Ruling On Gifts That She Received Through Her Relationship With A Man Before She Got Engaged|
Islamic Rulings - Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
I have a computer, mobile phone and other things
all of which came through haraam means, in the sense
that I had a relationship for a while and he gave me
these things with no ulterior motive or bad intention.
The evidence is that he proposed to me but my family
rejected him. What I mean is that he gave them
willingly and always regarded these things as
belonging to me and not to him.
In the end, the relationship came to an end, praise be
to Allah. But I want to ask about the ruling on my
using these things and the permissible way of using
Because I know that that which is built on falsehood
is also false, but I do not know the ruling on that.
What do I have to do ??
Also: if I give in charity or donate my money, or if I
use anything, I have my doubts about this money
because it is mixed – some of it is from my own wealth
and some of it is from this relationship, and some of
it is in the form of shares.
Also, I do not know whether what I put into shares was
from me or not. There are many things I am confused
about with regard to these matters, and I want an
answer so as to put my mind at rest. The wealth will
disappear sooner or later, but what has gone I will be
asked about on the Day of Resurrection. And you know
and everyone knows that Allah is good and does not
accept anything but that which is good.
Praise be to Allaah.
It is not permissible for a woman to form a
relationship with a man who is not permissible for
her, even if it is with the intention of getting
married in the future, because these relationships
involve things that are haraam and wrong, such as
looking, touching, enjoying listening, infatuation,
soft speech and other things that are not pleasing to
Allah, may He be exalted.
The gifts that you received are subject to further
1. Whatever was taken in return for the haraam
relationships that involved the evils that you have
mentioned, if it is still with you then you have to
get rid of it by giving it to the poor and needy.
Whatever has been used up or spent, you do not have to
do anything with regard to it.
This is the basic principle with regard to the one who
has acquired wealth through haraam work and it was
given to him by the other party willingly, such as
payment for singing and dancing and the like. The
money should not be given back to the one who gave it,
and the one who took it should not benefit from it
because it is wealth that he took in an evil manner.
The gifts that men give in haraam relationships are
only given in return for enjoying the continuation of
that relationship, seeing the woman, going out with
her, talking to her and so on. They are given
willingly in return for something haraam. The most
correct scholarly opinion on that is what we have
mentioned, that one should get rid of them.
2. Gifts that came after engagement; if the fiancé
asks for them, they must be given back to him, but if
he does not ask for them then they become your
See also the answer to question no. 101859
We ask Allah to help and guide you.
And Allah knows best.
He married her in order to forget
his ex-fiancée; and the ruling on correspondence
between the sexes
My husband came home from
work and told me he did not want to be married any
more because he wants to be alone and than we went to
Jumah. That Tue. After having intercourse he told me
his ex fiancé found him by e-mail, a week prior. He
allowed me to see the e-mail she sent him. To my
surprise there was more than 1. They were e-mailing
each other but he did not tell me that. In the e-mails
they were discussing each other's body parts. He was
calling her everyday that he had to work & said he
will not loose her again. He said he married me for
two reasons. He didn't want anyone else to have me &
thinking it would get her out of his system but it did
not and he has been looking for her since and now they
have found each other. He has giving the girl our
mailing address as well and she has used it. I spoke
with her asking if she would not bother with him. She
told me he is a free man. I know he is allowed up to 4
wives. He has his name on a list with the high school
graduated from so that other people can get in touch
with him. So far 3 females has found him. I would like
to know if it is okay for my husband to have female
friends and they are all non-Muslims. Please help me.
Sometimes I feel he doesn't want me for the right
reasons. We are overseas and she is in the states &
now he wants to go back.
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah has made marriage one of His signs, and has
created love and compassion between the spouses, and
He has made each spouse a garment for the other. The
basic principle regarding marriage is that it should
be lasting: it is not permissible for either spouse to
go against the purpose of marriage. Your husband
should have feared Allaah and had a good intention
before embarking on marriage. So long as he married
you with your consent and all the conditions of
marriage were fulfilled, then your marriage is valid
and there is no doubt about it.
It is also haraam for him to establish relationships
with women who are "strangers" to him [i.e., non-mahrams]
and to correspond with them, so how about if that
correspondence also involves obscene words such as
words of love and romance? See the answer to question
With regard to yourself, why don't you speak frankly
with your husband and advise him? That may bring him
back to his senses. Or you could ask some good people
to intervene and advise him.
If he cannot forget her, then it is permissible for
him, according to Islam, to marry her if she is a
kitaabi [one of the People of the Book, i.e., a Jew or
a Christian], subject to the condition that he repents
from having had haraam relationships and he comes back
to being chaste.
In that way he will protect himself from falling into
haraam actions. Allaah permits Muslim men to marry
chaste women from among the People of the Book (Jews
You have to be patient and not hasten to separate from
him. Perhaps if you stay with him and are patient with
him, and keep on advising him, that may be the cause
of his being guided and coming back to his senses.
If he insists on separating and continuing to do
haraam things, then you should not feel bad about it
and should not be keen to stay with him. Whatever the
case, we ask Allaah to guide us and you and him and
give us strength.
And Allaah knows best.