His Wife Became Muslim But He Hurts Her And Mistreats Her
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
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traveled to Europe, married a Christian woman and had
a daughter from her to get residency. He lived the
first years in secrecy. He used to harm his wife and
daughter like if they were not his family. His wife
converted to Islam after Allah guided her. But he
still hasn't changed. He is sinful and commits
adultery, nor does he spend on his family. He forcibly
takes his wife's money, and she is patient despite his
unfairness, as she has other children and wants to
protect her family, wishing that Allah guides him one
This woman's family thinks that the reason behind all
the problems she meets is Islam and foreigners. May
you please advise this man so that he may return to
the straight path? And what is the ruling of Islam on
Praise be to Allaah.
Allaah for having guided this sister to Islam and we
ask Him to make her steadfast in adhering to the
truth, and to guide her to the right words and deeds.
What the sister has mentioned is an example of how
Islam is suffering at the hands of its people – if we
may put it this way – people who claim to be Muslim,
then they go against the rulings and etiquette of
Islam. Moreover, if this transgression happened in a
Muslim country, where Islam is prevalent and those who
are committed to the faith are known, then no one
would be blamed for someone else's mistakes, and no
one would condemn Islam because of the bad deeds of an
evildoer. In that case the matter wouldn't be so bad.
But the problem becomes worse when one of these
evildoers lives in the west, among the kuffaar, and
they regard him as a representative of Islam and of
its morals, etiquette and rulings, then he lives his
life like the Jews and Christians around him, not
paying any attention to what is halaal and haraam.
Al-Awzaa'i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: It was
said that there is no Muslim who is not standing guard
on the borders of Islam, so whoever can prevent Islam
from being undermined or attacked, let him do so.
Al-Hasan ibn Hayy (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
With regard to Islam, the Muslims are like a fortress.
If a Muslim does a bad deed, Islam is breached from
his direction; if all the Muslims do bad deeds, you
should persevere in adhering to that which, if all the
people were united on it, the religion of Islam would
prevail, that which Allaah wants for all people, and
do not let Islam be breached from your direction.
Al-Sunnah by Muhammad ibn Nasr al-Marwazi (no. 29,
It hurts every Muslim to hear that Muslim sisters who
have entered Islam recently are exposed to verbal and
physical harm by those who are supposed to be a good
example of Islam and of the Muslim family which should
be distinguished by stability, love and compassion
among its members. It is regrettable that among those
who claim to belong to Islam there should be someone
like this husband who sets a bad example and puts
people off Islam, and who causes the image of Islam to
be distorted, which leads people to criticize it.
If one of the things that this husband does is to
neglect the prayer, then the sister should realize
that it is not permissible for her to stay with him,
because not praying is regarded in sharee'ah as kufr
which puts one beyond the pale of Islam, hence the
marriage contract is rendered invalid. A person like
this husband is not fit to be the head of a family in
which he is entrusted with his wife and children,
rather there is the fear that he may harm them by his
bad actions. If he does not spend on them as enjoined
by Allaah, then he has combined all kinds of evil in
his actions and attitude, and staying with him is a
heavy burden that the wife is shouldering for no
reason; if she rids herself of him by means of divorce
or separation, that will be better for her and perhaps
her life will change for the better, either on her own
with her children or with another husband who
understands the value of family and fulfils the duty
that Allaah has enjoined upon him.
If this sister hopes that her husband will be guided
and set straight, then she should strive to achieve
that through his friends or relatives who may be able
to have some effect on him and guide him. She can also
make use of audio and video tapes which contain
exhortations and warnings against committing sin, and
remind one of death, the grave and the reckoning.
Perhaps that will influence him and bring him back to
his Lord, may He be glorified and exalted.
If that does not do any good, then she should not
hesitate to refer her case to a Muslim judge or mufti,
or the imam of a mosque whose knowledge and religion
commitment she trusts, to help her to get rid of him.
If she cannot do that, then she should refer the
matter to judicial or state institutions that take
care of family matters. If he does not pray, then her
marriage is null and void, and if he commits those
sins although he also prays, then she should pursue
shar'i means of freeing herself from him through a
scholar or seeker of knowledge or an Islamic centre,
to oblige him to spend on his family and give up sins
and evil actions. If he refuses then they should
divorce her from him in accordance with sharee'ah, and
after that she should divorce him officially so that
he will no longer be regarded as her husband.
This sister should strive to move to a Muslim country
because that – even though there may be things there
that go against sharee'ah – is better than the land of
kufr and permissiveness, where the Muslim cannot find
safety for himself and his children.
We ask Allaah to increase her reward and to guide her
and her children, and help them to do that which
And Allaah knows best.