ago, but I am not
happy with my husband. My family forced me to marry
him. My problem is that I do not want to have children
from him. Is it permissible for me to pray to Allaah
not to give me children from him, or is that not
permitted? I have read that it is not permissible to
use contraceptive pills without the husband's
permission. Is this true?.
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not permissible for the guardian, whether he is
the father or anyone else, to marry off anyone under
his care without her consent, because the Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "A
previously-married woman has more right concerning
herself than her guardian, and the permission of a
virgin should be sought (regarding marriage), and her
permission is her silence." Narrated by Muslim, 1421.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be
pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "No
previously-married woman should be married off without
being consulted, and no virgin should be married off
without asking her permission." They said: "O
Messenger of Allaah, what is her permission?" He said:
"If she remains silent." Narrated by al-Bukhaari,
4843; Muslim, 1419.
Similarly, it is not permissible for a guardian to be
stubborn about the marriage of a female under his
care, or to prevent her from marrying someone she
wants to marry if he is compatible with her. The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said: "If there comes to you one with whose religious
commitment and character you are pleased, then marry
(your female relative under your care) to him, for if
you do not do that there will be fitnah (tribulation)
in the land and much corruption." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi,
1084; classed as hasan by al-Albaani. See also
question no. 32580.
With regard to what has happened to you, you have the
choice of whether to stay or not. Seek guidance from
Allaah (by praying istikhaarah). If you agree to stay
in this marriage then all well and good, but if you do
not accept to stay with your husband, then you have
the right to seek annulment of the marriage, because
it took place without your consent.
It was narrated from Khansa' bint Khizaam al-Ansaariyyah
that her father married her off when she had been
previously married, and she did not like that. She
went to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) and he annulled the marriage.
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4845. And it was narrated
from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) that
a virgin girl came to the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) and told him that her father
had married her off against her objections. The
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
gave her the choice. Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2096;
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani.
The majority of scholars are of the view that if a
woman is married off without her consent, then the
marriage contract is invalid, because it is a
forbidden contract which cannot be validated. This is
the view of the Shaafa'is and Hanbalis.
The view of the Hanafis, which was also narrated in
one report from Ahmad, is that the contract is
dependent upon the woman's acceptance. If she gives
her consent then it is valid, otherwise she may annul
it.
See al-Mughni, 7/364; Fath al-Baari, 9/194
But so long as the court is in charge of marriages, it
is better to refer such matters to the court.
Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him)
said, concerning the matter of a father forcing his
daughter to marry: It is haraam for a man to force his
daughter to marry a man whom she does not want to
marry, and what is haraam cannot be validated or
implemented, because implementing it or validating it
goes against the prohibition that has been narrated.
When sharee'ah forbids a matter, then we should not be
involved in it or do it. If we validate it, that means
that we have becomes involved in it and done it, and
we have made it equivalent to the contracts that are
permitted in sharee'ah.
Based on this, the correct view is that the marriage
arranged by the father to a man whom his daughter does
not want as a husband is an invalid marriage, and the
contract is invalid, and should be examined by the
court.
See al-Fataawa, p. 760; see also Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn
Ibraaheem, 10/73-78
With regard to your taking contraceptive pills without
your husband's knowledge, this is not a solution to
the problem, because this means that you are staying
with one whom you do not like. As stated in the fatwa
of Shaykh Ibn Ibraaheem mentioned above, some of the
scholars have stated that if a women shows that she
accepts her marriage to someone to whom she was
married by force, then she forfeits the right to seek
annulment of the marriage. If she forfeits the right
to seek annulment, then the man becomes a legitimate
husband to her. If that is the case, then it is not
permissible for you to take contraceptive pills
without his knowledge, if there is a need for that.
See also question no. 5196, 22760.
He Is Confused As To Whether He
Should Marry A Virgin Or A Widow
I know a widow who has children, and I want to
get married. I am wondering whether I should marry her
or a virgin who has not been married before?
Praise be to Allaah.
This depends on the situation of the husband; it may
be that marriage to a widow is more suitable for him,
and better.
The widow may be a lady of religious commitment and
good character, such that you would not want to let
the opportunity to marry such a woman "slip through
your fingers", and you could not find a virgin of such
religious commitment and character.
But generally speaking, the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) encouraged marriage
to virgins.
There is the story of Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased
with him), whose father had died, leaving him with
sisters. In his case it would not have been suitable
for him to marry a virgin who was young like them. So
he wanted to marry a woman who had been previously
married, who could take care of them and look after
them, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah
be upon him) approved of his decision.
It was narrated that Jaabir ibn ‘Abd-Allaah (may
Allaah be pleased with them both) said: "The Prophet
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked me,
‘Have you got married?' I said, ‘Yes.' He said, ‘A
virgin or a previously-married woman?' I said, ‘A
previously-married woman.' He said, ‘Why not a young
girl, whom you could play with and she could play with
you?' I said, ‘I have sisters and I wanted to marry a
woman who could gather them together and comb their
hair and take care of them.' He said: ‘You will reach,
so when you have arrived (at home), I advise you to
associate with your wife (that you may have an
intelligent son).'"
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1991; Muslim, 715)
According to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari
(2257), "… so she could teach them and discipline
them."
According to another report narrated by al-Bukhaari
(2805) and Muslim (715): "He said: ‘The Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said to me, when I asked his permission (to
participate in jihaad), "Have you married a virgin or
a previously-married woman?" I said, "A
previously-married woman." He said, "Why did you not
marry a virgin whom you could play with and she could
play with you?" I said, "O Messenger of Allaah, my
father has died (or has become a shaheed/martyr), and
I have young sisters, so I did not want to marry
someone like them who could not discipline them or
take care of them, so I married a previously-married
woman who could take care of them and discipline
them."'"
It was narrated that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased
with him) said: "My father died, leaving seven – or
nine – daughters, and I married a previously-married
woman. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) asked, ‘Did you get married, O
Jaabir?' I said, ‘Yes.' He said, ‘A virgin or a
previously-married woman?' I said, ‘A
previously-married woman.' He said, ‘Why not a young
girl whom you could play with and she could play with
you, and you could laugh with her and she could laugh
with you?' I told him that ‘Abd-Allaah had died and
left behind daughters, and I did not want to bring to
them someone like them. So I had married a woman who
could take care of them and discipline them. He said,
‘May Allaah bless you,' or similar kind
words."(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5052)
Shaykh Mustafa al-Ruhaybaani said:
"It is Sunnah for the one who wants to get married to
marry a virgin, because the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to Jaabir, ‘Why
not a virgin whom you could play with and she could
play with you?' (agreed upon) – unless there is a
reason for which marrying a previously-married woman
is better, in which case he should choose such a woman
over a virgin, in order to serve that
interest."(Mataalib Uli al-Nuha, 5/9, 10)
And Allaah knows best.
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