Dealing With The Fitnah (Temptation): How Can I Save Myself From The Temptation Of Women?
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read the words of the Prophet (Peace And Blessings Of
Allaah Be Upon Him), "I have not left behind me any
fitnah (temptation) more harmful to men than women."
Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5096; Muslim, 2740.
My question is: how can I save myself from this
temptation, when I see it everywhere in the street,
on TV, on the internet, at work
Praise be to Allaah.
created man in a world of trials and tests, and He has
made Paradise the abode of His friends and beloved
ones, who preferred His pleasure over their own and
preferred obedience to Him over their physical
comfort. And He has made Hell the abode of those among
His slaves who disobey Him and preferred their own
whims and desires to the pleasure of their Lord.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Such is the Paradise which We shall give as an
inheritance to those of Our slaves who have been Al-Muttaqoon
"But as for him who feared standing before his Lord,
and restrained himself from impure evil desires and
Verily, Paradise will be his abode"
And He says concerning the people of Hell
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Then, there has succeeded them a posterity who have
given up As-Salaat (the prayers) [i.e. made their
Salaat (prayers) to be lost, either by not offering
them or by not offering them perfectly or by not
offering them in their proper fixed times] and have
followed lusts. So they will be thrown in Hell"
And He says (interpretation of the meaning):
"That shall be their recompense, Hell; because they
disbelieved and took My Ayaat (proofs, evidences,
verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) and My
Messengers by way of jest and mockery"
"Then for him who transgressed all bounds, (in
disbelief, oppression and evil deeds of disobedience
And preferred the life of this world (by following his
evil desires and lusts),
Verily, his abode will be Hell-fire"
So the Muslim must strive to worship Allaah and keep
away from that which angers Allaah, for Allaah will
not cause the reward the one who does good to be lost:
"As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We
will surely guide them to Our paths (i.e. Allaah's
religion Islamic Monotheism). And verily, Allaah is
with the Muhsinoon (good-doers)"
[al-'Ankaboot 29:69 interpretation of the meaning]
One of the fitnahs (temptations) with which we are
tested is the fitnah of women, as the Prophet (Peace
And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon Him) said: "I have not
left behind me any fitnah (temptation) more harmful to
men than women." There follow some of the methods by
which we can avoid this temptation. We ask Allaah to
set the affairs of the Muslims straight.
1 Faith in Allaah.
Faith in Allaah and fear of Allaah provide a safety
valve and protect a person against committing haraam
actions and following his own whims and desires.
If the believer becomes aware that Allaah is always
watching and if he ponders the meanings of His names
and attributes, such as the All-Knowing, the
All-Hearing, the All-Seeing, the Watchful, the
Reckoner, the Preserver, the All-Encompassing, that
will generate fear of Him in secret and in public, and
will put a stop to disobedience towards Allaah, and
will reduce the strength of desire that leads many
people to commit haraam actions.
2 Lowering the gaze and avoiding looking at haraam
The gaze can generate bad thoughts in the heart, which
then lead to ideas and then to desires, then to will
and resolve, and then inevitably to doing haraam
things. Think about the meaning of this verse which
makes a connection between the first steps towards
haraam and the end result. Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from
looking at forbidden things), and protect their
private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is
purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what
Ibn Katheer said: "This is a command from Allaah to
His believing slaves, to lower their gaze and avoid
looking at that which is forbidden to them so that
they only look at that which they are permitted to
look at. If it so happens that a person's gaze
accidentally falls upon something haraam, he should
turn his gaze away from it quickly.
3 Warding off evil thoughts
Bad thoughts pose a danger to the heart
If a person
dwells on them and does not push them away, they will
develop into an idea, then into will and resolve, then
this will inevitably lead to haraam actions. Beware of
dwelling on passing thoughts; rather what you must do
is to ward them off and crowd them out with good
The treatment, then, is to ward off these passing
thoughts and keep yourself busy with beneficial
It was narrated that 'Abd-Allaah ibn Mas'ood said: The
Prophet (Peace And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon Him)
said: "O young men, whoever among you can afford it,
let him get married, and whoever cannot, let him fast,
for it will be a shield for him." Narrated by al-Bukhaari,
5 Fasting for those who cannot afford to get married
because of the hadeeth quoted above, in which it
and whoever cannot, let him fast, for it will
be a shield for him." Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065.
The less a person eats, the weaker his desire becomes,
and the weaker his desire is, the less sins he
6 Keeping away from bad companions.
The Prophet (Peace And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon
Him) said: "A man will follow the way of his close
friends, so let each one of you look at who he takes
as a close friend." Narrated by Abu Dawood, 8433;
classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood,
7 Keeping away from places of temptation.
It is obvious that we are living in a society that is
filled with temptation media of all types,
magazines, flirting in the marketplaces, satellite TV,
the internet, etc
So you have to flee from all of
these in order to keep your religious commitment
8 Do not make your houses graves.
Make your house a reminder of obedience, not of sin.
If a room is connected to sin for example, that will
make a person commit sin repeatedly, because every
time he enters that room he will remember the sin and
may be provoked to commit the sin again. So he should
make his room and his house a reminder of obedience to
Allaah, so when he enters he sees the Mus-haf which he
reads, and he remembers praying qiyaam al-layl for
Allaah, and the regular Sunnah prayers that he offers
in this room. Doing a lot of acts of worship in your
house will make a connection in your mind between the
house and doing good deeds, so you will do more and
will think less of sin, and the calls of desire will
9 Trying to make the most of your time in
worshipping and obeying Allaah.
Time is one of the great blessings that Allaah has
bestowed upon His slaves, but there are many who are
not making the most of it. It was narrated that Ibn 'Abbaas
(may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet
(Peace And Blessings Of Allaah Be Upon Him) said: "Two
blessings which many people do not make the most of:
good health and spare time." Narrated by al-Bukhaari,
See also question no. 3234.
10 Remembering the blessings of the Hereafter.
Particularly appropriate in this context is
remembering al-hoor al-'iyn and their attributes, whom
Allaah has prepared for those who are patient and
steadfast in avoiding sin. This can help the Muslim to
look at these transient haraam pleasures which only
lead to regret and loss.
We ask Allaah to help us to avoid temptation, both
obvious and hidden. Praise be to Allaah the Lord of