How, Sara Bokker, a former actress,
model, fitness instructor and activist gave up the
glamorous Miami lifestyle for Islam and found true
liberation with Islam and the Islamic dress code for
women.
By Sara Bokker (edited by editor)
I am an American
woman who was born in the midst of America's
"Heartland". I grew up, just like any other girl,
being fixated with the glamour of life in "the big
city". Eventually, I moved to Florida and on to South
Beach of Miami, a hotspot for those seeking the
"glamorous life". Naturally, I did what most average
Western girls do. I focused on my appearance and
appeal, basing my self-worth on how much attention I
got from others. I worked out rigorously and became a
personal trainer, acquired an upscale waterfront
residence, became a regular "exhibiting" beach-goer
and was able to attain a "living-in-style" kind of
life.
Years went by,
only to realize that my scale of self-fulfillment and
happiness slid down the more I progressed in my
"feminine appeal". I was a slave to fashion. I was a
hostage to my looks.
As the gap
continued to progressively widen between my
self-fulfillment and lifestyle, I sought refuge in
escapes from alcohol and parties to meditation,
activism, and alternative religions, only to have the
little gap widen to what seemed like a valley. I
eventually realized it all was merely a pain killer
rather than an effective remedy.
As a feminist
libertarian, and an activist who was pursuing a better
world for all, my path crossed with that of another
activist who was already at the lead of
indiscriminately furthering causes of reform and
justice for all. I joined in the ongoing campaigns of
my new mentor which included, at the time, election
reform and civil rights, among others. Now my new
activism was fundamentally different. Instead of
"selectively" advocating justice only to some, I
learned that ideals such as justice, freedom, and
respect are meant to be and are essentially universal,
and that own good and common good are not in
conflict. For the first time, I knew what "all people
are created equal" really meant. But most
importantly, I learned that it only takes faith to see
the world as one and to see the unity in creation.
One day I came
across a book that is negatively stereotyped in the
West--The Holy Quran. Up until that point, all I had
associated with Islam was women covered in "tents",
wife beaters, harems, and a world of terrorism. I was
first attracted by the style and approach of the Quran,
and then intrigued by its outlook on existence, life,
creation, and the relationship between Creator and
creation. I found the Quran to be a very insightful
address to heart and soul without the need for an
interpreter or pastor.
Eventually I hit
a moment of truth: my new-found self-fulfilling
activism was nothing more than merely embracing a
faith called Islam where I could live in peace as a
"functional" Muslim.
I bought a
beautiful long gown and head cover resembling the
Muslim woman's dress code and I walked down the same
streets and neighborhoods where only days earlier I
had walked in my shorts, bikini, or "elegant" western
business attire. Although the people, the faces, and
the shops were all the same, one thing was remarkably
distinct: the peace at being a woman I experienced for
the very first time. I felt as if the chains had been
broken and I was finally free. I was delighted with
the new looks of wonder on people's faces in place of
the looks of a hunter watching his prey I had once
sought. Suddenly a weight had been lifted off my
shoulders. I no longer spent all my time consumed
with shopping, makeup, getting my hair done, and
working out. Finally, I was free.
Of all places, I
found my Islam at the heart of what some call "the
most scandalous place on earth", which makes it all
the more dear and special.
Soon enough,
news started breaking about politicians, Vatican
clergymen, libertarians, and so-called human rights
and freedom activists condemning the Hijab (headscarf)
as being oppressive to women, an obstacle to social
integration, and more recently, as an Egyptian
official called it -"a sign of backwardness."
I find it to be
a blatant hypocrisy when some people and so-called
human rights groups rush to defend women's rights when
some governments impose a certain dress code on women,
yet such "freedom fighters" look the other way when
women are being deprived of their rights, work, and
education just because they choose to exercise their
right to wear the Hijab.
Today I am still
a feminist, but a Muslim feminist, who calls on Muslim
women to assume their responsibilities in providing
all the support they can for their husbands to be good
Muslims. To raise their children as upright Muslims
so they may be beacons of light for all humanity once
again. To enjoin good -any good - and to forbid evil
-any evil. To speak righteousness and to speak up
against all ills. To fight for our right to wear
Hijab and to please our Creator whichever way we
chose. But just as importantly to carry our
experience with Hijab to fellow women who may never
have had the chance to understand what wearing Hijab
means to us and why do we, so dearly, embrace it.
Willingly or
unwillingly, women are bombarded with styles of
"dressing-in-little-to-nothing" virtually in every
means of communication everywhere in the world. As an
ex Non-Muslim, I insist on women's right to equally
know about Hijab, its virtues, and the peace and
happiness it brings to a woman's life as it did to
mine. Yesterday, the bikini was the symbol of my
liberty, when in actuality it only liberated me from
my spirituality and true value as a respectable human
being.
I couldn't be
happier to shed my bikini in South Beach and the
"glamorous" Western lifestyle to live in peace with my
Creator and enjoy living among fellow humans as a
worthy person.
Today, Hijab is
the new symbol of woman's liberation to find who she
is, what her purpose is, and the type of relation she
chooses to have with her Creator.
To women who
surrender to the ugly stereotype against the Islamic
modesty of Hijab, I say: You don't know what you are
missing.