I begin with the
name of Allah, the Most Compassionate, Most Merciful
One night, not
so long ago, I began to question my belief in the
purity of the Bible. Because of this, I felt
depressed. I knew that God was there, and I knew that
He had sent down His religion to man, but I could not
find it. Why was it so hard to find? I prayed and
asked God, Why would You send down a scripture (the
Bible) and allow for there to be flaws in it? My Lord
had been answering my question even before I asked.
About two years
before this point, when I was sixteen, I had a
religious yearning. It was like a thirst that I could
not quench. I thought I was satisfied with my
religion of Mormonism. But the truth was I wasn't
satisfied! It was as if God was calling me. I
decided to put the Scriptures under close
examination. I put aside my Book of Mormon, and
picked up the Bible. I studied it from a viewpoint
outside of what my religion taught me, since my
religion taught me how to interpret the Bible in a
very specific and "official" way. Instead, I looked
at it not as one who had no religion, but as one who
wanted to follow the Scriptures to the fullest.
As I studied, I
noticed how Christ taught only to the Jews. He would
not preach to anyone except the children of Israel.
Studying his life closely, I noticed that this man did
not follow any religion that actually exists today.
He was a follower of God's law as it was sent to the
Jews in the past. Right there, my religion was
questionable. I also read in the Book of Acts that
the apostles would not eat pork or any other foods
that were earlier prohibited by God. In the other
books, the followers of Christ, may the mercy and
blessings of God be upon him, would follow all of the
laws and traditions which God had sent down in the
past. Neither my religion nor any other Christians
that I knew followed this example.
Studying it even
closer, I saw that all Christian churches relied upon
the teachings of Paul, whose letters actually
contradicted many of the words of Jesus. Now I knew
that my religion was definitely in question.
I believed in
one God, I believed in Jesus, I believed in Moses, I
believed in Noah, and I believed in all of the other
prophets who preached the worship of one God. But
what other Books existed to replace the Bible? I
believed that there were none.
remembered what an old Muslim friend told me. He said
that Muslims believe in the Qur'an, in only One God,
and in all the messengers of God, which includes all
of the Christian and Jewish prophets. At that time, I
had a book that explained Islam at a very basic
level. It was a great source for me. I began to
understand Islam much more, and found it somewhat
After this, I
went on the Internet to look up things about Islam. I
found some sites with arguments against Christian
beliefs, and I studied their arguments closely. They
explained how most Christians do not follow their
Scriptures as closely as they should. In truth, the
Muslim sites were confirming what I already knew.
My interest in
Islam was soaring. I decided to ask my neighbor to
borrow his Qur'an. I read it in a few weeks. I loved
it – I believed every word it said. However, I could
not believe that the crucifixion was a false story. I
was so brainwashed by the Bible that I could not
accept the truth at the time.
So, when the
night came in which I finally lost my trust in the
Bible's purity and incorruptibility, I decided to look
into Islam again. In my heart during those two years,
I knew that the truth lay in Islam, but I simply could
not allow myself to accept it. There were personal
reasons for my stubbornness – reasons planted in my
heart by Satan. That night I went online to begin my
new spiritual search. I went to many online sites,
and I ordered information from many of them. I read
some interesting facts about the Qur'an, and I said to
myself, this might be the way that God has led me.
But it was still too soon to tell.
Just before I
logged off, I ordered more information about Islam. A
few days later, a representative of one of the sites I
went to sent me an email. He thanked me for my
interest in Islam, and told me that I could write to
him at anytime if I had any questions concerning
Thus, we began a
dialogue online. He gave me a lot of information
about Islam. I asked him a deep question: How do
Muslims actually prove to Christians that the
crucifixion did not happen? He wanted to meet up with
me to discuss it, and I agreed. We met up in a
neighborhood pizza parlor. Our discussion left me in
awe. He showed me verses of the Bible that I had
always overlooked. He left me with a Qur'an and a
lecture on CD. As soon as I went home, I knew that
this was God's religion, but I did not want to rush
into it. Instead, I studied it more.
All my studies
led me to the same conclusion: Islam was the path of
God. Still, I was afraid to convert. Converting is a
life decision, and I was not willing to take that
One day, the
brother I met wanted to take me to the Friday prayer
(the Juma'a prayer). The night before, Satan
struck with all his force. He knew that I was going
to say the Shahada (the public declaration that
there is no deity but God, and that Muhammad is His
Messenger), and thereby convert to Islam. All night,
he whispered things in my heart, trying to show me
that Islam was not the way to go. In fact, so intense
were his promptings that I slept for no more than an
hour that night. I kept on praying to God, reading
the Qur'an, and praying some more. Satan put so many
thoughts in my head that even I believed that I was
not going to convert.
About an hour
after I had fallen to sleep, my mother woke me up
saying that I had to watch the kids until she came
back from the hospital. My little brother's toe was
hurting him and my mother believed that it was
broken. She needed me to stay home with the other
kids so she could take him to the doctor. She did not
expect to be back until six in the evening.
When I heard
this, I knew that I was not going to the Juma'a
prayer service. I had to stay home with the kids at
the time that it started. The brother called me up.
He asked if I was ready, and I told him the story. He
explained that he felt especially bad because this
Friday was his only Friday in which he was free to
bring me there. He even told me that I could bring
the kids with me. I figured that they would feel
awkward there, and so I said no. I told him to call
me after half an hour. Maybe I would have a solution
by then, but deep inside I did not expect to go.
I talked to my
mother and asked her if it was possible for me to go.
She found some extra money for the kids to go with
her, thus letting me off the hook. I thank God for
this little miracle, for this event changed my life.
The Muslim brother later told me that he had relied on
God to lead me to the Mosque that day. When he heard
that I was not going to come, he prayed to God knowing
that I did not have a choice in the matter. If I was
to become Muslim, it was God Who was going to make me
a Muslim. If I was not going to become a Muslim that
was again God's will.
When the brother
heard that I was able to come, he was very happy. He
picked me up shortly after that. On the way there, I
began to feel sick. I felt nauseous, weak, dizzy, as
if I was going to collapse. It was Satan doing this
to me. He was desperate to get me away from the
Mosque and he made me think that I was feeling too
sick to go. In fact, these were just minor side
effects from having too little sleep the night before.
In the car on
our way to the Mosque, I told the brother that I was
thinking about changing my mind about taking
Shahada. He told me that the choice was mine, but
to beware of the doubts that Satan puts into one's
head. For a while, we talked in the car about Satan
whispering into people's hearts, and how Satan tries
to drag someone from the Light. He explained to me
that only Muslims and non-Muslims who are on their way
to becoming Muslim are heavily affected by Satan. He
said that non-Muslims are generally left alone,
because Satan does not need to distract them from God,
since they are already far from Him. He explained
that last night, all the thoughts that flooded my head
were from Satan. Satan put so much doubt in my head in
that one night in order to pull me from the Light.
This was how desperate Satan was – he knew that I was
going to take Shahada the next day and was
trying anything to prevent this.
We went into the
Mosque, and the brother taught me how to make ablution
(wudhu-cleaning one's self before prayer).
After the ablution, I felt brand new, and my nausea
had left my body. I was not even thinking about the
sickness anymore, I just felt good to be in a place
where God is worshiped. We approached the director
and told him that I wanted to take the Shahada
that day after the service. He smiled and
congratulated me with a warm hug. Another brother who
overheard us did the same. He said, "God bless you,
and congratulations." These were beautiful people,
people of God. These were the kind of people I wanted
to be like.
service, the Imam amazingly gave his speech about
Satan's whisperings into the hearts of men in the
attempt to lead them away from the Light. It left me
in utter shock. The brother was talking to me about
this in the car, and by an amazing coincidence, the
Imam thought it was best that day to talk about
Satan's whispers. This, I believe, was God getting
His Message across to me, telling me to ignore Satan.
I could not wait to declare the Shahada, and
when the time came after the service, I rushed up to
declaring my Islam, I think that every Muslim brother
present that day came and hugged me. There were at
least a few hundred brothers present, so you can
imagine how many hugs I received. They congratulated
me and said, "God bless you, you made the right
Two forces were
at work that day: Satan and God. But God's force was
too powerful for me to resist, and so I submitted to
Him in Islam. The brother told me that the greatest
gift that God gives to us in this world is Islam.
This gift I shall keep for the rest of my life, God
willing (in sha' Allah). He also told me that he
never went to a Friday service where the Imam talked
purely about Satan's whispers. He said that the
subject was mentioned occasionally, but it almost
never actually made up an entire service.
I pray that my
story helps those who go through the same mental
struggle that I had with Satan. My experience is so
amazing to me that I cannot truly describe it in
words. I pray that those who read this will be able to
overcome Satan as I was able to that day.
May God guide you as he guided me.