Why Life Is Like A Football Field: About The CIA And The ACA :: EsinIslam The Muslim World Portal For Islamic News And Opinions

Why Life Is Like A Football Field: About The CIA And The ACA

24 December 2013

By Jane Stillwater

While watching football games on TV, we see players charge into danger, get their bodies beaten all to hell by opponents, injure their knees, walk away with "shaken baby syndrome" and sometimes even break a few bones -- yet despite all this mayhem, players always seem to be having a whole bunch of fun at the same time.

And life too is like that -- or at least it could be. Life always throws all kinds of obstacles in our paths. "Bad things happen." You can always expect them like clockwork. That's just the way life is. And you can then fold under the weight of it all -- or you can look at the future with undisguised glee, with the same attitude as football players. Charge ahead. Grin. Enjoy the game!

Life is a contact sport, guys. Let's suit up.

PS: The current challenge that life is handing me right now is how to deal with the pain of an abscessed tooth. You can't just go out and get your teeth fixed on Medi-Cal any more. Plus even finding someone to pull it out for less than a small fortune is a Herculean task. What to do? FaceBook to the rescue! Here's some examples of the good advice I've received from Team FaceBook:

"Put salt on it."

"Soak it in whiskey."

"Use Theodent chocolate toothpaste. It's better than fluoride."

"Go to Highland Hospital or the UCSF school of dentistry. They will pull it for cheap."

"Do one of those dental-tourism thingies." Sorry, no use. At this point in time, I can't afford to do one of those.

But this suggestion is my favorite: "Tie a string to a door."

In any case, here's me, facing the future squarely, charging boldly down the field. A trip to the UCSF School of Dentistry revealed that a former root canal on my tooth had been done wrong, that the tooth was now unsalvageable and that I could gladly pay them $15 Tuesday for an extraction appointment today. "Score!"

But then a trip to San Francisco's beautiful old Ferry Building on the way home helped a lot to distract me from thoughts of the coming ordeal. And, of course, images of the Tooth Fairy possibly leaving enough money under my pillow to pay for an implant -- that also helped.

And now I'm all getting ready for life's next challenging scrimmage -- because you can always guarantee that it won't ever be long before the next one comes along.

PPS: And speaking of scrimmages, it looks like we are all going to be having Big Fun dealing with the next huge challenge life is throwing our way -- trying to stop the human race from going belly-up in the near future due to climate change. According to journalist Tim Donovan, a climate-change apocalypse is already on its way here.

"Last week," says Donovan, "I argued that it's wholly unrealistic to assume humanity will undertake the massive, world-changing, economy-disrupting policy solutions needed for us to even stand a chance of long-term survival. Given that our local political and economic systems are as fragile, stalled and polarized as they've been in most of American history, these predictions only seem more dire, and the problem only more intractable."

I have two thoughts on this terrible situation. First, a good apocalypse will surely take my mind off my poor abscessed tooth! And it might even take the GOP's mind off of Benghazi and ObamaCare too. Hey, it could happen. Rove and Eric Canter and the Koch brothers will finally stop fretting about the CIA and the ACA -- because they will be dead like the rest of us! Sorry, guys, but your flashy new bunkers and greedy bank vaults full of moola won't save you either.

And, second, in order to save the world from those evil corporatist Nazi bastards during WWII, we Americans mobilized everything we had, even down to planting victory gardens in our smallest back yards. And now we need to do that exact same kind of extreme mobilization again today -- in order to save the world from itself!

PPPS: I myself have never particularly liked football -- until the other day, when I met Colin Kaepernick. What a nice guy. Now all I gotta say is, "Go Niners!" Or at least until they sell out and move down to Santa Clara. And "Go Raiders" too -- for as long as they stay in Oakland where they belong.

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