24 May 2010
By Carmen
Yarrusso
Many Americans
wonder why we continue to give Israel 3 billion of our
hard-earned tax dollars every year instead of spending
those billions on our own needy. Many Americans wonder
why we give Israel billions more in bunker-busting
bombs, Apache attack helicopters armed with TOW
missiles, and other such advanced weapons. Many
Americans wonder why we always thwart UN resolutions
against Israel’s actions even when those actions
unambiguously violate international law. In short,
many Americans wonder why the U.S. and Israel are such
inseparably good friends.
Why? Because the
U.S. and Israel have so much in common. Who in the
U.S. doesn’t love knishes or latkes? The U.S. and
Israel are two peas in a pod.
Both nations
worship the AIPAC (America Israel Public Affairs
Committee), which functions as a heavenly messenger
between two very good friends. Israel tells the AIPAC
exactly what it wants and the AIPAC tells members of
Congress to grant it unquestioned (if they’d like to
keep their jobs).
Both nations
obviously share the same deep moral values. For
example, both agree on the moral way to take out a
terrorist cleric in a wheelchair (TOW missile launched
from an Apache helicopter, duh!). It wouldn’t be right
to walk up and shoot a cripple in the head (sincere
apologies to those within 50 feet of the wheelchair).
Both nations
demonize “terrorists” who use suicide bombers (not
just to kill, but to terrorize). Sure, the U.S.
and Israel often recklessly kill innocent people (hey,
shit happens), but they don’t stoop to terror
(apparently being stalked by Apache helicopters or
Predator drones that can blow you away any second,
before you can even detect them, has a soothing effect
on one’s mind).
But the most
significant thing the U.S. and Israel have in common
(what binds them like brothers) is the way both
nations were created. The U.S. and Israel followed a
strikingly similar path in establishing their
respective nations.
A little history
The major
problem establishing both the U.S. and Israel as
nations was what to do with the indigenous people. So
it was only natural for Israel to go to its new
friend, the U.S., and ask, “How did you handle your
indigenous people? Since we share the same deep moral
values, we want to treat our indigenous people the
same way.” Realizing they had so much in common, the
two nations became fast friends.
The first thing
needed to establish a nation is land. Unfortunately
for both the U. S. and Israel, the land they needed
was already occupied by people who had lived on and
worked that land for centuries. But fortunately for
both emerging nations, neither the Native Americans
nor the Palestinians were particularly well armed.
At first, both
the U.S. and Israel tried to politely reason with
their respective indigenous people. Both nations said
something like, “Yes, you’ve worked this land for many
centuries and consider it your home, but could you
please pack up your shit and move someplace else
because we need your land.” How much more polite and
reasonable can a request be?
In both cases,
the indigenous people were clearly informed that God
had given us their land. You’d think any reasonable
Palestinian would say, “Oh, God gave you this
land, why didn’t you say so, just let me take a last
look at the fields I’ve worked all my life, and at the
olive groves my great, great grandfather planted, and
I’m out of here.”
But instead
(just like the stubborn Native Americans) the
Palestinians got all pissy and indignant (just because
Israel was blatantly stealing their land using
military force). Clearly, some ethnic groups are just
a little too sensitive. Just like the stubborn
Native Americans, many Palestinians had the chutzpah
to actually resist being violently thrown off their
land. Amazing! Reasoning with such people is obviously
futile.
The U.S. then
suggested Israel might bring the Palestinians to their
senses by massacring a few of their villages (this
tactic had often proved a convincing argument for
Native Americans stubbornly occupying U.S. land).
Unfortunately, many Palestinians still refused to
leave (and those who did leave hold a grudge to this
day). Amazing! Reasoning with such people is obviously
futile.
Both the U.S.
and Israel eventually forced hundreds of thousands of
indigenous people off land they’d occupied for
centuries. Both nations conceded “sovereign”
territories for the displaced natives, but almost
immediately began violently stealing that land too.
Both nations
encouraged illegal settlements on these “sovereign”
territories, inexorably forcing many indigenous people
to struggle in squalor on worthless, arid land. Those
who dared to resist were labeled “savages” by the U.S.
and “terrorists” by Israel (of course, exterminating
“savages” and “terrorists” is perfectly moral).
Why are the U.S.
and Israel such good friends? Obviously the U.S. and
Israel share the same deep moral values. What better
basis for a close friendship than sharing the same
deep moral values?
Carmen Yarrusso
lives on a river in a small town in New Hampshire and
often writes about uncomfortable truths. Comments 💬 التعليقات |