Wandering through religions, an
American priest embraces Islam.
By Jason Cruz
Alhumdulillah
(Thank God), I have been blessed by Allah with the
gift of Islam since 2006. When I was asked to write
about the path that I took and how Allah has blessed
me, I was hesitant. I have seen others get caught up
with personal fame by telling how they came to Islam
and I knew that I didn't want to have the same
challenge.
I ask you then
to take this story as the work of Allah and focus on
his mercy and greatness rather than my story in
particular, insha Allah. No one comes to Islam
without the mercy of Allah and it is his work not that
of the revert that truly matters.
I was born to a
nominally Roman Catholic family in Upstate New York.
I had a Roman Catholic mother and a Presbyterian
father who converted to Catholicism in order to get
married.
We attended
church on Sundays and I went through catechism, first
communion, and eventually confirmation within the
Roman Catholic Church. When I was young I began to
feel a call from Allah. This call I interpreted as a
call to the Roman Catholic priesthood and told my
mother as such. She, pleased with this, took me to
meet the priest at our local parish.
Fortunately or
unfortunately, this particular priest was not happy
with his vocation and advised me to stay away from the
priesthood. This upset me and even today, I do not
know how things would have been different if his
response had been more positive.
From that
earlier brush with Allah's call, and out of my own
foolishness and in my teen years, I went the other
way. My family broke up at an early age when I was
seven and I suffered from the loss of my father who
was not present after the divorce.
Starting at the
young age of 15, I began to be more interested in
nightclubs and parties than the Lord of the Universe.
I dreamed of becoming a lawyer, then politician with a
penthouse in Manhattan so I could participate in a
party lifestyle with style.
After I
graduated with honors, from my high school, I went to
college briefly. But my own twisted focus led me to
drop from college and move to Arizona (where I
continue to live until now) instead of getting my
degree.
This is
something that I regret to this day. Once in Arizona,
my situation went from bad to worse. I fell in with a
much worse crowd than I had at home and began to use
drugs. Due to my lack of education, I worked low end
jobs and continued to spend my time in drugs,
promiscuity, and nightclubs.
During this
time, I had my first encounter with a a Muslim. He
was a kind man who was attending a local college as a
foreign student. He was dating one of my friends and
often accompanied us to nightclubs and other parties
that we attended. I did not discuss Islam with him
but did question him about his culture which he shared
freely. Islam did not come up. Again I wonder how
things would have been different had he been a
practicing Muslim.
My bad lifestyle
continued for some years and I won't belabor it with
details. I had lots of trauma, people that I knew
died, I was stabbed and otherwise wounded but this is
not a tale of the dangers of drugs.
I only mention
it to state that no matter where you are, Allah can
bring you back from it insha Allah. I will fast
forward to when I became clean from drugs. Part of
the process of getting off of drugs and narcotics is
to establish a relationship with a "higher power".
For most this is
God and or other expressions of divinity. I had long
before lost my connection to Allah so I went on a
search for my higher power. Sadly, I did not find the
truth at first. Instead I went to Hinduism, which
appealed to me because of its explanation of why
suffering had happened to me.
I went all into
it, even changing my name to a Hindu name. It was
enough to keep me off of drugs and move my life in a
more positive direction, for which I am grateful.
Eventually, though I began to again feel the tug from
Allah. This began to show me that for me, Hinduism
was not the true way.
Allah continued
to needle me until I left Hinduism and I began to go
back to Christianity. I approached the Roman Catholic
Church to become a priest, as this is what I felt
Allah was calling me for, and they offered me an
education and a post in a monastery in New Mexico. By
this time my family (mother, brother and sister) had
moved to Arizona and I had close relationships with
many friends.
Needless to say
I was not yet ready. Instead I found an independent
catholic church that I could study through their
seminary program from home and become ordained and
assigned where I was already living. This independent
Catholic Church also appealed to my liberal ideals
that I had developed through my years living rough. I
attended their seminary program and in 2005 I was
ordained a priest.
My first
ministry in my new role was interfaith relations. My
assignment was to visit and learn about the different
faith traditions in the Phoenix Metro area and share
with them an interfaith message of peace and
understanding from my church.
Most Christian
traditions I already had studied and knew. I brushed
up on Judaism and other Far East religions. I was
what is known as a worker-priest, which means I had a
job at the same time as I was doing my ministry. I
had changed from working in corporate America to
working in a behavioral health agency.
My post was down
the street from a Masjid. I thought that this was my
chance to learn about Islam for my interfaith
relations. I went to the mosque and met some very
nice brothers who directed me to the mosque in Tempe,
Arizona.
I also began to
read about Islam independently and was startled by how
touched I was with what I was reading. Allah had me
now but I did not yet know it. I went to the Tempe
mosque and was to meet a wonderful teacher in the form
of Ahmad Al Akoum.
Br. Al Akoum,
who is the regional director of Muslim American
Society, had an introduction to Islam class open for
people of all faiths that I began to attend. While
attending this class, I began to see that Islam was
the truth. It was only a short time later that I gave
Shahadah at the Tempe mosquewith the Sheikh Ahmed
Shqeirat. Both Br. Al Akoum and Sheikh Shqeirat are
great men and without them I would not have been as
comfortable coming into Islam. I resigned from the
church and have been Muslim ever since, Alhumdulillah.
My life has
changed dramatically for the better since embracing
Islam. At first my family was saddened that I left
the priesthood and didn't understand, even feared,
Islam. But since my way of interacting with them,
based on my increased happiness and my striving to
adhere to Quran and Sunnah, has changed—they have seen
that it is a good thing.
Br. Al Akoum
knew that the first year is always toughest for the
revert. To lessen the stress of it, he made sure that
I was included in multiple community activities and
met lots of good practicing brothers. It is only
through contact with other Muslims that a revert can
be successful.
Left on his or
her own, it can be too daunting and their faith may
slip too far, so if you know a revert, please visit
them at least once every three days. I have advanced
further in my job because of my new base as a Muslim.
I became a manager of a program that seeks to prevent
alcohol and drug abuse, HIV, and Hepatitis for at risk
populations.
I have become a
volunteer in not only Muslim American Society but also
the Muslim Youth Centre of Arizona and other Muslim
causes. I have been recently nominated to the board
of the Tempe mosque where I first took shahadah.
Alhumdulillah it has also clarified who are my true
friends versus who were not.
I have less non
Muslim friends now as I cannot participate in the
activities that they choose to do for fun but I have
developed valuable friendships with Muslim brothers
that are better than anything I have had in the past.
Insha Allah, if Allah chooses, I would like to go and
study Fiqh to further the cause of Islam and benefit
the Ummah that I love. All of this was through the
grace of Allah and only the mistakes are mine.