Growing up a Christian, Gerda has
firm belief in God and see His works throughout life,
but still is not satisfied, until she finds Islam.
By Gerda
I am from a
little Eastern European country called Lithuania where
Christianity is the dominant religion, and where a
baby in his first days in the world is made a
Christian. I‘ve never been an atheist, but I never
called myself a good Christian. It was the time when
I was going to the church every Sunday, not just for
prayer, but to help the priest and to sing in the
church choir that I had God in my heart the most, even
though I would ask my parents why they baptized me
without asking me if I would like to be a Christian or
not.
All my life, as
I remember, I couldn't be a good Christian, and I
couldn't understand the meaning of the Christian
religion. But I was looking for meaning. I would
read a lot of books about Christianity, while
continuously asking the priest for help. I could say
that I felt and I believed that "Somebody's" watching
over me, but I could not call myself Christian.
Life without God
Almighty's guidance was difficult, scary, and lonely
wherever I went. I was looking for God all the time,
and yet I felt that He was so close to me. I was
feeling God's help all the time with me; I felt like
He was talking to me. I saw how He was taking care of
me and letting me find the way of life that He had
already chosen for me. I was trying to understand a
lot of signs that he was sending me daily almost like
He was speaking to me.
I am the second
child in my family, and my mother's delivery pains
with me were much harder than with her first baby. I
was very lucky to survive the delivery, and I believe
God saved my life. After two really serious accidents
later in my life, which people said that nobody could
possibly survive after, I started to really appreciate
my life. I felt how fragile human life is and that
only God knows how long I will live.
God let me trust
Him every minute of my life and this helped me to
enjoy my life even when I was sick or feeling bad. I
know that God is giving us everything, wanting us to
appreciate Him, so we will understand that He is doing
it just for us.
I had a car
accident right after my graduation exams, and I was
told to stay in a bed for no less than six weeks. I
could only move my head and arms, but with God's help
I nonetheless finished my school and enrolled in
university while still lying in bed. Even my doctor
couldn't believe that I accomplished that much! Most
people would be screaming with pain or asking for a
pill to make them sleep. It couldn't just be luck -
it was a miracle from God for sure. After this, my
faith increased but "SomeOne" still kept me away from
church. I can now understand what was going on - for
me, church wasn't the way to God.
True
understanding of God, what I had been wanting for so
long and which would be my only way to real happiness
through the calmness of my soul, I found through my
husband. How we met each other was one of God's
miracles too. In the beginning, we never talked about
religion, and we never had disagreements about it.
One day, when I was in a really happy mood because I
had just met an old friend, he (in that time we still
weren't married) told me that he wanted to give me the
best thing in his life - faith. God put the correct
words on his lips that day, and I was really
interested to hear what he had to say about the Holy
Quran, about miracles written in it, and about the
meanings of every motion of his body while he prayed.
Though it was just one conversation about the topic,
it was enough to make me read as many books as I could
get my hands on. With every book, with every page, I
started to understand what I was missing in my life,
that is, what I had been looking for all those years
when I was asking priests for answers. Books would
talk to me - God was talking to me through books. I
found answers to a lot of questions; I found calmness
in my soul while those around me were still searching.
I became Muslim
just a few months ago, and it's amazing to feel the
miracle of a rebirth in faith. God loved me so much
that He let me be born again though I was already 21
years old, an age when I was able to appreciate His
amazing gift. Now I am a Muslim. Nobody can believe
how different it is to be Muslim!
God made me see
the sun in a different way than I used to see it when
I was a Christian. The sun has a different meaning
for me now. I know that this sunshine that God is
sending to us everyday is His way of showing us how
much He cares about us, how much He loves us. Because
of His mercy, we do not feel cold, and we can see the
world in many colors. God created night in order to
show us how amazing His light is. He made us trust
Him that after a cold and dark night, He will bring
forth a nice, fresh morning. In this way, God is
showing us signs. He gave us eyes to see His words in
every miracle.
I'm so happy and
thankful for God's gift to see this world anew - to
finally appreciate my life. He gave me a new and
fresh light in my life, and now I can see His signs
all around me in a different way. Everything I do,
everywhere I go, God is saying welcome to me. In
miracles that He is showing me, I see that I'm on the
right way, that He is with me (in His Knowledge). The
world didn't change in one day, it didn't even change
in 21 years. All that has changed is the quality of
my life when true understanding of God came into my
heart.
I wish the whole
world would change too. Now people are angry and
tired of looking for calmness through worldly
success. They are tired of hating each other, and of
being jealous of one another. Nations try to survive
by fighting each other; countries try to live in peace
but cannot stay without war. Each day, the world is
sinking deeper and deeper down. The only way to stop
it is to make Islam the way of life of humanity. With
love and knowledge of God in everybody's heart, we
will find and enjoy the life that we are now just
dreaming about. We will build an optimistic future
for our children; we will not be scared to meet each
other and live as a single humanity.