For How Long Does A Father Have To Spend On His Child?
Islamic Rulings -
Living Shariah Verdicts
Islamic Questions & Answers
My
sister's son came to live with me after living with
his father, and I agreed to that on condition that he
send me a monthly sum of 500 riyals. After a while he
stopped sending the money and claimed that his son was
not doing anything good for him because he was so far
away from him, and that we should meet all his needs
of food, drink, clothing, marriage, a car and so on.
His father refused to send his son's medical file for
him to receive treatment at the expense of the company
for which he works. Do we have the right, according to
sharee'ah, to demand that he spend on his son who is
now 16 years old and is studying in high school?
Praise be to Allaah.
A man is
obliged to spend on his parents and children if they
are in need and are poor.
Al-Khuraqi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
A man is obliged to spend on his parents and on his
children – male and female – if they are poor and he
has enough to spend on them.
Ibn Qudaamah said:
The basic principle is that a man is obliged to spend
on his parents and children, according to the Qur'aan
and Sunnah and scholarly consensus.
With regard to the Qur'aanic evidence, Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"Then if they give suck to the children for you, give
them their due payment"
[al-Talaaq 65:6]
So the payment for breastfeeding the child is
incumbent upon the father.
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"but the father of the child shall bear the cost of
the mother's food and clothing on a reasonable basis"
[al-Baqarah 2:233]
And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
"And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but
Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents"
[al-Isra' 17:23]
Being dutiful includes spending on them if they are in
need.
Evidence from the Sunnah includes the words of the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):
"Take what is sufficient for you and your child, on a
reasonable basis." Agreed upon.
'Aa'ishah narrated that the Prophet (peace and
blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The best of
what a man consumes is what he earns, and his children
are part of his earnings." Narrated by Abu Dawood,
3528; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa' al-Ghaleel.
With regard to scholarly consensus:
Ibn al-Mundhir said: The scholars are unanimously
agreed that spending on poor parents who have no
income and no wealth is an obligation upon the son's
wealth. All of the scholars from whom we acquired
knowledge are agreed that a man is obliged to spend on
his children who have no wealth.
Al-Mughni, 8/169, 170
This spending which is a duty of the father is subject
to certain conditions: the son should be in need of
that money and be unable to earn himself either
because he is too young or he is sick, etc., and the
father should be able to afford it.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said:
For spending to be obligatory three conditions must be
met:
1 – they should be poor, with no wealth or income
which makes them independent of means and able to do
without others spending on them. If they have enough
wealth or income to be independent of means, then
there is no obligation to spend on them, because
spending is for help, and the one who is independent
of means does not need any help.
2 – The one who is obliged to spend on them should
have enough to spend on them, in addition to what he
needs to spend on himself, either from his wealth or
his income. If a person does not have any surplus,
then he is not obliged to spend on them, because
Jaabir narrated that the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "If one of
you is poor, let him start with himself; if he has any
surplus wealth let him spend on his dependents, and if
there is anything left after that let him spend on his
relatives." According to another version: "Start with
yourself then with your dependents." A saheeh hadeeth.
And Abu Hurayrah narrated that a man came to the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)
and said: "O Messenger of Allaah, I have a dinar." He
said: "Spend it on yourself." He said: "I have
another." He said: "Spend it on your child." He said:
"I have another." He said: "Spend it on your wife." He
said: "I have another." He said: "Spend it on your
servant." I said: "I have another." He said, "You know
best (on whom to spend it)." Narrated by Abu Dawood,
1691. Shaykh al-Albaani said: It is hasan in Sunan Abi
Dawood.
Because this is a kind of help, it is not obligatory
for one who is in need, as is also the case with
zakaah.
3 – The who is spending should be an heir of the one
on whom he is spending, because Allaah says
(interpretation of the meaning):
"And on the (father's) heir is incumbent the like of
that (which was incumbent on the father)"
[al-Baqarah 2:233]
because the heirs are closely related, so the heir is
more entitled to the money of the one from whom he
would inherit than anyone else is, so the obligation
of spending should apply to him in exclusion of all
others.
Al-Mughni, 8/168, 169
So the father should spend on his son's needs until he
becomes independent of means. The scholars (may Allaah
have mercy on them) have stated that among the things
on which a father is obliged to spend for his son is
the expense of marriage if he needs to get married.
Ibn Qudaamah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:
Our companions said: The father must keep his son
chaste if he is obliged to spend on him and if he
needs help to remain chaste (by getting married). This
is the view of some of the companions of al-Shaafa'i.
The son's rights over his father come to an end when
he becomes independent of means. When he grows up and
starts to earn a living for himself, and is
independent of means because of that earning, then his
right of having his father spend on him comes to an
end. But so long as he is still young, or he is grown
up but is not yet independent of means and is unable
to earn a living, then it remains his father's duty to
spend on him until he becomes independent of means.
This is an obligation dictated by their close ties of
kinship.
Al-Muntaqa min Fataawa Shaykh al-Fawzaan, 3/240
In conclusion: The father has to fear Allaah with
regard to those who have been entrusted to his care.
If he is able to spend on his son's education, medical
care and other needs, then it is not permissible for
him to fall short with regard to that.
Our advice to you is that before you take this matter
to court, you should ask good and righteous people to
intervene and advise and exhort the father, and seek
to bring about a reconciliation between him and his
son. If he agrees to spend on his son willingly
without getting the courts involved, that is better
for the father's peace of mind and will make him
better disposed towards his son.
Our advice to the son is to look for work which will
make him independent of means so that he will not need
to rely on his father – especially since the son has
reached the age of manhood. He should try to combine
work and study, which is a simple matter that has been
done by many before him, for whoever seeks to become
independent of means, Allaah will help him.
If he is unable to do that and the father persists in
his attitude, then in that case there is nothing wrong
with referring the matter to a sharee'ah judge (qaadi)
to make the father do what he is obliged to do
according to sharee'ah. But the more you are able to
keep the matter away from courts and legal disputes,
the better.
Add Comments