He
Tells Her To Shake Hands With Men And Threatens To Divorce
Her If She Does Not Do It
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & AnswersA
man tells his wife to shake hands with men, and he
strongly insists on that, and the matter has reached
the point of divorce. They have a daughter, and the
wife refuses to do that. What should the wife do? What
advice do you give them?.
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
It is not permissible for a man to shake hands with a
non-mahram woman, and it is not permissible for her to
allow that.
The fact that such hand-shaking is haraam is indicated
by the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (4891) and
Muslim (1866) from ‘Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased
with her) who said: By Allaah, the hand of (the
Prophet) (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
never touched the hand of a woman when accepting the
oath of allegiance. When he accepted a woman's oath of
allegiance he said: "Go, for I have accepted your oath
of allegiance."
This was the infallible one, the best of mankind, the
leader of the sons of Adam (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him); he never touched women although
the basic principle concerning the oath of allegiance
is that it should be done with a handshake. So how
about other men?
It was narrated that Umaymah, the daughter of Raqeeqah,
said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of
Allaah be upon him) said: "I do not shake hands with
women." Narrated by al-Nasaa'i (4181) and Ibn Maajah
(2874); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami'
(2513). It was narrated from Ma'qil ibn Yasaar (may
Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If one of
you were to be stabbed in the head with an iron
needle, that would be better for him than touching a
woman who is not permissible for him." Narrated by al-Tabaraani;
classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami'
(no. 5045).
This clearly shows that it is haraam.
Al-Kharashi said in Sharh Mukhatasar Khaleel (1/275):
Shaking hands with a woman who is not a mahram is not
permitted. And Allaah knows best. End quote.
In Haashiyat al-‘Adawi ‘ala Sharh al-Risaalah (2/474)
it says: It is not permissible for a man to shake
hands with a woman, even if she is very old. End
quote.
"Very old" means so old that she would not be regarded
as desirable.
In al-Mawsoo'ah al-Fiqhiyyah (29/296) it says: There
is no difference of opinion among the fuqaha' that it
is not permissible to touch the face and hands of a
non-mahram woman even if there is no risk of desire.
This applies if she is a young, desirable woman. The
Maalikis and Shaafa'is are of the view that it is
haraam to touch a non-mahram women and they make no
distinction between young and old women. End quote.
Secondly:
A wife is not obliged to obey her husband if he tells
her to shake hands with non-mahram men, rather it is
not permissible for her to do that, because there is
no obedience to any created being if it involves
disobedience towards the Creator.
This husband has to fear Allaah and beware of His
wrath and painful punishment. This command of his goes
against the command of Allaah, and his threatening his
wife with divorce is unjust treatment of her. He
should be happy that she is obeying her Lord and he
should help her to do that.
Thirdly:
If the husband persists in his attitude, and threatens
to divorce her, and insists on that, then it seems –
and Allaah knows best – that the wife may shake hands
with men from behind a barrier, and do the lesser of
the two evils so as to ward off the greater of the
two. But she should reduce the chances of meeting men
as much as she can so that she can avoid shaking
hands. She should also try to advise her husband and
explain the truth to him, so that he will change his
mind.
If the husband is not convinced by that, and he
insists that she shakes hands without a barrier, then
she should not obey him, and she should be patient and
seek reward with Allaah, even if she gets divorced,
especially if this is a first divorce. Perhaps the
husband will come to his senses if a divorce takes
place, and will realize that he is destroying his
family himself, for the sake of something haraam.
She should also seek the help of righteous people
among his family and hers, to resolve this dispute and
convince the husband to change his mind, and remind
him to fear Allaah and remember that He is always
watching.
The wife should also be certain that Allaah will grant
her a way out, for He does not forsake those who obey
Him and He defends the believers.
We ask Allaah to set the affairs of the Muslims
straight.
And Allaah knows best.
©
EsinIslam.Com
Add Comments