Diane Charles Breslin, Ex-Catholic, USA (part 1 to 3)
EsinIslam
Heralding New Muslims:
A Personal Account
Of Revert Muslim:
A strict Catholic loses faith after
reading the Bible, but her continued belief in God
leads her to explore other religions.
By Diane Charles Breslin
Diane
Charles Breslin, Ex-Catholic, USA (part 1 of 3)
When I am asked
how I became a Muslim I always reply that I always
felt myself to be a believer in the ONE AND ONLY, yet
I first realized what that meant when I heard about a
religion called Islam, and a book called Quran.
But let me first
start with a brief synopsis of my American
overwhelmingly traditional Irish Catholic background.
Catholic I
was Indeed
My dad left the
seminary after a three-year stint to train as a
missionary. He was the oldest of thirteen children,
all born and raised in the Boston area. Two of his
sisters became nuns, as was his aunt on his mother's
side. My dad's younger brother was also in the
seminary and quit after 9 years, just before taking
his final vows. My grandmother would wake at dawn to
dress and climb the hill to the local church for early
morning mass while the rest of the house was
sleeping. I remember her as being a very stern, kind,
fair, and strong woman, and rather deep - unusual for
those days. I'm certain she never heard mention of
Islam, and may God judge her as to the beliefs she
held in her heart. Many who never heard of Islam pray
to the One by instinct, although they have inherited
labels of various denominations from their ancestors.
I was enrolled
in a Catholic nursery school at the age of four and
spent the next 12 years of my life surrounded by heavy
doses of trinity indoctrination. Crosses were
everywhere, all day long - on the nuns themselves, on
the walls of the classroom, in church which we
attended almost daily, and in almost every room of my
house. Not to mention the statues and holy pictures -
everywhere you looked there was baby Jesus and his
mother Mary - sometimes happy, sometimes sad, yet
always classically white and Anglo featured. Various
and sundry angels and saints pictures would make their
appearances, depending on the holyday approaching.
I have vivid
memories picking lilacs and lilies of the valley from
our yard to make bouquets which I placed in the vase
at the base of the largest Mother Mary statue in the
upstairs hallway next to my bedroom. There I would
kneel and pray, enjoying the pleasant scent of the
freshly picked flowers and serenely contemplating on
how lovely was Mary's long flowing chestnut hair. I
can unequivocally state that I never once prayed TO
HER or felt that she had any powers to help me. The
same was true when I would hold my rosary beads at
night in bed. I repeated the ritual supplications of
the Our Father and the Hail Mary and the Glory be to
the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, all
the while looking upward and saying with my true
heart—I know its only You, one almighty You-I'm just
saying this stuff because it's all I ever learned.
On my twelfth
birthday, my mom gave me a Bible. As Catholics we
were not encouraged to read anything except our
Baltimore Catechism, sanctioned by the Vatican. Any
comparative introspection was denied and disparaged.
Yet I fervently read, seeking to know what I hoped
would be a story from and about my creator. I got
even more confused. This book was obviously the work
of men, convoluted and difficult to grasp. Yet, once
again, that's all that was available.
My prior
faithful church attendance dropped off in my mid
teens, as was the norm for my generation, and by the
time I reached my twenties, I had basically no formal
religion. I read a lot on Buddhism, Hinduism and even
tried out the local Baptist church for a few months.
They were not enough to hold my attention, the former
too exotic and the latter too provincial. Yet all
through the years of not formally practicing, a day
never passed when I didn't "talk to god" especially as
I fell asleep I would always say thanks for all my
blessings and seek help for any problems I was
experiencing. It was always the same certain ONE AND
ONLY whom I was addressing, sure He was listening and
confident of His love and care. No one ever taught me
anything about this; it was pure instinct.
Diane
Charles Breslin, Ex-Catholic, USA (part 2 of 3)
When I am asked
how I became a Muslim I always reply that I always
felt myself to be a believer in the ONE AND ONLY, yet
I first realized what that meant when I heard about a
religion called Islam, and a book called Quran.
But let me first
start with a brief synopsis of my American
overwhelmingly traditional Irish Catholic background.
Catholic I
was Indeed
My dad left the
seminary after a three-year stint to train as a
missionary. He was the oldest of thirteen children,
all born and raised in the Boston area. Two of his
sisters became nuns, as was his aunt on his mother's
side. My dad's younger brother was also in the
seminary and quit after 9 years, just before taking
his final vows. My grandmother would wake at dawn to
dress and climb the hill to the local church for early
morning mass while the rest of the house was
sleeping. I remember her as being a very stern, kind,
fair, and strong woman, and rather deep - unusual for
those days. I'm certain she never heard mention of
Islam, and may God judge her as to the beliefs she
held in her heart. Many who never heard of Islam pray
to the One by instinct, although they have inherited
labels of various denominations from their ancestors.
I was enrolled
in a Catholic nursery school at the age of four and
spent the next 12 years of my life surrounded by heavy
doses of trinity indoctrination. Crosses were
everywhere, all day long - on the nuns themselves, on
the walls of the classroom, in church which we
attended almost daily, and in almost every room of my
house. Not to mention the statues and holy pictures -
everywhere you looked there was baby Jesus and his
mother Mary - sometimes happy, sometimes sad, yet
always classically white and Anglo featured. Various
and sundry angels and saints pictures would make their
appearances, depending on the holyday approaching.
I have vivid
memories picking lilacs and lilies of the valley from
our yard to make bouquets which I placed in the vase
at the base of the largest Mother Mary statue in the
upstairs hallway next to my bedroom. There I would
kneel and pray, enjoying the pleasant scent of the
freshly picked flowers and serenely contemplating on
how lovely was Mary's long flowing chestnut hair. I
can unequivocally state that I never once prayed TO
HER or felt that she had any powers to help me. The
same was true when I would hold my rosary beads at
night in bed. I repeated the ritual supplications of
the Our Father and the Hail Mary and the Glory be to
the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit, all
the while looking upward and saying with my true
heart—I know its only You, one almighty You-I'm just
saying this stuff because it's all I ever learned.
On my twelfth
birthday, my mom gave me a Bible. As Catholics we
were not encouraged to read anything except our
Baltimore Catechism, sanctioned by the Vatican. Any
comparative introspection was denied and disparaged.
Yet I fervently read, seeking to know what I hoped
would be a story from and about my creator. I got
even more confused. This book was obviously the work
of men, convoluted and difficult to grasp. Yet, once
again, that's all that was available.
My prior
faithful church attendance dropped off in my mid
teens, as was the norm for my generation, and by the
time I reached my twenties, I had basically no formal
religion. I read a lot on Buddhism, Hinduism and even
tried out the local Baptist church for a few months.
They were not enough to hold my attention, the former
too exotic and the latter too provincial. Yet all
through the years of not formally practicing, a day
never passed when I didn't "talk to god" especially as
I fell asleep I would always say thanks for all my
blessings and seek help for any problems I was
experiencing. It was always the same certain ONE AND
ONLY whom I was addressing, sure He was listening and
confident of His love and care. No one ever taught me
anything about this; it was pure instinct.
Diane
Charles Breslin, Ex-Catholic, USA (part 2 of 3)
The Others
It was in my
preparation for my master's degree that I first heard
of the Quran. Up until then, as most Americans, I
knew only of "the Arabs" as mysterious, dark predators
out to plunder our civilization. Islam was never
mentioned – only the surly, dirty Arabs, camels and
tents in the desert. As a child in religion class, I
often wondered who were the other people? Jesus
walked in Caana and Galilee and Nazareth, but he had
blue eyes — who were the other people? I had a sense
that there was a missing link somewhere. In 1967
during the Arab-Israeli war, we all got our first
glimpse of the other people, and they were clearly
viewed by most as the enemy. But for me, I liked
them, and for no apparent reason. I cannot to this
day explain it, except to now realize that they were
my Muslim brothers.
I was about 35
when I read my first page of Quran. I opened it with
the intention of a casual browse to get acquainted
with the religion of the inhabitants of the region I
was majoring in for my Master's Degree. God caused
the book to fall open to Surat al-Mu'minun (The
Believers) verses 52-54:
"Verily, this
your nation is one nation and I am your Lord so keep
your duty to Me. But they broke up their command into
sects, each one rejoicing in its belief. So leave
them in their error until a time." (Quran 23:52-54)
From the first
reading, I knew that this was certain truth- clear and
forceful, revealing the essence of all humanity and
verifying all I had studied as a History major.
Humanity's pathetic rejection of the truth, their
unceasing vain competition to be special and their
neglectfulness of the purpose for their very existence
all set forward in a few words. Nation states,
nationalities, cultures, languages – all feeling
superior, when in fact, all these identities mask the
only reality which we ought to rejoice in sharing-
that is to serve one master, THE ONE Who created
everything and Who owns everything.
I Still Love
Jesus and Mary
As a child I
used to say the phrase "Holy Mary, mother of God, pray
for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death,
Amen," found in the prayer "Hail Mary". I now see how
much Mary has been maligned by the misrepresentation
of her as the mother of the godhead. It is quite
enough to view her as chosen above all women to bear
the great prophet Jesus by the Virgin Birth. My mom
would often defend her constant pleas for Mary's help
by explaining that she too was a mother and understood
a mother's sorrows. It would be far more useful for
my mom and all others to contemplate how the most pure
Mary was slandered by the Jews of her time and accused
of a most despicable sin, that of fornication. Mary
bore all of this, knowing that she would be vindicated
by the Almighty, and that she would be given the
strength to bear all of their calumnies.
This recognition
of Mary's faith and trust in God's mercy will allow
one to recognize her most exalted position among
women, and at the same time remove the slander of
calling her the mother of God, which is an even worse
accusation than that of the Jews of her time. As a
Muslim you may love Mary and Jesus, but to love God
more will gain you the Paradise, as He is the One
whose rules you must obey. He will judge you on a day
when no one else can help you. He created you, and
Jesus, and his blessed mother Mary, as He created
Muhammad. All died or will die – God never dies.
Jesus (`Isa in
Arabic) never once claimed to be the godhead. Rather,
he repeatedly referred to himself as being sent. As I
look back on the confusion I experienced in my youth,
its root lay in the church's claim that Jesus was more
than he himself admitted. The church fathers
formulated a doctrine to invent the concept of
Trinity. It is this confused rendering of the
original Torah and Injil [Gospel] (scriptures given to
Moses and Jesus) which is at the core of the issue of
Trinity.
In honest fact,
it is enough to simply state that Jesus was a prophet,
yes, a messenger who came with the word of the One Who
sent him. If we view Jesus, may the mercy and
blessings of God be upon him, in this correct light,
it's easy to then accept Muhammad, may the mercy and
blessings of God be upon him, as his younger brother
who came with the very same mission – to call all to
the worship of the Almighty ONE, Who created
everything and to whom we shall all return. It is of
no consequence whatsoever to debate their physical
features. Arab, Jew, Caucausian, blue or brown eyes,
long or short hair – all totally irrelevant as to
their importance as bearers of the message. Whenever
I think of Jesus now, after knowing about Islam, I
feel that connectedness which one feels in a happy
family – a family of believers. You see Jesus was a
"Muslim", one who submits to his Lord above.
The first of the
"Ten Commandments" state:
1. I am the
Lord thy God, thou shalt not have false gods before
me.
2. Thou shalt
not take the name of the Lord thy god in vain.
Anyone who knows
the correct meaning of "la ilaha ill-Allah" (there is
no god but God) will immediately recognize the
similarity in this testimony. Then we can really
start to bring together the real story of all the
prophets and put an end to the distortions.
"And they said
the Most Merciful has taken a son. Indeed you have
brought forth a terrible evil thing. Whereby the
heavens are almost torn, and the earth split asunder,
and the mountains fall in ruins." (Quran 19:88-90)
Diane
Charles Breslin, Ex-Catholic, USA (part 3 of 3)
My Journey
to Islam
It took three
full years of my searching and studying Quran before I
was ready to proclaim that I wanted to be a Muslim.
Of course I feared the changes in clothing and habits,
such as dating and drinking to which I had become
accustomed. Music and dancing were a big part of my
life, and bikinis and mini skirts were my claim to
fame. All the while I had no chance to encounter any
Muslims, as there were none in my area except a few
immigrants who could barely speak English an hour's
drive away at the only mosque in the state at that
time. When I would go to Friday Prayer to try and
check out what I was considering, I would receive
furtive glances as I was perhaps suspected of being a
spy as was the case, and still is, in most Islamic
gatherings. There was not a single Muslim American
available to help me and, as I said, all the immigrant
population were rather chilly to say the least.
In the midst of
this phase of my life, my dad died of cancer. I was
at his bedside and literally witnessed the angel of
death remove his soul. He was gripped by fear as
tears rolled down his cheeks. A life of luxury,
yachts, country clubs, expensive cars … for both him
and mom, all a result of interest income, and now it's
all over.
I felt a sudden
desire to enter Islam quickly, while there was still
time, and to change my ways and not to continue
blindly seeking what I had been raised to believe to
be the good life. Shortly thereafter I came to Egypt,
and involved a long slow journey through the miracle
of the Arabic language and the discovery of the clear
truth – God is One, the Everlasting Eternal; Who never
was born or gave birth and there is nothing at all
like Him.
It is also the
resulting equality between humans that attracted me
most to that religion. The Prophet Muhammad, may the
mercy and blessings of God be upon him, said that
people are like teeth of a comb – all equal, the best
being the most pious. In the Quran, we are told that
the best are the pious ones. Piety involves love of
and fear of God alone. Yet before you can really be
pious, you must learn who God is. And to know Him is
to love Him. I started learning Arabic to read the
word of Allah in Arabic as it was revealed.
Learning the
Quran has changed every facet of my life. I no longer
wish to have any earthly luxuries; neither cars nor
clothes nor trips can lure me into that web of vain
desires which I was so caught up in before. I do
enjoy a fairly good life of a believer; but as they
say… it is no longer embedded in the heart...only at
hand. I don't fear the loss of my former friends or
relatives – if God chooses to bring them close, then
so be it, but I know that God gives me exactly what I
need, no more – no less. I don't feel anxious or sad
anymore, nor do I feel regret at what has passed me
by, because I'm safe in the care of God - THE ONE AND
ONLY whom I always knew but didn't know His name.
A Prayer For
America
I pray to
Almighty God to allow each and every American the
opportunity to receive the message of the Oneness of
God in a simple, straightforward fashion… Americans
are, for the most part, grossly uninformed in regards
to correct Islamic theology. The stress is almost
always on politics, which focuses on the deeds of
men. It's high time we concentrated on the deeds of
the prophets who all came to lead us out of the
darkness and into the light. There is no doubt that
darkness is prevailing in the malaise affecting
America now. The light of truth will serve us all,
and whether or not one chooses to follow the Islamic
path, there is no doubt that the blocking of it or the
hindering of others from following it will surely lead
to further misery. I care very much for the healthy
future of my country, and I'm quite certain that
learning more about Islam will enhance the chances of
my hopes being fulfilled.