A life of hate, crime and
violence changes to one of peace and faith. Part 1:
Early Life.
By Clinton Sipes
The
Beginning: Early Life Trials of Clinton Sipes
I grew up in a
dysfunctional family setting in the atmosphere of
alcoholism, physical and emotional abuse that came
from my father. Without a positive father figure, I
was basically developing antisocial behavior and an
inclination to violence.
I began to
imitate what I was being exposed to, this process of
imitation began unconsciously. It affected my
interaction with my older brother, classmates,
teachers and animals also. Nothing was exempt from
the sadistic outpouring of pent up anger and rage!
At the age of
13, I fell into association with similar children, but
because they weren't as driven as I was, I quickly
became bored with them. I began to hang out with the
young adult type who welcomed my willingness to
participate with no reservations in anything under the
title of alcohol, drugs, crime, violence and racism.
The period of reform school (adolescent jail) began,
and that environment also shaped me, refining crime
inclination to a full time skill. Violence and racism
were honed to razor sharpness...an environment of
negativity that fueled my growing rage and hatred of
authority, blacks, Jews and Asians. After 3 years of
this (reform period) I was released. I was a walking
grenade.
Searching for a
point of focus to release this rage I became
association with paramilitary racist group of young
adults. I participated in regular assaults on people
and engaged in various criminal activities. At 16, I
found myself incarcerated serving a 6 1/2 year
sentence in the California Youth Authority for
robbery, assault and weapons charges. Immediately I
feel in step with the gangs of "white supremacy" and
cultivated my rage and anger into pure "Hate" of all
people who were not "Anglo Saxon."
I began
correspondence with the KKK, and upon my release on
parole, I was a full fledged card carrying
hate-monger. For the next 3 to 4 years, my activities
were heavily involved in Klan cross-burnings, media
appearances, night raids of beatings, property
desecrations, etc. My parole was violated for
possession of weapons and suspicion of robberies.
Search for
Peace: Young Adult
This last
violation of parole, at the age of 20, the search for
peace began. I had so much rage and hatred inside me
for so many years, it was beginning to consume me from
the inside out. I lashed out at the prison staff in
hatred. I had anger and hate literature, graffiti,
drawings covering my cell walls and tattoos covering
half my upper body. I was not exploding, but
imploding!
In a haze of
anger and rage, I found myself stripped naked in
solitary confinement with not even a mattress. Only
me and a styrofoam cup. I began to review my past and
the negatives which brought me to this point of
reduction to the lowest terms.
While I was
there my daughter was born. I began to assess my
future. I began thinking of the many victims' lives I
had affected. I could see myself in prison for life
if this past were to continue into the future. I said
to myself, "Clint, you must make a choice between this
evil or a future good." It was clear to me there was
no future (of longevity) in this evil. My family -
mother, girlfriend, brothers - were afraid of me. I
had become alienated from them. I began searching for
a purity to purge the cancer of hate from inside me.
I wanted to be loved and to love in a pure sense. I
just didn't want to "Hate" anymore.
I moved to
Montana and was arrested for burglary. I was
sentenced and served 2 1/2 years of a 5-year sentence,
and was then released on parole, which I successfully
completed.
I became
involved with human rights groups and I started my own
human rights group, C.H.E.R.E. (Children Escaping
Racist Environments). My goal was to reach out to
children to help them escape the environmental
circumstances that had overwhelmed me once. I wanted
to give back where I was once the problem, but I was
still involved in crime. I took part in possession of
explosives and was arrested by the federal government
and sentenced to 35 months in federal prison.
The Search
for Truth
It began upon my
arrival to federal prison. An African American
offered to assist me in my cosmetic needs. He said he
was a Muslim, and Muslims are commanded to help those
in need. It struck my interest to check this Islamic
thing out. However, I was under the impression that
this was a religion exclusively for African
Americans. I was thinking, no way I can become a
Muslim, I'm white!
Still, I asked
this brother for some literature on Islam. I found
out about the universality of it, how it transcends
color, ethnicity and race. It sounded real and pure.
It began to appeal to me. This brother invited me to
Jumu'ah (Friday) service. I was given a Quran, and as
I read the translation, I felt the purity and truth of
it. There was no hocus-pocus, no spookism, no
mysticism, just plain, simple understanding of the
"Truth." When I heard the Adhan (the call to prayer)
I felt a closeness to God that penetrated my heart and
soul.
After some
research and study of the Quran, I discovered its
total infallibility, no contradictions in it.
There are
religions based on believing in certain sciences,
multiple deities, the religion of 3 gods in one. I
was a thinking man, and none of them made any logical
sense to me.
Here was Islam,
based on the belief in One God who created the
creation itself out of nothing, and the fact that this
book I was reading (Quran) had not one vowel or
language changed in over 1400 years was a miracle in
itself. Thus, I was sold on the oneness of God and
the unity of Islam.
Christianity has
and is still undergoing changes, in the Bible and in
the Christian doctrines, and cannot even begin to
claim originality of the Bible which is read and
taught out of today.
There is only
one God and one Religion, and religion is "
Submission" to the one God. This is the meaning of
Islam.
The
Metamorphosis: Clinton Sipes into Abdus Salam (Servant
of [the Source of] Peace)
As you have
read, the life of Clinton Sipes was one of hate, crime
and violence, the very things that bring about the
total destruction of a human being.
After years of
falsehood, half-truths, following others on the road,
and then, from within a place (prison) where more than
one million people are cast away, the same environment
that once honed my anger and hate to a razor sharpness
was now the place where Islam greeted me and proceeded
to change me into a "Servant of [the Source of]
Peace." Islam filled the spiritual void by teaching
me my beginning and end, has given contentment, a
peace, a serenity to me these words cannot adequately
describe. My purpose is clear, my direction is
straight.
Islam has,
through its truth, taught me humility and the true
worship of God. I had learned that from God we came
and to God we must return. God created all things
animate and inanimate, microscopic and macroscopic,
the finite and infinite. Nothing creates itself but
is created by God.
On the last day,
it will not matter if I was black or white, rich or
poor, powerful or weak in power, nor will it matter
about all mankind. Rather it will be about one's
deeds good and bad that an individual is personally
responsible for and will be punished and rewarded
accordingly. No one can die or be punished for my
sins or be rewarded for the good I may do but me. I
am responsible, I must answer when asked. I became
aware of this truth and I declared openly, "There is
no god but God and his last messenger was Prophet
Muhammad-Ibn-Abdullah-Al-Mustafa." Thus, in essence,
my life has returned to infancy where truth and purity
begin!
In closing, the
metamorphosis has now come full circle. I have found
"Truth" in God (all praises to Him, creator of
mankind, angel and jinn, all that exists in the
heavens and earth). God (Whom all praise is due) has
[many] names or attributes, one attribute is Salam
(peace).
The Creator,
Originator of the very existence of peace. There is
no peace but the Peace of God (Whom all praise is
due). I have found this Peace, I am now "Abdus Salam,"
the slave and servant of The Originator of the one
and only source of Peace...God, The Most High, Whom
all praise is due.