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Can A Suitor Lie To The Non-Muslim Family Of The Girl He Wants To Marry And Say He Is Unmarried: Sperm Count Is Low; Does He Have To Disclose That?

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Last year I came to know of this brother who teaches Islamic classes and also through da'wah work. He seems to be like a religious brother (Hafiz of Qur'an and organizes Islamic activities maasha'Allah), and Allah knows best.
This brother will be getting married this year, and then wants to marry me next year insha'Allah (as I would like to get married after I graduate from unviersity insha'Allah)...so that would make me his second wife.
The issue is - my family is not Muslim (non-practicing Shi'a, atheist, agnostic, etc) - since two male family members have spoken to me about the topic of polygamy already, I suspect that they would ask any suitor if he has other wives.
I asked the person going between me and the brother how he could answer that...because I believe my family would only accept 'no, I don't' as an answer and if he said that, that would be lying.
His response was that it is permissible to lie in this situation to prevent family ties being broken.
I'm really unsure about if this would be a permissible situation for him to lie in? Do you think I should enter into this marriage? I would appreciate your advice.


Praise be to Allaah.

First:

If you have a Muslim guardian, he would be the one handling your marriage and the suitor would need to answer him truthfully if he were to ask him about that. The guardian has the right to look into these matters for the benefit of his principal and to enlighten her on matters she may not perceive the outcomes of.

And if you do not have a Muslim guardian from your relatives, your marriage should be handled by the Imam of an Islamic Centre, or someone similar who has a position of respect among the Muslim community and your relatives would have no authority over you. In that case we could say: If the suitor is a pious man and you fear that if he were to inform them of his previous marriage they would refuse him, then he can use what is known as tawriyah, which is basically the use of speech which can be understood in different ways (intending for them to understand other than the reality). For example, he may say: "I did not marry (i.e. a year ago)". But he should beware of saying: "I am not married" or "I don't have a wife" as that is considered as an implicit divorce according to some jurists and the divorce would be valid if he had that intention.

Second:

You should consider the consequences of your family finding out that he is married and that you both lied to them, and the effects that will have on their opinion of you and of Islam and your husband, the Islamic caller. It may have a negative impact and so we do not advise you to get into such a predicament, the results of which may not be commendable.

We also do not support your waiting a whole year for a man who has not yet married his first wife. Therefore, if a suitable suitor were to propose, you should seriously consider him for the sake of preserving your chastity and protecting yourself, and also for fear that this present suitor may change his mind about marrying you.

You should also know that the suitable, righteous and religious husband doesn't necessarily have to be one who delivers lectures and sermons and is active in Islamic centres and mosques. Rather, he should be religious himself, venerating his religion and keen to worship his Lord.

Increase your supplications to Allah for ease, success and satisfaction.

And Allah knows best.

He Wants To Get Married But His Sperm Count Is Low; Does He Have To Disclose That?

There is a young man who has not got married yet, but he found out that he has varicose veins on his testes. He did a test of his sperm and the result was bad; his sperm count was two million per millilitre and the motility was very very weak. Then he had surgery on the varicose veins, and after three months he did another test on his sperm and found that the result was much improved, but he still needed treatment because the improvement may only last three to twelve months.
Now the number of sperm per millilitre is fourteen million, and the motility increased to approximately 10%.
Based on the explanation given by the doctors, it is essential to have a count of twenty million at least and motility of 50% at least, but the doctor who is treating him is optimistic about the final outcome, although the treatment will continue for another three months.
Now he wants to propose marriage. Should he tell the wife or not? Please note that the hope of improvement is there, in sha Allah.


Praise be to Allaah.

Having a low sperm count and low sperm motility of the level mentioned is regarded as a fault which must be disclosed, and it is not permissible to conceal it, because of what it may lead to of not having children. Having children is one of the most important aims of marriage, so the wife has the right to have children just as the husband has the same right.

If a man gets married and is aware of this weakness, and cannot have children, that is more likely to put the wife off him and make her regard him as having deceived her.

Hence Ameer al-Mu'mineen ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab (may Allah be pleased with him) said to the one who married a woman but could not have children: "Tell her that you are sterile and give her the choice." Quoted in Zaad al-Ma‘aad, 5/183

It says in Masaa'il al-Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, narrated by Abu Ya‘qoob al-Kawsaj (no. 1282): I said: What about the man who marries a woman when he is sterile and cannot have children?

Ahmad said: I prefer the one who knows that about himself to disclose it; perhaps his wife wants to have children.

Ishaaq said the same as he said, because he cannot deceive her. End quote. Narrated by Ibn Qudaamah in al-Mughni (6/653).

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah and Ibn al-Qayyim favoured the view that sterility is regarded as a fault that constitutes grounds for annulment of the marriage, unlike the majority of scholars.

See: al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah, 30/268

See also the answers to questions no. 85101 and 112455.

Based on that, this young man has to tell his fiancée, then if she accepts, that is up to her.

If he hopes that the situation will improve and the problem will be resolved within a short time as mentioned, then he may delay proposing marriage until that time.

We ask Allah to guide and help us and you.

And Allah knows best.

 

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