Ruling On Asking For Divorce Because Of
Depression - Case Of Patience And Faith
Islamic Rulings - Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
I want to ask about the ruling on asking for
divorce when affected by depression.
Is being far away from one's homeland and family --
which has caused depression for me -- an excuse which
makes it permissible to ask for divorce? Please note
that before marriage I knew that I would be living in
a country other than my original homeland.
Praise be to Allaah.
The depression that people feel may be a sickness that
needs to be treated and needs referral to specialists;
or it may be feelings of distress that may be relieved
by doing a lot of acts of worship, remembering Allah,
keeping company with good and righteous friends, and
keeping busy with beneficial actions. For more
information on that please see the answer to questions
number 22704, 21515 and 100774.
Whatever the case, Allah has not sent down any disease
but He has sent down a cure for it, and there is a
remedy for this depression no matter what type it is.
The believer should adorn himself with patience and
certainty of faith, and he should turn to Allah a
great deal and ask of Him, because the keys to
goodness are in His hand. How many believing men and
women have patiently borne a sickness or calamity or
imprisonment, without feeling the need to commit a
haraam action. This is the action of people who are
discontent with the divine decree and are not patient
in accepting what Allah wills; they hasten to rid
themselves of what has befallen them by any means, no
matter what negative consequences it leads to in this
world or the Hereafter.
It is not permissible for a woman to ask her husband
for divorce except for a legitimate shar'i reason
which prevents her from continuing with him, such as
his bad treatment or her being put off by him to the
extent that she cannot give him his rights. That is
because of the reports narrated by Abu Dawood (2226),
al-Tirmidhi (1187) and Ibn Maajah (2055) from Thawbaan
(may Allah be pleased with him) who said: The
Messenger of Allaah (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) said: "Any woman who asks her husband for a
divorce when it is not absolutely necessary, the
fragrance of Paradise will be forbidden to her."
Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
And it was narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir (may Allah
be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Those who ask for
khula' are hypocrite women." Narrated by al-Tabaraani
in al-Kabeer (17/339); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani
in Saheeh al-Jaami'. No/ 1934.
If we assume that the wife in her state of anger,
sickness or depression asked her husband for a
divorce, when she calms down she will realize her
mistake and ask Allah for forgiveness and apologize to
If the depression and hardship stem from her
relationship with her husband, because of his bad
treatment or because she dislikes him, and this is
proven by trustworthy people from her family, then
they should try to bring about reconciliation and
consult the husband with regard to that, so as to
reach a solution which will bring the wife out of the
state of depression in which she is living.
Our advice to the questioner -- who has mentioned that
the reason for her depression is being far away from
her family -- is that she should be patient and try to
get over this crisis.
Depression -- in most cases -- happens to the person
who has too much free time, who is not keeping himself
busy with useful work, whether it has to do with
matters of the Hereafter or with worldly matters.
Keep yourself busy by doing useful things; join a
circle for memorizing the Holy Qur'aan; get to know
trustworthy sisters who are religiously committed and
of good character, and work with them in doing good
You can make an agreement with your husband that you
can visit your family from time to time, and we also
encourage your family to visit you as well.
The husband has to put up with what he may encounter
from his wife, and try to support her and help her to
get over this crisis. It is essential for the husband,
the wife and her family to cooperate so that things
may go back to normal.
As for divorce, stop thinking about it and overcome
the depression that you are faced with. Seek the help
of Allah and call upon Him a great deal.
We ask Allah to set your affairs straight and to help
you to do all that is good.
And Allah knows best.