Should
She Try To Bring Up Her Children In A Muslim Country Or
Take Them To Join Her Husband In Britain?
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
I would like some advice concerning my situation
and wish to share a bit of background with you so you
can fully understand my situation. I am a married
sister with 3 children. One from a previous marriage.
2 years ago I moved to Algeria alone without my
husband and older son who Is from the previous
marriage , he did not wish to come to Algeria and
wanted to study in uk. And so my husband is working in
uk and taking care of my son, And I live in Algeria
with 2 of my children a daughter age 13 and son age 4
at present my daughter goes to Muslim school here and
was planning the same for my younger son . Me and my
husband agreed to live this way and agreed to him
coming to see u every 3 months which he does
alhamduillah. While I have lived here alone this time
I have found the family of my husband who are not very
practicing, not supportive and weeks go by me and my
children don't see any one within the family. And when
we do I find myself just hearing back biting amongst
them, which I dislike hearing and none likes to hear
the truth when told its wrong. So am taking care of
myself and children alone, I wear niqab as it is
really a world full of men here and a times I hate to
go out but must to meet the needs of my children.
Brother I have tried so hard living here but have
reached a point I no longer wish to live alone in a
country were I don't speak the lauange as I am a
revert to Islam and without my husband, I have asked
my husband to come here to live but its difficult
because my son Is still only 18 and has gone a stray
mixing with girls since I left him alone as my husband
works most day so my son Is left alone. And the pain
and guilt I feel because of the behaviour of my son is
on my shoulders even thought I have showed him so many
times its haram . So my husband cannot live here at
this stage because of these points, so I see myself
and children living her alone year after year alone if
Allah wishes me in the life this long So I have been
thinking I should return and unite my family, we are
so lonely here Alahmduillah I love being in Muslim
country and breaks my heart to leave but I must be
with my family, so when I told my husband about my
feeling he was not happy at all and said what about
the children , not good bring them back to none Muslim
country . Which only made me feel even worse as I then
felt I was in a corner and it wasn't about bring the
family together but just his 2 children saying on
Muslim land. Which I understand and live it so know
the beauty of that mashallah , but alone is the issue.
No husband, no father no mahram So brother were do I
stand on this matter I am so confused and have prayed
my istikharah twice now and still feel confused each
day is different and most of all the guilt Is the most
painful because I feel and know my husband he is not
happy for me to return for good to uk with children.
As a wife I feel let down, that the bond of our
marriage is not as strong as I though and feel im in a
corner because If I do return if any problems arise my
husband will blame me for it all. Brother I ask for
you advice in this matter what is the best to do in
this situation.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Settling in a kaafir country is not permissible unless
certain conditions are met, the most important of
which are that the one who does that is sufficiently
religiously committed to protect himself against
desires; he has sufficient knowledge and insight to
protect himself against specious arguments; he is able
to practice his religion openly; and he feels safe for
himself and his family. For further details on that
please see the answers to questions no. 13363 and
27211.
Secondly:
There is no doubt that taking the children and moving
to this country involves many serious dangers to their
religious commitment and morals, especially for girls
at the adolescent stage. It seems that this is the
reason why your husband does not want you to go and
join him. It is not appropriate for you to interpret
that as meaning that he does not love you and that the
bond between you has become weak. You should not think
that your husband is happier when he is far away from
his wife and children. The Shaytaan is keen to exploit
such matters in order to spread poison and provoke
doubt and suspicion. So you should beware of that.
Weighing up between staying in a country where you
feel like a stranger and feel lonely, but you do not
have to worry about your children's upbringing, and
moving to a country where there are many dangers to a
sound upbringing and there are great possibilities of
going astray, is something that requires careful study
and examination of all possible circumstances. It may
be that no one can do that except both of you. So seek
the help of Allah and consult one another about this
matter; discuss it from all angles whilst focusing on
the pros and cons. Islam came to achieve and perfect
what is in people's best interests, and to ward off
and reduce what may corrupt them. We will present a
few points to you that could help you to weigh up
these matters.
1. Your daughter may be able to study in an Islamic
school in the United Kingdom. This may strengthen the
case for you moving to join your husband. Then you
would be reunited, you will no longer feel lonely and
both of you would be able to attain the rights
prescribed in sharee‘ah of shelter, love and
stability, and thus your husband will be able to
supervise his oldest son, and direct him and ward off
a great deal of harm from him.
2. Similarly, if it is possible for your daughter to
follow a course of study through distance learning in
the United Kingdom or elsewhere, so that she will be
safe from the evil effects of mixing, that will
support the idea of your moving.
3. If your need for your husband is urgent and you
fear for yourself if you stay alone, then you should
definitely move so as to ward off this problem.
4. Your choice should not involve your daughter
studying in a mixed school, because there is no doubt
that mixed schools are haraam and organised studies
are not obligatory for girls; rather a girl is
required to learn what she needs of her religion, and
this can be achieved through many means, such as
attending classes and seminars, benefitting from
Islamic centres, satellite channels, the internet and
so on, if there is someone who can support the girl
such as a father or mother or husband. Then it is not
essential for her to study with the aim of getting a
job. The necessity of preserving religious commitment
takes precedence over completing education or
attaining high positions.
5. What we are inclined towards in general is to bring
the family together in one place, even if that means
missing out on some benefits, because the problems
that result from the family being scattered are
greater than the benefits thereof, as it appears to
us.
We ask Allah to help and guide you both.
And Allah knows best.
Ruling On Women Riding Bicycles
In Western Countries
If a woman is a new Muslim, and she is currently not
married and has a child who she must support - living
in a non-Muslim country... what is the ruling for her
riding a bicycle for her work and other places, seeing
as she does not have enough money to buy a car, or
even rent an apartment! During the summertime walking
becomes difficult, so she would like to buy a bicycle,
what is the ruling regarding this?.
Praise be to Allaah.
The woman is required to cover all of her body in
front of non-mahram men with clothes that are loose
and will not show the size of her limbs and are not
see-through.
The basic principle is that it is permissible for a
woman to ride animals, just as women used to ride
camels and so on at the time of the Prophet (blessings
and peace of Allah be upon him). al-Bukhaari (5365)
and Muslim (2527) narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may
Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "The
best women who ride camels are the women of Quraysh."
Some fuqaha' forbade women to ride horses except in
cases of necessity such as jihad or Hajj, and they
gave as the reason for that the fact that it is an
imitation of men, and because of the reports that the
women who do that are cursed, but that is a hadeeth
that is not saheeh.
It says in al-Durr al-Mukhtaar: A Muslim woman should
not ride an animal because of the hadeeth. This
applies if it is for leisure, but if it is for a need
such as a campaign or Hajj or some religious or
worldly interest concerning which she has no other
option, then there is nothing wrong with it.
Ibn ‘Aabideen said in his Haashiyah (6/423): The
phrase "because of the hadeeth" refers to a hadeeth in
al-Dhakheerah which says "May Allah curse the women on
saddles." But al-Madani narrated from Abu'l-Tayyib
that there is no basis for it, i.e., there is no
source for the hadeeth in this wording but the meaning
is proven. In al-Bukhaari and elsewhere it says: The
Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) cursed men who imitate women and women who
imitate men. In al-Tabaraani it says: A woman passed
by the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of
Allah be upon him) carrying a bow and he said: May
Allah curse women who imitate men and men who imitate
women.
The words "but if it is for a need such as a campaign"
and so on mean: it is stipulated that she should be
covered and she should be with her husband or a mahram.
The words "for some religious interest" refer to
something like travelling in order to uphold ties of
kinship. End quote.
If a woman rides a bicycle in front of men there is
the possibility that she may become uncovered and part
of her body may appear or the shape of her body may
appear when she moves and air flows around her. For
this reason it is not permissible for her to do that
except in the case of necessity or urgent need, on
condition that she wear clothes that cover her, with
pants and socks underneath.
We asked Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy
on him) a previous question, which was as follows: Is
it permissible for a Muslim woman living in a kaafir
country to ride a bicycle or motorbike wearing
complete hijab?
He replied: I do not think this is allowed, because
she may be caught up with pursued. End quote.
Dr. Ahmad al-Hajji al-Kurdi [an expert in al-Mawsoo‘ah
al-Fiqhiyyah and a member of the Ifta Committee in
Kuwait] was asked:
What is the ruling on women riding bicycles in
European countries in order to get to school or work
or to the supermarket?
He replied:
There is no reason why a woman should not ride a
motorbike or a bicycle if she is where men cannot see
her, so long as she adheres to complete shar‘i hijab
that covers her body and she is careful to avoid
showing any part of her ‘awrah when getting on and
off.
But with regard to her riding it in a place where men
can see her, I do not think that this is permissible
except in the case of urgent need, because usually
when a woman rides it, part of what she has covered
appears or the clothes become tight and show the shape
of her body. And because she may fall from it and
uncover what she has covered, or there are other
reservations.
Moreover, among the conditions of a woman's hijab in
front of non-mahram men is that it should cover all of
the ‘awrah; it should be thick and not see-through;,
it should be loose and should not show the shape; and
it should be of a dull colour that does not attract
attention; it should not have any adornment or
pattern; and it should not be intended as an
adornment, rather it should be worn in order to cover.
The best that I have seen in that regard is what is
called the jilbaab, but I do not say it is obligatory
for anyone.
End quote from his website:
http://www.islamic-fatwa.net/fatawa/index.php?module=fatwa&id=23368
And Allah knows best.
©
EsinIslam.Com
Add Comments