Wants To Marry A Girl But His Father Does Not Approve Of Her
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
chosen a religious and well-mannered girl to be my
wife, but when I told my father about this, he
rejected the idea. I have tried to convince him but he
is insisting. I wanted to know why, but he said there
is no reason why. I am confused. Should I obey my
father and forget about the girl I have chosen even
though this will cause me and my family so much pain?
I hope that you will advise of the right thing to do.
May Allaah reward you with good.
Praise be to Allaah.
This question requires that we offer advice to both of
you. Firstly, to your father, who you say is
preventing you from marrying this girl whom you
describe as religious and well-mannered. He has to
allow you to marry her, unless he has some legitimate
Islamic reason, which he should explain to you to
convince you and put your mind at rest. He should also
put himself in your shoes: if his own father prevented
him from marrying a religious and well-mannered girl
whom he liked, would he not feel resentful about this
denial of his freedom? If he would not like his father
to do such a thing to him, how can he do this to his
son? As the Prophet (Peace And Blessings Of Allaah Be
Upon Him) said: "None of you truly believes until he
likes for his brother what he likes for himself."
It is not right for your father to prevent you from
marrying this girl with no legitimate Islamic reason.
If there is a reason, he should explain it to you so
that you will understand what is going on.
Our advice to you is this: if you can possibly change
your mind and find another girl to marry, in order to
please your father, maintain family unity and avoid
division, then do so.
But you may find that you cannot do that, because your
heart is attached to this girl, and you cannot bear
the thought of marrying anyone else. You may also be
afraid that if you choose another girl, your father
might object to that marriage too, because some
parents may try to force their son to marry a
relative, or a woman whose qualities the father likes
but the son does not. Some parents may feel jealousy
or envy even towards their own children, so they
prevent them from doing what they want to do. If this
is the case, then there is no sin on you if you marry
her, even if your father objects. Perhaps after you
are married, your father may change his mind. We ask
Allaah to help you make the right choice.
Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen, Fataawaa Islamiyyah, vol. 4, p.