What Are The Rights Of The Husband And What Are The Rights Of The Wife?
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Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
What are a wife's rights on her
husband according the Quran and Sunnah? or what are a
husbands duties to his wife and viceversa?
Praise be to Allaah.
Islam has enjoined upon the husband duties towards his
wife, and vice versa, and among these duties are some
which are shared by both husband and wife.
We will mention – by the help of Allaah – some of the
texts of the Qur'aan and Sunnah which have to do with
the duties of the spouses towards one another, quoting
also from the commentaries and views of the scholars.
Firstly:
The rights of the wife which are hers alone:
The wife has financial rights over her husband, which
are the mahr (dowry), spending and accommodation.
And she has non-financial rights, such as fair
division between co-wives, being treated in a decent
and reasonable manner, and not being treated in a
harmful way by her husband.
1. Financial rights
(a) The mahr (dowry). This is the money to which the
wife is entitled from her husband when the marriage
contract is completed or when the marriage is
consummated. It is a right which the man is obliged to
pay to the woman. Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr
(obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his
wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart" [al-Nisaa'
4:4]
The prescription of the mahr demonstrates the
seriousness and importance of the marriage-contract,
and is a token of respect and honour to the woman.
The mahr is not a condition or essential part of the
marriage-contract, according to the majority of
fuqahaa'; rather it is one of the consequences of the
contract. If the marriage-contract is done without any
mention of the mahr, it is still valid, according to
the consensus of the majority, because Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"There is no sin on you, if you divorce women while
yet you have not touched (had sexual relation with)
them, nor appointed unto them their Mahr (bridal-money
given by the husband to his wife at the time of
marriage)" [al-Baqarah 2:236]
The fact that divorce is permitted before consummation
of the marriage or before stipulating the mahr
indicates that it is permissible not to stipulate the
mahr in the marriage-contract.
If the mahr is stipulated, it becomes obligatory upon
the husband; if it is not stipulated, then he must
give the mahr that is given to women of similar status
to his wife.
(b) Spending. The scholars of Islam are agreed that it
is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on
the condition that the wife make herself available to
her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is
not entitled to that spending.
The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is
that the woman is available only to her husband,
because of the marriage contract, and she is not
allowed to leave the marital home except with his
permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for
her, and this is in return for her making herself
available to him for his pleasure.
What is meant by spending is providing what the wife
needs of food and accommodation. She has the right to
these things even if she is rich, because Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"but the father of the child shall bear the cost of
the mother's food and clothing on a reasonable basis"
[al-Baqarah 2:233]
"Let the rich man spend according to his means; and
the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend
according to what Allaah has given him" [al-Talaaq
65:7]
From the Sunnah:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) said to Hind bint ‘Utbah – the wife of Abu
Sufyaan – who had complained that he did not spend on
her: "Take what is sufficient for you and your
children, on a reasonable basis."
It was narrated that ‘Aa'ishah said: "Hind bint
‘Utbah, the wife of Abu Sufyaan, entered upon the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) and said, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, Abu
Sufyaan is a stingy man who does not spend enough on
me and my children, except for what I take from his
wealth without his knowledge. Is there any sin on me
for doing that?' The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Take from his
wealth on a reasonable basis, only what is sufficient
for you and your children.'" (Narrated by al-Bukhaari,
5049; Muslim, 1714)
It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said in his Farewell Sermon:
"Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken
them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with
them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah.
You too have rights over them, and that they should
not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let
them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they
do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their
rights upon you are that you should provide them with
food and clothing in a fitting manner" (Narrated by
Muslim, 1218)
(c) Accommodation. This is also one of the wife's
rights, which means that her husband should prepare
for her accommodation according to his means and
ability. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"Lodge them (the divorced women) where you dwell,
according to your means" [al-Talaaq 65:6]
2. Non-financial rights
(i) Fair treatment of co-wives. One of the rights that
a wife has over her husband is that she and her
co-wives should be treated equally, if the husband has
other wives, with regard to nights spent with them,
spending and clothing.
(ii) Kind treatment. The husband must have a good
attitude towards his wife and be kind to her, and
offer her everything that may soften her heart towards
him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"and live with them honourably" [al-Nisaa' 4:19]
"And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as
regards living expenses) similar (to those of their
husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect)
to what is reasonable" [al-Baqarah 2:228]
From the Sunnah:
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: "The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘Be
kind to women.'"(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3153;
Muslim, 1468).
There follow examples of the kind treatment of the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
towards his wives – for he is the best example:
1. It was narrated from Zaynab bint Abi Salamah that
Umm Salamah said: "I got my menses when I was lying
with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) under a single woollen sheet. I slipped away
and put on the clothes I usually wore for
menstruation. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to me, ‘Have you
got your menses?' I said, ‘Yes.' Then he called me and
made me lie with him under the same sheet."
She said: And she told me that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to kiss her when
he was fasting, and the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him) and I used to do ghusl to
cleanse ourselves from janaabah from one
vessel.(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 316; Muslim, 296)
2. It was narrated that ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr said: "
‘Aa'ishah said: ‘By Allaah, I saw the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
standing at the door of my apartment when the
Abyssinians were playing with their spears in the
Mosque of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings
of Allaah be upon him). He covered me with his cloak
so that I could watch their games, then he stood there
for my sake until I was the one who had had enough. So
you should appreciate the fact that young girls like
to have fun.'" (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 443; Muslim,
892)
3. It was narrated from ‘Aa'ishah the Mother of the
Believers (may Allaah be pleased with her) that the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) used to pray sitting down; he would recite
Qur'aan when he was sitting down, then when there were
thirty or forty aayahs left, he would stand up and
recite them standing up. Then he did rukoo', then
sujood; then he would do likewise in the second rak'ah.
When he had finished his prayer, he would look, and if
I was awake he would talk with me, and if I was asleep
he would lie down.
(Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1068)
(c) Not harming one's wife.
This is one of the basic principles of Islam. Because
harming others is haraam in the case of strangers, it
is even more so in the case of harming one's wife.
It was narrated from ‘Ubaadah ibn al-Saamit that the
Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be
upon him) ruled, "There should be no harming nor
reciprocating harm." (Narrated by Ibn Maajah,, 2340)
This hadeeth was classed as saheeh by Imaam Ahmad, al-Haakim,
Ibn al-Salaah and others. See Khalaasat al-Badr al-Muneer,
2/438.
Among the things to which the Lawgiver drew attention
in this matter is the prohibition of hitting or
beating in a severe manner.
It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
said in his Farewell Sermon:
"Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken
them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with
them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah.
You too have rights over them, and that they should
not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let
them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they
do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their
rights upon you are that you should provide them with
food and clothing in a fitting manner" (Narrated by
Muslim, 1218)
Secondly:
The husband's rights over his wife.
The rights of the husband over his wife are among the
greatest rights; indeed his rights over her are
greater than her rights over him, because Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as
regards living expenses) similar (to those of their
husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect)
to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of
responsibility) over them [al-Baqarah 2:228]
al-Jassaas said: Allaah tells us in this aayah that
each of the spouses has rights over the other, and
that the husband has one particular right over his
wife which she does not have over him.
Ibn al-‘Arabi said: this text states that he has some
preference over her with regard to rights and duties
of marriage.
These rights include:
(a) The obligation of obedience. Allaah has made the
man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman
by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just
as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of
the physical and mental faculties that Allaah has
given only to men and the financial obligations that
He has enjoined upon them. Allaah says (interpretation
of the meaning):
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women,
because Allaah has made one of them to excel the
other, and because they spend (to support them) from
their means" [al-Nisaa' 4:34]
‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas:
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women"
means, they are in charge of them, i.e., she should
obey him in matters of obedience that Allaah has
enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family
well and taking care of his wealth. This was the view
of Muqaatil, al-Saddi and al-Dahhaak.(Tafseer Ibn
Katheer, 1/492)
(b) Making herself available to her husband. One of
the rights that the husband has over his wife is that
he should be able to enjoy her (physically). If he
marries a woman and she is able to have intercourse,
she is obliged to submit herself to him according to
the contract, if he asks her. That is after he gives
her the immediate mahr, and gives her some time – two
or three days, if she asks for that – to sort herself
out, because that is something that she needs, and
because that is not too long and is customary.
If a wife refuses to respond to her husband's request
for intercourse, she has done something haraam and has
committed a major sin, unless she has a valid shar'i
excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness,
etc.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be
pleased with him) said: "The Messenger of Allaah
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
‘When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses,
and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will
curse her until morning.'" (Narrated by al-Bukhaari,
3065; Muslim, 1436)
(c) Not admitting anyone whom the husband dislikes.
One of the rights that the husband has over his wife
is that she should not permit anyone whom he dislikes
to enter his house.
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be
pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "It is not
permitted for a woman to fast when her husband is
present without his permission, or to admit anyone
into his house without his permission. And whatever
she spends (in charity) of his wealth without his
consent, …." (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4899; Muslim,
1026)
It was narrated from Sulaymaan ibn ‘Amr ibn al-Ahwas:
my father told me that he was present at the Farewell
Pilgrimage (Hujjat al-Wadaa') with the Messenger of
Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He
[the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him)] praised and glorified Allaah, then he preached a
sermon and said: "Treat women kindly, for they are
prisoners and you have no other power over them than
that, if they are guilty of open lewdness, then refuse
to share their beds, and hit them, but not severely.
But if they return to obedience, (then) do not seek
means (of annoyance) against them. You have rights
over your women and your women have rights over you.
Your rights over your women are that they should not
let anyone whom you dislike sit on your bed and they
should not let anyone whom you dislike enter your
house. Their rights over you are that you should feed
and clothe them well."
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1163 – he said this is a
saheeh hasan hadeeth. Also narrated by Ibn Maajah,
1851)
It was narrated that Jaabir said: [the Prophet] (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken
them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with
them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah.
You too have rights over them, and that they should
not allow anyone to sit on your bed [i.e., not let
them into the house] whom you do not like. But if they
do that, you can chastise them but not severely. Their
rights upon you are that you should provide them with
food and clothing in a fitting manner" (Narrated by
Muslim, 1218)
(d) Not going out of the house except with the
husband's permission. One of the rights of the husband
over his wife is that she should not go out of the
house except with his permission.
The Shaafa'is and Hanbalis said: she does not have the
right to visit (even) her sick father except with the
permission of her husband, and he has the right to
prevent her from doing that… because obedience to the
husband is obligatory, and it is not permitted to
neglect an obligatory action for something that is not
obligatory.
(e) Discipline. The husband has the right to
discipline his wife if she disobeys him in something
good, not if she disobeys him in something sinful,
because Allaah has enjoined disciplining women by
forsaking them in bed and by hitting them, when they
do not obey.
The Hanafis mentioned four situations in which a
husband is permitted to discipline his wife by hitting
her. These are: not adorning herself when he wants her
to; not responding when he calls her to bed and she is
taahirah (pure, i.e., not menstruating); not praying;
and going out of the house without his permission.
The evidence that it is permissible to discipline
one's wife includes the aayahs (interpretation of the
meaning):
"As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct,
admonish them (first), (next) refuse to share their
beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful)"
[al-Nisaa' 4:34]
"O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your
families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and
stones" [al-Tahreem 66:6]
Ibn Katheer said:
Qutaadah said: you should command them to obey Allaah,
and forbid them to disobey Allaah; you should be in
charge of them in accordance with the command of
Allaah, and instruct them to follow the commands of
Allaah, and help them to do so. If you see any act of
disobedience towards Allaah, then stop them from doing
it and rebuke them for that.
This was also the view of al-Dahhaak and Muqaatil:
that the duty of the Muslim is to teach his family,
including his relatives and his slaves, that which
Allaah has enjoined upon them and that which He has
forbidden them. (Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 4/392)
(f) The wife serving her husband. There is a great
deal of evidence (daleel) for this, some of which has
been mentioned above.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah said:
She is obliged to serve her husband according to what
is reasonable among people of similar standing. That
varies according to circumstances: the way in which a
Bedouin woman serves (her husband) will not be like
the way of a town-dweller, and the way of a strong
woman will not be like the way of a weak woman. (al-Fataawa
al-Kubraa, 4/561)
(g) Submitting herself to him. Once the conditions of
the marriage-contract have been fulfilled and it is
valid, then the woman is obliged to submit herself to
her husband and allow him to enjoy her (physically),
because once the contract is completed, he is allowed
in return to enjoy her, and the wife is entitled to
the compensation which is the mahr.
(h) The wife should treat her husband in a good
manner, because Allaah says (interpretation of the
meaning):
"And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as
regards living expenses) similar (to those of their
husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect)
to what is reasonable" [al-Baqarah 2:228]
Al-Qurtubi said:
It was also narrated from him – i.e., Ibn ‘Abbaas –
that this means: they have the right to good
companionship and kind and reasonable treatment from
their husbands just as they are obliged to obey the
commands of their husbands.
And it was said that they have the right that their
husbands should not harm them, and their husbands have
a similar right over them. This was the view of al-Tabari.
Ibn Zayd said: You should fear Allaah concerning them
just as they should fear Allaah concerning you.
The meanings are similar, and the aayah includes all
of that in the rights and duties of marriage.(Tafseer
al-Qurtubi, 3/123-124)
And Allaah knows best.
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
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