When it comes to Islamic
duties, the Muslim woman is just like a
man: she has a mission in life, and so
she is required to be as effective,
active and social as her particular
circumstances and capabilities allow,
mixing with other women as much as she
can and dealing with them in accordance
with the worthy Islamic attitudes and
behaviour that distinguish her from
other women.
Wherever the Muslim
woman is found, she becomes a beacon of
guidance, and a positive source of
correction and education, through both
her words and her deeds.
The Muslim woman who
has been truly guided by the Qur'an and
Sunnah has a refined social personality
of the highest degree, which qualifies
her to undertake her duty of calling
other women to Islam, opening their
hearts and minds to the guidance of this
great religion which elevated the status
of women at a remarkably early stage in
their history and furnished them with a
vast range of the best of
characteristics which are outlined in
the Qur'an and Sunnah. Islam has made
the acquisition of these characteristics
a religious duty for which a person will
be rewarded, and will be called to
account if he or she fails to attain
them. These texts succeeded in making
the personality of the woman who is
sincere towards Allah (SWT) into a
brilliant example of the decent, chaste,
polite, God-fearing, refined, sociable
woman.
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam
stands out in every women's gathering
she attends, as she demonstrates the
true values of her religion and the
practical application of those values by
her attaining of those worthy
attributes. The make-up of her distinct
social character represents a huge store
of those Islamic values, which can be
seen in her social conduct and dealings
with people. From this rich, pure
source, the Muslim woman draws her own
customs, habits and ways of dealing with
others and she cleanses her soul and
forms her own Muslim, social personality
from the same source.
She has a good
attitude towards others
and treats them
well
The Muslim woman is of
good and noble character, friendly,
humble, gentle of speech and tactful.
She likes others and is liked by them.
By doing so, she is following the
example of the Prophet (PBUH) who, as
his servant Anas (RAA) reported, was
"the best of people in his attitude
towards others."1
Anas (RAA) saw more
than anyone else of the Prophet's good
attitude, and witnessed such good
attitudes that no-one could imagine it
existed in any human being. He told us
of one aspect of that noble attitude of
the Prophet (PBUH):
"I served the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) for ten
years, and he never said to me `Uff!'
(The smallest word of contempt). If I
did anything, he never said, `Why did
you do that?' And if I did not do
something, he never said, `Why did you
not do such-and-such?'"2
The Prophet (PBUH) was of
the best character, as Allah (SWT) said:
( And you [stand] on
an exalted standard of character.) (Qur'an
68:4)
He (PBUH) repeatedly told
his Sahabah of the effect a good
attitude would have in forming an
Islamic personality and in raising a
person's status in the sight of Allah (SWT)
and of other people. He (PBUH) told
them:
"Among the best of
you are those who have the best
attitude (towards others)."3
"The most
beloved to me and the closest to me on
the Day of Resurrection will be those
of you who have the best attitudes.
And the most hateful to me and the
furthest from me on the Day of
Resurrection will be the prattlers and
boasters and al-mutafayhiqun."
The Sahabah said, "O
Messenger of Allah (PBUH), we
understand who the prattlers and
boasters are, but who are al-mutafayhiqun?"
He (PBUH) said, "The proud and
arrogant."4
The Sahabah (RAA)
- men and women alike - used to hear the
Prophet's noble moral teachings, and
they would see with their own eyes the
excellent way in which he used to deal
with people. So they would obey his
words and follow his example. Thus was
established their society which has
never been equalled by any other in the
history of mankind.
Anas (RAA) said:
"The Prophet (PBUH)
was merciful. Nobody came to him
without receiving a promise of his
help, which he would fulfil if he had
the means to do so. On one occasion,
the iqamah for prayer had been
given, when a Bedouin came to him,
took hold of his cloak, and said, `I
still have some matter outstanding,
and I do not want to forget it.' So
the Prophet (PBUH) went with him and
resolved the matter, then he came back
and prayed."5
The Prophet (PBUH) did
not see anything wrong with listening to
the Bedouin and resolving his issue,
even though the iqamah had
already been given. He did not get upset
with the man for pulling on his cloak,
or object to resolving the matter before
the prayer, because he was building a
just society, teaching the Muslims by
his example how a Muslim should treat
his brother, and showing them the moral
principles that should prevail in a
Muslim community.
If good attitudes and
manners among non-Muslims are the result
of a good upbringing and solid
education, then among Muslims such good
attitudes come, above all, from the
guidance of Islam, which makes good
attitudes a basic characteristic of the
Muslim, one which will raise his status
in this world and will weigh heavily in
his favour in the Hereafter. No deed
will count for more on the Day of
Judgement than a man's good attitude, as
the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Nothing will
weigh more heavily in the balance of
the believing servant on the Day of
Resurrection than a good attitude
(towards others). Verily Allah (SWT)
hates those who utter vile words and
obscene speech."6
Islam has made this good
attitude towards others an essential
part of faith, and those who have the
best attitude towards others are the
most complete in faith, as the Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"The most perfect
in faith of the believers are those
who are best in their attitude towards
others."7
Islam also describes
those who have the best attitude towards
others as being the most beloved to
Allah (SWT) of His servants. This is
seen in the hadith of Usamah ibn Shurayk,
who said:
"We were sitting
with the Prophet (PBUH) as if there
were birds on our heads: none of us
were talking. Some people came to him
and asked, `Who is the most beloved to
Allah (SWT) of His Servants?' He said,
`Those who are the best in attitude
towards others.'"8
It comes as no surprise
that the person who has the best
attitude towards others should also be
the one who is most beloved to Allah (SWT),
for good treatment of others is an
important feature of Islamic law. It is
the most significant deed that can be
placed in the balance of the Muslim on
the Day of Judgement, as we have seen.
It is equivalent to prayer and fasting,
the two greatest bases of Islam, as the
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"No greater deed
will be placed in the balance than a
good attitude towards others. A good
attitude towards others will bring a
person up to the level of fasting and
prayer."9 According to
another report, he (PBUH) said:
"By virtue of his good attitude
towards others, a person may reach the
level of one who habitually fasts
(during the day) and stands in prayer
(at night)."
So the Prophet (PBUH)
repeatedly emphasized the importance of
a good attitude and encouraged his
Companions to adopt it, using various
methods to instil it in their hearts by
his words and deeds. He understood the
great impact this good attitude would
have in purifying their souls and
enhancing their morals and manners. For
example, he told Abu Dharr:
"O Abu Dharr,
shall I not tell you of two qualities
which are easy to attain but which
will weigh more heavily in the
balance?" He said, "Of
course, O Messenger of Allah." He
said, "You should have a good
attitude towards others and remain
silent for lengthy periods. By the One
in Whose hand is my soul, nothing that
people have ever attained is better
than these two."10
And he (PBUH) said:
"A good attitude
is a blessing and a bad attitude is a
calamity. Piety (birr)
lengthens life, and charity will
prevent a bad death."11
One of his du`a's
was:
"Allahumma
ahsanta khalqi fa ahsin k (O Allah
(SWT), You have made my physical
constitution good, so make my attitude
and behaviour good also)."12
The prayer of the Prophet
(PBUH), asking Allah (SWT) to make his
attitude good when Allah (SWT) had
described him in the Qur'an as being ( on
an exalted standard of character) (Qur'an
68:4), is a clear indication of his deep
concern and earnest desire that the
Muslims should continue to seek to
increase in good attitudes, no matter
what heights they had already scaled,
just as their Prophet (PBUH) continued
to seek to increase in good attitudes
through this du`a'. "Good
attitudes" is a comprehensive term
which includes all the good
characteristics that human beings may
acquire, such as modesty, patience,
gentleness, forgiveness, tolerance,
cheerfulness, truthfulness,
trustworthiness, sincerity,
straightforwardness, purity of heart,
and so on.
The one who sets out
to explore the Islamic teachings on
social issues will find himself
confronted with a host of teachings that
encourage every single one of these
noble attitudes. This is an indication
of the intense concern that Islam has to
form the social personality of the
Muslim in the most precise fashion. So
it does not stop at mentioning
generalities, but it also deals with
every minor moral issue that may form
individual aspects of the integrated
social personality. This
comprehensiveness does not exist in
other social systems as it does in
Islam.
The researcher who
sets out to explore the character of the
Muslim woman has no alternative but to
examine all these texts, and to
understand the guidance and legislation
contained therein. Only then will he be
able to fully comprehend the noble
social personality that is unique to the
true Muslim, man or woman.
She is truthful
The Muslim woman is
truthful with all people, because she
has absorbed the teachings of Islam
which encourages truthfulness and
regards it as the chief of virtues,
whilst lying is forbidden and regarded
as the source of all evils and bad
deeds. The Muslim woman believes that
truthfulness naturally leads to
goodness, which will admit the one who
practices it to Paradise, while
falsehood leads to iniquity which will
send the one who practices it to Hell.
The Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Truthfulness
leads to piety (birr), and
piety leads to Paradise. A man
continues to speak the truth until he
is recorded in the sight of Allah
(SWT) as a sincere lover of truth (siddiq).
Falsehood leads to iniquity and
iniquity leads to Hell. A man will
continue to speak falsehood until he
is recorded in the sight of Allah
(SWT) as a liar."13
Therefore the Muslim
woman is keen to be a sincere lover of
truth (siddiqah), striving to be
true in all her words and deeds. This is
a sublime status which is achieved only
by God-fearing Muslim women by means of
truthfulness, purity of heart and by
virtue of which she is recorded in the
sight of Allah (SWT) as an honoured
lover of truth.
She avoids giving
false statements
The true Muslim woman
whose personality has been moulded by
the teachings and guidance of Islam does
not give false statements, because to do
so is haram:
( . . . And shun the
word that is false.) (Qur'an
22:30)
Bearing false witness14,
besides being haram, does not
befit the Muslim woman. It damages her
honour and credibility, and marks a
person as twisted and worthless in the
sight of others. So the Qur'an
completely forbids this attitude for the
chosen servants of Allah (SWT), men and
women alike, just as it forbids other
major sins:
( Those who witness
no falsehood and, if they pass by
futility, they pass it by with
honourable [avoidance].) (Qur'an
25:72)
Nothing is more
indicative of the enormity of this sin
than the fact that the Prophet (PBUH)
mentioned it as coming after the two
most serious sins on the scale of major
sins: associating partners with Allah
(SWT), and disobedience to parents. Then
he repeated it to the Muslims, warning
them with the utmost fervour. He (PBUH)
said:
"Shall I not tell
you of the most serious of the major
sins?" We said: "Of course,
O Messenger of Allah." He said:
"Associating anything with Allah
(SWT), and diobeying parents." He
was reclining, but then he sat up and
said: "And bearing false
witness," and he kept repeating
this until we wished that he would
stop (i.e., so that he would not
exhaust himself with his
fervour)."15
She gives sincere
advice
The true Muslim woman
does not only strive to free herself of
negative characteristics; she also seeks
to offer sincere advice to every woman
she comes into contact with who has
deviated from the guidance of Allah
(SWT) - and how many women there are who
have wronged themselves and are in great
need of someone to offer them sincere
advice and guide them back towards the
straight path which Allah (SWT) has
commanded all of us to follow.
For the true Muslim
woman, offering sincere advice is not
just the matter of volunteering to do
good out of generosity; it is a duty
enjoined by Islam, as the Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"Religion is
sincerity [or sincere advice]."
The Sahabah asked, "To
whom?" He said, "To Allah
(SWT), to His Book, to His Messenger,
to the leaders of the Muslims and to
their common folk."16
When the Sahabah
swore allegiance (bay`ah) to the
Prophet (PBUH), they would pledge to
observe salah and zakah,
and to be sincere towards every Muslim,
as is shown in the statement of Jarir
ibn `Abdullah (RAA):
"I swore
allegiance to the Prophet (PBUH) with
the pledge that I would establish
regular prayer, pay zakah and
be sincere to every Muslim."17
How brilliantly the
Prophet (PBUH) expressed the meaning of nasihah
when he said, "Religion is
sincerity [or sincere advice]"! He
summed up the entire religion in just
one word, "nasihah,"
indicating to every Muslim the value of
sincerity and sincere advice, and the
great impact that sincere advice has on
the lives of individuals, families and
societies. When sincerity spreads among
a people, they are guided to the
straight path; if sincerity is withheld,
they will go far astray.
Therefore nasihah
was one of the most important matters
that Muslims pledged to observe when
they swore allegiance to the Prophet
(PBUH): it comes after salah and zakah,
as we have seen in thehadith of
Jabir ibn Abdullah quoted above.
The fact that sincere
advice is mentioned in conjunction with salah
and zakah in the oath of
allegiance given by the great Sahabi
Jarir ibn `Abdullah to the Prophet
(PBUH) is an indication of its
importance in the Islamic scheme of
things and in deciding a person's fate
in the Hereafter. It is therefore a
basic characteristic of the true Muslim
who is concerned about his destiny on
the Day of Judgement.
In Islam,
responsibility is a general duty that
applies to men and women alike, each
person has responsibilities within his
or her own social sphere, as the Prophet
(PBUH) explained:
"Each of you is a
shepherd and each of you is
responsible for his flock. The leader
is a shepherd and is responsible for
his flock; a man is the shepherd of
his family and is responsible for his
flock; a woman is the shepherd in the
house of her husband and is
responsible for her flock; a servant
is the shepherd of his master's wealth
and is responsible for it. Each of you
is a shepherd and is responsible for
his flock."18
If we understand this, we
will realize that the woman's
responsibility includes offering sincere
advice to everyone around her who can
benefit from it.
She guides others
to righteous deeds
The Muslim woman whose
soul has been purified by Islam and
cleansed of the stains of selfishness
and love of show guides others to
righteous deeds when she knows of them,
so that goodness will come to light and
people will benefit from it. It is all
the same to her whether the good deed is
done by herself or by others, because
she knows that the one who guides others
to do righteous deeds will be rewarded
like the one who does the actual deed,
as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Whoever guides
others to do good will have a reward
like that of the person who does the
good deed."19
The Muwoman is the least
likely to keep goodness to herself, or
to boast to others about doing good,
which is the attitude of selwomen who
love to show off. It is enough for the
Muslim woman who guides others to do
good to know that she will be rewarded
by Allah (SWT) in either case, and for
the true Muslim woman, storing up reward
with Allah (SWT) is more important than
fame and a good reputation. In this way,
goodness spreads throughout the
community, and every person will have
the opportunity to do whatever Allah
(SWT) helps him or her to do.
How many of these
deadly psychological disorders are
preventing good from being spread in
society! For the people who are
suffering from them hope that they alone
will undertake good deeds to the
exclusion of others, but circumstances
prevent them from doing so. So goodness
and benefits remain locked up waiting
for the opportunity that never comes.
The true Muslim, man or woman, who seeks
to please Allah (SWT) and earn reward
from Him is free from such disorders.
The true Muslim guides people to do good
deeds as soon as he or she is aware of
an opportunity, and thus he or she earns
a reward from Allah (SWT) equal to the
reward of the one who does the good deed
itself.
She does not cheat,
deceive, or stab in the back
The sincere Muslim
woman for whom truthfulness has become a
deeply-rooted characteristic does not
cheat, deceive or stab in the back,
because these worthless characteristics
are beneath her. They contradict the
values of truthfulness, and do not befit
the Muslim woman. Truthfulness requires
an attitude of sincerity,
straightforwardness, loyalty and
fairness, which leaves no room for
cheating, lying, trickery, deceit or
betrayal.
The Muslim woman who
is filled with the guidance of Islam is
truthful by nature, and has a complete
aversion to cheating, deceiving and
back-stabbing, which she sees as a sign
of a person's being beyond the pale of
Islam, as the Prophet (PBUH) stated in
the hadith narrated by Muslim:
"Whoever bears
arms against us is not one of us, and
whoever cheats us is not one of
us."20
According to another
report, also narrated by Muslim, the
Prophet (PBUH) passed by a pile of
food (in the market), put his hand in
it and felt dampness (although the
surface of the pile was dry). He said,
"O owner of the food, what is
this?" The man said, "it was
damaged by rain, O Messenger of
Allah." He said, "And you
did not put the rain-damaged food on
top so that people could see it!
Whoever cheats us is not one of
us."21
Muslim society is based
on purity of human feeling, sincerity
towards every Muslim, and fulfilment of
promises to every member of the society.
If any cheats or traitors are found in
that society, they are most certainly
alien elements whose character is in
direct contrast to the noble character
of true Muslims.
Islam views cheating,
deception and back-stabbing as heinous
crimes which will be a source of shame
to the guilty party both in this world
and the next. The Prophet (PBUH)
announced that on the Day of
Resurrection, every traitor would be
raised carrying the flag of his betrayal
and a caller will cry out in the vast
arena of judgement, pointing to him and
drawing attention to him:
"Every traitor
will have a banner on the Day of
Resurrection, and it will be said:
`This is the betrayer of
so-and-so.'"22
How great will be the
shame of those traitors, men and women,
who thought that their betrayal was long
since forgotten, and now here it is,
spread out for all to see and carried
aloft on banners held by their own
hands.
Their shame on the Day
of Judgement will increase when they see
the Prophet (PBUH), who is the hope of
intercession on that great and terrible
Day, standing in opposition to them,
because they have committed the heinous
crime of betrayal, which is a crime of
such enormity that it will deprive them
of the mercy of Allah (SWT) and the
intercession of the Prophet (PBUH):
"Allah (SWT), may
He be exalted, said: `There are three
whom I will oppose on the Day of
Resurrection: a man who gave his word,
and then betrayed; a man who sold a
free man into slavery and kept the
money; and a man who hired someone,
benefitted from his labour, then did
not pay his wages."23
The Muslim woman who has
been truly guided by Islam steers clear
of all forms of deceit and
back-stabbing. They exist in many forms
in the world of modern women, but the
Muslim woman values herself too highly
to include herself among those cheating,
deceiving women whom the Prophet (PBUH)
considered to be hypocrites:
"There are four
features, whoever has all of them is a
true hypocrite, and whoever has one of
them has one of the qualities of a
hypocrite until he gives it up: when
he is trusted, he is unfaithful; when
he speaks, he tells lies; when he make
a promise, he proves treacherous; and
when he disputes, he resorts to
slander."24She keeps her promises
One of the noble
attitudes of the true Muslim woman is
that she keeps her promises. This
attitude is the companion of
truthfulness and indeed stems naturally
from it.
Keeping promises is a
praiseworthy attitude, one that
indicates the high level of civility
attained by the woman who exhibits it.
It helps her to succeed in life, and
earns her the love, respect and
appreciation of others.
The effects of this
attitude in instilling moral and
psychological virtues in girls and boys
are not unknown; if they see their
mothers always keeping their promises,
this is the best example that they can
be given.
For the Muslim woman,
keeping promises is not just the matter
of social niceties, something to boast
about among her friends and peers; it is
one of the basic Islamic characteristics
and one of the clearest indicators of
sound faith and true Islam. Many texts
of the Qur'an and Sunnah emphasize the
importance of this quality:
( O you who believe!
Fulfil all obligations.) (Qur'an
5:1)
( And fulfil
every engagement, for [every]
engagement will be enquired into [on
the Day of Reckoning].) (Qur'an
17:34)
This is a definitive
command from Allah (SWT) to His
believing servants, men and women alike,
to keep their promises and to fulfil
whatever obligations those promises
entail. There is no room for escaping or
dodging this responsibility. It does not
befit the Muslim who has committed
himself or herself to then try to get
out of keeping the promise. It is his
duty to keep his word. In some ayat,
the word for "promise" is
connected by the grammatical structure
of idafah (genitive) to Allah
(SWT) Himself, as an indication of its
dignity and sanctity, and of the
obligation to keep promises:
( Fulfil the
Covenant of Allah, when you have
entered into it . . .) (Qur'an
16:91)
Islam dislikes those
prattlers who carelessly make promises
without following through and keeping
their word:
( O you who believe!
Why say you that which you do not?
Grievously odious is it in the sight
of Allah that you say that which you
do not.) (Qur'an 61:2-3)
Allah (SWT) does not like
His believing servants, male or female,
to sink to the level of empty words,
promises given with no intention of
fulfilment, and all manner of excuses to
avoid upholding the commitments made.
Such conduct does not befit believing
men and women. The tone of the question
asked in this ayah is an
expression of the extreme disapproval
incurred by those believers who commit
the sin of saying that which they do not
do.
The Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"The signs of a
hypocrite are three: when he speaks,
he lies; when he makes a promise, he
breaks it; and when he is entrusted
with something, he betrays that
trust."25
According to a report
given by Muslim, he (PBUH) added:
"Even if he fasts,
prays and thinks that he is a
Muslim."26
The level of a woman's
Islam is not determined only by acts of
worship and rituals, but also the extent
to which her character is influenced by
the teachings and high values of Islam.
She does only that which will please
Allah (SWT). The Muslim woman who
understands and adheres to the teachings
of Islam does not break her promises, or
cheat others, or betray them, because
such acts contradict the morals and
values of true Isla, and such attitudes
are only found among men and women who
are hypocrites.
Let them know this,
those women who tell lies to their own
children, who make promises then go back
on thword, thus planting the seeds of
dishonesty and promise-breaking in their
children's hearts. Let them know this,
those women who make empty, meaningless
promises and attach no importance to the
word of honour to which they have
committed themselves, lest by such
carelessness they become hypocrites
themselves and earn the punishment of
the hypocrites which, as is well known,
is a place in the lowest level of Hell.
She is not a
hypocrite
The true Muslim woman
is frank and open in her words and
opinions, and is the furthest removed
from hypocrisy, flattery and false
praise, because she knows from the
teachings of Islam that hypocrisy is haram,
and does not befit the true Muslim.
The Prophet (PBUH) has
protected us from falling into the
mire of hypocrisy and flattery. When
Banu `Amir came to him and praised
him, saying, "You are our
master," he said, "The only
Master is Allah (SWT)." When they
said, "You are the most excellent
and greatest of us," he said,
"Say what you want, or a part of
it, but do not speak like agents of
Shaytan. I do not want you to raise me
above the status to which Allah (SWT)
has appointed me. I am Muhammad ibn
`Abdullah, His Servant and
Messenger."27
The Prophet (PBUH)
prevented people from exaggerating in
their praise of others, some of whom may
not even be deserving of praise, when he
forbade them to describe him as
"master,"
"excellent" and
"great," at the time when he
was without doubt the greatest of the
Messengers, the master of the Muslims
and the greatest and most excellent of
them. He did this because he understood
that if the door of praise was opened to
its fullest extent, it might lead to
dangerous types of hypocrisy which are
unacceptable to a pure Islamic spirit
and the truth on which this religion is
based. He forbade the Sahabah to
praise a man to his face, lest the one
who spoke the words crossed the boundary
of hypocrisy, or the object of his
admiration be filled with feelings of
pride, arrogance, superiority and
self-admiration.
Bukhari and Muslim
narrate that Abu Bakrah (RAA) said:
"A man praised
another man in the presence of the
Prophet (PBUH), who said: `Woe to you!
You have cut your companion's throat!'
several times. Then he said: `Whoever
of you insists on praising his
brother, let him say: "I think
So-and-so is such-and-such, and Allah
(SWT) knows the exact truth, and I do
not confirm anyone's good conduct
before Allah (SWT), but I think him to
be such-and-such," if he knows
that this is the case.'"28
If praising a person
cannot be avoided, then it must be
sincere and based on truth. The praise
should be moderate, reserved and without
any exaggeration. This is the only way
in which a society can rid itself of the
diseases of hypocrisy, lies, deceit and
sycophancy.
In al-Adab al-Mufrad,
Bukhari reports from Raja' from Mihjan
al-Aslami that the Prophet (PBUH) and
Mihjan were in the mosque when the
Prophet (PBUH) saw a man praying,
bowing and prostrating, and asked,
"Who is that?" Mihjan began
to praise the man, saying, "O
Messenger of Allah, he is So-and-so,
and is such-and-such." The
Prophet (PBUH) said: "Stop. Do
not let him hear you, or it will be
his downfall!"29
According to a
report given by Ahmad, Mihjan said:
"O Messenger of Allah, this is
so-and-so, one of the best people of
Madinah," or "one of the
people who prays the most in
Madinah." The Prophet (PBUH)
said: "Do not let him hear you,
or it will be his downfall!" -
two or three times - "You are an ummah
for whom I wish ease."30
The Prophet (PBUH)
described hearing praise as being a
person's downfall, because of its
profound psychological impact on the
human mind which by nature loves to hear
such words. So the one who is praised
begins to feel superior to and to look
down on other people. If such praise is
repeated by the hypocrites and
flatterers - and how many of them there
are surrounding those in positions of
power and authority! - this will satisfy
a strong desire in his heart and will
become something he wants to hear
regularly. Then he will hate to hear
criticism and advice, and will only
accept praise, thanks and adulation. No
wonder, then, that truth will be lost,
justice will be eliminated, morality
will be destroyed and society will be
corrupted.
For this reason the
Prophet (PBUH) ordered his Companions to
throw dust in the faces of those who
praise others, lest their number, and
hence flattery and hypocrisy, increase,
which would have had disastrous
consequences for the whole Muslim
society.
The Sahabah,
may Allah (SWT) be pleased with them,
used to feel upset when they heard
others praising them, although they were
the most deserving of such praise,
because they feared its disastrous
consequences and adhered to the basic
principles of Islam that abhor such
cheap, empty expressions. Nafi`(RAA) and
others said: "A man said to Ibn
`Umar (RAA): `O you who are the best of
people!' or `O son of the best of
people!' Ibn `Umar said: `I am not the
best of people, neither am I the son of
the best of people. I am just one of the
servants of Allah (SWT): I hope for His
(mercy) and I fear His (wrath). By Allah
(SWT), you will continue to pursue a man
(with your praise) until you bring about
his downfall.'"31
This is a wise
statement from a great Sahabi of
the utmost Islamic sensibilities, who
adhered to Islamic teachings both in
secret and openly.
The Sahabah
understood precisely the Prophet's
guidance telling them that their words
and deeds should be free from hypocrisy.
The great difference between that which
is done sincerely for the sake of Allah
(SWT) and that which is merely hypocrisy
and flattery was abundantly clear to
them.
Ibn `Umar (RAA) said
that some people said to him: "When
we enter upon our rulers we tell them
something different from what we say
when we have left them." Ibn `Umar
said: "At the time of the Prophet
(PBUH), we used to consider this to be
hypocrisy."32
The true Muslim woman
is protected by her religion from
sinking to the dangerous level of
hypocrisy to which many women today have
sunk who think that they have not
overstepped the bounds of polite
flattery. They do not realize that there
is a type of flattery that is haram
and that they could sink so low without
realizing it and fall into the sin of
that despised hypocrisy which may lead
to their ultimate doom. This happens
when they keep quiet and refrain from
telling the truth, or when they praise
those who do not deserve it.
She is
characterized by shyness [haya']
Women are shy by
nature, and what I mean here by shyness
is the same as the definition of the `ulama':
the noble attitude that always motivates
a person to keep away from what is
abhorrent and to avoid falling short in
one's duties towards those who have
rights over one. The Prophet (PBUH) was
the highest example of shyness, as the
great Sahabi Abu Sa`id al-Khudri
described him:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) was more shy than the
virgin hiding away in her own room. If
he saw something he disliked, we would
know it only from his facial
expression."33
The Prophet (PBUH)
praised the attitude of shyness in a
number of ahadith, and explained that it
is pure goodness, both for the one who
possesses this virtue and for the
society in which he lives.
`Imran ibn Husayn
(RAA) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `Shyness brings nothing
but good.'"34
According to a report
given by Muslim, he (PBUH) said:
"Shyness is all
good."35
Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: "Faith has
seventy-odd branches. The greatest of
them is saying la ilaha ill-Allah,
and the least of them is removing
something harmful from the road.
Shyness is one of the branches of
faith."36
The true Muslim woman is
shy, polite, gentle and sensitive to the
feelings of others. She never says or
does anything that may harm people or
offend their dignity.
The attitude of
shyness that is deeply-rooted in her
nature is supported by her understanding
of the Islamic concepof shyness, which
protects her against going wrong or
deviating from Islamic teachings in her
dealings with others. She does not only
feel shy in front of people, but she
also feels shy before Allah (SWT). She
is careful not to let her faith become
by wrongdoing, because shyness is one of
the branches of faith. This is the
highest level that may be reached by the
woman who is characterized by shyness.
In this way she is distinguished from
the Western woman who has lost the
characteristic of shyness.
She is proud and
does not beg
One of the features
that distinguish the Muslim woman who
has truly understood the guidance of
Islam is the fact that she is proud and
does not beg. If she is faced with
difficulties or is afflicted with
poverty, she seeks refuge in patience
and self-pride, whilst redoubling her
efforts to find a way out of the crisis
of poverty that has befallen her. It
never occurs to her to put herself in
the position of begging and asking for
help, because Islam thinks too highly of
the true Muslim woman to allow her to
put herself in such a position. The
Muslim woman is urged to be proud,
independent and patient - then Allah
(SWT) will help her and give her
independence and patience:
"Whoever refrains
from asking from people, Allah (SWT)
will help him. Whoever tries to be
independent, Allah (SWT) will enrich
him. Whoever tries to be patient,
Allah (SWT) will give him patience,
and no-one is given a better or vaster
gift than patience."37
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam knows
that Islam has given the poor some
rights over the wealth of the rich, who
should give freely without reminders or
insults. But at the same time, Islam
wants the poor to be independent and not
to rely on this right. The higher hand
is better than the lower hand, so all
Muslims, men and women, should always
work so that their hand will not be the
lower one. That is more befitting and
more honouring to them. So those men and
women who have little should increase
their efforts and not be dependent on
charity and hand-outs. This will save
them from losing face. Whenever he spoke
from the minbar about charity and
refraining from begging, the Prophet
(PBUH) would remind the Muslims that
"the higher hand is better than the
lower, the higher hand is the one that
spends, whilst the lower hand is the one
that begs."38
She does not
interfere in that which
does not concern
her
The true Muslim woman
is wise and discerning; she does not
interfere in that which does not concern
her, nor does she concern herself with
the private lives of the women around
her. She does not stick her nose into
their affairs or force herself on them
in any way, because this could result in
sin or blame on her part. By seeking to
avoid interfering in that which does not
concern her, she protects herself from
vain and idle talk, as she is adhering
to a sound Islamic principle that raises
the Muslim above such foolishness,
furnishes him with the best of
attitudes, and guides him towards the
best way of dealing with others:
"A sign of a
person's being a good Muslim is that
he should leave alone that which does
not concern him."39
Abu Hurayrah (RAA)
reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Allah (SWT) likes
three things for you and dislikes
three things. He likes for you to
worship Him, not to associate anything
with Him, and to hold fast, all
together, by the Rope which He
(stretches out for you), and not to be
divided among yourselves [cf. Al
`Imran 3:103]. And He dislikes for
you to pass on stories and gossip, to
ask too many questions, and to waste
money."40
The divinely-guided
society which has been formed by Islam
has no room for passing on stories and
gossip, asking too many questions, or
interfering in the private affairs of
others, because the members of such a
society are too busy with something much
more important, which is the
establishing of the word of Allah (SWT)
on earth, taking the banner of Islam to
the four corners of the earth, and
spreading its values among mankind.
Those who are engaged in such great
missions do not have the time to indulge
in such sins.
She refrains from
slandering the honour
of others and
seeking out their faults
The God-fearing Muslim
woman restrains her tongue and does not
seek out people's faults or slander
their honour, and she hates to see such
talk spread in the Muslim community. She
acts in accordance with the guidance of
the Qur'an and Sunnah, which issue a
severe warning to those corrupt men and
women who indulge in slandering the
honour of others, that they will suffer
a terrible punishment in this world and
the next:
( Those who love [to
see] scandal published broadcast among
the Believers, will have a grievous
Penalty in this life and in the
Hereafter: Allah knows, and you know
not.) (Qur'an 24:19)
The one who indulges in
the slander of people's honour, and
spreads news of scandal throughout the
community is just like the one who
commits the scandalous deed, as `Ali ibn
Abi Talib (RAA) stated:
"The one who tells
the news of scandal and the one who
spread the news are equally
sinful."41
The true Muslim woman
understands that the human shortcomings
of some weak or careless women cannot be
dealt with by seeking out their faults
and mistakes and broadcasting them
throughout the community. The way to
deal with them is by offering sound
advice to the women concerned,
encouraging them to obey Allah (SWT),
and teaching them to hate disobedience
themselves, always being frank without
hurting their feelings or being
confrontational.
Kind words and a
gentle approach in explaining the truth
opens hearts and minds, and leads to
complete spiritual and physical
submission. For this reason, Allah (SWT)
forbids the Muslims to spy on one
another and seek out one another's
faults:
( . . . And spy not
on each other . . .) (Qur'an
49:12)
Exposing people's
shortcomings, seeking out their faults,
spying on them and gossiping about them
are actions which not only hurt the
people concerned; they also harm the
greater society in which they live.
Therefore the Qur'an issued a stern
warning to those who love to spread
scandal in the community, because
whenever scandal is spread in a
community, people's honour is insulted,
and rumours, plots and suspicions
increase, then the disease of
promiscuity becomes widespread, people
become immune to acts of disobedience
and sin, the bonds of brotherhood are
broken, and hatred, enmity, conspiracies
and corruption arise. This is what the
Prophet (PBUH) referred to when he said:
"If you seek out
the faults of the Muslims, you will
corrupt them, or you will nearly
corrupt them."42
So the Prophet (PBUH)
issued a stern warning to the Muslims
against the danger of slandering
people's honour and exposing their
faults. He threatened that the one who
takes such matters lightly would himself
be exposed, even if he were hiding in
the innermost part of his home:
"Do not hurt the
feelings of the servants of Allah (SWT);
do not embarrass them; do not seek to
expose their faults. Whoever seeks to
expose the faults of his Muslim brother,
Allah (SWT) will seek to expose his
faults and expose him, even if he hides
in the innermost part of his home."43
The Prophet (PBUH) was
deeply offended by those who were nosey,
suspicious or doubtful, or who sought to
undermine people's reputation and
honour. He would become very angry
whenever he heard any news of these
aggressors who hurt others. Ibn `Abbas
(RAA) described the anger of the Prophet
(PBUH) and his harshness towards those
who slandered the honour of others:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) gave a speech that even reached
the ears of virgins in their private
rooms. He said: `O you who have spoken
the words of faith, but faith has not
penetrated your hearts! Do not hurt the
feelings of the believers and do not
seek out their faults. Whoever seeks out
the faults of his Muslim brother, Allah
(SWT) will seek out his faults, and
whoever's faults are sought out by Allah
(SWT) will be exposed, even if he is in
the innermost part of his house."44
These harsh words,
which were even heard by the virgins
secluded in tprivate rooms, reflect the
anger felt by the Prophet (PBUH). He
started his speech with the words
"O you who have spoken the words of
faith, but faith has not penetrated your
hearts!" How great is the sin of
those who are included among those whose
hearts are deprived of the blessing of
faith!
She does noshow off
or boast
The Muslim woman does
not slip into the error of pride,
boasting and showing off, because her
knowledge of Islam protects her from
such errors. She understands that the
very essence of this religion is
sincerity towards Allah (SWT) in word
and deed; any trace of a desire to show
off will destroy reward, cancel out good
deeds, and bring humiliation on the Day
of Judgement.
Worshipping Allah
(SWT) is the goal behind the creation of
mankind and jinn, as the Qur'an
says:
( I have only
created jinns and men, that
they may serve Me.) (Qur'an 51:56)
But this worship cannot
be accepted unless it is done sincerely
for the sake of Allah (SWT):
( And they have been
commanded no more than this: to
worship Allah, offering Him sincere
devotion, being True [in faith] . . .)
(Qur'an 98:5)
When a Muslim woman's
deeds are contaminated with the desire
to boast or show off or seek fame and
reputation, the good deeds will be
invalidated. Her reward will be
destroyed and she will be in a clear
state of loss. The Qur'an issues a clear
and stern warning to those who spend
their wealth then remind the
beneficiaries of their charity of their
gifts in a way that hurts their feelings
and offends their dignity:
( O you who believe!
Cancel not your charity by reminders
of your generosity or by injury - like
those who spend their substance to be
seen of men, but believe neither in
Allah nor the Last Day. They are in
Parable like a hard, barren rock, on
which is a little soil; on it falls
heavy rain, which leaves it [just] a
bare rock. They will be able to do
nothing with aught they have earned.
And Allah guides not those who reject
faith.) (Qur'an 2:264)
Reminding the poor of
one's generosity cancels out the reward
of these acts of charity, just as
pouring water washes away all traces of
soil on a smooth stone. The last part of
the ayah presents the frightening
admonition that those who show off do
not deserve the guidance of Allah (SWT)
and are counted as kafirs: ( And
Allah guides not those who reject
faith.)
Such people's main
concern is to appear to people to be
doing good works; they are not concerned
with earning the pleasure of Allah
(SWT). Allah (SWT) has described them as
doing apparently good deeds:
( . . . to be seen
of men, but little do they hold Allah
in remembrance.) (Qur'an 4:142)
Thus their deeds will be
thrown back in their faces, because they
associated something or someone else
with Allah (SWT), and Allah (SWT) does
not accept any deeds except those which
are done purely for His sake, as is
stated in the hadith of Abu Hurayrah
(RAA), in which he reports that he heard
the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say:
"Allah (SWT) said:
`I am so self-sufficient that I am in
no need of having an associate. Thus
he who does an action for someone
else's sake as well as Mine shall have
that action renounced by Me to the one
whom he associated with Me."45
The true Muslim woman is
cautious, when doing good deeds, to
avoid falling into the dangerous trap
into which so many women who seek to do
good have fallen, without even realizing
it, by seeking praise for their efforts
and honourable mention on special
occasions. Theirs is a terrible fall
indeed.
The Prophet (PBUH) has
clearly explained this issue and has
referred to the terrible humiliation
that those who show off will suffer on
that awful Day ( whereon neither
wealth nor sons will avail, but only he
[will prosper] that brings to Allah a
sound heart.) (Qur'an 26:88-89).
This is mentioned in
another hadith in which Abu Hurayrah
(RAA) said:
"I heard the
Prophet (PBUH) say: `The first person
to be judged on the Day of
Resurrection will be a man who was
martyred. He will be brought forth and
Allah (SWT) will remind him of His
blessings, and he will recognize them.
Then he will be asked, "What did
you do with them?" He will say,
"I fought for Your sake until I
was martyred." Allah (SWT) will
say, "You have lied. You only
fought so that people would say, `He
is courageous,' and they did say
it." Then He will order that he
be dragged on his face and thrown into
the Fire. Then there will be a man who
studied much and taught others, and
recited Qur'an. He will be brought
forth and Allah (SWT) will remind of
His blessings, and he will recognize
them. Then he will be asked,
"What did you do with them?"
He will say, "I studied much, and
taught others, and recited Qur'an for
Your sake. Allah (SWT) will say,
"You have lied. You studied so
that people would say, `He is a
scholar,' and you recited Qur'an so
that they would say, `He is a qari','
and they did say it." Then He
will order that he be dragged on his
face and thrown into the Fire. Then
there will be a man to whom Allah
(SWT) gave all types of wealth in
abundance. He will be brought forth
and Allah (SWT) will remind him of His
blessings and he will recognize them.
Then he will be asked, "What did
you do with them?" He will say,
"I have never seen any way in
which You would like money to be spent
for Your sake without spending
it." Allah (SWT) will say,
"You have lied. You did that so
people would say, `he is generous,'
and they did say it." Then He
will order that he be dragged on his
face and thrown into the
Fire."'"46
The intelligent Muslim
woman who is truly guided by the Qur'an
and Sunnah carefully avoids slipping
into the sin of boasting in any of its
many forms. She is ever keen to devote
all of her deeds exclusively to Allah
(SWT), seeking His pleasure, and
whenever the appalling spectre of pride
and boasting looms before her, she
remembers and adheres to the teaching of
the Prophet (PBUH):
"Whoever makes a
show of his good deeds so that people
will respect him, Allah (SWT) will
show what is truly in his heart."47She is fair in her
judgements
The Muslim woman may
be put in a position where she is
required to form an opinion or judgement
on some person or matter. This is where
her faith, common sense and taqwa
reveal themselves. The true Muslim woman
judges fairly, and is never unjust,
biased or influenced by her own whims,
no matter what the circumstances,
because she understands from the
teachings of Islam that being just and
avoiding unfairness are at the very
heart of her faith, as stated by clear
and unambiguous texts of the Qur'an and
Sunnah and expressed in commandments
that leave no room for prevarication:
( Allah does command
you to render back your Trusts to whom
they are due; and when you judge
between man and man, that you judge
with justice . . .)
(Qur'an 4:58)
Justice as known by the
Muslim and the Islamic society is
aboslute and pure justice. It is not
influenced by friendship, hatred or
blood ties:
( O you who believe!
Stand out firmly for Allah, as
witnesses to fair dealing, and do not
let the hatred of others to you make
you swerve to wrong and depart from
justice. Be just: that is next to
Piety: and fear Allah. For Allah is
well-acquainted with all that you do.)
(Qur'an 5:8)
( . . . Whenever
you speak, speak justly, even if a
near relative is concerned . . .) (Qur'an
6:152)
The Prophet (PBUH)
set the highest example of justice
when Usamah ibn Zayd came to intercede
for the Makhzumi woman who had
committed theft, and the Prophet
(PBUH) had decided to cut off her
hand. He said: "Do you intercede
concerning one of the punishments
decreed by Allah (SWT), O Usamah? By
Allah (SWT), even if Fatimah the
daughter of Muhammad had committed
theft, I would have cut off her
hand."48
This is absolute,
universal justice which is applied to
great and small, prince and commoner,
Muslims and non-Muslims. None can escape
its grasp, and this is what
differentiates justice in Islamic
societies from justice in other
societies.
History records the
impressive story that earns the respect
of the institutions of justice
throughout the world and at all times:
the khalifah `Ali ibn AbTalib
stood side by side in court with his
Jewish opponent, who had stolen his
shield, on equal terms. The qadi,
Shurayh, did not let his great respect
for the khalifah prevent him from
asking him to produce evidence that the
Jew had stolen his shield. When the khalifah
could not produce such evidence, the qadi
ruled in favour of the Jew, and against
the khalifah. Islamhistory is
full of such examples which indicate the
extent to which truth and justice
prevailed in the Muslim society.
Therefore the Muslim
woman who truly adheres to the teachings
of her religion is just in word and
deed, and this attitude of hers is
reinforced by the fact that truth and
justice are an ancient part of her
heritage and fairness is a sacred part
of her belief.
She does not
oppress or mistreat others
To the extent that the
Muslim woman is keen to adhere to
justice in all her words and deeds, she
also avoids oppression (zulm),
for oppression is darkness in which male
and female oppressors will become lost,
as the Prophet (PBUH) explained:
"Keep away from
oppression, for oppression is darkness
on the Day of Resurrection."49
The following hadith
qudsi definitively and eloquently
expresses Allah's (SWT) prohibition of
oppression in a way that leaves no room
for prevarication:
"O My servants, I
have forbidden oppression for Myself
and have made it forbidden amongst
you, so do not oppress one
another."50
If Allah (SWT), the
Creator, the Sovereign, the Most Holy,
the Exalted in Might, the Omnipotent,
the Almighty, may He be glorified, has
forbidden oppression for Himself, and
forbidden it for His servants, does it
then befit His weak, mortal servant to
commit the sin of oppression against his
human brother?
The Prophet (PBUH)
forbade Muslim men and women to commit
the sin of oppression against their
brothers and sisters in faith, no matter
what the motives, reasons or
circumstances might be. It is
unimaginable that a Muslim who is
adhering to the strong bonds of
brotherhood could commit such a sin:
"A Muslim is the
brother of another Muslim: he does not
oppress him or forsake him when he is
oppressed. Whoever helps his brother,
Allah (SWT) will help him; whoever
relieves his brother from some distress,
Allah (SWT) will relieve him of some of
his distress on the Day of Resurrection;
whoever covers (the fault of) a Muslim,
Allah (SWT) will cover his faults on the
Day of Resurrection."51
The Prophet (PBUH) did
not stop at forbidding oppression
against another Muslim, man or woman; he
also forbade Muslims to forsake a
brother in faith who was being
oppressed, because this act of forsaking
an oppressed brother is in itself a
terrible form of oppression. He
encouraged Muslims to take care of their
brothers' needs and to ease their
suffering and conceal their faults, as
if indicating that the neglect of these
virtues constitutes oppression, failure
and injustice with regard to the ties of
brotherhood that bind the Muslim and his
brother.
We have quoted above
the texts that enjoin absolute justice
which cannot be influenced by love,
hatred, bias or ties of blood, and other
texts that forbid absolute injustice.
This means that justice is to be applied
to all people, and that injustice to any
people is to be avoided, even if the
people concerned are not Muslim. Allah
(SWT) commands justice and good
treatment of all, and forbids oppression
and wrong-doing to all:
( Allah forbids you
not, with regard to those who fight
you not for [your] Faith nor drive you
out of your homes, from dealing kindly
and justly with them: For Allah loves
those who are just.) (Qur'an 60:8)
She is fair even to
those whom
she does not like
Life sometimes imposes
on a Muslim woman the burden of having
to live or mix with women whom she does
not like, such as living in the same
house with one of her in-laws or other
women with whom she has nothing in
common and does not get along well. This
is something which happens in many
homes, a fact which cannot be denied,
for souls are like conscripted soldiers:
if they recognize one another, they will
become friends, and if they dislike one
another, they will go their separate
ways, as the Prophet (PBUH) explained in
the hadith whose authenticity is agreed
upon. How should the Muslim woman who
has received a sound Islamic education
conduct herself in such a situation?
Should she be negative in her dealings,
judgements and reactions, or should she
be gentle, tactful, fair and wise, even
with those whom she does not like?
The answer is that the
Muslim woman who is truly guided by
Islam should be fair, wise, gentle and
tactful. She should not expose her true
feelings towards those she dislikes, or
expose her cold feelings towards them in
the way she behaves towards them and
reacts to them. She should greet such
women warmly, treat them gently and
speak softly to them. This is the
attitude adopted by the Prophet (PBUH)
and his Companions. Abu'l-Darda' (RAA)
said:
"We smile at
people even if in our hearts we are
cursing them."52
`Urwah ibn al-Zubayr
reported that `A'ishah told him:
"A man sought
permission to enter upon the Prophet
(PBUH), and he said, `Let him in, what
a bad son of his tribe (or bad brother
of his tribe) he is!' When the man
came in, the Prophet (PBUH) spoke to
him kindly and gently. I said: `O
Messenger of Allah, you said what you
said, then you spoke to him kindly.'
He said, `O `A'ishah, the worst of the
people in the sight of Allah (SWT) is
the one who is shunned by others or
whom people treat nicely because they
fear his sharp tongue.'"53
Being companionable,
friendly and kind towards people are
among the attributes of believing men
and women. Being humble, speaking gently
and avoiding harshness are approaches
that make people like one another and
draw closer to one another, as enjoined
by Islam, which encourages Muslims to
adopt these attitudes in their dealings
with others.
The true Muslim woman
is not swayed by her emotions when it
comes to love and hate. She is moderate,
objective, fair and realistic in her
treatment and opinions of those woman
whom she does not like, and allows
herself to be governed by her reason,
religion, chivalry and good attitude.
She does not bear witness except to the
truth, and she does not judge except
with justice, following the example of
the Mothers of the Believers, who were
the epitome of fairness, justice and
taqwa in their opinions of one
another.
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) was the closest of his
wives to the Prophet's heart, and her
main rival in this regard was Zaynab
bint Jahsh. It was natural for there to
be jealousy between them, but this
jealousy did not prevent either of them
from saying what was true about the
other and acknowledging her qualities
without undermining them.
In Sahih Muslim,
`A'ishah says of Zaynab:
"She was the one
who was somewhat equal in rank with me
in the eyes of the Messenger of Allah
(PBUH). I have never seen a woman
better in piety than Zaynab, or more
fearing of Allah (SWT), or more true
in speech, or more faithful in
upholding the ties of kinship, or more
generous in giving charity, or humble
enough to work with her hand s in
order to earn money that she could
spend for the sake of Allah (SWT).
However, she was hot-tempered and
quick to anger, but she would soon
cool down and then take the matter no
further."54
In Sahih Bukhari,
in the context of her telling of the
slander incident (al-ifk)
concerning which Allah (SWT) Himself
confirmed her total innocence, `A'ishah
referred to Zaynab's testimony
concerning her:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) asked Zaynab bint Jahsh
concerning me, saying: `O Zaynab, what
did you see? What have you learnt?'
She said, `O Messenger of Allah, I
protect my hearing and my sight (by
refraining from telling lies). I know
nothing but good about her.'"
Then `A'ishah said: "She is the
one who was my main rival, but Allah
(SWT) protected her (from telling
lies) because of her piety."55
Anyone who reads the
books of sirah and the
biographies of the Sahabah will
find many reports of the wives of the
Prophets which describe fairness and
mutual praise among co-wives.
Among these is Umm
Salamah's comment about Zaynab:
"Zaynab was very dear to the
Prophet (PBUH), and he liked to spend
time with her. She was righteous, and
frequently stood in prayer at night and
fasted during the day. She was skilled
(in handicrafts) and used to give
everything that she earned in charity to
the poor."
When Zaynab died,
`A'ishah said: "She has departed
praiseworthy and worshipping much, the
refuge of the orphans anwidows."56
When Maymunah died,
`A'ishah said: "By Allah (SWT),
Maymunah has gone. . . But by Allah
(SWT) she was one of the most pious of
us and one of those who was most
faithful in upholding the ties of
kinship."57
The wives of the
Prophet (PBUH) displayed this attitude
of fairness and justice towards co-wives
in spite of the jealousy, competition
and sensitivity that existed between
them. We can only imagine how great and
noble their attitude towards other women
was. By their behaviour and attitude,
they set the highest example for Muslim
woman of human co-existence that absorbs
all hatred by increasing the power of
reason and controls the strength of
jealousy - if it is present - by
strengthening the feelings of fairness,
good treatment and a sense of being
above such negative attitudes. Thus the
Muslim woman becomes fair towards those
women whom she does not like, regardless
of the degree of closeness between them,
fair when judging them, and wise,
rational and tactful in her treatment of
them.
She does not
rejoice in the misfortunes of others
The sincere Muslim
woman who is truly infused with Islamic
attitudes does not rejoice in the
misfortunes of anyone, because Schadenfreude
(malicious enjoyment of others'
misfortunes) is a vile, hurtful attitude
that should not exist in the God-fearing
woman who understands the teachings of
her religion. The Prophet (PBUH) forbade
this attitude and warned against it:
"Do not express
malicious joy at the misfortune of
your brother, for Allah (SWT) will
have mercy on him and inflict
misfortune on you."58
There is no room for Schadenfreude
in the heart of the Muslim woman in whom
Islam has instilled good manners.
Instead, she feels sorry for those who
are faced with trials and difficulties:
she hastens to help them and is filled
with compassion for their suffering. Schadenfreude
belongs only in those sick hearts that
are deprived of the guidance of Islam
and that are accustomed to plotting
revenge and seeking out means of harming
others.
She avoids
suspicion
Another attribute of
the true Muslim woman is that she does
not form unfounded suspicions about
anybody. She avoids suspicion as much as
possible, as Allah (SWT) has commanded
in the Qur'an:
( O you who believe!
Avoid suspicion as much [as possible]:
for suspicion in some cases is a sin .
. .) (Qur'an 49:12)
She understands that by
being suspicious of others she may fall
into sin, especially if she allows her
imagination free rein to dream up
possibilities and illusions, and accuses
them of shameful deeds of which they are
innocent. This is the evil suspicion
which is forbidden in Islam.
The Prophet (PBUH)
issued a stern warning against suspicion
and speculation that has no foundation
in reality. He (PBUH) said:
"Beware of
suspicion, for suspicion is the
falsest of speech."59
The Prophet (PBUH)
counted suspicion as being the falsest
of speech. The truly sincere Muslim
woman who is keen to speak the truth
always would never even allow words that
carry the stench of untruth to cross her
tongue, so how can she allow herself to
fall into the trap of uttering the
falsest of speech?
When the Prophet
(PBUH) warned against suspicion and
called it the falsest of speech, he was
directing the Muslims, men and women, to
take people at face value, and to avoid
speculating about them or doubting them.
It is not the attitude of a Muslim, nor
is it his business, to uncover people's
secrets, to expose their private
affairs, or to slander them. Only Allah
(SWT) knows what is in people's hearts,
and can reveal it or call them to
account for it, for only He knows all
that is secret and hidden. A man, in
contrast, knows nothing of his brother
except what he sees him do. This was the
approach of the Sahabah and Tabi`in
who received the pure and unadulterated
guidance of Islam.
`Abd al-Razzaq
reported from `Abdullah ibn `Utbah ibn
Mas`ud:
"I heard `Umar ibn
al-Khattab (RAA) say: `People who used
to follow the wahy (Revelation)
at the time of the Prophet (PBUH), but
now the wahy has ceased. So now
we take people at face value. If
someone appears good to us, we trust
him and form a close relationship with
him on the basis of what we see of his
deeds. We have nothing to do with his
inner thoughts, which are for Allah
(SWT) to judge. And if someone appears
bad to us, we do not trust him or
believe him, even if he tells us that
his inner thoughts are good."60
The true Muslim woman who
is adhering to that which will help her
to remember Allah (SWT) and do good
deeds, will exercise the utmost care in
every word she utters concerning her
Muslim sister, whether directly or
indirectly. She tries to be sure about
every judgement she makes about people,
always remembering the words of Allah
(SWT):
( And pursue not
that of which you have no knowledge;
for every act of hearing, or of
seeing, or of [feeling in] the heart
will be enquired into [on the Day of
Reckoning].) (Qur'an 17:36)
So she does not
transgress this wise and definitive
prohibition: she does not speak except
with knowledge, and she does not pass
judgement except with certainty.
The true Muslim woman
always reminds herself of the watching
angel who is assigned to record every
word she utters and every judgement she
forms, and this increases her fear of
falling into the sin of suspicion:
( Not a word does he
utter, but there is a sentinel by him,
ready [to note it].) (Qur'an
50:18)
The alert Muslim woman
understands the responsibility she bears
for every word she utters, because she
knows that these words may raise her to
a position where Allah (SWT) is pleased
with her, or they may earn her His
wrath, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"A man could utter
a word that pleases Allah (SWT), and
not realize the consequences of it,
for Allah (SWT) may decree that he is
pleased with him because of it until
the Day he meets Him. Similarly, a man
could utter a word that angers Allah
(SWT), and not realize the
consequences of it, for Allah (SWT)
may decree that He is angry with him
because of it until the Day of
Resurrection."61
How great is our
responsibility for the words we utter!
How serious are the consequences of the
words that our garrulous tongues speak
so carelessly!
The true Muslim woman
who is God-fearing and intelligent does
not listen to people's idle talk, or pay
attention to the rumours and speculation
that are rife in our communities
nowadays, especially in the gatherings
of foolish and careless women.
Consequently she never allows herself to
pass on whatever she hears of such
rumours without being sure that they are
true. She believes that to do so would
be the kind of haram lie that was
clearly forbidden by the Prophet (PBUH):
"It is enough
lying for a man to repeat everything
that he hears."62She refrains from
backbiting and
spreading malicious
gossip
The Muslim woman who
truly understands the teachings of Islam
is conscious of Allah (SWT), fearing Him
in secret and in the open. She carefully
avoids uttering any word of slander or
malicious gossip that could anger her
Lord and include her among those
spreaders of malicious gossip who are
severely condemned in the Qur'an and
Sunnah.
When she reads the
words of Allah (SWT):
( . . . Nor speak
ill of each other behind their backs.
Would any of you like to eat the flesh
of his dead brother? Nay, you would
abhor it . . . But fear Allah, for
Allah is Oft-Returning, Most
Merciful.) (Qur'an 49:12)
she is filled with
revulsion for the hateful crime of
gossip, which is likened to the eating
of her dead sister's flesh. So she
hastens to repent, as Allah (SWT)
commands at the end of the ayah,
encouraging the one who has fallen into
the error of backbiting to repent
quickly from it.
She aheeds the words
of the Prophet (PBUH), who said:
"The Muslim is the
one from whose tongue and whose hand
the Muslims are safe."63
So she feels that gossip
is a sin which does not befit the Muslim
woman who has uttered the words of the Shahadah,
and that the woman who is used to gossip
in social gatherings is not among the
righteous Muslim women.
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) said:
"I said to the
Prophet (PBUH), `It is enough for you
that Safiyyah is such-and-such.'"
Snarrators said that she meant she was
short of stature. The Prophet (PBUH)
said: "You have spoken a word
that, if it were to mixed with the
waters of the sea, it would
contaminate them."64
The Muslim woman pays
attention to the description of the
seven acts that may lead to a person's
condemnation, which the Prophet (PBUH)
called on people to avoid. In this list,
she finds something that is even worse
and more dangerous than mere gossip,
namely the slander of chaste, innocent
believing women, which is a sin that
some women fall into in their
gatherings:
"Avoid (the) seven
things that could lead to
perdition." It was asked, "O
Messenger of Allah, what are
they?" He said: "Shirk
[associating any partner with Allah
(SWT)]; witchcraft (sihr);
killing anyone for whom Allah (SWT)
has forbidden killing, except in the
course of justice; consuming the
wealth of the orphan; consuming riba
(usury); running away from the
battlefield; and slandering chaste and
innocent believing women."65
The Muslim woman who
truly understands this teaching takes
the issue of gossip very seriously, and
does not indulge in any type of gossip
or tolerate anyone to gossip in her
company. She defends her sisters from
hostile gossip and refutes whatever bad
things are being said about them, in
accordance with the words of the Prophet
(PBUH):
"Whoever defends
the flesh of his brother in his
absence, Allah (SWT) will save him
from the Fire."66
The true Muslim woman
also refrains from spreading malicious
gossip, because she understands the
dangerous role it plays in spreading
evil and corruption in society and
breaking the ties of love and friendship
between its members, as the Prophet
(PBUH) explained:
"The best of the
servants of Allah (SWT) are those who,
when they are seen, Allah (SWT) is
remembered (i.e., they are very
pious). The worst of the servants of
Allah (SWT) are those who spread
malicious gossip, cause division
between friends, and seek to cause
trouble for innocent people."67
It is enough for the
woman who spreads malicious gossip and
causes trouble between friends and
splits them up to know that if she
persists in her evil ways, there awaits
her humiliation in this life and a
terrible destiny in the next, as the
Prophet (PBUH) declared that the
blessings of Paradise will be denied to
every person who spreads malicious
gossip. This is stated clearly in the sahih
hadith:
"The one who
engages in malicious gossip will not
enter Paradise."68
What fills the believing
woman's heart with fear and horror of
the consequences of spreading malicious
gossip is the fact that Allah (SWT) will
pour His punishment upon the one who
engaged in this sin from the moment he
or she is laid in the grave. We find
this in the hadith which Bukhari, Muslim
and others narrated from Ibn `Abbas
(RAA):
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) passed by two graves, and
said: `They are being punished, but
they are not being punished for any
major sin. One of them used to spread
malicious gossip, and the other used
not to clean himself properly after
urinating.'" He (Ibn `Abbas)
said: "He called for a green
branch and split it in two, then
planted a piece on each grave and
said, `May their punishment be reduced
so long as these remain fresh.'"69She avoids cursing and
foul language
The Muslim woman who
has absorbed the good manners taught by
Islam never utters obscene language or
foul words, or offends people with
curses and insults, bacause she knows
that the moral teachings of Islam
completely forbid all such talk. Cursing
is seen as a sin that damages the
quality of a person's adherance to
Islam, and the foul-mouthed person is
intensely disliked by Allah (SWT).
Ibn Mas`ud (RAA) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `Cursing a Muslim is a
sin and killing him is kufr.'"70
The Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Allah (SWT) does
not love anyone who is foul-mouthed
and obscene."71
"Allah (SWT)
will hate the disgusting, foul-mouthed
person."72
It is a quality that does
not befit the Muslim woman who has been
guided by the truth of Islam and whose
heart has been filled with the sweetness
of faith. So she keeps far away from
disputes and arguments in which cheap
insults and curses are traded. The alert
Muslim woman is further encouraged to
avoid such moral decadence whenever she
remembers the beautiful example set by
the Prophet (PBUH) in all his words and
deeds. It is known that he never uttered
any words that could hurt a person's
feelings, damage his reputation or
insult his honour.
Anas ibn Malik (RAA),
who accompanied the Prophet (PBUH)
closely for many years, said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) never used foul language, or
cursed, or swore. When he wanted to
rebuke someone, he would say, `What is
wrong with him? May his forehead be
covered with dust!'"73
He even refrained from
cursing the kafirin who had
hardened their hearts to his message. He
never spoke a harmful word to them, as
the great Sahabi Abu Hurayrah
said:
"It was said: `O
Messenger of Allah, pray against the mushrikin.'
He said, `I was not sent as a curse,
but I was sent as a mercy.'"74
The Prophet (PBUH)
excelled in removing the roots of evil,
hatred and enmity in people's hearts
when he explained to the Muslims that
the one who gives his tongue free rein
in slandering people and their wealth
and honour is the one who is truly
ruined in this world and the next. His
aggressive attitude towards others will
cancel out whatever good deeds he may
have done in his life, and on the Day of
Judgement he will be abandoned, with no
protection from the Fire:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `Do you know who is the
one who is ruined? They said, `It is
the one who has no money or
possessions.' He said, `The one who is
ruined among my ummah is the
one who comes on the Day of
Resurrection with prayer, fasting and zakat
to his credit, but he insulted this
one, slandered that one, devoured this
one's wealth, shed that one's blood,
and beat that one. So some of his hasanat
will be given to this one and some to
that one. . . And if his hasanat
run out before all his victims have
been compensated, then some of their
sins will be taken and added to his,
then he will be thrown into
Hell.'"75
Not surprisingly,
therefore, all of this nonsense is
eliminated from the life of true Muslim
women. Disputes and arguments which
could lead to curses and insults are
rare in the community of true Muslim
women that is based on the virtues of
good manners, respect for the feelings
of others, and a refined level of social
interaction.
She does not make
fun of anybody
The Muslim woman whose
personality has been infused with a
sense of humility and resistance to
pride and arrogance cannot make fun of
anybody. The Qur'anic guidance which has
instilled those virtues in her also
protects her from scorning or despising
other women:
( O you who believe!
Let not some men among you laugh at
others: it may be that the [latter]
are better than the [former]: nor let
some women laugh at others: it may be
that the [latter] are better than the
[former]: nor defame nor be sarcastic
to each other, nor call each other by
[offensive] nicknames: ill-seeming is
a name connoting wickedness, [to be
used of one] after he has believed:
and those who do not desist are
[indeed] doing wrong.) (Qur'an
49:11)
The Muslim woman also
learns the attitude of modesty and
gentleness from the example of the
Prophet (PBUH), so she avoids being
arrogant and scorning or looking down on
others when she reads the words of the
Prophet (PBUH) as reported by Muslim,
stating that despising her fellow Muslim
women is pure evil:
"It is sufficient
evil for a man to despise his Muslim
brother."76She is gentle and kind
towards people
It is in the nature of
women to be gentle and kind, which is
more befitting to them. This is why
women are known as the "fairer
sex."
The Muslim woman who
has truly been guided by Islam is even
more kind and gentle towards the women
around her, because gentleness and
kindness are characteristics which Allah
(SWT) loves in His believing servants
and which make the one who possesses
them dear to others:
( Nor can Goodness
and Evil be equal. Repel [Evil] with
what is better: then will he between
whom and you was hatbecome as it were
your friend and intimate! And no one
will be granted such goodness except
those who exercise patience and
self-restraint - none but persons of
the greatest good fortune.)
(Qur'an 41:34-35)
Many ayat and ahadith
reinforce the message that gentleness
and kindness are to be encouraged and
that they are noble virtues that should
prevail in the Muslim community and
characterize every Muslim member of that
community who truly understands the
guidance of Islam. It is sufficient for
the Muslim woman to know that kindness
is one of the attributes of Allah (SWT)
that He has encouraged His servants to
adopt in all their affairs.
"Allah (SWT) is
Kind and loves kindness in all
affairs."77
Kindness is a tremendous
virtue which Allah (SWT) rewards in a
way unlike any other:
"Allah (SWT) is
kind and loves kindness, and He
rewards it in a way that He does not
reward harshness, and in a way unlike
any other."78
The Prophet (PBUH)
praised kindness, regarding it as an
adornment that beautifies and
encouraging others to adopt this trait:
"There is no
kindness in a thing but it makes it
beautiful, and there is no absence of
kindness in a thing but it makes it
repugnant."79
The Prophet (PBUH) taught
the Muslims to be kind in their dealings
with people, and to behave in an
exemplary manner as befits the Muslim
who is calling people to the religion of
Allah (SWT), the Kind and Merciful, no
matter how provocative the situation.
Abu Hurayrah (RAA)
said:
"A Bedouin
urinated in the mosque, and the people
got up to sort him out. But the
Prophet (PBUH) said, `Leave him be,
and throw a bucket of water over his
urine, for you have been raised to be
easy on people, not hard on
them.'"80
Kindness, gentleness and
tolerance, not harshness, aggression and
rebukes, are what open people's hearts
to the message of truth. The Prophet
(PBUH) used to advise the Muslims:
"Be cheerful, not
threatening, and make things easy, not
difficult."81
People are naturally put
off by rudeness and harshness, but they
are attracted by kindness and
gentleness. Hence Allah (SWT) said to
His Prophet (PBUH):
( . . . Were you
severe or harsh-hearted, they would
have broken away from about you.) (Qur'an
3:159)
This is an eternal
declaration that applies to every woman
who seeks to call other women to Islam.
She has to find a good way to reach
their hearts, for which purpose she
utilizes every means of kindness,
gentleness and tact at her disposal. If
she encounters any hostility or
resistance, then no doubt a kind word
will reach their hearts and have the
desired effect on the hearts of the
women she addresses. This is what Allah
(SWT) told His Prophet Musa (PBUH ) and
his brother Harun when He sent them to
Pharaoh:
( Go, both of you,
to Pharaoh, for he has indeed
transgressed all bounds; but speak to
him mildly; perchance he may take
warning or fear [Allah].) (Qur'an
20:43-44)
Not surprisingly,
kindness, according to Islam, is all
goodness. Whoever attains it has been
given all goodness, and whoever has been
denied it has been denied all goodness.
We see this in the hadith narrated by
Jarir ibn `Abdullah, who said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say:
`Whoever has been denied kindness has
been denied all goodness.'"82
The Prophet (PBUH)
explained that this goodness will be
bestowed upon individuals, households
and peoples when kindness prevails in
their lives and is one of their foremost
characteristics. We find this in the
hadith of `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased
with her) in which the Prophet (PBUH)
told her:
"O `A'ishah, be
kind, for if Allah (SWT) wills some
good to a household, He guides them to
kindness."83
According to another
report, he (PBUH) said:
"If Allah (SWT)
wills some good to a household, He
instils kindness in them."84
Jabir (RAA) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `If Allah (SWT) wills
some good to a people, He instils
kindness in them.'"85
What greater goodness can
there be than a characteristic that will
protect a man from Hell? As the Prophet
(PBUH) said in another hadith:
"Shall I not tell
you who shall be forbidden from the
Fire, or from whom the Fire will be
forbidden? It will be forbidden for
every gentle, soft-hearted and kind
person."86
The teachings of the
Prophet (PBUH) take man a step further,
by instilling in him the attitude of
kindness and requiring him to be kind
even to the animals he slaughters. This
is counted as one of the highest levels
that the pious and righteous may reach:
"Allah (SWT) has
prescribed proficiency87 in
all things. Thus if you kill, kill
well, and if you slaughter, slaughter
well. Let each one of you sharpen his
blade and let him spare suffering to
the animal he slaughters."88
Kindness to dumb animals
that are to be slaughtered is indicative
of the kindness of the man who
slaughters them, and of his mercy
towards all living creatures. The more a
person understands this and treats all
living creatures well, the more kind and
gentle a person he is. This is the
ultimate goal towards which Islam is
guiding the Muslim, so that he is kind
even to animals.
The true Muslim woman
can imagine the comprehensiveness of the
Islamic teachings enjoining kindness
upon the sons of Adam, when even animals
are included.
She is
compassionate and merciful
The Muslim woman who
truly understands the teachings of Islam
is compassionate and merciful, for she
understands that the compassion of
people on earth will cause the mercy of
heaven to be showered upon them. She
knows that the one who does not show
compassion towards others will not
receive the mercy of Allah (SWT), and
that the mercy of Allah (SWT) is not
withheld except from the one who is lost
and doomed, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Have compassion
on those who are on earth so that the
One Who is in heaven will have mercy
on you."89
"Whoever shoes
not show compassion to people, Allah
(SWT) will not show mercy to
him."90
"Compassion is
not taken away except from the one who
is doomed."91
The true Muslim woman
does not limit her compassion only to
her family, children, relatives and
friends, but she extends it to include
all people. This is in accordance with
the teachings of the Prophet (PBUH),
which include all people and make
compassion a condition of faith:
"You will not
believe until you have compassion
towards one another." They said,
"O Messenger of Allah, all of us
are compassionate." He said,
"It is not the compassion of any
of you towards his friend, but it is
compassion towards all people and
compassion towards the common
folk."92
This is comprehensive,
all-embracing compassion which Islam has
awoken in the hearts of Muslim men and
women, and made one of their
distinguishing characteristics, so that
the Muslim community - men and women,
rich and poor, all of its members - may
become an integrated, caring community
filled with compassion, brotherly love
and true affection.
The Prophet (PBUH) was
a brilliant example of sincere
compassion. If he heard a child crying
when he was leading the people in
prayer, he would shorten the prayer, out
of consideration for the mother's
feelings and concern for her child.
Bukhari and Muslim
report from Anas (RAA) that the Prophet
(PBUH) said:
"I commenced the
prayer, and I intended to make it
long, but I heard a child crying, so I
cut my prayer short because of the
distress I knew his mother would be
feeling."93
A Bedouin came to
the Prophet (PBUH) and asked, "Do
you kiss your sons? For we do not kiss
them." He said, "What can I
do for you when Allah (SWT) has
removed compassion from your
heart?"94
Prophet (PBUH)
kissed al-Hasan ibn `Ali when al-Aqra`
ibn Habis al-Tamimi was sitting with
him. Al-Aqra` said: "I have ten
children and I have never kissed any
of them." The Prophet (PBUH)
looked at him and said, "The one
who does not show compassion will not
be shown mercy."95
`Umar (RAA) wanted
to appoint a man to some position of
authority over the Muslims, then he
heard him say something like al-Aqra`
ibn Habis had said, i.e., that he did
not kiss his children. So `Umar
changed his mind about appointing him
and said, "If your heart does not
beat with compassion towards your own
children, how will you be merciful
towards thepeople? By Allah (SWT), I
will never appoint you." Then he
tore up the document he had prepared
concerning the man's appointment.
The Prophet (PBUH)
extended the feeling of mercy in the
hearts of Muslim men and women to cover
animals as well as humans. This is
reflected in a number of sahih ahadith,
such as that reported by Bukhari and
Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, in which the
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"A man was walking
along the road when he felt very
thirsty. He saw a well, so he went
down into it, drank his fill, then
came out. He saw a dog panting and
biting the dust with thirst, and said,
`This dog's thirst is as severe as
mine was.' So he went back down into
the well, filled his shoes with water,
held them in his mouth (while he
climbed out), and gave the dog water.
Allah (SWT) thanked him and forgave
him." They asked, "O
Messenger of Allah, will we be
rewarded for kindness towards
animals?" He said, "In every
living creature there is reward."96
Bukhari and Muslim also
narrate from Ibn `Umar that the Prophet
(PBUH) said:
"A woman was
punished because of a cat which she
locked up until it died of starvation.
She was thrown into Hell. It was said
- and Allah (SWT) knows best - `You
did not feed her or give her water
when you locked her up, neither did
you let her roam free so that she
could eat of the vermin of the
earth.'"97
The Prophet (PBUH)
reached such heights of mercy that
once, when he and his Companions
stopped in some place, a bird appeared
above his head, as if she were seeking
his help and complaining to him of the
wrongdoing of a man who had taken her
egg. He said, "Which of you has
distressed her by taking her
egg?" A man said, "O
Messenger of Allah, I have taken
it." The Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Put it back, out of mercy to
her."98
The Prophet (PBUH)
wanted, in this instance, to instil a
sense of all-encompassing mercy in the
conscience of the Muslims, men and women
alike, so that they would become
compassionate by nature, even to
animals, because whoever has the heart
to be kind to animals will not be harsh
towards his human brother.
The Prophet (PBUH) was
full of compassion towards humans and
animals alike. He never stopped
encouraging compassion among people, and
sought to instil it deeply in the hearts
of Muslim men and women, stating that it
was the key to Allah's (SWT) mercy,
forgiveness and reward. Allah (SWT)
would forgive those who were
compassionate, even if they were
sinners.
In Sahih Muslim,
Abu Hurayrah said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `A dog was walking
around a well, almost dying of thirst,
when a Jewish prostitute saw him. She
took off her shoe, brought water to
him and gave him to drink. She was
forgiven because of this deed."99
How great is the blessing
of compassion and mercy for mankind!
What beautiful attributes they are! It
is sufficient honour and status to know
that the Lord of Glory and Majesty
derived His own name from rahmah
(mercy, compassion), and is called al-Rahim,
al-Rahman.
She strives for
people's benefit and seeks
to protect them
from harm
The Muslim woman who
has been truly guided by Islam is keen
to be constructive and active in good
and beneficial deeds, not only for
herself, but for all people. So she
always looks for opportunities to do
good, and hastens to do as much as she
can, in obedience to the words of the
Qur'an:
( . . .And do good,
that you may prosper.)
(Qur'an 22:77)
She knows that doing good
to others is an act or worship, so long
as it is done purely for the sake of
Allah (SWT). The door to good deeds is
open to all Muslims, to enter whenever
they wish and earn the mercy and
pleasure of Allah (SWT). There are many
aspects to goodness and piety, and they
take many forms. Goodness includes all
those who work for the sake of Allah
(SWT), and any good deed that is done
for the sake of Allah (SWT) will be
rewarded as an act of charity (sadaqah)
in the record of their deeds:
"Every good deed
is a sadaqah."100
"A good word is
a sadaqah."101
The mercy of Allah (SWT)
encompasses every Muslim woman whose
heart is pure and whose intention is
sincerely to please Allah (SWT). It
applies to her if she does good, and if
she does not do good, so long as she
refrains from doing evil:
Abu Musa (RAA) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `Every Muslim must give
charity.' Someone asked, `What if he
finds he has nothing with which to
give charity?' He said, `Let him work
with his two hands and benefit himself
and give charity (from his earnings).'
Someone said, `What if he does not do
that?' He said, `Let him help one who
is in desperate need.' Someone said,
`What if he does not do that?' He
said, `Let him enjoin what is good.'
Someone said, `What if he does not do
that?' He said, `Let him refrain from
doing evil, and that will be an act of
charity.'"102
The Prophet (PBUH) began
this hadith with the words, "Every
Muslim must give charity," then he
went on to list various types of good
deeds and acts of kindness by means of
which a Muslim man or woman may earn
reward for doing charity. Charity is a
duty on the Muslim woman, that is, she
must undertake deeds that are socially
constructive in her community. If she is
unable to do so, or does not do so for
any reason, then at least she can
restrain her tongue and refrain from
doing evil; in this, too, there is
reward. Thus both her positive and
negative aspects (i.e., what she does
and what she does not do) will be
directed towards the service of the
truth upon which the Muslim community is
built. The Muslim is "the one from
whose tongue and hand the Muslims are
safe."103
So the Muslim woman is
always keen to do good, and hastens to
do it, hoping that she will be the one
to do it. She keeps away from evil, and
is determined never to indulge in it. In
this way she is one of the best Muslims
in the Muslim community, as the Prophet
(PBUH) said in the hadith narrated by
Imam Ahmad:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) stood up before some people who
were seated and said: `Shall I tell
you the best of you and the worst of
you?' The people were silent, so he
repeated it three times, then one man
said, `Yes, O Messenger of Allah.' He
said: `The best of you is the one from
whom people expect good deeds, and
from whose evil deeds people are safe;
the worst of you is the one from whom
people expect good deeds but from
whose evil deeds people are not
safe.'"104
The Muslim woman who
truly understands her Islam is one of
those from whom good deeds are expected
and from whose evil deeds people are
safe. She is eager to do good deeds in
this life, and she knows that her
efforts will not be wasted, as she will
be rewarded for it in this world and the
next:
"Whoever relieves
a believer of some of the distress of
this world, Allah (SWT) will relieve
him of some of the distress of the Day
of Resurrection, and whoever comes to
the aid of one who is going through
hardship, Allah (SWT) will come to his
aid in this world and the next."105
The Muslim woman never
spares any effort to do good deeds
whenever she is able. How could she do
otherwise, when she knows from the
teachings of the Prophet (PBUH) that
failing to do good when one is able to
do so carries the threat of losing the
blessings of Allah (SWT):
"Never does Allah
(SWT) bless a servant with abundant
bounty, then some needs of the people
are brought to his attention and he
feels annoyed and reluctant to help
them, but that blessing will be exposed
to the threat of loss."106
The Muslim woman does
not think little any good deed, no
matter how small it may be, so long as
it is accompanied by a sincere intention
to please Allah (SWT). Doing good may
consist of protecting the Muslims from
harm, as is brilliantly described in a
number of ahadith, for example:
"I have seen a man
who was enjoying the luxuries of
Paradise because he removed a tree
from the side of the road that used to
harm the people."107
There are two aspects to
doing good, and Muslims are obliged to
do both of them and to compete with one
another in earning the pleasure of Allah
(SWT) by doing them. They are: doing
good deeds and seeking to benefit the
people, and protecting the people from
harm.
Seeking to protect the
Muslims from harm is no less
importantthan doing good and working for
their benefit; both count as righteous
deeds for which a person will be reward.
All societies, no matter what their
geographical location or historical era,
need both of these deeds, operating in
tandem. When both are present, goodness
will spread in society, the ties of
friendship will be established between
its members, and their quality of life
will be much improved. This is what
Islam seeks to achieve when it
constantly encourages Muslims to do good
to people and to seek to protect them
from harm.
Among the teachings
which direct Muslim to protect others
from harm is the hadith narrated by Abu
Barzah, who said:
"I said, `O
Messenger of Allah, teach me something
that I may benefit from.' He said,
`Remove anything harmful from the path
of the Muslims."108
According to another
report, Abu Barzah said:
"O Messenger of
Allah, tell me of a deed that will
admit me to Paradise." The
Prophet (PBUH) said: "Remove
anything harmful from the road; this
will be an act of charity on your
part."
What a highly-developed,
civil community is the society that
Islam has built and instilled in each of
its members the idea that the good deeds
which will bring one closer to Allah
(SWT) and admit one to Paradise include
removing anything harmful from the path
of the people!
Humanity today is in
the greatest need of this
highly-developed, civil society that
Islam builds, in which every member
feels that his contribution to the good
of society will bring him closer to
Allah (SWT) and grant him entrance to
Paradise, even if his good deeds went no
further than removing something harmful
from the road. There is a huge
difference between the society which
forms sensitive souls such as these, who
cannot bear to see carelessness and
backwardness, and the society which pays
no attention to the development of its
members, so you see them not caring if
the garbage and hazardous waste that
they throw in the road harms people, and
the authorities in those backward
societies are obliged to issue laws and
regulations to punish those who commit
these offences.
How great is the
difference between the society that is
guided by Islam, whose members hasten to
remove anything harmful from the road in
obedience to Allah's command and in hope
of reward from Him, and the society
which has deviated from the guidance of
Allah (SWT), whose members do not care
on whom their garbage lands when they
throw it from their balconies, windows
and rooftops!
The civilized Western
world has managed to excel in such
matters of organization by making
individuals become accustomed to
respecting the system and following it
strictly. But this high level of social
organization in the West still falls far
short of the true Islamic ideal, for one
good reason: the Muslim who has received
a sound Islamic education is even
stricter and more sincere in adhering to
the system, because he believes that
stepping beyond the limits is an act of
disobedience towards Allah (SWT), Who
will punish him on the Day ( whereon
neither wealth nor sons will avail, but
only he [will prosper] that brings to
Allah a sound heart.) (Qur'an
26:88-89). Moreover, the Westerner does
not see anything seriously wrong with
transgressing the bounds of the system.
His conscience may or may not trouble
him, but there the matter ends,
especially if the authorities are
unaware of it.
She helps to
alleviate the burden of the debtor
The true Muslim woman
is distinguished by the nature of her
moral and psychological make-up, and by
her tolerant and easy-going personality.
So if she is owed anything by her sister
and her sister is in difficulty when the
time comes to pay the debt, she
postpones payment until another time,
until the period of hardship is over, in
obedience to the words of the Qur'an:
( If the debtor is
in difficulty, grant him time till it
is easy for him to repay . . . )
(Qur'an 2:280)
Postponing debts is a
generous attitude, one that is
encouraged by Islam because it brings
about humane standards in one's dealing
with one's brother, even if he is in
debt.
The Muslim woman who
is infused with this humane attitude of
postponing payment of her sister's debts
is acting in obedience to the commands
of Allah (SWT), storing up righteous
deeds for her Hereafter that will save
her from affliction on the Day of
Judgement and shade her in the shade of
Allah's Throne on the Day when there is
no other shade:
Abu Qutadah (RAA)
said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: Whoever
would like Allah (SWT) to save him
from the hardship of the Day of
Resurrection, let him alleviate the
burden of a debtor109, or
write off (part of the debt)."110
Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `Whoever allows a
debtor to postpone payment, or writes
off part of the debt, Allah (SWT) will
place him under the shade of His
Throne on the Day of Resurrection, the
Day when there will be no shade except
His.'"111
The true Muslim woman is
able to take the matter further and rise
to a higher level, if she is well-off,
by letting her sister off paying all or
part of the debt. This will earn her a
great reward, as Allah (SWT) will
compensate her for letting her sister
off by letting her off even more,
forgiving her for her errors and
shortcomings, and saving her from the
horror of the Day of Judgement.
Abu Hurayrah (RAA)
said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `There was a man
who used to lend money to the people.
He used to tell his employee: "If
you come across any debtor who is in
difficulty, let him off. Perhaps Allah
(SWT) will let us off." So when
he met Allah (SWT), He let him
off.'"112
Abu Mas`ud al-Badri (RAA)
said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `A man from among
those who were before you was called
to account, and no good deeds were
found in his record except that he
used to have dealings with the people,
and he was rich, so he used to tell
his employees to let off those debtors
who were in difficulty. Allah (SWT),
may He be glorified, said: "We
should be more generous than he, so
let him off."'"113
Hudhayfah (RAA) said:
"Allah (SWT)
brought to account one of His servants
to whom he had given wealth, and asked
him, `What did you do in the dunya?'
He said - and no-one can hide a single
thing from Allah (SWT) - `O my Lord,
you gave me wealth, and I used to
trade with people. It was my habit to
be lenient; I would be easy-going with
the one who could afford to pay his
debt, and I would allow the one who
was in difficulty to postpone
payment.' Allah (SWT) said, `I should
be more generous than you; let My
servant off.'" `Uqbah ibn `Amir
and Abu Mas`ud al-Ansari said,
"We heard something like this
from the mouth of the Prophet
(PBUH)."114She is generous
One of the
characteristics of the Muslim woman who
adheres to the teachings of Islam is
that she is generous and gives freely;
her hands are always stretched forth to
give to those who are in need. Whenever
she hears the call of one who is in
difficulty, or it is appropriate to give
generously, she responds to the need.
She is certain that
whatever she gives will not go to waste,
for it is recorded with One Who has full
knowledge of all things:
( . . . And whatever
of good you give, be assured that
Allah knows it well.) (Qur'an
2:273)
She also believes, when
she spends her money generously, that
whatever she spends will come back to
her manifold, and that Allah (SWT) will
multiply its rewain this world and the
next:
( The parable of
those who spend their substance in the
way of Allah is that of a grain of
corn: it grows seven ears, and each
ear has a hundred grains. Allah gives
manifold increase to whom He pleases:
and Allah cares for all and He knows
all things.) (Qur'an 2:261)
( . . . And
nothing do you spend in the least [in
His Cause] but He replaces it . . .) (Qur'an
34:39)
( . . . Whatever
of good you give benefits your own
souls, and you shall only do so
seeking the `Face'115 of
Allah. Whatever good you give, shall
be rendered back to you, and you shall
not be dealt with unjustly.) (Qur'an
2:272)
She also knows that if
she is not saved from the meanness of
her own nature and her desire to hoard
wealth and treasure, she will eventually
lher wealth and it will be wasted, as
the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Every morning
that the servants of Allah (SWT) get
up, two angels come down. One of them
says, `O Allah, give compensation to
the one who spends,' and the other
says, `O Allah, cause loss to the one
who is stingy.'"116
And in a hadith qudsi:
"Spend, O son of
Adam, and I shall spend on you."117
The true Muslim woman
believes that spending money for the
sake of Allah (SWT) will never decrease
her wealth in the slightest; rather, it
will bless, purify and increase it, as
the Prophet (PBUH) stated:
"Charity does not
decrease wealth . . ."118
She knows that
whatever she spends for the sake of
Allah (SWT) is in fact that which is
truly saved, because it is recorded in
the book of her good deeds, whilst
everything else will eventually
disappear. The Prophet (PBUH) drew the
Muslims' attention to this higher
understanding of generous giving when
he asked `A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) what was left of the
sheep they had slaughtered. She told
him, "Nothing but the
shoulder." He said,
"Everything except the shoulder
is saved."119
The true Muslim woman is
highly motivated by all of this to give
generously of whatever possessions and
goods come to her.
An example of giving
on the part of Muslim women is the
well-known report narrated by Bukhari
from Ibn `Abbas (RAA), who said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) went out on the day of `Eid and
prayed two rak`ahs with no
prayer before or after them (i.e., he
prayed only two rak`ahs). Then
he came to the women, and commanded
them to give in charity, so they
started to give their earrings and
necklaces in charity."120
According to another
report also given by Bukhari:
"He (PBUH) came to
the women and commanded them to give
in charity, so they began to throw
their rings into Bilal's cloak."121
A third report by
Bukhari, narrating from Ibn `Abbas
states that the Prophet (PBUH) prayed
two rak`ahs on the day of `Eid
with no prayer before or after them
(i.e., he prayed only two rak`ahs),
then he came to the women, and Bilal
was accompanying him; he commanded
them to give in charity, and the women
began to throw down their earrings.122
The wives of the Prophet
(PBUH) and the women of the salaf
set the highest example of generous
giving, and their deeds are recorded by
history in letters of light.
In his biography of
`A'ishah given in Siyar a`lam
al-nubala', al-Dhahabi states that
she gave seventy thousand dirhams
in charity, at the time when she was
putting patches on her shield.
Mu`awiyah sent her a
hundred thousand dirhams, and she
gave it all away in charity before
evening fell. Her servant said to her,
"Why did you not buy a dirham's
worth of meat with it?" She said,
"Why did you not tell me to do
so?"
Mu`awiyah also sent
her bracelets worth a hundred thousand,
which she shared out among the other
wives of the Prophet (PBUH).
Ibn al-Zubayr sent her
money in two containers, to the amount
of a hundred thousand. She called for a
large tray, and began to share the money
among the people. When evening came, she
said, "O young girl, bring me my fatur
(food with which to break fast),"
for she, (May Allah be pleased with
her), used to fast all the time. The
young girl said to her, "O Mother
of the Believers, could you not have
bought us a dirham's worth of
meat?" She said, "Do not
rebuke me; if you had reminded me I
would have done so."
Her sister Asma' was
no less generous. `Abdullah ibn
al-Zubayr (RAA) said: "I never saw
two women more generous than `A'ishah
and Asma', but their ways of being
generous were different. `A'ishah would
accumulate things and then share them
out, whilst Asma' would never keep
anything until the next day."
The Prophet's wife
Zaynab bint Jahsh used to work with
her own hands and give in charity from
her earnings. She was the most
generous of the Prophet's wives in
giving freely and doing good deeds.
According to a hadith narrated by Imam
Muslim from `A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her), the Prophet (PBUH)
told his wives about Zaynab: "The
first of you to join me (after death)
will be the one who has the longest
hand." `A'ishah said: "They
began to measure their hands against
one another to see who had the longest
hand, and the one who had the longest
hands of all of us was Zaynab, because
she used to work with her hands and
give charity from her earnings."123
`Umar ibn al-Khattab
(RAA) sent Zaynab her annual salary, and
when it was brought to her, she said:
"May Allah forgive `Umar! Others of
my sisters are more capable of sharing
this out than I am." They told her,
"This is all for you." She
said, "Subhan Allah! Pour it
out and cover it with a cloth."
Then she told Barzah bint Rafi`, the
narrator of this report: "Put your
hand in and take a handful of it, and
take it to Bani So-and-so and Bani
So-and-so" - who were orphans or
related to her. This was repeated until
there was only a little left under the
cloth. Barzah bint Rafi` said to Zaynab:
"May Allah forgive you, O Mother of
the Believers! By Allah (SWT), it is our
right to have some." Zaynab said:
"What is left under the cloth is
for you." (Barzah bint Rafi`) said
that they found eighty-five dirhams
under the cloth. Zaynab said, "O
Allah, do not let me live to receive
another payment like this from
`Umar," and she died before the
time for the next payment came.124
Ibn Sa`d reported that
when the money was brought to Zaynab,
she started saying, "O Allah, do
not let me see this money again next
year, for it is a fitnah
(temptation)." Then she shared it
out among her relatives and those who
were in need, until it was all gone.
`Umar (RAA) heard about this, and said,
"This women is destined for
good." He stood at her door and
conveyed his salam to her, then
said: "I have heard about what you
gave out to others. Send her a thousand dirhams
to keep for herself." But she did
the same thing with that money, and did
not even keep a single dirham or dinar
for herself.
Among the women to
whose generosity history bears witness
is Sakinah bint al-Husayn who would give
generously of whatever she had. If she
had no money, she would take off her own
jewellery and give it to those who were
destitute.
`Atikah bint Yazid ibn
Mu`awiyah gave up all of her money to
the poor members of Abu Sufyan's family.
Umm al-Banin, the
sister of `Umar ibn `Abd al-`Aziz, was a
marvellous example of generous giving.
She said, "Everyone has a passion,
and my passion is giving." She used
to free slaves every week, and equip
horsemen to fight for the sake of Allah
(SWT). She would say, "Uff
to stinginess! If it were a shirt I
would not wear it, and if it were a road
I would not follow it."125
Zubaydah, the wife of
the khalifah Harun al-Rashid, had
a channel dug to being water from
springs and rain-pools to Makkah, to
provide fresh water for the inhabitants
of the city and for the pilgrims. This
was named `Ayn Zubaydah (the
spring of Zubaydah), and was known as
one of the wonders of the world at that
time. When her treasurer objected to the
high cost of this project, she told him:
"Do it, even if every single blow
of the axe costs a dinar."
If we were to discuss
all the women in our history who were
pioneers of generous giving, we could
fill entire volumes. It is enough for us
to know that these kinds of generous,
charitable, believing women have never
disappeared from Muslim societie, from
the dawn of Islam until the present day.
In every era and region of the Islamic
world, these women have held a noble and
prominent position, and their generosity
is enshrined in the many awqaf, charitable
institutions, schools, mosques,
hospitals, etc., that exist throughout
the Muslim lands. These women sought out
areas of need, poverty, deprivation and
misery, and showered their generosity on
the less fortunate by establishing
charitable institutions that would
benefit the Muslims. They wiped away the
tears of the orphan, relieved the
suffering of the wretched, eased the
hardship of the afflicted and clothed
the body of the naked.
The Muslim woman who
truly understands the teachings of her
religion never looks down upon any
charitable deed, no matter how small it
may be; she strives to do as much as she
is able, firmin her conviction that
Allah (SWT) will reward her good deeds,
no matter how small, as Allah (SWT)
says:
( On no soul does
Allah place a burden greater than it
can bear... ) (Qur'an 2:286)
She also responds to the
words of the Prophet (PBUH):
"Protect yourselfs
from the Fire even if it is with half
a date"126
"O `A'ishah,
protect yourself from the Fire, even
if it is only with half a date, for it
can benefit a hungry person as much as
one who has enough to eat."127
The Muslim woman may give
charity with whatever she possesses of
the food she has at home or her
husband's money, so long as he is happy
for her to do so. In this case, she will
be rewarded for what she spends, her
husband will be rewarded for what he has
earned, and the treasurer will also be
rewarded, as is stated in a number of
hadith narrated by Bukhari, Muslim and
others, for example:
"If a women gives
in charity of the food of her house
(according to a report given by
Muslim: of the house of her husband),
without spending in such a way as
could cause ruin to her husband, then
she will be rewarded for what he
earns, and the treasurer will be
similarly rewarded, and the reward of
any one of them will not detract from
the reward of another."128
Islam wants the Muslims,
men and women, to be constructive,
beneficial members of their societies,
always helping those who are deprived
and destitute, to the best of their
abilities. Every good deed is described
as an act of charity (sadaqah), as the
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Every Muslim must
give charity." They said, "O
Messenger of Allah, what if he cannot
do that?" He said, "Then let
him help one who is in desperate
need." He said, "Then let
him do good, and refrain from doing
evil, and that will be an act of
charity on his part."129
Islam has opened wide the
doors of good deeds to men and women,
rich and poor alike, so that anyone may
have the opportunity to do good.
Everyone who has uttered the words of
the Shahadah is required to do good
deeds, which have been termed sadaqah.
The poor person need not feel that he is
deprived of the chance to take part in
doing good in society just because he
has little or no money. Every good deed
or favour is described as a sadaqah,
and the poor man or woman will be
rewarded for a good deed just as a rich
man or woman will be rewarded for money
spent generously:
"Every good deed
is sadaqah."130
Thus Islam guarantees
that all members of a society will
participate in building, serving and
improving it, and that all of them will
feel the satisfaction of this
participation which will give them back
their pride and honour and will bring
about their reward.
The generous Muslim
woman gives to the poor and needy who
are too proud to ask for help, which
makes people think that hey are free
from want. She tries to seek them out as
much as she is able, for they are the
first people who should be given help.
These are the ones to whom the Prophet
(PBUH) referred when he said:
"The poor man is
not the one who takes a date or two,
or a mouthful or two, then turns away.
The poor man is the one who is too
proud to ask for anything."131
The Muslim woman gives in
charity to orphans as much as she is
able. If she is well-off, she sponsors
an orphan and help to bring him up and
educate him, spending on him and taking
care of him, hoping for the high status
that Allah (SWT) has prepared for the
one who sponsors an orphan, which is the
status of being in the vicinity of the
Prophet (PBUH) in Paradise:
"I and the one who
sponsors an orphan will be like this
in Paradise," and he held up his
index and middle fingers and held them
apart."132
The Muslim woman also
strives to help the widow and the poor,
following the guidance of her religion,
which has promised a great reward to the
one who takes care of them, a reward
that rivals that earned by the one who
fasts during the day and stands in
prayer a night, or the one who fights
for the sake of Allah (SWT), as the
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"The one who
strives to help the widow and the poor
is like the one who fights in jihad
for the sake of Allah (SWT)." And
I [the narrator] believe he also said:
"and like the one who stands at
night in prayer without rest and fasts
continually without breaking his
fast."133
Taking care of widows and
the poor, and sponsoring orphans, are
among the most noble of humane deeds,
and are most befitting to the Muslim
woman, as they increase her in humanity,
honour and gentility.
She does not remind
the beneficiaries
her charity
If Allah (SWT) enables
the Muslim woman to give generously, she
should not fall into the sin of
reminding people of her generosity or
harming them; she should be keen to keep
her giving pure and sincerely for the
sake of Allah (SWT), so that she will be
one of those whom Allah (SWT) has
described in the Qur'an:
( Those who spend
their substance in the cause of Allah,
and follow not up their gifts with
reminders of their generosity or with
injury - for them their reward is with
their Lord; on them shall be no fear,
nor shall they grieve.) (Qur'an
2:262)
The Muslim woman does not
forget that there is nothing more likely
to cancel out good deeds and destroy the
reward of charity than reminding other
of it or harming them. Allah (SWT) warns
the believers against these deeds in
such a way that the believer is shaken
and would not even think of reminding
others of his charity or harming them:
( O you who believe!
Cancel not your charity by reminders
of your generosity or by injury. . .)
(Qur'an 2:264)
Reminding the poor man
whom need has compelled to accept aid
from others is humiliating and
disrespectful. It is forbidden by Islam,
which counts the one who gives and the
one who takes as brothers, between whom
there is no difference except in their taqwa
and good deeds. A brother does not
remind his brother of his charity; he
does not humiliate him or cause him to
lose face. In a hadith narrated by
Muslim from Abu Dharr, the Prophet
(PBUH) issued a strong warning to those
who remind others of their charity, and
counted them among those doomed souls to
whom Allah (SWT) will not even speak on
the Day of Judgement:
"There are three
to whom Allah (SWT) will not speak on
the Day of Resurrection, nor look at,
nor commend them, and theirs will be a
severe punishment." The Messenger
of Allah (PBUH) repeated this three
times. Abu Dharr said, "They are
truly lost and doomed. Who are they, O
Messenger of Allah?" He said,
"The one who lets his garment
trail below his ankles (out of pride),
the one who reminds people of his
charity, and the one who sells his
goods by means of making false
oaths."134She is patient
The Muslim woman who
is truly guided by Islam and who is
infused with its noble characteristics
trains herself to be patient, to control
her anger, to forgive and to respond to
an evil deed with something better, in
accordance with the words of the Qur'an:
( ... Who restrain
anger, and pardon [all] men-for Allah
loves those who do good.) (Qur'an
3:134)
( Nor can
Goodness and Evil be equal. Repel
[Evil] with what is better: then will
he between whom and you was hatred
become as it were your friend and
intimate! And no one will be granted
such goodness except those who
exercise patience and self-restraint -
none but persons of the greatest good
fortune.) (Qur'an 41:34-35)
Selfrestraint at the time
of anger, and adopting a calm and
patient attitude, are among the most
beautiful qualities of Muslim men and
women that Allah (SWT) loves to see in
His believing servants. This is what was
stated by the Prophet (PBUH) in the
hadith narrated by Ibn `Abbas (RAA):
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said to Ashajj `Abd al-Qays:
`You have two qualities that Allah
(SWT) loves: patience and
deliberation."135
Hence the Prophet
(PBUH) told the man who came asking
him to advise him in just one word:
"Do not become angry." The
man repeated his request for advice
several times, and each time the
Prophet (PBUH) said: "Do not
become angry."136
The Muslim woman may
become angry sometimes, but her anger is
for the sake of Allah (SWT), not for her
own sake. She may become angry when she
sees carelessness, wilful neglect and
downright insolence towards matters of
religamong women. She has the right to
be angry in such situations. This is how
the Prophet (PBUH) used to be, as
Bukhari and Muslim narrated:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) never took revenge for his own
sake, but if the laws of Allah (SWT)
were violated, he would take revenge
for the sake of Allah (SWT)."137
The Prophet (PBUH) used
to become furious, and his face would
redden, if he heard some insult to the
reputation of Islam, or if he discovered
some error or negligence in applying its
laws and carrying out its punishments.
He became furious the
day a man came to him and said,
"I always come late to salat
al-subh (fajr prayer) because of
So-and-so, who always makes the prayer
too lenghty." The Prophet (PBUH)
was never seen as angry in his rebuke
as he was on that day. He said,
"O people, there are among you
those who put others off from good
deeds. When anyone leads the people in
prayer, he should keep it short, for
behind him are the old, the young, and
the one who has a pressing need."138
He also became angry
the day he returned from a journey and
found a thin curtain covered with
pictures in `A'ishah's house. When he
saw it, he tore it down and his face
reddened. He told her: "O
`A'ishah, the people who will be most
severely punished by Allah (SWT) on
the Day of Resurrection will be those
who imitate the creation of Allah
(SWT)."139
He also became angry
when Usamah ibn Zayd spoke to him
concerning the Makhzumi woman who had
committed theft, and the Prophet
(PBUH) had decreed that the
appropriate punishment be carried out
on her. The people said, "Who
will speak to the Prophet (PBUH) about
her?" Then they said, "Who
dares to do this but Usamah ibn Zayd,
his beloved?" So Usamah spoke to
him, and the Prophet (PBUH) said
angrily, "Are you interceding to
stop one of the punishments ordained
by Allah (SWT)?" Then he got up
and addressed the people: "Those
who came before you were destroyed
because when one of their noblemen
committed theft, they let him off, but
when one of the weak among them
committed theft, then they would carry
out the punishment on him. By Allah
(SWT), if Fatimah the daughter of
Muhammad were to commit theft, I would
cut off her hand."140
Such was the anger of the
Prophet (PBUH), and these are the valid
reasons for anger according to Islam.
Anger should be for the sake of Allah
(SWT), not one's own ego.
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam and
follows the example of the Prophet
(PBUH) always keeps his teachings,
behavior and deeds in mind, so she
controls herself when she feels angry
with people, and her anger is only for
the sake of Allah (SWT), His religion
and the sanctity of His laws.
She is easy-going
and does not
bear grudges
The Muslim woman does
not bear grudges, and resentment has no
room in her heart, because Islam has
uprooted hatred from her heart,
extinguished the flames of anger,
cleansed her soul of enmity, and planted
the seeds of sisterly love, tolerance
and forgiveness.
Islam has
uncompromisingly declared war on
ignorance, tribalism, hostility, enmity
and revenge, and has made forgiveness,
tolerance, love and kindness dear to the
hearts of Muslim men and women. Allah
(SWT) says:
( ... Who restrain
anger, and pardon all men - for Allah
loves those who do good.) (Qur'an
3:134)
This is praise for those
who restrain their anger and do not bear
grudges, who have raised themselves to
the level of forgiveness and tolerance,
which is a high level indeed, and very
difficult to attain. None can reach it
except those who are pure of heart and
have shed the inclination towards
hostility, enmity and revenge and thus
earned the right to reach the level of
ihsan, and Allah (SWT) loves those
who do good (al-muhsinun).
Through this noble
teaching, Islam was able to penetrate
the hearts of the believers, and cleanse
and purify them, so that hearts that had
been dominated by anger and hatred
became hearts that were filled with love
and devotion.
One of the most
striking examples of this miraculous
change of heart is the story of Hind
bint `Utbah, whose heart before she
embraced Islam was filled with the
poison of hatred and enmity towards the
Prophet (PBUH) and his family and
companions. On the day of the Conquest
of Makkah, the Prophet (PBUH) even
declared that her blood might be shed
with impunity, as a punishment for her
having mutilated the body of his uncle
Hamzah (RAA) on the day of Uhud. When we
embraced Islam and faith penetrated deep
into her heart, she came to the Prophet
(PBUH) and said: "O Messenger of
Allah, there was no family on earth that
I would have loved to see humiliated
more than your family, but from this day
on, there is no family on earth I would
love to see honoured more than your
family."141
For the sake of Allah
(SWT) and His Religion, blood feuds will
be forgotten, hostility will vanish,
those who previously hated one another
will become friends, and the inclination
towards enmity will be uprooted.
In the most brilliant
fashion, the Qur'an raises the human
soul to this difficult, high level. It
states that the one who has been treated
unjustly has the right to defend himself
and resist oppression (an eye for an
eye), but it does not allow the one who
has been wronged to be overtaken by the
desire for revenge. Rather, it gently
leads him or her towards the level of
patience, tolerance and forgiveness, and
states that this is something that takes
a great deal of determination and
willpower:
( And those who,
when an oppressive wrong is inflicted
on them, [are not cowed but] help and
defend themselves. The recompense for
an injury is an injury equal thereto
[in degree]: but if a person forgives
and makes reconciliation, his reward
is due from Allah: for Allah loves not
those who do wrong.
But indeed if any
do help and defend themselves after a
wrong [done] to them, against such is
no cause of blame. The blame is only
against those who oppress men with
wrongdoing and insolently transgress
beyond bounds through the land,
defying right and justice: for such
there will be a Penalty grievous.
But indeed if any
show patience and forgive, that would
truly be an exercise of courageous
will and resolution in the conduct of
affairs.) (Qur'an
42:39-43)
When Abu Bakr (RAA) was
overwhelmed with sorrow because of the
slander he heard uttered against his
daughter `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased
with her), he vowed to himself to cut
off his help to those ungrateful
recipients of his bounty who had joined
in the sinful gossip. But Allah, Who
knew the purity of Abu Bakr's heart and
his devotion to Allah (SWT) and His
Messenger, did not allow him to be taken
over by the desire for revenge that
crossed his mind, so He guided him back
towards his essential good nature and
purity of heart, and motivated him to
strive for the higher level of tolerance
and forgiveness:
( Let not those
among you who are endued with grace
and amplitude of means resolve by oath
against helping their kinsmen, those
in want, and those who have left their
homes in Allah's cause: Let them
forgive and overlook, do you not wish
that Allah should forgive you? For
Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most
Merciful.) (Qur'an 24:22)
Interactions between
individuals in an Islamic society that
is founded on the brotherhood of faith
are not based on an attitude of watching
for counting mistakes, or the desire for
revenge, or defensiveness; they are
based on brotherhood, overlooking errors
and tolerance. This is what Islam and
the brotherhood of faith call for:
( Nor can Goodness
and Evil be equal. Repel [Evil] with
what is better: then will he between
whom and you was hatred become as it
were your friend and intimate! And no
one will be granted such goodness
except those who exercise patience and
self-restraint - none but persons of
the greatest good fortune.) (Qur'an
41: 34-35)
If evil is always repaid
with evil, the result will be intense
hatred and bitter grudges. But if evil
is repaid with good, it will extinguish
the fires of hatred, calm people down,
and remove their grudges. The two women
who were enemies will become true
friends when one of them speaks a kind
word or smiles compassionately at the
other. This is a great victory for the
one who evil with something better, and
turned enmity into friendship, hatred to
love. No one attains this but persons of
the greatest good fortune, as the Qur'an
states. Such a person responds to the
evil she faces with a measure of
patience and self-control, and repels it
with something good.
This is the attitude
of true believing women in a Muslim
community that is based on love,
friendship and tolerance. Many ayat
and hadith reinforce this message and
seek to instill this attitude in
believers' hearts, always training them
to adopt that attitude of forgiveness
that will leave no trace of hatred,
resentment or malice:
( . . . So overlook
[any human faults] with gracious
forgiveness.) (Qur'an 15:85)
The Prophet (PBUH), by
his words and deeds, was a living
example of this worthy human virtue of
tolerance and forgiveness, and he urged
others to adopt it also.
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) never struck any person, woman
or servant with his hand, except when
he was fighting in the way of Allah
(SWT), and he never took offence at
anything and sought revenge for it,
except when one of the laws of Allah
(SWT) had been violated, and then he
would take revenge for the sake of
Allah (SWT)."142
He (PBUH) used to follow
the commands of Allah (SWT):
( Hold to
forgiveness; command what is right;
but turn away from the ignorant.) (Qur'an
7:199)
By the following the
command of Allah (SWT),
( . . . Repel Evil
with what is better . . . )
(Qur'an 41:34)
the Prophet (PBUH) was a
unique example of this sublime attitude,
which encompassed and appealed to all
people. He did not repay their evil with
evil, rather he repelled it with an
attitude of forgiveness and good
manners, turning away from the ignorant
and repelling evil with something
better.
Anas (RAA) said:
"I was walking
with the Messenger of Allah (PBUH),
and he was wearing a Najrani cloak
with a stiff collar. A Bedouin came up
to him and grabbed him roughly, and I
looked at the Prophet's shoulder and
saw the mark left by his collar
because of this rough approach. Then
the Bedouin said, `O Muhammad, order
that I be given some of the wealth of
Allah (SWT) that you have!' The
Prophet (PBUH) turned to him and
smiled, then ordered that he be given
something."143
The attitude of
forgiveness was so deeply entrenched
in his noble heart that he even
forgave the Jewish woman who sent him
poisoned mutton, as Bukhari, Muslim
and others narrate. This Jewish woman
sent a gift of poisoned mutton to the
Prophet (PBUH), and he and a group of
his Companions began to eat it, then
he said, "Stop! It is
poisoned!" The woman was brought
to the Prophet (PBUH) and he asked
her, " What made you do
that?" She said: "I wanted
to know if you were really a Prophet,
in which case Allah (SWT) would warn
you and the poison would not harm you.
If you were not a Prophet, then we
would have been rid of you." The
Companions asked, "Shall we kill
her?" He said, "No,"
and forgave her.144
When the tribe of
Daws rebelled and refused to follow
the commands of Allah (SWT) and His
Messenger, al-Tufayl ibn `Amr al-Dawsi
came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said,
"Daws have rebelled, so pray to
Allah (SWT) against them." The
Prophet (PBUH) faced the qiblah and
raised his hands, and the people said,
"They are finished!" But the
Prophet (PBUH), who was merciful and
tolerant, and did not want to see the
punishment of Allah (SWT) befall
people, prayed for Daws, saying,
"O Allah, guide Daws and bring
them here; O Allah, guide Daws and
bring them here; O Allah, guide Daws
and bring them here."145
The Prophet (PBUH)
instilled in people's hearts the
attitude of always forgiving and being
tolerant, even when faced with harshness
and being boycotted. With the deep
insight with which Allah (SWT) had
endowed him, he understood that people
respond better to tolerance than to
harshness.
Therefore when `Uqbah
ibn `Amir asked him, "O Messenger
of Allah, tell me the best of
deeds," he told him, "O
`Uqbah, maintain ties with the one who
cuts you off, give to the one who
deprives you, and do not seek revenge
on the one who wrongs you."
According to another report, he said,
"Forgive the one who wrongs
you."146
The Mothers of the
Believers, (May Allah be pleased with
them) also adopted this sublime
attitude. An example of this is the
attitude of Safiyyah (May Allah be
pleased with her) towards her female
slave who went to the khalifah
`Umar ibn al-Khattab and said, "O Amir
al-Mu'minin, Safiyyah loves the
Sabbath (Saturday) and maintains ties
with the Jews." `Umar sent for
Safiyyah and questioned her about that.
She replied: "As far as the Sabbath
is concerned, I have not love it since
Allah (SWT) replaced it with Jumu`ah
(Friday) for me. As for the jews, I have
relatives among them with whom I uphold
the ties of kinship." Then she
turned to her slave and asked her what
had made her tell such a lie. The slave
woman answered, "Shaytan."
Safiyyah distinguished herself by
responding to evil with something
better. She told the slave woman:
"Go, you are free."147
No doubt Safiyyah was
one of those to whom the words of the
Qur'an applied:
( Nor can Goodness
and Evil be equal. Repel [Evil] with
what is better: then will he between
whom and you was hatred become as it
were your friend and intimate! And no
one will be granted such goodness
except those who exercise patience and
self-restraint - none but persons of
the greatest good fortune.) (Qur'an
41:34-35)
She was most certainly a
person of the greatest good fortune.
She is easy on
people, not hard
The Muslim woman who
truly understands the teachings of Islam
is easy on people, not hard, because
making things easy for others is the
best attitude that Allah (SWT) likes to
see in His believing servants:
( . . . Allah
intends every facility for you; He
does not want to put you to
difficulties . . . ) (Qur'an
2:185)
Therefore the Prophet
(PBUH) encouraged the Muslims to be easy
on people, and forbade them to make
things difficult:
"Teach and make
things easy, do not make them
difficult. If any of you becomes
angry, let him keep silent."148
The woman who resorts to
making things difficult and complicating
matters when the teachings of Islam are
so clear is a woman who is neither pious
nor sound; nobody does such a thing
except the one whose nature is twisted
wand mean-spirited and whose education
is lacking. The Muslim woman who is
straightforward and is obedient to Allah
(SWT) and the teachings of Islam does
not like to cause difficulties or
complicate matters. In this way he is
following the example of the Prophet
(PBUH) whom `A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) described as follows:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) was never faced with the
choice between two things but he took
the easier of the two, so long as it
was not a sin. If it was a sin, he
would be the furthest of the people
from it. And the Messenger of Allah
(PBUH) never took revenge for himself,
but if the bounds of Allah (SWT) were
transgressed, then he would take
revenge for the sake of Allah
(SWT)."149
The true Muslim woman
adheres to the teachings of the Prophet
(PBUH); she does not go beyond the
limits set by him, or disobey his
commands.
She is not envious
How often does the
ordinary women fall into the sin of en,
when she sees many of those who are
inferior to her in beauty, knowledge
land intelligence wallowing in riches
and luxury when she does not even have
the smallest part of what they enjoy?
The alert, truly-guided Muslim woman,
however, is saved from stumbling into
such error because she has learnt, from
the teachings of Islam, that everything
that happens in life happens according
to the will and decree of Allah (SWT).
The pleasures of this life, no matter
how great, are as nothing in comparison
to the reward that Allah (SWT) has
prepared for those believing women who
are content with what Allah (SWT) has
given them. The true value of a woman
rests in her level of taqwa and
good deeds, not in her transient worldly
earnings. The more these values are
reinforced in the woman's soul, the
purer and more tranquil her soul
becomes, and she will become one of the
people of Paradise who have earned the
pleasure of Allah(SWT), even if her acts
are worship are few. Imam Ahmad
reported, with a sahih isnad from
Anas ibn Malik:
"We were sitting
with the Prophet (PBUH) and he said,
`One of the people of Paradise will
now come to you,' and a man of the Ansar
came along, his beard dripping
from his wudu', and carrying
his sandals in his left hand. The next
day, the Prophet (PBUH) said the same
thing, and the same man appeared,
looking the same as he had on the
previous day. On the third day, the
Prophet (PBUH) again said the same
thing, and the same man appeared
again. When the Prophet (PBUH) left,
`Abdullah ibn `Amr ibn al-`As followed
the man and said, `I have fallen out
with my father and sworn that I will
not enter his house for three (days),
and I thought that I could stay with
you until the time is up.' He said,
`That's fine.'" Anas said:
`"Abdullah used to tell how he
stayed with him for those three nights
and never saw the man get up to pray
at night, but when he awoke and turned
over in his sleep, he would mention
Allah (SWT) and say `Allahu akbar,'
until he got up for salat al-fajr.
`Abdullah said: `But I never heard him
say anything but good. When the three
days were over and I had begun to
think that his deeds were nothing
remarkable, I said, "O servant of
Allah! There was no quarrel between me
and my father, but I heard the Prophet
(PBUH) say three times, `One of the
people of Paradise will come to you,'
and you appeared each time, so I
wanted to come and stay with you to
see what you did, so that I could
follow your example, but I did not see
you do anything out of the ordinary.
What is it that has raised you to such
a great status as the Prophet (PBUH)
said?" The man said, "It is
only what you have seen." When I
turned away, he called me back and
said, "It is only what you have
seen, but I do not hold anything
against any Muslim in my heart, and I
do not envy anyone for the blessings
that Allah (SWT) has bestowed on
him." `Abdullah said: `This is
what raised you to that great status,
and this is what we could not
achieve.'"150
This hadith indicates the
effects of having a heart that is free
of hatred, envy, malice and treachery,
and its impact on deciding a person's
fate in the Hereafter, raising his
status in the sight of Allah (SWT) and
making his deeds acceptable, even if
they are few. These effects can be
clearly seen in the example of this man
whose acts of worship were few, but he
would enter Paradise because of the
purity of his heart and the fact that
people were safe from harm on his part.
These effects are in direct contrast
with the woman about whom the Prophet
(PBUH) was asked; although she spent her
nights in prayer and her days in
fasting, she used to insult and mistreat
her neighbours, so the Prophet (PBUH)
said: "She will be in Hell."151
The person who weighs
heavily in the balance of Islam (i.e.,
is successful) is the one whose heart is
always pure and free from hatred,
malice, envy and resentment, even if his
acts of worship are few. A person who
performs many acts of worship when his
or her heart is filled with feelings of
resentment, envy and hatred, is merely
performing an outward, mechanical action
that clearly has no solid foundation of
faith. Hence it has no effect in
purifying his soul of envy which the
Prophet (PBUH) stated does not belong in
the heart of the one who has true faith:
"Faith and envy do
not go together in the heart of the
believer."152
Damurah ibn Tha`labah
(RAA) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `The people will do
fine so long as they do not envy one
another.'"153
The true Muslim woman is
the one who combines proper worship with
purity of heart, uncontaminated by envy,
malice and hatred. In this way she may
scale the heights of true taqwa and
attain a high status in the sight of
Allah (SWT), and also earn the love and
respect of other people in this world.
Thus she will become a solid brick in
the structure of a pure, cohesive Muslim
community that deserves to carry the
message of Allah (SWT) to mankind.
She avoids boasting
and seeking fame
Among the attributes
of the Muslim woman who understands and
follows the teachings of Islam are her
humility, truthfulness and realistic
approach. She does not have an attitude
of superiority, self-admiration and
telling lies, and she does not claim to
have more than she actually has in order
to show off to her friends and peers
under false pretences.
She tries to avoid
such unpleasant habits, because they do
not befit the nature of a woman whose
personality has been moulded by the
principles of Islam. A woman came to the
Prophet (PBUH) asking whether she would
be permitted to say that her husband had
given her something which he had not
given her, in order to boast and show
off. The Prophet (PBUH) replied:
"The one who
creates a false impression of having
been given something which he was not
given is like the one who wears the
garment of falsehood."154
Islam is a religion that
is based on sincerity, purity, humility
and realism; it abhors deception,
haughtiness, arrogance, conceit and
false claims. So it hates to see its
followers boasting under false
pretences, looking down on other, or
hoarding wealth for love of fame. It
sharply criticizes those who adopt such
attitudes, just as it rebukes the one
who wears the garment of falsehood.
Her speech is not
exaggerated
or affected
The true Muslim is
natural in her behavior and conduct; she
does not exaggerate or affect her speech
in order to attract attention, because
these are sickening, hateful attributes
that do not exist in people of sound
nature. Only those who are twisted or
whose sound nature is lacking speak in
an exaggerated or affected manner. For
this reason the Prophet (PBUH) was very
harsh on those men and women who
exaggerate in their speech, and after
his death, Abu Bakr and `Umar were
similarly harsh on them, to the extent
that `Abdullah ibn Mas`ud said:
"By Him besides
Whom there is no other god, I never
saw anyone who was harsher on those
who exaggerate in their speech than
the Messenger of Allah (PBUH), and I
never saw anyone who was harsher on
them after his death than Abu Bakr,
and I think that `Umar feared the most
for them of all people on earth."155She has a likeable
personality
The Muslim woman is
keen to be like by others, through her
good deeds and through the positive
effect she has on them, as well as by
having a good reputation in society.
People's love for her
is a sign that Allah (SWT) loves her
too, because in this case He opens
people's hearts to her and makes her
accepted and well-liked by everyone she
meets or she hear about her. Concerning
this, the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"When Allah (SWT)
loves a person, he calls Jibril and
says: `I love So-and-so, so love him.'
So Jibril will love him, and will call
out in the heavens: `Allah (SWT) loves
So-and-so, so love him.' Then the
people of heaven will love him, and he
will be well-accepted on earth. If
Allah (SWT) hates a person, he calls
Jibril and says: `I hate So-and-so, so
hate him., So Jibril will hate him,
and will call out in the heavens:
`Allah (SWT) hates So-and-so, so hate
him.' Then the people of heaven will
hate him, and he will be despised on
earth."156
This is the unseen,
divreason why some Muslim men and women
enjoy the love of others towards them.
It is the love of Allah (SWT) which He
has spread among the people of heaven
and earth, and makes those fortunate
people will-accepted on earth, or else
His hatred causes them to be despised on
earth.
No-one can earn the
love of Allah (SWT) except the one who
turns to Him seeking His pleasure, and
no-one earns His hatred except the one
who turns away from His guidance and
disobeys Him.
The good news of
Allah's love and pleasure is given only
to believing men and women, those who
believe and do good works, which are
commended by other people. Allah (SWT)
will hasten to bring them glad tidings
in their own lifetimes, so He causes
people to praise them and love them, as
is seen in the sahih hadith
narrated by Muslim from Abu Dharr, who
said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) was asked, `What do you think
of a man who does a good deed, and
people praise him for it? He said,
`That is gtidings for the believer
that he has received in this
world." According to another
report also narrated by Muslim:
"and the people love him for
it."157
The Muslim woman who has
the best characteristics and is adhering
to the limits set by Allah (SWT), doing
what He commands and avoiding what He
forbids, is the woman who deserves to
receive these glad tidings in this
world. She deserves to be loved by
everyone who knows her or hears of her
good deeds, such as tolerance, turning
away form ignorant women, responding to
evil with good, helping the poor and
destitute, wanting the best for others,
denying herself, speaking the truth,
refraining from talking unnecessarily,
being fair in her judgement and
treatment of others, avoiding malicious
gossip and hurting others, and other
righteous attitudes and virtues that
Islam encourages and describes as an
adornment for the Muslim woman. Such a
woman has truly understood the teachings
of her religion; she has earned the love
of people in this world and the pleasure
of Allah (SWT) and Paradise in the
Hereafter.
She is friendly and
likeable
The sensitive Muslim
woman is friendly and likeable. She
makes friends with other women and mixes
with them, and they in turn like to meet
her and make friends with her, because
of her gentle, refined, attractive
character and good treatment of them.
These are the best characteristics that
a woman may attain, as they entitle her
to mix with other women, earn their
trust and have an influence on them.
Women will only listen to the one whom
they like and trust and feel comfortable
with, and they will only be persuaded by
a woman who brings with her an attitude
of trust, friendship and respect.
Hence there are many
hadith which commend the type of person
who is friendly and liked by others.
Such a person, whether man or woman, is
one of those chosen ones who are beloved
by the Prophet (PBUH) and will be
closest to him on the Day of Judgement:
"Shall I not tell
you who among you is most beloved to
me and will be closest to me on the
Day of Resurrection?" He repeated
it three or two times, and they said,
"Yes, O Messenger of Allah."
He said, "Those of you who are
the best in attitude and
character."158 Some
reports add: "Those who are down
to earth and humble, who get along
with others and with whom others feel
comfortable."
One of the most important
attributes of the Muslim woman is that
she gets along with others and others
feel comfortable with her. She likes
people and they like her. If she is not
like this, then she will not be able to
convey the message or achieve anything
of significance. Whoever is like that
has no goodness in him, as in the
hadith:
"The believer gets
along with people and they feel
comfortable with him. There is no
goodness in the one who does not get
along with people and with whom they
do not feel comfortable."159
The Prophet (PBUH) set
the highest example of good behavior
towards people. He was skillful in
softening their hearts and called them
to follow him in word and deed. He
demonstrated how to reach people's
hearts and win their love and
admiration. He was always cheerful and
easy-going, never harsh. When he came to
any gathering, he would sit wherever
there was a free space, and he told
others to do likewise. He treated
everyone equally, so that no-one who was
present in a gathering would feel that
anyone else was receiving preferential
treatment. If anyone came to him and
asked for something, he would give it to
them, or at least respond with kind
words. His good attitude extended to
everyone and he was like a father to
them. The people gathered around him
were truly equal, distinguished only by
their level of taqwa. They were
humble, respecting their elders, showing
compassion to young ones, giving
priority to those in need, and taking
care of strangers.
The Prophet (PBUH)
never disappointed anyone who came to
ask from him. There are three
characteristics that he did not possess:
he was not argumentative, he did not
talk too much, and he did not concern
himself with matters that were not his
business. There are three things that he
never did to people: he never criticized
anyone, he never said "Shame on
you!" to anyone, and he never
looked for anyone's faults. He never
said anything but that for which he
hoped to earn reward. When he spoke, the
people around him would listen
earnestly, sitting still as if there
were birds on their heads. When he was
silent, then they would speak. They
never argued with one another in his
presence. They would smile at whatever
he smiled at, and would be impressed by
whatever impressed him. He would be
patient with a stranger who might be
harsh in his requests or questions, and
his Companions would ask the stranger to
speak gently. He said, "If you see
someone in need, then help him." He
never accepted praise except from
someone who was thanking him for a
favour, and he never cut off anyone who
was speaking; he would wait until the
person indicated that he had finished,
or stood up.160
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) tells us that the
used to be cautious of the worst type
of people, and he would speak gently
to them and treat them well. A man
sought permission to enter upon him
and he said, "Let him in, what a
bad brother of his tribe he is!"
When the man came in, he spoke gently
to him. `A'ishah said, "O
Messenger of Allah, you said what you
said, then you spoke gently to
him." He said, "O `A'ishah,
the worst of people is the one whom
people avoid (or are gentle towards)
because they fear his slander."161
No doubt the mature
Muslim woman who is receptive to the
guidance of Islam follows in the
footsteps of her Prophet (PBUH) in her
dealings with all people, whether they
are good or bad, so that she will be
liked, well accepted and respected among
all the women who know her or hear of
her.
She keeps secrets
It is obvious to the
mature, wise Muslim woman that keeping
secrets is one of the best
characteristics that a person, man or
woman, can have. Keeping secrets is a
sign of a person's maturity, moral
strength, wisdom and balanced
personality. Therefore the true Muslim
woman keeps those secrets that Islam
urges her to keep. This was the attitude
of the best personalities of Islam, and
was one of their most beautiful
characteristics.
One of the best
examples of this virtue and the
determination to adhere to tit among the
most prominent Sahabah was the
attitude of Abu Bakr and `Uthman towards
`Umar when he offered them his daughter
Hafsah's hand in marriage after she was
widowed, and their concealing the secret
of the Prophet (PBUH) from him.
Imam Bukhari reports
from `Abdullah ibn `Umar that `Umar
said, concerning events after his
daughter Hafsah was widowed:
"I met `Uthman ibn
`Affan (RAA) and offered him Hafsah's
hand in marriage. I said, `If you
wish, I will marry Hafsah to you.' He
said: `I will think about it.' A few
days passed, then he met me and said,
`I think that I do not wish to get
married just now.' Then I met Abu Bakr
al-Siddiq (RAA), and said, `If you
wish, I will marry Hafsah bint `Umar
to you.' Abu Bakr remained silent and
made no reply to me, and I was more
upset with him than with `Uthman. A
few days passe, then the Prophet
(PBUH) asked for her hand, and I gave
her to him in marriage. Abu Bakr met
me and said, `Perhaps you are angry
with me for when you offered me
Hafsah's hand and I did not reply?' I
said, `Yes.' He said, `Nothing kept me
from answering you except the fact
that I knew the Prophet (PBUH) had
mentioned her, and I could not
disclose the secret of the Messenger
of Allah (PBUH). If he had decided not
to marry her, then I would have
married her.'"162
The virtue of keeping
secrets was not confined only to the men
of the salaf, it also included
women and children whose hearts were
filled with the guidance of Islam. We
see this in the report given by Imam
Muslim from Anas (RAA), who said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) came to me while I was
playing with some other boys. He
greeted me, then sent me on an errand.
I was late coming home to my mother,
and when I came, she asked, `What kept
you so long?' I said, `The Messenger
of Allah (PBUH) sent me on an erra.'
She asked me, `What errand?' I said,
`It is a secret.' She said, `Do not
tell anyone the secret of the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH).' Anas said:
By Allah (SWT), if I had told anyone
about it, I would have told you, O
Thabit."163
Umm Anas saw that her son
was keen to keep the secret entrusted to
him by the Prophet (PBUH), so she
reinforced this keen attitude by telling
him not to disclose this secret to
anyone. So Anas did not speak of it to
anyone, not even the great Sahabi Thabit
al-Bunani, who was the spokesman of the
Prophet (PBUH), and one of those who
were promised Paradise. She did not
allow her curiosity to make her quiz her
young son about the secret he was
keeping from her. This is true Islamic tarbiyah
(education, upbringing), and this is the
sublime level to which it raised men,
women and children alike.
Telling secrets is one
of the worst habits a person could have,
and the worst form of this habit is
disclosing secrets that relate to the
intimacies of married life. A person who
is afflicted with this abhorrent habit
will be among the worst people on the
Day of Judgement, as the Prophet (PBUH)
explained:
"The most evil of
people in the sight of Allah (SWT) on
the Day of Resurrection will be a man
who was intimate with his wife, then
went and told others about her
secrets."164
Private matters should
remain utterly secret, known only to
those concerned. No-one broadcasts his
private matters except the person who is
somewhat crazy, stupid and unsound, and
whose attitude is dirty, cheap and
shameless. Muslim men and women are
protected from such folly by the noble
characteristics that they have learned
from their religion.
She is of cheerful
Countenance
It is clear to the
Muslim woman that one of the most
important factors in her success both in
her private life with her husband and in
her social life in general, is that she
should be of cheerful countenance,
smiling often and overflowing with
warmth. Allah (SWT) of this will endear
her to people and open their hearts to
her. It is also the good attitude,
positive personality and physical
attractiveness encouraged by Islam.
In Sahih Muslim,
it is reported that the Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"Do not think
little of any good deed, even if it is
just meeting your brother with a
cheerful countenance."165
The Prophet (PBUH) taught
that the Muslim should smile at his
brother, and he never met any of his Sahabah
without smiling at them, as is reported
in the hadith of the great Sahabi
Jarir ibn `Abdullah, who said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) never refused to see me, after
I embraced Islam, and he never saw me
without smiling at me."166
The Muslim woman who is
cheerful and smiles a lot brings joy to
her husband's heart, which increases his
love and respect for her. This is also
the attitude which she brings to the
social circle of women with whom she
mixes: nothing spreads love and
affection in a community like a smiling
face and a happy and content soul. These
are characteristics which are most
befitting to the gentle, polite Muslim
woman who seeks to call others to Islam,
because it is through these attitudes
that she will be able to reach people's
hearts.
She is lighthearted
and has a sense of humour
The true Muslim woman
is lighthearted and has a sense of
humour; she is kind in her treatment of
others and gentle in her speech. She
does not disdain to joke with her
sisters and friends on appropriate
occasions. But the Muslim woman's jokes
are distinguished by their legitimate
Islamic nature, and never sink to the
level of being cheap, dirty or stupid.
The Prophet (PBUH) used
to joke with his Companions, but his
jokes never went beyond the bounds of
truth. It was narrated that the Sahabah
said to the Prophet (PBUH): "You
joke with us." He said, "But
I never say anything except the
truth."167
The Sahabah took
the same approach to humour. There are
many delightful and entertaining reports
about the jokes exchanged between the
Prophet (PBUH) and his Companions.
Among the reports
related in the books of hadith and sirah
is that which tells of how the Prophet
(PBUH) used to joke with the small
child of one of his Sahabah, a boy
called Abu `Umayr, who had a little
bird he used to play with. One day he
saw the child looking sad, so he
asked, "Why do I see Abu `Umayr
looking sad?" The Sahabah
told him, "The nughar168
which he used to play with has died, O
Messenger of Allah." The Prophet
(PBUH) began to gently joke with the
child, saying, "O Abu `Umayr,
what happened to the nughayr?"169
A man came to the
Prophet (PBUH) to ask him to give him
a beast to ride. The Prophet (PBUH)
jokingly told him: "I will give
you the offspring of a she-camel to
ride." He said, "O Messenger
of Allah, what shall I do with the
offspring of a she-camel? The Prophet
(PBUH) said: "Are riding-camels
born except from she-camels?"170
Imam Ahmad reported
from Anas (RAA) that there was a man
from the desert people whose name was
Zahir. He used to bring gifts from the
desert to the Prophet (PBUH), and in
return the Prophet (PBUH) would
provide him with whatever he needed
when he went out to fight. The Prophet
(PBUH) said: "Zahir is our man of
the desert, and we are his
town-dwellers." The Prophet
(PBUH) loved him very much, and he
(Zahir) was an ugly man. One day the
Prophet (PBUH) came to him whilst he
was selling some goods. He embraced
him from behind. The man could not see
him, so he said, "Let me go! Who
is this?" Then he turned around
and recognised the Prophet (PBUH), so
he tried to move closer to him once he
knew who it was. The Prophet (PBUH)
started saying, "Who will buy
this slave?" Zahir said, "O
Messenger of Allah, you will find me
unsellable." The Prophet (PBUH)
said, "But in the sight of Allah
(SWT) you are not unsellable," or
he said, "But in the sight of
Allah (SWT) you are valuable."171
An old woman came to
the Prophet (PBUH) and said, "O
Messenger of Allah, pray to Allah
(SWT) that I will enter
Paradise." He said jokingly,
"O Mother of So-and-so, no old
women will enter Paradise." The
old woman went away crying, so the
Prophet (PBUH) said: "Tell her
that she will not enter Paradise as an
old woman, for Allah (SWT) says:
`We have created [their Companions] of
special creation, and made them
virgin-pure [and undefiled]'
(Qur'an 56:35-36)."172
One of the hadith that
reflect the Prophet's sense of humour
and enjoyment of fun is the report
narrated by Imam Ahmad from `A'ishah
(May Allah be pleased with her), who
said:
"I went out with
the Prophet (PBUH) on a journey. At
that time I was still young and was
quite slender. The Prophet (PBUH) told
the people, `Go on ahead,' and they
went on ahead, then he said to me,
`Come, let us have a race.' So I raced
with him, and I won. He let the matter
rest until I had gained weight. Later,
I accompanied him on another journey.
He told the people, `Go on ahead,' and
they went on ahead. He said to me,
`Come, let us have a race.' So I raced
with him, and he won. He began to
laugh, and said, `This is for
that.'"173
The Prophet (PBUH), the imam,
leader and teacher of the Muslims, liked
to joke and have fun sometimes, no
matter how busy he was with theburdens
of leadership and the effort to
establish the Islamic state, direct the
forces of jihad, and so on. All
of this did not keep him from engaging
in entertaining jokes and lighthearted
fun that would make his Companions - or
his wives, on other occasions - feel
happy.
Another example is the
report narrated by `A'ishah (May Allah
be pleased with her), who said:
"I came to the
Prophet (PBUH) with some harirah
(a dish made with flour and milk) that
I had cooked for him, and told Sawdah
(May Allah be pleased with her), as
the Prophet (PBUH) was sitting between
me and her - `Eat.' She refused, so I
said, `Either you eat, or I will fill
your face!' She still refused, so I
put my hand in the harirah and
daubed her face with it. The Prophet
(PBUH) laughed, put some harirah
in her hand, and said, `Do the same to
her!'" According to another
report: "He lowered his knee
(moved out of the way) so that she
could get her own back on me, then she
took some from the plate and wiped my
face with it, and the Prophet (PBUH)
laughed."174
These repoare a clear
indication of the tolerance of Islam and
its followers, and of the kind of
lightheartedness and humour that it
wants to see in the Muslims. It is a
quality that is liked in the serious
Muslim woman, for it adds beauty,
attraction and influence to her
character.
She tries to make
people happy
The Muslim woman is
keen, in her conversations with other
women, to bring happiness to them and
make them feel cheerful and lively by
means of the good news and pleasant
jokes that she tells them. Making people
happy, within the framework of that
which is permitted, is an Islamic duty
that is strongly encouraged, so that the
environment of the believers, men and
women, may be filled with friendliness,
happiness and joy, ready to undertake
serious work and the sacrifices and
difficulties that it entails.
For this reason Islam
tells us that the reward of one who
makes Muslims happy will be the greater
happiness that Allah (SWT) will bestow
upon him on the Day of Resurrection:
"Whoever meets his
Muslim brother and makes him happy
with something that Allah (SWT) likes,
Allah (SWT) will make him happy on the
Day of Resurrection."175
The clever Muslim woman
will find different ways to make her
sisters happy in ways that are permitted
- a warm greeting, a kind word, a clever
comment, a pleasant joke, good news, a
friendly smile, a sincerely-meant visit,
a charming gift, always keeping in
touch, sincere help, comforting
consolation - which will open their
hearts, sow the seeds of love and
strengthen the ties of friendship and
sisterhood.
She is not
over-strict
Another of the
qualities of the true Muslim woman is
that she is not over-strict, and does
not go to extremes with regard to
matters that Islam has permitted on
certain occasions, such as the singing
that is permitted on Eid and at
weddings, or watching some entertaining
games or sports, so long as they are not
accompanied by any form of corruption
that may lead to fitnah.
Although she may
accept to watch or join in entertainment
on certain occasions, she does not make
this her main concern in life. She
follows the teachings of Islam which
permit fun and entertainment on
occasion, as is reported in a number of sahih
hadith.
In Sahih Bukhari,
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with
her) is reported to have arranged a
marriage for a woman who was an orphan
under her care, to a man of the Ansar.
The Prophet (PBUH) asked her: "O
`A'ishah, what sort of fun and
entertainment do you have? For the Ansar
love fun and entertainment."176
Imam Bukhari also
narrates from `A'ishah:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) entered upon me when there were
two young girls singing the songs of
Bu`ath177. He lay down on
his bed and turned his face away. Then
Abu Bakr entered, and told me off,
saying: `Musical instruments of Shaytan
in the house of the Prophet (PBUH)!'
The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) turned
to him and said: `Let them be.' When
he was no longer paying attention, I
signalled to them, and they
left."178
According to another
report, also narrated by Bukhari, the
Prophet (PBUH) said: "O Abu Bakr,
every nation has a day of celebration,
and this is our day of
celebration."179
Another report narrated
by Bukhari from `A'ishah says:
"It was the day of
Eid, and the black people were playing
with shields and spears. Either I
asked the Prophet (PBUH), or he said
to me: `Would you like to watch?' I
said, `Yes.' So he let me stand behind
him, his cheek against my cheek, and
he was saying, `Carry on, O Banu
Arfidah180!' When I got
tired, he asked me, `Have you had
enough?' I said, `Yes.' He said, `Then
go.'"181
Ibn Hijr reported a
number of versions of this hadith from
`A'ishah, such as that recorded by
al-Zuhri:
". . . Until I
['A'ishah] was the one who had had
enough."182
Muslim also narrates from
al-Zuhri:
"Then he stayed
standing there for my sake until I was
the one who decided to leave."183
Al-Nisa'i reports from
Yazid ibn Marwan:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `Have you had enough?
Have you had enough?' She said, `I
decided to say No, just to see how
where I stood with him (i.e. how much
he loved me).'"184
Al-Nisa'i reports from
Abu Salamah from `A'ishah:
"I said, `O
Messenger of Allah, do not rush.' So
he remained standing for my sake, then
said, `Have you had enough?' I said,
`Do not rush.' . . . It was not that I
wanted to watch them, but I wanted all
the women to know how I stood with
him."
In the chapter on
marriage, there is a report narrated by
al-Zuhri which adds:
"You should
understand that young girls like to
have fun."185
In Fath al-Bari186
al-Siraj reports via Abu'l-Zinad from
`Urwah from `A'ishah that the Prophet
(PBUH) said on that day:
"Let the Jews know
that in our religion there is room for
entertainment, and I have been sent
with a tolerant, pure religion."
Tirmidhi reports in his Sunan
that `A'ishah said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) was sitting, and we heard some
noise and children's voices outside.
The Prophet (PBUH) stood up, and saw
an Abyssinian woman dancing, with
children around her. He said, `O
`A'ishah, come and see!' So I came,
and put my chin on his shoulder,
looking through the gap between his
head and his shoulder. He asked me,
`Have you had enough?' and I decided
to say No, just to see where I stood
with him. Suddenly `Umar appeared, and
the people scattered. The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `I can see that the
devils among jinn and mankind
flee from `Umar!' [`A'ishah] said:
then I went back."187.
These and similar texts,
as understood in the books of hadith,
are clear evidence of the Prophet's kind
and gentle treatment of his wife, and
his eagerness to make her happy. They
are also proof of the tolerance and ease
of Islam, and its concern that women
should be allowed to enjoy the kinds of
fun and entertainment that it has
permitted, unlike some of those
overstrict people nowadays who regard
such fun as a serious crime for which
women should be severely punished by
being imprisoned (in the home).
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam
should be very serious in her attitude,
concentrating on noble aims and shunning
frivolities. But this should not stop
her from having fun occasionally, in
ways that are permitted by Islam, which
leaves room for such entertainment. The
wise Lawgiver understands the nature of
people and their inclination to relax
and have fun from time to time, so that
they can then return refreshed to their
serious pursuits, with renewed vigour,
stronger determination, and more
prepared to shoulder the burdens of
their responsibilities. This is the
balanced, integrated, wise approach that
Islam brings.
She is not arrogant
or proud
The true Muslim woman
is not arrogant or proud; she does not
look down her nose at other women who
may be inferior to her in terms of
beauty, wealth, lineage or status,
because the Muslim woman who understands
the teachings of Islam knows that
arrogance and pride in this world will
deny a woman the blessings of the
Hereafter, which Allah (SWT) will deny
to men and women who are arrogant. These
blessings are only for those who shun
arrogance and pride in world:
( That House of the
Hereafter We shall give to those who
intend not high-handedness or mischief
on earth: and the End is [best] for
the righteous.) (Qur'an 28:83)
She also knows that Allah
(SWT) does not love those who arrogantly
boast:
( And swell not your
cheek [for pride] at men, nor walk in
insolence through the earth: for Allah
loves not any arrogant boaster.) (Qur'an
31:18)
Whoever examines the
hadith texts will be astonished at the
attention given by the Prophet (PBUH) to
eradicating arrogance from people's
hearts by forbidding it, deterring it
and warning those men and women who were
afflicted with it that they stand to
lose everything in the Hereafter for the
sake of an atom's-weight of pride that
the Shaytan has placed in their
hearts. Such people are among the
arrogant ones to whom Allah (SWT) has
denied entry to Paradise, as is stated
in the hadith narrated by Muslim:
"No one will enter
Paradise who has an atom's-weight of
pride in his heart." A man asked,
"What if a man likes his clothes
and his shoes to look good?" He
said, "Allah (SWT) is Beautiful
and loves beauty (i.e. wanting to
loogood is not pride or arrogance).
Pride is denying the truth and
despising people."188
Harithah ibn Wahb (RAA)
said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `Shall
I not tell you about the people of
Hell? Everyone who is harsh, proud,
disdainful and arrogant."189
It is enough for those
arrogant, proud women who boast to their
friends to know of the moral humiliation
that Allah (SWT) has prepared for them
in the Hereafter: Allah (SWT) will not
even look at them or speak to them or
praise them, and this will be the
ultimate humiliation.
The Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"On the Day of
Resurrection, Allah (SWT) will not
look at those who let their garments
trail on the ground out of
arrogance."190
"There are
three whom Allah (SWT) will not speak
to, or praise, or look at on the Day
of Judgement, and they will have a
severe punishment: an old man who
commits adultery, a king who tells
lies, and a poor man who is
arrogant."191
Pride is one of the
divine attributes and weak human
creatures have no right to it. Those who
are arrogant and proud transgress into
the realm of the divine, vying with the
Almighty Creator for one of His sublime
attributes, so they deserve the severe
punishment to which the Prophet (PBUH)
referred:
"Allah (SWT) says:
`Might is My cloak and pride is My
garment. Whoever vies with Me for
either of them, I will punish
him.'"192
Many hadith warn the
believers against being tempted by pride
at moments of human weakness. The
Prophet (PBUH) used various methods to
warn them so that the pious believers
would be protected from the awful
disease of arrogance. For example:
"Whoever thinks
highly of himself, or walks with an
arrogant attitude, will meet Allah
(SWT) when He is angry with him."193
She is humble and
modest
It comes as no
surprise that the Muslim woman who
understands anything of the teachings of
Islam should be humble and modest,
gentle, tolerant and kind in her
dealings with others. She finds hadith
which complement those that warn men and
women against arrogance, texts that
encourage modesty and humility,
promising everyone who humbles himself
for the sake of Allah (SWT) that he or
she will be raised in status, as the
Prophet (PBUH) said in the hadith
narrated by Muslim:
"No one is humble
for the sake of Allah (SWT), but Allah
(SWT) will raise him in status."194
"Allah (SWT)
told me that you should be so humble
towards one another that no one should
boast to anyone else and no one should
oppress anyone."195
The Muslim woman who
studies the life of the Prophet (PBUH)
will find in his sublime character a
unique, living example of modesty,
humility, gentleness, genuineness, noble
attitudes and tolerance. Whenever he
passed a group of boys playing, he would
stop and greet them, joking naturally
with them. His high status as Prophet
and leader of the ummah did not
prevent him from being spontaneous and
natural with others.
Anas (RAA) said that he
passed by a group of children and
greeted them. He added, "The
Prophet (PBUH) used to do that."196
Anas (RAA) gave
another account of the Prophet's
humility: he reported that one of the
slave-women of Madinah used to take
the Prophet's hand and lead him about
wherever she wanted, until he had
sorted out her needs.197
Tamim ibn Usayd came to
Madinah to ask about the rules of Islam.
He was a stranger, but he did not find
any barrier or guard between him and the
Prophet (PBUH), the first men in the
Islamic state, who was on the minbar
addressing the people. Tamim came
forward to ask some questions, and the
Prophet (PBUH) welcomed him with all
warmth, humility and compassion. Tamim
tells the story, as was related by Imam
Muslim:
"I came to the
Prophet (PBUH) whilst he was giving a
speech. I said, `O Messenger of Allah,
a stranger has come to ask about his
religion; he does not know what his
religion is.' The Prophet (PBUH)
welcomed me, interrupted his speech,
and came to me. A chair was brought
for him, so he sat down and began to
teach me from what Allah (SWT) had
taught him. Then he resumed his speech
and finished what he had been
saying."198
The Prophet (PBUH) used
to instil the attitude of humility,
based on tolerance, gentleness and a
good nature, in the hearts of his
Companions. He (PBUH) said:
"If I were to be
invited to a simple meal of a sheep's
foot or leg, or if I were to be
offered this food as a gift, I would
accept."199
This is modesty in its
purest form and human greatness of the
highest degree.
She is moderate
with regard to her
clothing and
appearance
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam
adheres to the principle of modesty in
all things, and especially in the way
she dresses and looks. She is keen to
look good, but without any extravagance,
excess or conceit. She does not blindly
follow those who throw aside new clothes
after wearing them only once and exhaust
themselves trying to keep up with the
latest fashion, which is forever
changing, as is the habit of some
foolish, ignorant women who have nothing
better to do. On the other hand, she
does not neglect her clothes or
appearance, and she tries to look good
in moderation.
She abides by the
limits of moderation set out in the
Qur'an, which describes moderation as
one of the qualities of the believing
servants of Allah (SWT), men and women
alike:
( Those who, when
they spend, are not extravagant and
not niggardly, but hold a just
[balance] between those [extremes].) (Qur'an
25:67)
The Muslim woman is
careful not to fall victim to the
enslavement of fashion and those behind
it, who are people who have no fear of
Allah (SWT) and do not have the best
interests of women - especially Muslim
women - at heart. She is careful to
avoid this enslavement which the Prophet
(PBUH) warned against and told us that
it is a source of great misery:
"Wretched is the
slave of the dinar, dirham
and fancy clothes of velvet and silk!
If he is given, he is pleased, and if
he is not given, he is
displeased."200
The Muslim woman is
protected by the teachings of Islam from
falling into the error of arrogance or
conceit regarding her appearance, and
other deeds which may lead to a person's
downfall, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"There was a man
who walked with pride because of his
fine cloak and because he was pleased
with himself. Allah (SWT) caused him
to sink in the earth, and he will go
on sinking into it until the Day of
Resurrection."201
The Muslim woman uses
means of adornment that are within the
limits of what is permitted by Islam.
She wears elegant, expensive clothes,
which are among the good things
permitted by Allah (SWT), without going
to extremes of excess. This is the
moderation advocated and encouraged by
Islam, and there is a huge difference
between the wise, moderate woman, and
the foolish, empty-headed woman who goes
to extremes.
The Muslim woman
avoids both extremes with regard to her
dress and appearance. She does not
exaggerate or go to extreme limits of
excess, neither does she neglect her
clothes and appearance to the poiof
appearing to be miserly or ascetic,
thinking that this asceticism is a form
of worship that will earn her the
pleasure of Allah (SWT).
The woman who wears
beautiful clothes to show off in front
of her friends is a sinner, because
Allah (SWT) does not love every arrogant
boaster. But the one who wears beautiful
clothes to display the bounty of Allah
(SWT) and seeking His help, is an
obedient servant who will be rewarded.
The one who neglects
her appearance out of stinginess enjoys
no position of respect among people, and
will have no reward from Allah (SWT).
The one who neglects her appearance out
of an attitude of other-worldliness,
thinking that she is worshipping Allah
(SWT) by denying herself what is
permitted, is also a sinner, as Shaykh
al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, may Allah (SWT)
have mercy on him, said.202
The essence of a woman's happiness in
this world and the next is
purposefulness, moderation and balance.
This is the attitude of the Muslim woman
who understands and adheres to the
teachings of Islam. So her clothes are
clean, beautiful, neat and suited to the
Muslim woman, demonstrating Allah's
blessings to her without going to the
extreme of showing off.
She loves noble
thinand always aims high
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam is
concerned only with noble matters, and
shuns those trivial, cheap matters that
do not deserve the attention of the
serious, refined person. She builds her
relationships with other women on this
basis of high concerns and noble aims.
She has no room in her life for making
friends with foolish, empty-headed
prattlers or for keeping busy with
trivial matters. She has no time to
spend on idle talk and foolish issues.
This is what Allah (SWT) loves to see in
His believing servants, men and women,
as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Allah is noble (karim)
and loves noble people. He loves noble
things and hates foolishness."203She is concerned about
the
affairs of the
Muslims
The Muslim woman who
truly understands the teachings of Islam
is not concerned only with her own
household, husband and children; she
takes an interest in the affairs of the
Muslims in general. By doing so she is
following the guidance of Islam which
counts all Muslims as a single
brotherhood, and compares them, because
of their mutual love, affection and
compassion, to a single body: if one
part of it suffers , the rest of the
body will stay awake in pain.204
Islam also likens the believers to a
solid structure, in which some bricks
support others.205
The modern Muslim
woman's concern for Muslim individuals,
families, societies and the ummah
as a whole, stems from her Islamic
character, her adherence to the
teachings of Islam, her Islamic
world-view, and her sense of the
responsibilities that Islam has given to
every Muslim man and woman to convey and
expound its teachings.
Islamic history is
filled with many examples of virtuous
women who were renowned for their
concern about the Muslims, men and
women. One example is the report given
by Imam Muslim from Salim, the freed
slave of Shaddad, who said:
"I entered upon
`A'ishah, the wife of the Prophet
(PBUH) on the day that Sa`d ibn Abi
Waqqas died. `Abd al-Rahman ibn Abi
Bakr also came in, and performed wudu'
in `A'ishah's presence. She said, `O
`Abd al-Rahman! Perform your wudu'
properly, as I heard the Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) say: "Woe to the
heels because of
Hell-fire."'"206
`A'ishah noticed that her
brother `Abd al-Rahman had not washed
his heels properly in wudu', and
she did not keep silent about what she
had seen. She reminded him that it was
essential to perform wudu'
properly, as she had heard from the
Prophet (PBUH). This is an example of
the kind of commendable concern that is
the duty of every Muslim man and woman
whenever there is a need to enjoin what
is good or forbid what is evil.
When `Umar ibn
al-Khattab (RAA) was stabbed, and he
felt that death was near, he told his
son `Abdullah: "Go to `A'ishah,
say salam to her, and ask her
permission for me to be buried in her
house alongside the Messenger of Allah
(PBUH) and Abu Bakr. So `Abdullah came
to her and conveyed this message. She
said, "Certainly, he is most
welcome." Then she said: "O
my son, convey my salam to
`Umar, and tell him: Do not leave the ummah
of Muhammad without a protector.
Appoint a successor to take care of
them. Do not leave them untended after
your death, for I fear fitnah
for them."207
This was a far-sighted,
common-sense attitude of concern for the
ummah, that they should not be
left without a leader to govern their
affairs and maintain their unity and
security.
In these words of
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with
her), the modern Muslim woman has a
prime example which will help her to
understand the essence of Islam, her
responsibilities towards her religion
and her ummah, and the importance
of being concerned about the affairs of
the Muslims. This will give her insight
and understanding that will enable her
to undertake her duties of contributing
to the revival of Islam and calling
Muslim men and women to return to the
position of being the Best of Peoples
evolved for mankind, as Allah (SWT)
wants them to be.
She honours her
guest
The true Muslim woman
is happy to welcome guests, and hastens
to honour them, in response to the call
of faith in Allah (SWT) and the Last
Day, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Whoever believes
in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day, let
him honour his guest."208
The Muslim woman who
honours her guest thus confirms that she
is a believer in Allah (SWT) and the
Last Day. Therefore this honouring of
the guest is called a reward that is
given to the guest as if thanking him
for the opportunity he has given to his
host to do a good deed, put his faith
into practice, and please Allah (SWT):
"`Whoever believes
in Allah (SWT) and the Last Day, let
him honour his guest by giving him his
reward.' They asked, `What is his
reward, O Messenger of Allah?' He
said: `One day and one night. The
right of hospitality is three days,
and anything beyond that is an act of
charity.'"209
Honouring guests is
regarded in Islam as a great deed which
is encouraged, and for which the sincere
Muslim woman will be rewarded. But Islam
regulated it and set limits for it. The
"reward" of the guest is one
day and one night, then comes the duty
of hospitality, which is three days.
Anything beyond that is an act of
charity which will be recorded among the
good deeds of the hospitable, generous
woman.
In Islam, honouring
the guest is not a matter of choice to
be followed or not according to one's
mood or personal feelings. It is a duty
on the Muslim, man or woman, who must
hasten to fulfil this duty as soon as a
guest knocks on the door or enters one's
yard:
"Accommodating a
guest for one night is an absolute
duty on every Muslim. Whoever gets up
in the morning and finds a guest
waiting in his yard has a duty to
fulfil, and it is up to him what he
will do about it."210
Those who do not like to
receive a guest and close their doors to
him are not good people, as is stated in
the hadith reported by Imam Ahmad, in
which the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"There is no
goodness in the one who is not
hospitable."211
Islam has made
hospitality the duty of every Muslim man
and woman, and considers it to be the
guest's right. No Muslim should fall
short in carrying out this duty. If a
spirit of miserliness has overtaken a
people to the extent that they deny
their guest his right, then Islam
permits the guest to take his right from
them. This is seen in the hadithnarrated
by Bukhari, Muslim and others from
`Uqbah ibn `Amir, who said:
"I said, `O
Messenger of Allah, you are sending us
to people who do not feed us. What do
you think about this?' He said, `If
you go to a people and they order that
something appropriate be brought
(i.e., food and drink), then accept
it, and if they do not do that, then
take the things you as a guest are
entitled to, that they should have
provided.'"212
Hospitality is a basic
Islamic attitude, so you will never find
a Muslim woman whose Islam is genuine
being stingy to her guest, no matter
what her or her husband's cir. Islam has
taught her that the food of two people
will feed three, and that the food of
three will feed four. So she need never
worry about an unexpected guest knocking
suddenly at her door. Abu Hurayrah (RAA)
said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `The food of two
people is enough for three, and the
food of three is enough for
four.'"213
Jabir (RAA) said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `The
food of one is enough for two, the
food of two is enough for four, and
the food of four is enough for
eight."214
The Muslim woman whose
personality has been cleansed and
moulded by Islam does not worry about
there being too many people at the
table, unlike the Western woman who does
not receive a guest for whom she has not
prepared food in advance. The Muslim
woman welcomes her guests even if the
visit is unannounced, and invites them
to share her family's food, no matter
that her own share may be reduced by a
few mouthfuls. The true Muslim woman
prefers hunger to ignoring the rights of
this guest, whom Allah (SWT) and His
Messenger have commanded her to honour.
Indeed, Allah (SWT) will bless the food
of one so that it will become enough for
two, and He will bless the food of two
so that it will become enough for four,
and so on. There is no neefor that
dryness and inhospitability from which
Western-influenced materialistic people
are suffering in both East and West.
The righteous salaf
set the highest example of honouring
one's guest, so much so that Allah
(SWT) Himself commended the way in
which some of them honoured their
guests. An example of this is the
hadith narrated by Bukhari and Muslim
from Abu Hurayrah (RAA). A man came to
the Prophet (PBUH) and he sent word to
his wives (to prepare food). They
said, "We have nothing but
water." So the Prophet (PBUH)
said, "Who will play host to this
man?" One of the Ansar
said: "I will." So he took
the man to his wife and told her:
"Honour the guest of the
Messenger of Allah." She said,
"We do not have anything but the
boys' food." He said,
"Prepare the food, light the
lamp, and put the boys to sleep if
they want some supper." So she
prepared the food, lit the lamp, and
put the boys to sleep. Then she got up
as if to adjust the lamp, but she
extinguished it. The couple pretended
to eat (with their guest), but in fact
they went to bed hungry. The next
morning, the Ansari went to the
Prophet (PBUH), who told him:
"Allah (SWT) has commended what
you two did last night." Allah
(SWT) revealed:
( . . . But
[they] give them preference over
themselves, even though poverty was
their [own lot]. And those saved from
the covetousness of their own souls -
they are the ones that achieve
prosperity.) (Qur'an 59:9)215
The Muslim woman is
generous and hospitable, she welcomes
guests no matter when they arrive, and
never worries about the sudden arrival
of guests. In this way she provides the
best help to enable her husband to be
generous and hospitable like her,
welcoming guests and hastening to honour
them with a cheerful, smiling face, as
the poet216 said:
"I smile at my
guest and make him smile before he
brings in his luggage, as if I had
plenty to offer him at the time when I
am suffering hardship. Hospitality does
not consist of piling up food in front
of him; the face of the generous man is
the essence of hospitality."
She prefers others
over herself
The true Muslim woman
prefers others over herself, even if she
is poor and does not have much, because
Islam teaches its followers to do so.
This selflessness is a basic
characteristic of the true Muslim, which
distinguishes him or her from other
people.
The Ansar, (May
Allah be pleased with them), were the
first pioneers in selflessness after the
Prophet (PBUH) himself. A verse of the
Qur'an was revealed commending their
unique selflessness, which would remain
for all time a shining example to
humanity of how generosity and
selflessness should be. They welcomed
their Muhajir brothers, who had
nothing, and gave them everything:
( But those who
before them, had homes [in Madinah]
and had adopted the Faith - show their
affection to such as came to them for
refuge, and entertain no desire in
their hearts for things given to the
[latter], but give them preference
over themselves, even though poverty
was their [own lot]. And those saved
from the covetousness of their own
souls - they are the ones that achieve
prosperity.) (Qur'an 59:9)
The life of the Prophet
(PBUH) abounded with selflessness, and
he also instilled this attitude in the
hearts of the first Muslims. Sahl ibn
Sa`d (RAA) reported:
"A woman brought a
woven garment (burdah) and
said, `I wove it with my own hands for
you to wear.' The Prophet (PBUH) took
it, as he needed it. He came out to
us, wearing it wrapped around his
waist. So-and-so said, `Give it to me,
how nice it is!' The Prophet (PBUH)
said, `Of course.' The Prophet (PBUH)
was sitting in a gathering, and when
he came back, he folded up the burdah
and sent it to that man. The people
told the man: `You should not have
done that. The Prophet (PBUH) wore it
because he needed it, then you asked
for it and you knew that he does not
refuse requests.' He said, `I did not
ask for it so that I could wear it. I
asked for it so that it could be my
shroud.'" Sahl said: "And
(later on) it was his shroud."217
The Prophet (PBUH) used
to feel happy whenever he saw his
teaching of selflessness bearing fruits
in the Muslims' lives when there was
some crisis such as drought or famine.
This is seen in his words:
"When a number of
their men are killed in battle, or
they do not have enough food for their
children, the Ash`aris [a tribe]
gather whatever they have in one cloth
and share it out equally. They belong
to me and I belong to them."218
How beautiful is the
attitude of selflessness that we learn
about from the Ansar, the
Ash`aris and others like them! How great
is the virtue of the Prophet (PBUH) who
implanted this attitude in the hearts of
the first generation of Muslim men and
women, from whom successive generations
of Muslims inherited it until it became
a basic characteristic of the Islamic
society.
She checks her
customs and habits
against Islamic
standards
The Muslim woman who
has insight into the rulings of Islam
does not accept every tradition and
custom that is widely accepted by
others, for there may be customs that
are derived from ancient or modern jahili
traditions which go against Islam. These
are unacceptable to the Muslim woman,
even if everybody else accepts them
unanimously.
The Muslim woman does
not decorate her house with statues or
pictures (of animate objects), neither
does she keep a dog at home, unless it
is a guard dog, because the Prophet
(PBUH) has forbidden all of that. The sahih
hadith on this matter are very
emphatic in their prohibition, and there
is no room for prevarication or excuses:
Ibn `Umar (RAA)
reported that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Those who make
these images will be punished on the
Day of Resurrection and will be told:
`Give life to that which you have
created.'"219
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) returned from a journey,
and I had covered a small window with
a curtain that had images on it. When
the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saw it,
his face changed colour (with anger)
and he said, `O `A'ishah! Those who
will be the most severely punished by
Allah (SWT) on the Day of Resurrection
will be those who imitated the
creation of Allah (SWT).' She said: So
we cut it up and made one or two
pillows from it."220
Ibn `Abbas (RAA) said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `Every
maker of images will be in the Fire;
every image that he made will be
brought to life and will punish him in
Hell." Ibn `Abbas said: "So
if you must do that, make pictures of
trees and inanimate objects."221
Abu Talhah (RAA) said
that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:
"The angels do not
enter a house in which there is a dog
or an image."222
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) said:
"Jibril (PBUH )
promised to come to the Prophet (PBUH)
at a certain time. That time came and
went, and hedid not come. The Prophet
(PBUH) was holding a stick in his
hand, which he threw aside, saying,
`Allah (SWT) does not break His
promise and neither do His
Messengers.' Then he turned around and
saw a puppy underneath his bed. He
said, `When did this dog get in?' I
said, `By Allah, I did not even notice
it.' He gave orders that it should be
taken out, and it was removed. Then
Jibril (PBUH ) came to him, and the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, `You
promised to come and I was waiting for
you, but you did not come.' He said,
`The dog that was in your house
prevented me. We do not enter a house
where there is a dog or an
image.'"223
There are many hadith
which prohibit pictures and statues, and
the wisdom behind this prohibition is
apparent especially nowadays when
hypocrites, sycophants and those
possessed by greed and ambition
encourage tyrants in their oppression.
One of their favoured methods is to
erect statues to them, both during their
lifetimes and after their deaths, thus
turning them into gods and demigods
seated on thrones of glory, whipping the
backs of the oppressed.
Islam brought the
doctrine of Tawhid, and destroyed
the statues of shirk and jahiliyyah
fifteen hundred years ago. It will not
permit these graven images to come back
into the lives of Muslim men and women,
whether it be in the name of
commemorating a leader, honouring
aartist or glorifying a scientist, poet
or writer. The Islamic society is a
monotheistic society where
glorification, sanctification and
veneration are only for Allah (SWT). So
there is no room in the Islamic society
for these statues and images.
As far as keeping a
dog is concerned, there is nothing wrong
with that if the dog is kept for hunting
or farming purposes, as in the hadith of
Ibn `Umar (RAA), who said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say:
`Whoever keeps a dog, unless it is a
dog for hunting or herding livestock,
his reward will decrease by two qirats
every day.'"224
Keeping dogs in the house
after the Western fashion, spoiling
them, manufacturing special food and
shampoo for them, setting up
"beauty parlours" for them and
all the other things on which people in
the West and the U.S. spend millions
upon millions of dollars annually. . .
All of this has nothing whatsoever to do
with Islam and its tolerant customs. The
psychological state of Westerners, and
the dry, materialistic life they lead,
had driven them to these extremes in
caring for their dogs, to compensate for
the lack of human love in their social
lives. But the social life of Islam is
filled with human emotion, so Muslims
have no need to go to such absurd
extremes.225
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam does
not eat or drink from vessels of gold or
silver, no matter how rich she may be or
how luxurious a life she may enjoy,
because to do so is haram
according to Islam. We find this
prohibition in a number of definitive, sahih
hadith.
Umm Salamah (May Allah
be pleased with her) reported that the
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Whoever drinks
from a vessel of silver, it is as if
he is throwing Hell-fire into his
stomach."226
According to a report
given by Muslim, the Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"Whoever eats or
drinks from vessels of gold or
silver" - (in another report:
whoever drinks from a vessel of gold
or silver) - " it is as if he is
throwing fire from Hell into his
stomach."227
The alert Muslim woman,
no matter where she lives, examines
every custom that is followed in her
society and measures it against the
rulings, values and principles of Islam.
Whatever is compatible with Islam, she
accepts, but whatever contradicts Islam,
she rejects outright, whether it is a
custom relating to betrothal and
marriage, or in family or social life.
What matters is whether the custom is
compatible with Islam, not how widely it
is spread among people.
She follows Islamic
manners in the way
she eats and drinks
The alert Muslim woman
is distinguished by her keenness to
follow Islamic etiquette in the way she
eats and drinks. If you were to see her
at the table eating food, or if you saw
the way she sets the table, you would
know her by the Islamic manners that she
has adopted in the way she eats, drinks
and sets the table.
She does not begin to
eat until she has mentioned the name of
Allah (SWT), and she eats with her right
hand from the food directly in front of
her228, according to the
teaching of the Prophet (PBUH):
"Mention the name
of Allah (SWT), eat with your right
hand, and eat from what is directly in
front of you."229
If she forgets to mention
the name of Allah (SWT) at the beginning
of her meal, she will rectify that by
saying: "Bismillahi awwalahu wa
akhirahu (in the name of Allah (SWT)
at its beginning and at its end),"
as is taught in the hadith narrated by
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with
her):
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `Whenever any of
you eats, let him mention the name of
Allah (SWT), may He be glorified. If
he forgets to mention the name of
Allah (SWT) at the beginning, let him
say "Bismillahi awwalahu wa
akhirahu."'"230
The second issue is
eating with the right hand. The Muslim
woman who is acting according to Islamic
manners eats and drinks with her right
hand. The commandment to eat with the
right hand, and the prohibition of
eating with the left hand, are clearly
reported in numerous hadith, for
example:
"When any one of
you eats, let him eat with his right
hand, and if he drinks, let him drink
with his right hand, for the Shaytan
eats with his left hand and drinks
with his left hand."231
"None of you
should eat with his left hand or drink
with his left hand, for the Shaytan
eats with his left hand and drinks
with his left hand." Nafi` added
that the Prophet (PBUH) said: "Do
not give or take with it (the left
hand)."232
If the Prophet
(PBUH) saw anyone eating with his left
hand, he would tell him to stop, and
would teach him the proper manners. If
the person arrogantly persisted, he
would rebuke him more sternly and pray
against him. Salamah ibn al-Akwa`(RAA)
said that a man ate with his left hand
in the presence of the Prophet (PBUH).
He said, "Eat with your right
hand." The man said, "I
cannot." He said, "May you
never be able to use it!" The
only thing that stopped him was
arrogance, and he never raised his
right hand to his mouth after that.233
The Prophet (PBUH) always
liked to start things from the right,
and he encouraged others to do likewise.
Bukhari, Muslim and Malik report from
Anas that the Prophet (PBUH) was given
some milk that had been mixed with water
from the well. There was a Bedouin
sitting on his right, and Abu Bakr
al-Siddiq was sitting on his left. He
drank some of the milk, then he passed
it to the Bedouin and said:
"Start on the
right and pass to the right."234
On one occasion, he asked
a young boy235 seated on his
right to give up his turn for some
elders, but the boy insisted on taking
his turn and obtaining barakah
(blessing) from the left-over of the
Prophet (PBUH), and the Prophet (PBUH)
did not criticize or rebuke him for
doing so. Suhayl ibn Sa`d (RAA)
described the incident:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) was given something to
drink, and he drank some of it. There
was a young boy on his right, and some
old men on his left. He asked the boy,
`Will you let me give some to these
men?' The boy said, `No, by Allah
(SWT), I will not give up my share
from you to anyone.' So the Messenger
of Allah (PBUH) put it in his
hand."236
There are many such
reports and texts that definitively show
that using the right hand is an
important aspect of Islamic manners,
which the true Muslim adopts readily and
does not try to find excuses. This is
what the Sahabah and Tabi`in
used to do, without exception. When
`Umar ibn al-Khattab (RAA) was the khalifah,
he used to patrol the city himself and
check up on the people. Once, he saw a
man eating with his left hand, so he
told him, "O servant of Allah, eat
with your right hand." He saw him a
second time eating with his left hand,
so he hit him with his whip and said,
"O servant of Allah, eat with your
right hand." He saw him a third
time eating with his left h, so he hit
him with his whip and said angrily,
"O servant of Allah, your right
hand!" The man replied, "O Amir
al-Mu'minin, it is busy." `Umar
said, "What is keeping it
busy?" He said, "The day of
Mu'tah237." `Umar began
to weep, and came to the man apologizing
and consoling him. He asked him,
"Who helps you make wudu`?
Who helps you with what you need?"
Then he ordered that the man should be
treated fairly and taken care of.
`Umar's concern for
this aspect of the conduct of one of the
people demonstrates the importance of
this apparently minor issue. It is
indicative of the Muslim's personality
and unique identity. `Umar was very keen
to apply this rule to the Muslims, so he
did not allow them to take it lightly or
ignore it.
I would like to
address this to those Muslim ladies who
have adopted Western table manners which
dictate that the fork should be held in
the left hand, and the knife in the
right, so that the food is cut with the
right hand and placed in the mouth with
the left. These people follow this
practice without adjusting it, so that
they are eating with their left hands,
contradictory to the teachings of their
religion. They do not bother to move the
fork to the right hand and the knife to
the left, so that they may eat with
their right hand, because they do not
want to change this Western
"etiquette." This is just one
example of the moral defeat from which
our ummah is suffering at the
hands of m, which we are following
slavishly without adjusting or adapting
foreign customs to suit our own
identity, religion and values. The true
Muslim should be the furthest removed
from such blind, ignorant imitation.
The true Muslim woman
who is proud of her religion and its
noble guidance in all aspects of life
insists on eating with her right hand
and calls on others to do likewise. She
is not ashamed to announce it in
gatherings where people still adhere
slavishly to practices that have come
from the West, so that she may explain
it to those men and women who are
ignorant and careless, and bring them
back to their senses. Then they will
follow the sunnah and eat and drink with
their right hands.
With regard to the
third issue, eating from what is nearest
to one, this is in accordance with the
Islamic manners of eating. The Prophet
(PBUH) clearly commanded this, along
with mentioning the name of Allah (SWT)
and eating with the right hand. It is
recorded in numerous hadith, such as the
report of `Umar ibn Abi Salamah (RAA),
who said:
"I was a young boy
under the care of the Messenger of
Allah (PBUH). My hand used to wander
all over the plate, so the Prophet
(PBUH) told me: `O young boy, mention
the name of Allah (SWT), eat with your
right hand, and eat from what is
directly in front of you.'"238
When the Muslim woman
eats with her hand, she does so in a
nice, good-mannered fashion, as the
Prophet (PBUH) used to do. He used to
eat with just three fingers; he did not
plunge his whole hand into the food in a
way that would put others off. This was
reported by Ka`b ibn Malik:
"I saw the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) eating with
three fingers, and when he had
finished he would lick them."239
The Prophet (PBUH)
commanded people to lick their fingers
and clean their plates, as Jabir (RAA)
reported that he said:
"You do not know
where in the food is the
blessing."240
Anas (RAA) said:
"When the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) ate, he
would lick his three fingers. He said:
`If any of you drops a mouthful, let
him pick it up, remove the dirt, and
eat it, and not leave it for the Shaytan.'
He commanded us to clean our plates
and said: `You do not know in which
part of your food is the
blessing.'"241
Besides seeking the
blessing in the food, this Prophetic
teaching also encourages Muslims to
clean their hands and their plates.
Cleaning them of whatever food is left
befits the person who is clean and well
mannered, and is indicative of his or
her sensitivity and good taste. The West
has now adopted this good practice which
was commanded by the Prophet (PBUH)
fifteen hundred years ago: nowadays the
Europeans clear their plates and do not
leave anything.
Of course, the
sensitive, well-mannered Muslim woman
does not eat noisily, making disgusting
sounds, nor does she take large
mouthfuls such as would cause her to
make a revolting spectacle of herself.
When she has finished
eating, she praises Allah (SWT) as the
Prophet (PBUH) taught us to do, thanking
Allah (SWT) for His blessing and seeking
the reward of those who give praise and
thanks.
Abu Umamah (RAA) said
that when the Prophet (PBUH) finished
his meal, he would say:
"Al-hamdu
lillahi kathiran tayyiban mubarakan
fihi, ghayra makfiyyin wa la
muwadda`in wa la mustaghnan `anhu,
rabbana (Praise be to Allah, much
good and blessed praise. O our Lord,
we cannot compensate Your favour, nor
leave it nor dispense with it)."242
Mu`adh ibn Anas (RAA)
said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `Whoever eats a
meal then says Al-hamdu lillahi
alladhi at`amani hadha wa razaqanihi
min ghayri hawlin minni wa la quwwatin
(Praise be to Allah (SWT) Who fed me
and bestowed this provision upon me
with no power or ability on my part)',
will be forgiven for the sins
committed prior to it."243
The well-mannered Muslim
woman does not criticize food, no matter
what it is, following the teaching and
example of the Prophet (PBUH). Abu
Hurayrah (RAA) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) never criticized food. If
he liked it, he ate it, and if he did
not like it, he left it."244
The Muslim woman's
manners with regard to drinking are also
derived from the teachings of Islam,
which impart good manners to man in
every aspect of life.
After mentioning the
name of Allah (SWT), she drinks in two
or three draughts. She does not breathe
into the cup, nor does she drink from
the mouth of the jug or bottle if she
can help it. She should not breathe into
her drink, and she should drink sitting
down if she can.
Drinking in two or
three draughts is what the Prophet
(PBUH) used to do, as Anas (RAA)
reported:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) used to breathe three
times245 when
drinking."246
The Prophet (PBUH)
discouraged drinking in one draught:
"Do not drink in
one draught like camels do; drink in
two or three. Mention the name of
Allah (SWT) when you drink, and give
praise to Him when you finish
drinking."247
The Prophet (PBUH)
forbade blowing into one's drink, as is
mentioned in the hadith of Abu Sa`id
al-Khudri:
"A man said, `I
see some dirt in it.' The Prophet
(PBUH) said, `Then pour it out.' He
said, `One draught is not enough for
me.' The Prophet (PBUH) said, `Take
the cup away from your mouth, then
take a breath.'"248
The hadith on the manners
of drinking make it clear that it is
better for the well-mannered Muslim
woman to avoid drinking from the mouth
of the bottle or jug if she can, and to
drink sitting down if possible. This is
preferable, but drinking from the mouth
of the jug or while standing are
permitted, because the Prophet (PBUH)
did so on occasion.
Spreading the
greeting of Islam
One of the distinctive
aspects of the Muslim woman's social
conduct is her insistence on the
greeting of Islam, which she gives to
every Muslim man and woman she meets, in
accordance with the rules of giving salam
outlined by Islam, which command us to
spread salam in a number of ayat
and hadith.
In Islam, greeting
with salam is a clearly defined
etiquette which has been commanded by
Almighty Allah (SWT) in His Book, and
rules and regulations concerning this
greeting have been set out in numerous
hadith to which the scholars of hadith
devoted entire chapters called kitab
al-salam or bab al-salam.
Allah (SWT) commanded
the Muslims to greet one another with salam
in clear, definitive terms in the
Qur'an:
( O you who believe!
Enter not houses other than your own,
until you have asked permission and
saluted those in them . . .) (Qur'an
24:27)
Allah (SWT) commanded the
Muslims to return the greeting with
something similar or something better,
hence it is an obligation on the one who
hears a greeting to return it, and not
to ignore it:
( When a [courteous]
greeting is offyou, meet it with a
greeting still more courteous, or [at
least] of equal courtesy . . .) (Qur'an
4:86)
The Prophet (PBUH)
strongly encouraged the Muslims to
spread salam and to greet those
they know and those they do not know.
`Abdullah ibn `Amr ibn al-`As (RAA)
said:
"A man asked the
Prophet (PBUH), `Which type of Islam
is the best?' He said, `To feed
people, and to say salam to
those you know and those you do not
know.'"249
Greeting with salam
is one of the seven things which the
Prophet (PBUH) commanded his Companions,
and the Muslim ummah after them,
to adhere to. They were listed by
al-Bara' ibn `Azib (RAA):
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) commanded us to do seven
things: to visit the sick, to attend
funerals, to bless someone when he
sneezes, to support the weak, to help
the one who is oppressed, to spread salam,
and to help people fulfil their
oaths."250
The Prophet (PBUH) placed
great emphasis on salam and
encouraged Muslims to use this greeting
in many hadith, because he understood
its effects in spreading brotherly love
and strengthening the ties of love,
closeness and friendship between
individuals and groups. He described it
as something which would lead to love,
and love would lead to faith, and faith
would lead to Paradise:
"By the One in
Whose hand is my soul, you will not
enter Paradise until you believe, and
you will not believe until you love
one another. Shall I not tell you of
something which if you do it, you will
love one another? Spread salam
amongst yourselves."251
He (PBUH) also said that
the one who initiated the greeting would
be closer to Allah (SWT) and more
deserving of His pleasure, favour and
blessing:
"The closest of
the people to Allah (SWT) is the one
who starts the greeting of salam."252
`Abdullah ibn `Umar
(RAA) used to go to the market in the
morning, and he did not pass by
anybody without saying salam to
him. One day he was asked, "What
do you do in the market, when you do
not sell anything, or ask about
prices, or haggle, or join any
gatherings?" He said, "We go
there in the morning for the purpose
of saying salam to whoever we
meet."253
In Islam, greeting with salam
is not considered to be the matter of a
social custom defined by men, that may
be changed and adapted according to time
and circumstances. Greeting with salam
is a clearly-defined etiquette which has
been commanded by Almighty Allah (SWT)
in His Book, and rules and regulations
concerning this greeting have been set
out, as described above.
There is only one form
of the greeting, to which Muslim men
and women who are aware of Islamic
manners and are keen to apply Islamic
teachings adhere. It is: "al-salamu
`alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
(peace be upon you, and the mercy and
blessings of Allah (SWT))." The
man or woman who is initiating the
greeting says it like this - in the
plural form - even if he or she is
greeting only one person. The man or
woman thus addressed responds: "wa`alaykum
al-salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu."254
The Muslim woman who is
keen to be distinguished by her Islamic
identity adheres to this blessed form of
greeting, which is the original greeting
of Islam, and does not substitute any
other kind of greeting.
This correct Islamic
greeting should not be replaced by other
greetings, such as the old-fashioned
Arabic greeting "`im sabahan,"
or modern greetings such as "sabah
al-khayr," "good
morning," or "bonjour"
(in Arabic, English and French,
respectively), and other usages which
are spreading in the Muslim societies
that have deviated from the guidance of
Islam.
This Islamic greeting
is the greeting which Allah (SWT) chose
for His creation from the time of Adam,
to whom He taught it and commanded him
to greet the angels with it. He wanted
Adam's descendants in all times and
places to use this greeting, because of
its meaning of peace which is something
most beloved by man regardless of where
or when he lives. This divinely-ordained
greeting is preserved nowhere except in
the ummah of Islam which has
adhered to the true way and has not
changed it or deviated from it. The
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"When Allah (SWT)
created Adam (PBUH ), He told him, `Go
and greet those' - a group of angels
who were sitting - `and listen to how
they greet you, for it will be your
greeting and that of your descendants.
So he said: `al-salamu `alaykum,'
and they responded, `wa `alayka
al-salamu wa rahmatullah.' They
added `wa rahmatullah.'"255
No wonder this form is
such a blessed greeting, for it comes
from Allah (SWT), Who commanded us to
adopt it as our greeting and never to
replace it with anything else:
( . . . But if you
enter houses, salute each other - a
greeting or blessing and purity as
from Allah . . . ) (Qur'an 24:61)
Therefore Jibril (PBUH )
used this form of the greeting when he
she used the same form in returning the
greeting. This is reported in the hadith
from `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with
her):
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) told me: `This is Jibril
who is saying salam to you.'
She said, I said: `Wa `alayhi
al-salamu wa rahmatullahi wa
barakatuhu (and upon him be peace
and the mercy and blessings of Allah
(SWT).)'"256
There are also rules
concerning the greeting of salam,
which the true Muslim tries to adhere to
and apply properly in his or her own
social life. These rules are summed up
in the hadith reported by Bukhari and
others from Abu Hurayrah (RAA):
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `The one who is
riding should say salam to the
one who is walking, the one who is
walking to the one who is sitting, and
the smaller group to the larger
group.'"257 A report
narrated by Bukhari adds the words
"And the young to the old."258
The greeting is
given to men and women alike, as Asma'
bint Yazid (May Allah be pleased with
her) reported that the Prophet (PBUH)
passed by the mosque one day when a
group of women were sitting there and
he waved his hand to them in greeting.259
The greeting is also
to be given to children, to acquaint
them with the manners of greeting and
giving salam. It is reported
that Anas (RAA) passed by some
children and greeted them with salam,
then said, "The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) used to do that."260
When the greeting is
given at night, it should be spoken
softly and in a quiet voice, so that
those who are awake might hear it
without disturbing those who are asleep.
This is what the Prophet (PBUH) used to
do, according to the lengthy hadith of
al-Miqdad (RAA) in which he says:
"We used to put
aside the Prophet's share of the milk
and he would come at night and greet
us in such a way as not to wake those
who were asleep, but those who were
awake would hear it. So the Prophet
(PBUH) came and greeted us as he
usually did . . ."261Salam
should be given when joining a gathering
and when leaving it. The Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"When any one of
you comes to a gathering, let him say salam,
and when he wants to leave, let him
say salam. The former is not
more important than the latter."262
The Muslim woman who is
distinguished by her true Islamic
manners understands the sublime
teachings of the Prophet (PBUH)
concerning the greeting of salam
and its etiquette. She follows this
etiquette precisely in her private and
social life, and encourages others to do
likewise.
She does not enter
a house other than
her own without
permission
The Muslim woman who
is truly guided by Islam does not enter
a house other than her own without
seeking permission and saying salam
to the people who live there. This
seeking permission is a divine
commandment which is not to be evaded or
ignored:
( O you who believe!
Enter not houses other than your own,
until you have asked permission and
saluted those in them: that is best
for you, in order that you may heed
[what is seemly]. If you find no one
in the house, enter not until
permission is given to you: if you are
asked to go back, go back: that makes
for greater purity for yourselves: and
Allah knows well all that you do . . .
But when the
children among you come of age, let
them [also] ask for permission, as do
those senior to them [in age] . . .
) (Qur'an 24:27-28, 59)
The Muslim woman should
neveven think of seeking permission to
enter a house that she is not permitted
to enter, such as a house where there
are only non-mahram men present.
When she seeks permission to enter, it
is to go to where there are other women
or men who are permitted to see her
(i.e. mahram), and no one else -
in accordance with the commands of Allah
(SWT) and His Messenger.
There are certain
manners in seeking permission which
Islam urges Muslim men and women to
follow whenever they want to visit
somebody:
(1) The woman who is
seeking permission to enter should not
stand squarely in front of the door, but
to the right or left of it. This is what
the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) used to
do. `Abdullah ibn Busr, the Companion of
the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Whenever the
Prophet (PBUH) came to a door seeking
permission to enter, he did not stand
facing it; he would stand to the right
or the left. If he was given
permission, he would enter, otherwise
he would leave."263
The rule of seeking
permission has been given to protect
privacy, as Sahl ibn Sa`d (RAA) reported
that the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Seeking
permission has been made a rule for
the sake of not seeing264."265
Therefore the man or
woman who is seeking permission is not
allowed to stand facing the door, as
this would allow him or her to see
inside when the door is opened.
(2) She should say salam
and then ask for permission. Seeking
permission before saying salam is
incorrect. This is the teaching of the
Prophet (PBUH) as given in the hadith of
Rib`i ibn Hirash who said:
"A man of Bani
`Amir told us that he had sought
permto enter upon the Prophet (PBUH),
who was in a house. He said, `Shall I
get in?' The Messenger of Allah (PBUH)
told his servant, `Go out to this
person and teach him how to seek
permission to enter. Tell him to say
"Al-salam `alaykum, may I
enter?"' The man heard, so he
said `Al-salam `alaykum, may I
enter?' Then the Prophet (PBUH) gave
him permission and he entered."266
(3) She should identify
herself clearly when asked "Who are
you?" by giving her name or kunyah.
She should not reply in vague terms,
such as "It is me." The
Prophet (PBUH) disliked such an answer
from a person knocking at the door, as
such words do not give a clear idea of
the person's identity. He said that a
person should state his or her name
clearly when asking to come in.
Jabir (RAA) said:
"I came to the Prophet (PBUH) and
knocked at the door. He said, `Who is
this?' I answered, `Me,' and he said,
`Me? Me?' as if he disliked this
answer."267
The Prophet (PBUH) thus
taught us that the sunnah when seeking
permission to enter is to state one's
name clearly. This is what he and his
noble companions used to do.
Abu Dharr (RAA) said:
"I went out one
night and saw the Messenger of Allah
(PBUH) walking on his own. I began to
walk in the shadows cast by the
moonlight. He turned around and saw
me, so he said, `Who is this?' and I
said, `Abu Dharr.'"268
Umm Hani' (May Allah be
pleased with her) said:
"I came to the
Prophet's house while he was having ghusl.
Fatimah was screening him and he said,
`Who is this?' I said, `I am Umm
Hani''"269
(4) She should go back if
she is asked to do so, without getting
upset or angry. This is the commandment
of Allah (SWT) in the Qur'an:
( . . . If you are
asked to go back, go back: that makes
for greater purity for yourselves: and
Allah knows well all that you do.) (Qur'an
24:28)
The Prophet (PBUH) taught
that permission to enter should only be
sought three times, then if permission
is given one may enter, otherwise one
should go back. Abu Musa al-Ash`ari
(RAA) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `Seek permission to
enter three times, then if permission
is given to you, enter, otherwise go
back.'"270
Abu Musa once asked `Umar
for permission to enter, and it was not
given, so he went away. `Umar called him
to come back, and they had a lengthy
conversation about seeking permission
and going away. It is useful to quote
this conversation, to demonstrate how
meticulous the Sahabah were in
finding out the teachings of the Prophet
(PBUH) and in applying them. Abu Musa
said:
"I sought
permission to enter upon `Umar three
times, and permission was not given,
so I went away. `Umar called me back
and said: `O servant of Allah (SWT),
did you find it hard to be kept
waiting at my door? You should know
that people find it just as hard to be
kept waiting at your door.' I said,
`No, I asked permission from you three
times and it was not given, so I went
away [and we were commanded to do
this].' He said, `From whom did you
hear this?' I said, `I heard it from
the Prophet (PBUH).' He said, `Have
you heard something from the Prophet
(PBUH) that we have not heard? If you
do not bring some evidence for this I
will make an example of you.' So I
went out until I came to a group of
the Ansar who were sitting in
the mosque. I asked them about it and
they said, `Does anyone doubt you
concerning this?' So I told them what
`Umar had said. They said, `No one but
the youngest of us will come with
you.' So Abu Sa`id al-Khudri - or Abu
Mas`ud - came with me to `Umar, and
told him, `We went out with the
Prophet (PBUH) to visit Sa`d ibn
`Ubadah. When we got there, [the
Prophet (PBUH)] said salam, but
no permission to enter was given. He
said salam a second and a third
time, but no permission was given. He
said, `We have done what we had to,'
then he went away. Sa`d came after him
and said, `O Messenger of Allah, by
the One Who sent you with the truth,
you did not say salam but I
heard you and returned the greeting,
but I wanted to increase the number of
times you said salam to me and
my household.'"Abu Musa said:
"By Allah (SWT), I was being
honest in what I reported of the words
of the Messenger of Allah. He (`Umar)
said: `I agree, but I wanted to be
sure.'"271
In another report
narrated by Muslim, it states that
when this hadith was proven, `Umar
rebuked himself, as it were, by saying
"Was any teaching of the
Messenger of Allah hidden from me? My
business in the market kept me
busy."272
These are the Islamic
rules and manners pertaining to seeking
permission to enter a house. No doubt
the true Muslim woman who is keen to
follow Islamic etiquette will apply
these rules in her everyday life, each
time she knocks on a door to seek
permission to enter, and she will also
teach these manners to her sons and
daughters.
She sits wherever
she finds room in a gathering
Another aspect of the
manners of the true Muslim woman is that
she sits wherever she finds room when
she joins a gathering where other women
have arrived before her and found a
place to sit. This is a refined social
etiquette that is derived from the
example, in word and deed, of the
Prophet (PBUH), and is a sign of good
taste, sensitivity and politeness in the
person who adopts it.
Such a refined Muslim
woman does not force her way through the
group of women who are sitting, or push
them aside in order to force them to
make space for her. This is in
accordance with the teachings of the
Prophet (PBUH) which he taught his
Companions to adopt when they joined his
gathering.
Jabir ibn Samurah
(RAA) said:
"When we came to
the Prophet (PBUH), we would sit
wherever we found room."273
The well-mannered Muslim
woman avoids pushing between two people,
and comes between them only with their
permission, if it is necessary to do so.
Pushing between two people without their
permission is something which the
Prophet (PBUH) forbade and warned
against:
"It is not
permitted for a man to come between
two people except with their
permission."274
Pushing between two
people, whether in a gathering or in
other circumstances, is odd behaviour
which Islam has made clear is disliked.
Muslims are to avoid such behaviour.
There are many hadith and athar
(reports) to that effect; these reports
are narrated in the masculine form, as
they were spoken to the men who were
usually around the Prophet (PBUH), to
remind them of correct Islamic manners,
but these rules apply equally to women.
The laws and commandments of Islam are
addressed to all Muslims, and both men
and women are responsiblfor obeying its
commands and following its guidance.
One of these reports
is that of Sa`id al-Maqbari who said:
"I passed by Ibn
`Umar and there was a man with him
talking to him. I stood by them, and
Ibn `Umar slapped my chest and said:
`If you find two people talking, do
not stand by them and do not sit with
them, until you have asked their
permission.' I said, `May Allah (SWT)
guide you, O Abu `Abdul-Rahman! I only
hoped to hear something good from you
both.'"275
If someone gets up to let
her sit in her place, she should not
accept. This is better and more noble,
and it is closer to the practice of the Sahabah,
may Allah be pleased with them. Ibn
`Umar (RAA) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `None of you should
make another get up then sit in his
place. All of you should move up and
make space (for a latecomer)."276
If anyone stood up to give his place
to him, Ibn `Umar would never accept
it.277
On such occasions, the
Muslim woman always abides by the
guidance of Islam and the conduct of the
Sahabah, may Allah be pleased
with them. So she attains the social
manners that are encouraged by Islam,
and earns the reward of Allah (SWT) for
following the Sunnah of His Prophet
(PBUH).
She does not
converse privately with another woman
when a third is
present
Islam came to form
human beings who are sensitive and
civil, with an awareness and
understanding of the feelings of others.
Therefore Islam has set out social and
moral guidelines that are at the heart
of this religion, and we are commanded
to follow these guidelines and apply
them in our own lives.
One of the guidelines
laid down by the Prophet (PBUH) is that
two people should not talk pbetween
themselves when a third person is
present:
"If you are three,
two should not converse privately to
the exclusion of the other, until more
people join you, because that will
make him sad."278
The Muslim woman whose
solid grounding in Islamic teaching has
given her intelligence, sensitivity and
good manners, avoids whispering and
conversing privately when she is in a
group of no more than three women. She
is careful not to hurt the feelings of
the third woman, lest she feel excluded
and offended. If there is an urgent need
for two of them to converse privately,
then they must ask the permission of the
third woman, speak briefly, then
apologize to her.
This is the attitude
of the Muslim woman who is truly guided
by Islam, and this is the civil way in
which she deals with other women. She
learns all this from the teachings of
Islam and the stories of the Sahabah,
whose lives and manners were so
completely permeated with the teachings
and morals of Islam, that they never
ignored these sensitive issues in their
dealings with people. This is reflected
in many reports which describe their
careful respect for human feelings. An
example is the report given by Imam
Malik in al-Muwatta', from
`Abdullah ibn Dinar who said:
"Ibn `Umar and I
were at the house of Khalid ibn
`Uqbah, which was in the market, when
a man came in wanting to speak to him
(Ibn `Umar) in private. I was the only
other person present, so Ibn `Umar
called another man to make our number
up to four. Then he told me and the
newcomer, `Move a little way off
together, for I heard the Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) say, "Two should not
converse privately to the exclusion of
another."'"279
The Muslim woman who is
truly guided by the teachings of Islam
and the way in which the best of
generations (i.e. the Sahabah)
applied them follows the example of Ibn
`Umar (RAA), who did not want to listen
to a man who had come in off the street
suddenly to converse with him in
private, because he knew that there was
a third person present whose feelings
could be hurt if he asked him to move
away on his own. He waited to listen to
the man who wanted to converse in
private, until he had called a fourth
man, then he explained to all of them
that this was the sunnah of the Prophet
(PBUH), and repeated the hadith to them,
reminding the Muslims that this is the
approach they should take when they find
themselves in such situations,
respecting people's feelings and
following the sunnah of the Prophet
(PBUH).
How fine are the
social manners encouraged by Islam! How
great is the honour which Islam bestows
upon human beings and the respect and
consideration it shows towards their
feelings!
She respects elders
and distinguished people
Islam brought a host
of fine social rules which instil an
attitude of chivalry, nobility, good
manners and politeness in the heart of
the Muslim. One of the most prominent of
these teachings is to give due respect
to elders and those who are deserving of
respect (such as scholars, etc.)
The Muslim woman who
is truly guided by Islam does not
neglect to follow this most essential,
basic Islamic ruling, which gives the
Muslim woman her genuine identity in the
Islamic society. Whoever lacks this
quality forfeits his or her membership
in this community and no longer has the
honour of belonging to the ummah
of Islam, as the Prophet (PBUH) stated:
"He does not
belong to my ummah who does not
honour our elders, show compassion to
our young ones, and pay due respect to
our scholars."280
Respect for elders
and giving them priority over those
who are younger, are indications of a
community's or society's level of
civility, of its members'
understanding of the rules of human
morality, and of their high level of
good manners. This is just as true of
women as it is of men. Hence the
Prophet (PBUH) was keen to reinforce
this understanding in the hearts of
the Muslims, whilst he was raising the
structure of the Islamic society.
Among the evidence of his concern to
achieve this are his words to
`Abdul-Rahman ibn Sahl, who was
speaking although he was the youngest
member of the delegation that had come
to the Prophet (PBUH). The Prophet
(PBUH) told him, "Let someone who
is older than you speak, let someone
who is older than you speak." So
Abdul-Rahman fell silent, and someone
who was older than him spoke.281
When the modern Muslim
woman shows respect to a lady who is
older than her, or honours a woman who
is deserving of respect, she is doing a
worthwhile moral duty that in fact is a
part of worship, because honouring one's
elders and those who are distinguished
is part of glorifying Allah (SWT), as
the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Part of
glorifying Allah (SWT) is honouring
the grey-haired (i.e., older) Muslim,
the one who has learnt the Qur'an by
heart without exaggerating about it or
ignoring its teachings, and honouring
the just ruler."282
By behaving in this way,
the Muslim woman follows the command of
the Prophet (PBUH) to give people their
rightful positions in the Islamic
society. Imam Muslim mentions this at
the beginning of his Sahih, where
he says:
"It was reported
that `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased
with her) said, `The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) ordered us to put people
in their rightful positions.'"283
The Muslim woman should
not forget that giving people their
rightful position means recognizing
their positions and giving priority to
elders, scholars, those who have
memorised the Qur'an, those who are wise
and those who are distinguished, whether
they are men or women.
She does not look
into other people's houses
Another of the
qualities of the well-mannered Muslim
woman is that she does not look around
the home of her host or seek to inspect
its contents. This is not behaviour that
befits the wise, decent Muslim woman; it
is a hateful, undesirable attitude. The
Prophet (PBUH) warned those who let
their gaze wander in gatherings and try
to see things that are none of their
business, and he said that it was
permissible to put their eyes out:
"Whoever looks
into someone's home without their
permission, then it is permissible for
the people of the house to put their
eyes out."284She avoids yawning in
a gathering
as much as she can
The Muslim woman who
is sensitive and well-mannered does not
yawn in a gathering if she can help it.
If the urge to yawn overtakes her, then
she tries to resist it as much as
possible. This is what the Prophet
(PBUH) advised:
"If any of you
wantsto yawn, then let him suppress it
as much as possible."285
If the urge to yawn
cannot be resisted, then she should
cover her mouth with her hand, as the
Prophet (PBUH) commanded:
"If any of you
yawns, let him cover his mouth with
his hand so that the Shaytan
does not enter."286
Yawning in front of
others is unpleasant and off-putting. It
does not befit the decent person.
Therefore he or she must resist the urge
to yawn, or at least cover his or her
open mouth with his or her hand, so that
the others present need not see it. The
Prophet (PBUH) taught the Muslims, men
and women, how to behave properly in a
social setting so that they will not put
people off or make them feel that they
are bored with them and want to leave
them or want them to leave. This is the
way in which the polite Muslim woman who
follows Islamic etiquette conducts
herself.
She follows Islamic
etiquette
when she sneezes
It is no secret to the
Muslim woman that just as Islam has
defined the manners governing the act of
yawning in gatherings, it has also
defined the etiquette to be observed
when one sneezes. Islam teaches the
Muslims, men and women, how they should
behave when they sneeze, what they
should say to the one who sneezes, and
how they should pray for him or her.
Abu Hurayrah (RAA)
said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) said: `Allah (SWT) likes the
act of sneezing and dislikes the act
of yawning. When any one of you
sneezes and says "al-hamdu-lillah",
then he has the right to hear every
Muslim say "yarhamuk Allah."
But yawning is from the Shaytan,
so if any of you feels the urge to
yawn, he should resist it as much as
he can, for when any of you yawns, the
Shaytan laughs at him."287
This simple reflex action
does not occur in the Muslim's life
being regulated by certain manners which
make the Muslims feel, in the depths of
their heart, that this religion came to
reform all issues in this life, great
and small like, and to give them certain
words to say which would constantly
connect humanity to Allah (SWT), the
Lord of the Worlds.
When a Muslim woman
sneezes, she should say "Al-hamdu
lillah," and the one who hears
her should say, "yarhamuk Allah."
Then she must respond to her sister's du`a'
by saying "yahdikum Allah wa
yuslih balakum (may Allah guide you
and correct your thinking)." This
is the teaching of the Prophet (PBUH)
according to the hadith narrated by
Bukhari:
"When any one of
you sneezes, let him say `al-hamdu
lillah,' and let his brother or
companions say `yarhamuk Allah.'
And if he says `yarhamuk Allah,'
let the first one say, `yahdikum
Allah wa yuslih balakum.'"288
This du`a', yarhamuk
Allah, is said to the one who
sneezes in response to his or her saying
al-hamdu lillah. If he or she
does not say al-hamdu lillah,
then there is no obligation to respond
in this way. The Prophet (PBUH) said:
"When any of you
sneezes and praises Allah (SWT), then
respond to him [by saying yarhamuk
Allah], but if he does not praise
Allah (SWT), then do not respond to
him."289
Anas (RAA) said:
"Two men sneezed
in the presence of the Prophet (PBUH),
and he responded to one of them and
not the other. The one to whom he did
not respond said, `So-and-so sneezed
and you responded. I sneezed and you
did not respond.' He said, `He praised
Allah (SWT), but you did not.'"290
Discussing these words
which the Prophet (PBUH) encouraged the
Muslims to say when someone sneezes
highlights their ultimate aim, which is
to mention and praise Allah (SWT), and
to strengthen the ties of brotherhood
and friendship among all Muslims, men
and women. The one who sneezes praises
Allah (SWT) for relief from some
sensitivity or irritation which he had
in his nose, and the one who hears him
praise Allah (SWT) prays for mercy for
him, because the one who praises Allah
(SWT) deserves mercy. The one who
sneezes then responds with a longer and
more comprehensive du`a' which is
full of meanings of goodness, love and
friendship.
Thus Islam takes these
involuntary actions of Muslims and makes
them into opportunities for remembering
and praising Allah (SWT) and reinforcing
the feelings of brotherhood (and
sisterhood), love and compassion in
their hearts.
Another of the good
manners to be observed when sneezing is
to place one's hand over one's mouth and
to make as little noise as possible.
This is what the Prophet (PBUH) used to
do. Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said,
"When the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) sneezed, he
used to place his hand or part of his
garment over his mouth and thus reduce
the noise he made."291
The well-mannered Muslim
woman who is aware of Islamic etiquette
does not forget, in such situations
where a person may be taken by surprise,
to conduct herself in the manner
prescribed by the Prophet (PBUH) and to
use the same words that he is reported
to have used when he sneezed. This is
the etiquette to be observed, in
obedience to the words of the Prophet
(PBUH), whenever she or another person
sneezes, or in response to a sister who
"blesses" her (says yarhamuk
Allah) when she sneezes.
She does not seek
the divorce of another woman
so that she may
take her place
The true Muslim woman
feels that she is living in a Muslim
community, whose members are her
brothers and sisters. In such a
divinely-guided community, cheating,
deceit, treachery and all the other vile
attitudes that are rampant in societies
that have deviated from the guidance of
Allah (SWT), are forbidden.
One of the worst of
these attitudes is that of the woman who
looks at a married man with the
intention of snatching him from his wife
once they are divorced so that he will
be all hers. The true Muslim woman is
the furthest removed from this vile
attitude, which the Prophet (PBUH)
forbade when he forbade a numbers of
other, similarly evil attitudes and
practices. We see this in the hadith
narrated by Bukhari and Muslim from Abu
Hurayrah (RAA), who said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) said: `Do not outbid one
another (in order to raise prices
artificially)292; do not
undercut one another293; a
town-dweller should not sell something
on behalf of a Bedouin294;
a man should not propose to a woman to
whom his brother has already proposed;
a woman should not ask for the divorce
of another so that she might deprive
her of everything that belongs to her.295"296
According to a report
narrated by Bukhari, also from Abu
Hurayrah, the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"It is not
permitted for a woman to ask for her
sister's divorce so that she may take
everything she has, for she will have
what has been decreed for her."297
The Muslim woman is the
sister of another, and believes that
what Allah (SWT) has decreed for her
must surely happen. She cannot be a true
believer unless she likes for her sister
what she likes for herself, as the
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"None of you truly
believes until he likes for his
brother what he likes for
himself."298
The Muslim woman is
protected by her knowledge and faith
from falling into the trap of this sin.
She is saved from such appalling error
by her obedience to Allah (SWT) and His
Messenger, and by her acceptance of the
high human values that Islam has made
part of her nature. She does not avoid
this sin only to be protected from the
scandal that surrounds a woman who
commits such a vile deed; a woman could
conceal her evil schemes and thus be
spared social blame, but she can never
escape the punishment of Allah (SWT),
Who knows what is secret and what is yet
more hidden. [Ta-Ha 20:7]
She chooses the
work that suits
her feminine nature
Islam has spared women
the burden of having to work to earn a
living, and has made it obligatory on
her father, brother, husband or other
male relative to support her. So the
Muslim woman does not seek work outside
the home unless there is pressing
financial need due to the lack of a
relative or spouse to maintain her
honourably, or her community needs her
to work in a specialised area such as
befits her feminine nature and will not
compromise her honour or religion.
Islam has made it
obligatory for a man to spend on his
family, and has given him the
responsibility of earning the costs of
living, so that his wife may devote
herself being a wife and mother,
creating a joyful and pleasant
atmosphere in the home and organising
and running its affairs.
This is the Islamic
view of woman and the family, and this
is the Islamic philosophy of marriage
and family life.
The Western philosophy
of women's role, the home, the family
and children is based on the opposite of
this. When a girl reaches a certain age
- usually seventeen years old - neither
her father, her brother nor any of her
male relatives are obliged to support
her. She has to look for work to support
herself, and to save whatever she can to
offer to her future husband. If she gets
married, she has to help her husband
with the expenses of the home and
children. When she gets old, if she is
still able to earn, she must continue to
work to earn a living, even if her
children are rich.
No doubt the wise
Muslim woman understands the huge
difference between the position of the
Muslim woman and the position of women
in the West. The Muslim woman is
honoured, protected, and guaranteed a
decent living; the Western woman works
hard and is subjected to exhaustion and
humiliation, especially when she reaches
old age.
Since the end of the
last century, Western thinkers have
continually complained about the plight
of Western women. They have warned their
people about the impending collapse of
Western civilization, due to women's
going out to work, the disintegration of
the family and the neglect of the
children.
The great Islamic da`i
Dr. Mustafa al-Siba`i, may Allah have
mercy on him, collected a number of
comments by Western thinkers in his book
Al-mar'ah bayna al-fiqh wa'l-qanun
(Woman between fiqh and law).
These comments reflect the severe anger
and deep anguish felt by those thinkers
when they see how low the position of
women in the West has become. We wilook
here at a few of these comments that
give a vivid impression of the state of
women in the West.
The French economic
philosopher Jules Simon said:
"Women have started to work in
textile factories and printing presses,
etc. . .. The government is employing
them in factories, where they may earn a
few francs. But on the other hand, this
has utterly destroyed the bases of
family life. Yes, the husband may
benefit from his wife's earnings, but
apart from that, his earnings have
decreased because now she is competing
with him for work."
He also commented:
"There are other, higher-class
women, who work as book-keepers or
store-keepers, or who are employed by
the government in the field of
education. Many of them work for the
telegraph service, the post office, the
railways or the Bank of France, but
these positions are taking them away
from their families completely."299
"A woman must
remain a woman, because with this
quality she can find happiness or bring
it to others. Let us reform the position
of women, but let us not change them.
Let us beware of turning them into men,
because that would make them lose much,
and we would lose everything. Nature300
has done everything perfectly, so let us
study it and try to improve it, and let
us beware of anything that could take us
away from its laws."301
The famous English
writer Anna Ward said: "It is
better for our daughters to work as
servants in houses or like servants at
home. This is better, and less
disastrous than letting them work in
factories, where a girl become dirty and
her life is destroyed. I wish that our
country was like the lands of the
Muslims, where modesty, chastity and
purity are like a garment. Servants and
slaves there live the best life, where
they are treated like the children of
the house and no-one harms their honour.
Yes, it is a source of shame for England
that we make our daughters examples of
promiscuity by mixing so much with men.
Why do we not try to pursue that which
makes a girl do work that agrees with
her natural temperament, by staying at
home, and leaving men's work for the
men, to keep her honour safe."302
The Western woman
envies the Muslim woman, and wishes that
she could have some of the rights,
honour, protection and stability that
the Muslim woman enjoys. There are many
proofs of this, some of which have been
quoted above (see p 86 of orig.).
Another example is the comment of an
Italian student of law at Oxford
University, after she had heard
something of the rights of women in
Islam and how Islam gave women all kinds
of respect by sparing her the obligation
to earn a living so that she may devote
herself to caring for her husband and
family. This Italian girl said: "I
envy the Muslim woman, and wish that I
had been born in your country."303
This reality sunk into
the minds of the leaders of the women's
movement in the Arab world, especially
those who were reasonable and fair.
Salma al-Haffar al-Kazbari, who visited
Europe and America more than once,
commented in the Damascus newspaper al-Ayyam
(September 3, 1962), in response to
Professor Shafiq Jabri's remarks on the
misery of the American woman in his book
Ard al-sihr (The land of magic):
"The
well-travelled scholar noted, for
example, that the Americans teach their
children from a very early age to love
machines and heroism in their games. He
also remarked that the women have
started to do men's work, in car
factories and street-cleaning, and he
felt sorry for the misery of the woman
who spends her youth and her life doing
something that does not suit her
feminine nature and attitude. What
Professor Jabri has to say made me feel
happy, because I came back from my own
trip to the United States five years
ago, feeling sorry for the plight of
women to which they have been drawn by
the currents of blind equality. I felt
sorry for their struggle to earn a
living, for they have even lost their
freedom, that absolute freedom for which
they strived for so long. Now they have
become prisoners of machines and of
time. It is too difficult to go back
now, and unfortunately it is true that
women have lost the dearest and best
things granted to them by nature, by
which I mean their femininity, and their
happiness. Continuous, exhausting work
has caused them to lose the small
paradise which is the natural refuge of
men and women alike. Children cannot
grow and flourish without the presence
of a woman who stays at home with them.
It is in the home and in the bosom of
the family that the happiness of society
and individuals rests; the family is the
source of inspiration, goodness and
genius."
Throwing women into
the battlefield of work, where they must
compete with men to take their place or
share their positions, when there is no
need to do so and the interests of
society as a whole do not require it, is
indeed a grave mistake. It is a great
loss that nations and peoples suffer
from at times of decline, tribulation
and error. The Muslim woman who is
guided by the Qur'an and Sunnah does not
accept to be thrown into that
battlefield, and refuses to become some
cheap commodity that is fought over by
the greedy capitalists, or some gaudy
doll whose company is enjoyed by immoral
so-called men. She rejects, with fierce
pride, that false "progress"
that calls for women to come out
uncovered, almost naked and adorned with
make up, to work alongside men in
offices. With this wise, balanced,
honourable attitude, she is in fact
doing a great service to her society and
nation, by calling for an end to this
ridiculous competition of women with men
in the workplace, and the resulting
corruption, neglect of the family, and
waste of money. This is the best good
deed a woman can do, as was reflected by
the comments of the ruler of North Korea
to the Women's Union conference held in
his country in 1981:
"We make women
enter society, but the reason for that
is definitely not a lack of workers.
Frankly speaking, the burden borne now
by the state because of women's going
out is greater than any benefits that
may result from women's going out to
work. . . So why do we want women to go
out and be active in society? Because
the main aim is to make women become
revolutionary, so that they will become
part of the working class through their
social activity. Our party encourages
women to go out and be active in
revolutiwomen and making them part of
the working class, no matter how great a
burden this places on the state."
No doubt the
truly-guided Muslim woman knows exactly
where she stands when she realises the
great difference between the laws of
Islam and the laws of jahiliyyah.
So she chooses the laws of Allah (SWT),
and does not pay any attention to the
nonsense calls of jahiliyyah that
come from here and there every so often:
( Do they then seek
a judgement of [the Days of]
Ignorance? But who, for a people whose
faith is assured, can give better
judgement than Allah?) (Qur'an
5:50)
She does not imitate
men
The Muslim woman who
is proud of her Islamic identity does
not imitate men at all, because she
knows that for a woman to imitate men,
or a man to imitate women, is forbidden
by Islam. The wisdom and eternal law of
Allah (SWT) dictate that men have a
character distinct from that of women,
and vice versa. This distinction is
essential for both sexes, because each
of them has its own unique role to play
in life. The distinction between the
basic functions and roles of each sex is
based on the differences in character
between them; in other words, men and
women have different characters and
personalities.
Islam put things in
order when it defined the role in life
of both men and women, and directed each
to do that for which they were created.
Going against this divinely-ordained
definition is a rebellion against the
laws of nature according to which Allah
(SWT) created man, and is a distortion
of the sound, original nature of man.
This is surely abhorrent to both sexes,
and nothing is more indicative of this
than the fact that women despise those
effeminate men who imitate women, and
men despise those coarse, rough women
who act like men. The universe cannot be
cultivated and populated properly, and
humanity cannot achieve true happi,
unless the sexes are clearly
differentiated, so that each may
appreciate and enjoy the unique
character of the other, and both may
work together to achieve those aims.
For all these reasons,
Islamic teachings issue a severe and
clear warning to men who imitate women
and women who imitate men.
Ibn `Abbas (RAA) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) cursed the men who act
like women and the women who act like
men."304
In another report, Ibn
`Abbas said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) cursed men who act effeminate
and women who act like men, and said,
`Expel them from your houses.' The
Prophet (PBUH) expelled So-and-so [a
man], and Abu Bakr expelled So-and-so
[a woman]."305
Abu Hurayrah (RAA) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) cursed the man who
dresses like a woman and the woman who
dresses like a man."306
When the Muslims were in
good shape, governed by the shari`ah
of Allah (SWT) and guided by the light
of Islam, there was no trace of this
problem of men and women resembling one
another. But nowadays, when the light of
Islam has dimmed in our societies, we
find many young girls wearing tight,
body-hugging trousers and unisex shirts,
with uncovered heads and arms, who look
like young men; and we find effeminate
men, wearing chains of gold around their
necks that dangle on their bare chests,
and with long flowing hair that makes
them look like young women. It is very
difficult to tell the difference between
them.
These shameful scenes,
that may be seen in some Islamic
countries that have been overcome by al-ghazw
al-fikri (intellectual colonialism)
and whose youth are spiritually
defeated, are alien to the Islamic ummah
and its values and customs. They have
come to us from both the corrupt West
and faithless East, which have been
overwhelmed by waves of hippies,
existentialism, frivolity and nihilism,
and other deviant ideas that have
misguided humanity and caused great
suffering, as they have led people far
away from their true, sound nature (fitrah)
and distorted them, bringing the worst
problems and diseases to those people as
a result.
We have also suffered
from the fall-out of all this, which
overtook the lives of men and women who
deviated from the guidance of Allah
(SWT) in some Muslim countries after the
collapse of the khilafah and the
disintegration of the ummah. Many
Islamic values were lost, and these
deviant men and women became alienated
from the ummah, rebelling against
its true, original values and distinct
character.
She calls people to
the truth
The true Muslim woman
understands that mankind was not created
in vain, but was created to fulfil a
purpose, which is to worship Allah
(SWT):
( I have only
created Jinns and men, that
they may serve Me.) (Qur'an 51:56)
Worshipping Allah (SWT)
may be done through any positive,
constructive action undertaken to
cultivate and populate the world, to
make the word of Allah (SWT) supreme on
earth, and to apply His laws in life.
All of these constitute part of that
truth to which Muslim men and women are
required to call people.
Hence the true Muslim
woman is aware of her duty to call as
many other women as possible to the
truth in which she believes, seeking
thereby the great reward which Allah
(SWT) has promised those who sincerely
call others to the truth, as the Prophet
(PBUH) said to `Ali (RAA):
"By Allah (SWT),
if Allah (SWT) were to guide just one
man through you it would be better for
you than red camels."307
A good word which the
Muslim woman says to other women who are
careless about matters of religion, or
to a woman who has deviated from the
guidance of Allah (SWT), will have an
effect on them, and will come back to
the sister who calls others to Allah
(SWT) with a great reward that is worth
more than red camels, which were the
most precious and sought-after wealth
among the Arabs at that time. In
addition, a reward like that of the ones
who are guided at her hands will also be
given to her, as the Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"Whoever calls
people to the truth will have a reward
like that of those who follow him,
without it detracting in the least
from their reward."308
The Muslim woman does not
think little of whatever knowledge she
has if she is calling other women to
Allah (SWT). It is sufficient for her to
convey whatever knowledge she has
learned, or heard from other peoples'
preaching, even if it is just one ayah
from the Book of Allah (SWT). This is
what the Prophet (PBUH) used to tell his
Companions to do:
"Convey
(knowledge) from me even if it is just
one ayah . . ."309
This is because whether
or not a person is guided may depend on
just one word of this ayah which
may touch her heart and ignite the spark
of faith, so that her heart and her life
will be illuminated with the light of
guidance.
The Muslim woman who
is calling others to Allah (SWT) does
not spare any effort in calling other
women to the truth - and how great is
the need for this call in these times -
seeking the pleasure of Allah (SWT) and
spreading awareness among those women
who were not fortunate enough to receive
this teaching and guidance previously,
and thus proving that she likes for her
sister what she likes for herself. These
are the characteristics of the woman who
calls others to Allah (SWT), that
distinguish her from ordinary women.
They are noble, worthy characteristics
that were highly praised and encouraged
by the Prophet (PBUH):
"May Allah (SWT)
make his face shine, the one who hears
something from us and conveys it as he
hears it, for perhaps the one to whom
it is conveyed will understand it
better than the one who conveyed
it."310
The Muslim woman who is
truly guided by the Qur'an and Sunnah is
like a lighted lamp that shows
travellers the way on the darkest night.
She cannot conceal her light from her
sisters who are stumbling in the
darkness when she has seen the great
reward that Allah (SWT) has prepared for
true, sincere callers to the truth.
She enjoins what is
good and
forbids what is
evil
The duty of enjoining
what is good and forbidding what is evil
(al-amr bi'l-ma`ruf wa'l-nahy `an
al-munkar) is not confined only to
men; it applies equally to men and
women, as is stated in the Qur'an:
( The Believers, men
and women, are protectors, one of
another: they enjoin what is just, and
forbid what is evil: they observe
regulprayers, practice regular
charity, and obey Allah and His
Messenger. On them will Allah pour His
Mercy: for Allah is Exalted in Power,
Wise.) (Qur'an 9:71)
Islam gave women a high
social standing when it gave her this
great social responsibility of enjoining
what is good and forbidding what is
evil. For the first time in history,
women were to be the ones issuing
instructions, whereas everywhere else
except in Islam they had been the ones
to receive instructions
In response to this
responsibility, which in fact is a great
honour, the Muslim woman rises up to
carry out the duty of enjoining what is
good and forbidding what is evil, within
the limits of what suits her feminine
nature. Within the limits of her own
specialised field, she confronts evil -
which is no small matter in the world of
women - whenever she sees it, and she
opposes it with reason, deliberation,
wisdom and a clever, good approach. She
tries to remove it with her hand, if she
is able to and if doing so will not lead
to worse consequences. If she cannot
remove it by her actions, then she
speaks out to explain what is right, and
if she is not able to do so, then she
opposes it in her heart, and starts to
think of ways and means of opposing and
eradicating it. These are the means of
opposing evil that were set out by the
Prophet (PBUH):
"Whoever of you
sees an evil action, let him change it
with his hand, and if he is not able to
do so, then with his tongue, and if he
is not able to do so, then with his
heart - and that is the weakest of
faith."311
When the alert Muslim
woman undertakes this duty of enjoining
what is good and forbidding what is
evil, she is in effect being sincere
towards her wayward or negligent Muslim
sisters, for religion is sincerity (or
sincere advice), as the Prophet (PBUH)
explained most eloquently when he summed
up Islam in one word: nasihah. If
that is indeed the case, then the
Muslimwoman has no option but to enjoin
what is good and forbid what is wrong,
in order to fulfil the definition of
sincerity as stated by the Prophet
(PBUH):
"Religion is
sincerity (nasihah)." We
asked, "To whom?" He said,
"To Allah (SWT), to His Book, to
His Messenger, and to the leaders of
the Muslims and their common
folk."312
The Muslim woman's
speaking out to offer nasihah and
to enjoin what is good and forbid what
is evil in women's circles will lead to
the correction of many unIslamic
customs, traditions and habits that are
prevalent among some women. How many
such practices there are among women who
neglect or deviate from Islam; the
Muslim woman who confronts these customs
and explains the correct Islamic point
of view is doing the best thing she can
for her society and ummah, and
she is one of the best of people:
A man stood up whilst
the Prophet (PBUH) was on the minbar
and asked: "O Messenger of Allah,
which of the people is the best?"
He said, "The best of the people
are those are most well-versed in
Qur'an, those who are most pious,
those who most enjoin what is good and
forbid what is evil, and those who are
most respectful towards their
relatives."313
The alert Muslim woman is
a woman with a mission. She never
remains silent about falsehood or fails
to uphold the truth or accepts any
deviation. She always strives to benefit
her sisters in the Muslim community, and
save them from their own shortcomings,
backwardness, ignorance and deviations.
She undertakes her duty of enjoining
what is good and forbidding what is
evil, in obedience to the command of
Allah (SWT) and His Messenger, and to
protect herself from the punishment of
Allah (SWT) which befalls those
societies where no voice is raised to
enjoin what is good and forbid what is
evil.
When Abu Bakr (RAA)
became the khalifah, he
ascended the minbar, praised
Allah (SWT), then said, "O
people, you recite the ayah, ( `O
you who believe! Guard your own souls:
if you follow [right] guidance no hurt
can come to you from those who stray .
. .') (Qur'an 5:105) and you are
misinterpreting it. Verily I heard the
Prophet (PBUH) say: `Those people who
see some evil and do not oppose it or
seek change will shortly all be
punished by Allah (SWT).'"314
The Muslim woman who is
sincere in her Islam, whose faith is
strong and whose mind is open to the
guidance of Islam, is always active in
the cause of goodness, enjoining what is
good and forbidding what is evil,
offering sincere advice and reforming
corrupt situations. She does not accept
negativity, passiveness, negligence or
vacillation in herself, and never
accepts any compromise or deviance in
matters of Islam and its rituals.
Religion and `aqidah are serious
matters; it is no joke, and it is not
permitted to remain silent about any
deviance or error in religious matters,
otherwise we will end up like the Jews,
who earned Allah's wrath when they
vacillated and became careless with
regard to their religion:
"Among the people
who came before you, the children of
Israel, if any one of them did wrong,
one of them would denounce him so that
he could say that he had done his
duty, but the next day he would sit
and eat with him as if he had never
seen him do anything wrong the day
before. When Allah (SWT) saw this
attitude of theirs, he turned the
hearts of some of them against others
and cursed them by the tongue of Dawud
and `Isa ibn Maryam, because they
disobeyed and persisted in excesses
[cf. Qur'an 5:78]. By the One in Whose
hand is my soul, you must enjoin what
is good and forbid what is evil, and
you must stay the hand of the
wrongdoer and give him a stern warning
to adhere to the truth, otherwise
Allah (SWT) will surely turn the
hearts of some of you against others,
and curse you as He has cursed
them."315She is wise and
eloquent in her da`wah
The Muslim woman who
seeks to call others to Allah (SWT) is
eloquent and clever in her da`wah,
speaking wisely and without being pushy
to those whom she calls, and taking into
account their intellectual levels and
social positions. With this wise and
good preaching, she is able to reach
their hearts and minds, just as the
Qur'an advises:
( Invite [all] to
the Way of your Lord with wisdom and
beautiful preaching . . .) (Qur'an
16:125)
The sister who is calling
others is careful not to be long-winded
or boring, and she avoids over-burdening
her audience. She does not speak for too
long, or discuss matters that are
difficult to understand. She introduces
the idea that she wants to convey in a
brief and clear fashion, using
attractive and interesting methods, and
presenting the information in stages, so
that her audience will understand it
easily and will be eager to put their
new knowledge into practice. This is
what the Prophet (PBUH) used to do in
his own preaching, as the great
Sahabi `Abdullah ibn Mas`ud (RAA)
tells us. He used to preach a little at
a time to the people, every Thursday. A
man said to him, "I wish that you
would teach us every day." He said,
"What prevents me from doing so is
the fact that I would hate to bore you.
I show consideration towards you by
choosing a suitable time to teach you,
just as the Prophet (PBUH) used to do
with us, for fear of making us
bored."316
One of the most
important qualities of the wise and
eloquent da`iyah is that she is
gentle with the women she is calling.
She is patient with the slowness or
inability to understand on the part of
some of them, their ignorance of many
matters of religion, their repeated
mistakes and their many tedious
questions, following the example of the
master of all those men and women who
call others to the way of Allah (SWT) -
the Prophet (PBUH) - who was the supreme
example of patience, kindness and
open-heartedness. He responded to
questioners like a tolerant, caring
guide and gently-correcting teacher,
never frustrated by their slowness to
understand, or irritated by their many
questions and the need to repeat the
same answers many times until they
understood and left him, content with
the lesson they had learned.
An example of this
gentle approach is the account of the Sahabi
Mu`awiyah ibn al-Hakam al-Sulami (RAA),
who said:
"Whilst I was
praying with the Prophet (PBUH), one
of the men in the congsneezed, so I
said, `Yarhamuk Allah (may
Allah have mercy on you).' The people
glared at me, so I said, `May my
mother be bereft of me! What are you
staring at me like that for?' They
began to strike their thighs with
their hands, and when I realised that
they were telling me to be quiet, I
fell silent. The Prophet (PBUH), may
my father and mother be sacrificed for
him, finished the prayer, and I have
never seen a better teacher than he,
before or since. By Allah (SWT), he
did not rebuke me or strike me or
insult me. He merely said, `This
prayer should contain nothing of the
everyday speech of men; it is just tasbih,
takbir and the recitation of
Qur'an,' or words to that effect. I
said, `O Messenger of Allah, I am
still very close to the time of jahiliyyah
(i.e., I am very new in Islam). Allah
(SWT) has brought us Islam, yet there
are some among us who still go to
soothsayers.' He said, `Never go to
them.' I said, `And there are some who
are superstitious.' He said, `That is
just something that they imagine; it
should not stop them from going ahead
with their plans.'"317
Another characteristic of
the successful da`iyah, and one
of the most attractive and influential
methods she can use, is that she does
not directly confront wrongdoers with
their deeds, or those who are failing
with their shortcomings. Rather she is
gentle in her approach when she
addresses them, hinting at their
wrongdoing or shortcomings indirectly
rather than stating them bluntly, and
asking them, gently and wisely, to rid
themselves of whatever bad deeds or
failings they have. She is careful not
to hurt their feelings or put them off
her da`wah. This wise, gentle
approach is more effective in treating
social ills and moral and psychological
complaints, and it is the method
followed by the Prophet (PBUH), as
`A'ishah (May Allah be pleased with her)
said:
"When the Prophet
(PBUH) heard that someone had done
something wrong, he did not say `What
is wrong withso-and-so that he says
(such-and-such)?' Rather, he would
say, `What is wrong with some people
that they say such-and-such?. .
."318
Another important feature
of the da`iyah, that will
guarantee her success, is that
she speaks clearly to her audience and
repeats her words without boring them
until she is certain that they have
understood and that her words have
reached their hearts. This is what the
Prophet (PBUH) used to do, as Anas (RAA)
said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) used to repeat things three
times when he spoke, so that they
would be understood. When he came to a
people, he would greet them with salam
three times."319
`A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) said:
"The speech of the
Prophet was very clear. Everyone who
heard it understood it."320She mixes with
righteous women
In her social life,
the Muslim woman seeks to make friends
with righteous women, so that they will
be close friends and sisters to her, and
she will be able to co-operate with them
in righteousness, taqwa and good
deeds, and in guiding and teaching other
women who may have little awareness of
Islam. Mixing with righteous women
always brings goodness, benefits and a
great reward, and deepens women's sound
understanding of Islam. For this reason
it was encouraged in the Qur'an:
( And keep your soul
content with those who call on their
Lord morning and evening, seeking His
Face, and let not your eyes pass
beyond them, seeking the pomp and
glitter of this Life; nor obey any
whose heart We have permitted to
neglect the remembrance of Us, one who
follows his own desires, whose case
has gone beyond all bounds.) (Qur'an
18:28)
The true Muslim woman
only makes friends with noble, virtuous,
righteous, pious women, as the poet
said: "Mixing with people of noble
character, you will be counted as one of
them, So do not take anyone else for a
friend."
The true Muslim woman
does not find it difficult to mix with
righteous women, even if they are
apparently below her own socio-economic
level. What really counts is a woman's
essential personality, not her physical
appearance or wealth. Musa (PBUH ), the
Prophet of Allah, followed the righteous
servant so that he might learn from him,
saying with all good manners and
respect:
( May I follow you
on the footing that you teach me
something of the [Higher] Truth which
you have been taught?) (Qur'an
18:66)
When the righteous
servant answered:
( Verily, you will
not be able to have patience with me!)
(Qur'an 18:67)
Musa said, with all
politeness and respect:
( You will find me,
if Allah so will, [truly] patient: nor
shall I disobey you in aught.) (Qur'an
18:69)
When choosing friends
from among the righteous women, the
Muslim woman does not forget that people
are like metals, some of which are
precious while others are base, as the
Prophet (PBUH) explained when describing
different types of people:
"People are metals
like gold and silver. The best of them
at the time of Jahiliyyah will
be the best of them in Islam, if they
truly understand. Souls are like
conscripted soldiers: if they
recognise one another, they will
become friends, and if they dislike
one another, they will go their
separate ways."321
The Muslim woman also
knows from the teachings of her religion
that friends are of two types: the
righteous friend and the bad friend. The
good friend is like the bearer of musk:
when she sits with her, there is an
atmosphere of relaxation, generosity,
perfume and happiness. The bad friend is
like the one who operates the bellows:
when one sits with her, there is the
heat of flames, smoke, stench and an
atmosphere of gloom. The Prophet (PBUH)
gave the best analogy of this:
"The good
companion and the bad companion are
like the bearer of musk and the one
who pumps the bellows. With the bearer
of musk, either he will give you a
share, or you will buy from him, or
you will smell a pleasant scent from
him; but with the one who pumps the
bellows, either he will burn your
clothes or you will smell a foul
stench from him."322
Therefore the Sahabah
used to encourage one another to visit
good people who would remind them of
Allah (SWT) and fill their hearts with
fear of Allah (SWT), religious teaching
and respect. Anas (RAA) reported the
following incident:
"Abu Bakr said to
`Umar (RAA), after the Prophet (PBUH)
had died, `Let us go and visit Umm
Ayman323 as the Messenger
of Allah (PBUH) used to do.' When they
reached her, she wept, so they asked
her, `Why do you weep? What is with
Allah (SWT) is better for the Prophet
(PBUH) (than this world).' She said,
`I am not weeping because I do not
know that what is with Allah (SWT) is
better for the Prophet (PBUH). I am
weeping because the Revelation from
Heaven has ceased.' She moved them
deeply with these words, and they
began to weep with her."324
The gatherings of
righteous women, where Allah (SWT) is
remembered and the conversation is
serious and beneficial, are surrounded
by the angels and shaded by Allah (SWT)
with His mercy. In such gatherings,
souls and minds are purified and
refreshed. It befits righteous,
believing women to increase their
attendance at such gatherings and
benefit from them, as this will do them
good in this world and bring them a high
status in the Hereafter.
She strives to
reconcile between
Muslim women
The Muslim community
is distinguished by the fact that it is
a community in which brotherhood
prevails, a society that is filled with
love, communication, understanding,
tolerance and purity. However, it is
still a human society, and as such it
cannot be entirely free of occasional
disputes and conflicts which may arise
among its members from time to time and
lead to division and a breaking of ties.
But these disputes,
which emerge sometimes in the Muslim
community, soon disappear, because of
the divine guidance that the members of
this community have received, which
reinforces the feelings of brotherhood,
love and closeness among them, and
destroys the roots of hatred and enmity,
and because of the good efforts for
reconciliation that Islam urges its
followers to make whenever there is a
dispute between close friends, where the
Shaytan has caused conflict and
division betweethem. We have seen above
how Islam forbids two disputing Muslims
to forsake one another for more than
three days:
"It is not
permitted for a believer to forsake
another for more than three days. If
three days have passed, let him meet him
and greet him with salam. If he
returns the greeting, then they will
both share in the reward, and if he does
not return the greeting, then the one
who initiated the greeting will be free
of blame."325
Islam also commands
the Muslims, men and women, to reconcile
between two conflicting parties:
( If two parties
among the Believers fall into a
quarrel, make peace between them: but
if one of them transgresses beyond
bounds against the other, then fight
[all of you] against the one that
transgresses until it complies, then
make peace between them with justice,
and be fair: for Allah loves those who
are fair [and just].) (Qur'an
49:9)
The society of believing
men and women should be governed by
justice, love and brotherhood:
( The Believers are
but a single Brotherhood: so make
peace and reconciliation between your
two [contending] brothers; and fear
Allah, that you may receive Mercy.) (Qur'an
49:10)
Therefore the Muslim
woman is required to reconcile between
her disputing sisters, following the
guidance of Islam. Islam has permitted
women to add words for the purpose of
bringing disputing parties together and
softening stony hearts. Such comments
are not considered to be the kinds of
lies that are haram, and the one
who says them is not regarded as a liar
or a sinner. We find evidence of this in
the hadith of Umm Kalthum bint `Uqbah
ibn Abi Mu`ayt (May Allah be pleased
with her), who said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `He is
not a liar who reconciles between
people by telling them good news or
saying something good.'"326
According to a report
narrated by Muslim, she added:
"I did not hear
him permit anything of what people
might say except in three cases."
She meant: war, reconciling between
people, and the speech of a man to his
wife or a wife to her husba.327
She mixes with other
women and
puts up with their
insults
The active Muslim
woman is a woman with a mission who has
a message to deliver. Whoever undertakes
this important mission should prepare
herself to be patient and steadfast, and
to make sacrifices along the way.
The active Muslim
woman has no other choice but to put up
with the bad attitude and rude reactions
of some women, their misinterpretation
of her aims, their mocking of her call
to adhere to the morals and manners of
Islam, their shallow and confused
thinking, their slow response to the
truth, their focus on themselves and
their own interests, their concern with
foolish, trivial matters, their devotion
to this world and its pleasures, their
failure to take the Hereafter into
account or to follow the commandments of
Islam, and other foolish things that may
annoy the da`iyahs and make them,
in moments of irritation and
frustration, think of isolating
themselves and keeping away from people,
and abandoning their work for the sake
of Allah (SWT). This is what all those
men and women who seek to call others to
Allah (SWT) face in every place and
time.
For this reason the
Prophet (PBUH) sought to strengthen the
resolve of the believers and reassure
them, by announcing that those who have
patience in treading the long and
difficult path of da`wah are
better, according to the scale of taqwa
and righteous deeds, than those who have
no patience:
"The believer who
mixes with people and bears their
insults with patience is better than
the one who does not mix with people
or bear their insults with
patience."328
The Prophet (PBUH), and
the other Prophets before him, represent
the supreme example of patience in the
face of people's misbehaviour,
suspicions and foolishness. The da`i needs
to hold fast to this example every time
he feels his patience running out, or
that he is under stress and overwhelmed
by the insults and hostility of people.
One example of the
Prophet's supreme patience comes in a
report given by Bukhari and Muslim. The
Prophet (PBUH) divided some goods as he
usually did, but one of the Ansar
said, "By Allah (SWT), this
division was not done for the sake of
Allah (SWT)." The Prophet (PBUH)
heard these unjust words and was deeply
offended by them. His expression changed
and he became angry, but then he said,
"Musa suffered worse insults than
these, and he bore them with
patience." With these few words,
the Prophet's anger was dispelled and
his noble, forgiving heart was soothed.
This is the attitude
of the Prophets and the sincere da`is
in every time and place: patience in the
face of people's insults, suspicions and
rumours. Without this patience, the da`wah
could not continue and the da`is
could not persevere.
The clever Muslim
woman who calls other to Allah (SWT) is
not lacking in intelligence; she is able
to understand the psychology,
intellectual level and social position
of her audience, and she addresses each
type of woman in the way that will be
most appropriate and effective.
She repays favours
and is grateful for them
One of the
characteristics of the true Muslim woman
is that she is faithful and loyal: she
appreciates favours and thanks the one
who does them, following the command of
the Prophet (PBUH):
"Whoever has a
good turn done to him should return
the favour."329
"Whoever seeks
refuge with Allah (SWT), then grant
him protection . . . and whoever does
you a good turn, then return the
favour."330
For the alert Muslim
woman, gratitude for favours is a
religious matter encouraged by the
teachings of the Prophet (PBUH). It is
not merely the matter of social courtesy
dictated by mood or whatever interests
may be at stake. The one who does a
favour deserves to be thanked, even if
no particular interest is served by her
deed. It is sufficient that she has done
a favour, and for this she deserves to
be sincerely thanked. This is what Islam
expects of Muslim men and women. One
thanks the other person for her good
intentions and chivalrous motives, and
for hastening to do good, regardless of
the actual or potential outcome in terms
of one's interests and desires.
The concern of Islam
to establish this attitude in the heart
of the Muslim reached the extent that
gratitude towards Allah (SWT) is deemed
to be incomplete and imperfect without
gratitude towards people for their
favours and good deeds. The one who does
not thank people for their acts of
kindness or find a word to say that will
make them feel chivalrous, is an
ungrateful wretch who does not
appreciate blessings or give thanks for
them. Such a one is not qualified to
give thanks to Allah (SWT), the Giver of
all blessings and favours. Concerning
this the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"He does not give
thanks to Allah (SWT) who does not
give thanks to people."331
The wise Muslim woman
does not forget that thanking the one
who has done a favour encourages good
deeds and makes people become accustomed
to acknowledging and appreciating good
deeds. All of this will strengthen the
ties of friendship between the members
of a community, open their hearts to
love, and motivate them to do good
deeds. This is what Islam aims to instil
and reinforce in the Islamic society.
She visits the sick
Visiting the sick is
one of the Islamic social customs that
was established and encouraged by the
Prophet (PBUH), who made it a duty on
every Muslim man and woman, and made it
a right that one Muslim may expect from
another:
"The rights of a
Muslim over his brother are five: he
should return his salam, visit
the sick, attend funerals, accept
invitations, and `bless' a person (by
saying yarhamuk Allah) when he
sneezes."332
According to another
report, the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"The rights of the
Muslim over his brother are six."
It was asked, "What are
they?" The Prophet (PBUH) said:
"When you meet him, greet him
with salam; when he invites
you, accept his invitation; when he
seeks your advice, advise him; when he
sneezes and says al-hamdu-lillah,
`bless' him (by saying yarhamuk
Allah); when he is ill, visit him;
and when he dies, accompany him (to
his grave)."333
When the Muslim woman
visits the sick, she does not feel that
she is merely doing a favour or trying
to be nice; she feels that she is doing
an Islamic duty that the Prophet (PBUH)
urged Muslims to do:
"Feed the hungry,
visit the sick, and ransom the
prisoners of war."334
Al-Bara' ibn `Azib (RAA)
said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) commanded us to visit the
sick, to attend funerals, to `bless'
someone when he sneezes, to fulfil all
oaths, to come to the aid of the
oppressed, to accept invitations, and
to greet everyone with salam."335
When the Muslim woman
visits the sick, she does not feel that
this is a burdensome duty that could
depress her because of the atmosphere of
gloom and despair that may surround the
sick person. On the contrary, she senses
a feeling of spiritual joy and
satisfaction which none can feel except
those who truly understand the hadith
which describes the goodness, reward and
blessing contained in such visits. The
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Allah (SWT) will
say on the Day of Resurrection: `O son
of Adam, I fell ill and you did not
visit Me.' He will say, `O Lord, how
could I visit You when You are the
Lord of the Worlds?' He will say, `Did
you not know that My servant so-and-so
had fallen ill, and you did not visit
him? Did you not know that had you
visited him, you would have found Me
with him? O son of Adam, I asked you
for food and you did not feed Me.' He
will say, `O Lord, how could I feed
you when You are the Lord of the
Worlds?' He will say, `Did you not
know that My servant so-and-so asked
you for food, and you did not feed
him? Did you not know that had you fed
him you would surely have found that
[i.e., the reward for doing so] with
Me? O son of Adam, I asked you to give
Me to drink and you did not give Me to
drink.' He will say, `O Lord, how
could I give You to drink when You are
the Lord of the Worlds?' He will say,
`My servant so-and-so asked you to
give him to drink and you did not give
him to drink. Had you given him to
drink you would surely have found that
with him.'"336
How blessed is such a
visit, and how great a good deed, which
aman undertakes to do for his sick
brother, when by doing so he is in the
presence of the Almighty Lord who
witnesses his noble deed and rewards him
generously for it. Is there any greater
and more blessed visit which is honoured
and blessed and encouraged by the Lord
of Heaven and Earth? How great is the
misery and loss that will befall the one
who failed in this duty! How great will
be his humiliation when the Almighty
Lord declares, before all present:
"O son of Adam, I fell ill and you
did not visit Me . . . Did you not know
that My servant so-and-so had fallen
ill, and you did not visit him? Did you
not know that had you visited him, you
would have found Me with him?" We
will leave to our imagination the sense
of regret, humiliation and shame that
will overwhelm the man who neglected to
visit his sick brother, at the time when
such regret will be of no avail.
The sick person in an
Islamic community feels that he is not
alone at his hour of need; the empathy
and prayers of the people around him
envelop him and alleviate his suffering.
This is the pinnacle of human civility
and emotion. No other nation in history
has ever known such a level of emotional
and social responsibility as exists in
the ummah of Islam.
The sick person in the
West may find a hospital to admit him
and a doctor to give him medicine, but
rarely will he find a healing touch,
compassionate word, kindly smile,
sincere prayers, or true empathy. The
materialistic philosophy that has taken
over Westerners' lives has extinguished
the light of human emotion, destroyed
brotherly feelings towards one's
fellow-man, and removed any motives but
materialistic ones for doing good deeds.
The Westerner does not
have any motive to visit the sick,
unless he feels that he may gain some
material benefit from this visit sooner
or later. In contrast, we find that the
Muslim is motivated to visit the sick in
the hope of earning the reward which
Allah (SWT) has prepared for the one who
gets his feet dusty (i.e., goes out and
about) for His sake.
There are many hadith
texts on this topic, which awaken
feelings of brotherhood in the Muslim's
heart and strongly motivate him to visit
his sick brother. For example:
"When the Muslim
visits his (sick) Muslim brother, he
will remain in the fruits of Paradise337
until he returns."338
"No Muslim
visits a (sick) Muslim in the morning
but seventy thousand angels will bless
him until the evening, and if he
visits him in the evening, seventy
thousand angels will bless him until
the morning, and fruits from Paradise
will be his."339
With his deep insight
into human psychology, the Prophet
(PBUH) understood the positive impact of
such visits on the sick person and his
family, so he never neglected to visit
the sick and speak to them the kindest
words of prayer and consolation. He was
the epitome of such kindness, which led
him to visit a young Jewish boy who used
to serve him, as Anas (RAA) narrated:
"A young Jewish
boy used to serve the Prophet (PBUH).
He fell ill, so the Prophet (PBUH)
went to visit him. He sat by his head
and told him, `Enter Islam.' The boy
looked to his father, who was present
with him. His father said, `Obey
Abu'l-Qasim.' So the boy entered
Islam. The Prophet (PBUH) left,
saying, `Praise be to Allah, Who has
saved him from the Fire."340
When visiting this sick
Jewish boy, the Prophet (PBUH) did not
neglect to call him to Islam, because he
knew the effects his visit would have on
the boy and his father, who were
overwhelmed by his generosity, kindness
and gentle approach. So they responded
to him, this visit bore fruits of
guidance, and the Prophet (PBUH) left
praising Allah (SWT) that a soul had
been saved from the Fire. What a great
man, and what a wise and eloquent da`i
the Prophet (PBUH) was!
The Prophet (PBUH) was
so concerned about visiting the sick
that he set out principles and
guidelines for so doing, which were
followed by the Sahabah and
recorded in the books of Sunnah.
One of these practices
is to sit at the head of the sick
person, as we have seen in the story of
the Jewish boy, and as Ibn `Abbas (RAA)
said:
"When the Prophet
(PBUH) visited a sick person, he would
sit at his head then say seven times:
`I ask Almighty Allah (SWT), the Lord
of the Mighty Throne, to heal
you.'"341
Another of these
practices is to wipe the body of the
sick person with the right hand and pray
for him, as `A'ishah (May Allah be
pleased with her) reported:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) used to visit some of his
relatives and wipe them with his right
hand, saying `O Allah, Lord of
mankind, remove the suffering. Heal
for You are the Healer. There is no
healing except for Your healing, the
healing which leaves no trace of
sickness.'"342
Ibn `Abbas (RAA) said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) went to visit a Bedouin who was
sick, and whenever he visited a sick
person, he would say, `No worry, (it
is) purification343, in sha
Allah."344
The Muslim woman whom
Islam has filled with a sense of great
humanity hastens to visit the sick
whenever she hears news of someone's
illness. She does not try to postpone or
avoid such visits, because she feels the
importance of them in the depths of her
heart, as the Prophet (PBUH) described
it and as the virtuous early Muslim
women put it into practice in the most
praiseworthy fashion. They did not only
visit women who were sick; they also
visited men, within the framework of
modesty and avoiding fitnah.
In Sahih Bukhari,
it states that Umm al-Darda' visited
an Ansari man who lived in the
mosque (when he was sick).
The same source also
gives the following account:
"Qutaybah told us,
from Malik, from Hisham ibn `Urwah,
from his father, from `A'ishah who
said: `When the Messenger of Allah
(PBUH) came to Madinah, Abu Bakr and
Bilal, may Allah be pleased with them,
fell ill. I entered upon them and
said, "O my father, how are you
feeling? O Bilal, how are you
feeling?"'"345
The earliest Muslim women
understood the meaning of visiting the
sick and the role it plays in
maintaining the ties of friend,
compassion and affection. So they
hastened to perform this noble duty,
lifting the spirits of the sick person,
wiping away the tears of the
grief-stricken, alleviating the burden
of distress, strengthening the ties of
brotherhood, and consoling the
distressed. The modern Muslim woman
could do well to follow the example of
the early Muslim women and revive this
praiseworthy sunnah
She does not wail
over the dead
The Muslim woman who
knows the teachings of her religion has
insight and is balanced and
self-controlled. When she is stricken by
the death of one of those whom she
loves, she does not let grief make her
lose her senses, as is the case with
shallow, ignorant women who fall apart
with grief. She bears it with patience,
hoping for reward from Allah (SWT), and
follows the guidance of Islam in her
behaviour at this difficult time.
She never wails over
the deceased, because wailing is not an
Islamic deed; it is the practice of the kuffar,
and one of the customs of jahiliyyah.
The Prophet (PBUH) was very explicit in
his emphatic prohibition of wailing, to
the extent that it was regarded as kufr:
"There are two
qualities in people that are
indicative of kufr: casting
doubts on a person's lineage, and
wailing over the dead."346
The Prophet (PBUH)
effectively excluded from the Muslim
community those men and women who wail
and eulogise the dead when he said:
"He is not one of
us who strikes his cheeks, or tears
his garment, or speaks the words of jahiliyyah."347
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of Islam knows
that death is real, that everyone on
this earth is mortal and that this life
is merely a corridor to the Hereafter,
where eternity will be in the presence
of Allah (SWT). So there is no need for
this uncontrollable grief which makes a
person become unbalanced and lose his
reason so that he starts to strike his
own face and tear his clothes, screaming
with grief and loss.
The Sahabah
understood this ruling of Islam, even
though they had only very recently left
the jahiliyyah behind. They used
to forbid themselves to eulogise the
dead or raise their voices or scream or
tear their clothes, which were actions
done by women at the of jahiliyyah.
They knew that Islam does not accept the
deeds of jahiliyyah and will not
permit them to return from time to time,
and they used to condemn such actions
just as the Prophet (PBUH) did.
Abu Burdah ibn Abi
Musa said:
"Abu Musa suffered
from some pain, and fell into a coma.
His head was in the lap of a woman
from his family. She shouted at him,
but he was not able to respond. When
he came to, he said: `I shun whatever
the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) shunned,
for he shunned every women who raises
her voice, cuts her hair and tears her
clothes (at the time of
disaster).'"348
Although Islam has
forbidden senseless jahili
actions like sticking one's cheeks,
tearing one's garment, wailing and
eulogising, it recognises the grief that
overwhelms the heart and the tears that
softly flow at the departure of a loved
one. All of this is part of the
legitimate human emotion and gentle
compassion that Allah (SWT) has
instilled in people's hearts, as was
demonstrated by the Prophet (PBUH) in
his words and deeds.
Usamah ibn Zayd said:
"We were with the
Prophet (PBUH) when one of his
daughters sent for him, calling him to
come and telling him that her boy - or
son - was dying. The Prophet (PBUH)
said: `Go back to her and tell her
that whatever Allah (SWT) gives and
takes belongs to Him, and everything
has its appointed time with Him. Tell
her to have patience and to seek
reward from Allah (SWT).' The one who
conveyed this message came back and
said: `She swore that you should come
to her.' The Prophet (PBUH) got up, as
did Sa`d ibn `Ubadah and Mu`adh ibn
Jabal, and I went with them. The boy
was lifted up to him, and his soul was
making a sound like water being poured
into an empty container (i.e., the
death-rattle). The Prophet's eye's
filled with tears, and Sa`d said to
him, `What is this, O Messenger of
Allah?' He said, `This is the
compassion that Allah (SWT) has placed
in the hearts of His servants, and
Allah (SWT) will show compassion to
those of His servants who have
compassion.'"349
`Abdullah ibn `Umar (RAA)
said:
Sa'd ibn `Ubadah fell
ill with some complaint that he
suffered from, and the Prophet (PBUH)
came to visit him, accompanied by `Abd
al-Rahman ibn `Awf, Sa`d ibn Abi
Waqqas and `Abdullah ibn Mas`ud. When
he entered and found him in a coma, he
asked, `Has he passed away?' They
said, `No, O Messenger of Allah.' The
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) wept, and
when the people saw him weeping, they
wept too. He said, `Are you not
listening? Allah (SWT) will not punish
a man for the tears that fall from his
eyes or for the grief that he feels in
his heart, but He will either punish
or have mercy on a man because of
this,' and he pointed to his
tongue."350
Anas (RAA) said:
"The Messenger of
Allah (PBUH) entered upon his son
Ibrahim as he was surrendering his
soul (i.e., dying). Tears began to
well up in the Prophet's eyes. `Abd
al-Rahman ibn `Awf said to him, `Even
you, O Messenger of Allah?' He said,
`O Ibn `Awf, this is compassion.' Then
he wept some more and said, `The eyes
shed tears, and the heart feels grief,
but we say only what which will please
our Lord. And truly we are deeply
grieved by your departure, O
Ibrahim.'"351
The Prophet (PBUH)
approved of expressing grief by letting
tears flow, because people have no power
to restrain tears at times of grief, but
he forbade every deed that can inflame
and exacerbate grief. Shedding tears, in
moderation, can help to soothe the pain
of grief, but wailing, eulogising,
screaming and other jahili
actions only increase the anguish and
make a person more prone to collapse.
These actions are what the Arabs used to
do at the time of jahiliyyah,
when a person would even request it
before his death, so that others would
come and wail over the dead, enumerating
his good qualities and exaggerating
about the impact of this bereavement. An
example of this is to be seen in the
poetry of Tarafah ibn al-`Abd:
"When I die, mention my qualities
as befits me, and rend your garments for
me, O daughter of Ma`bad. Do not make me
like a man whose aspirations are not my
aspirations, who could not do what I
could do, or play the role I play."
All of this is
forbidden by Islam most emphatically,
because it is a waste of energy and
contradicts the acceptance of Allah's
will and decree; it also opens the way
for the Shaytan to lead people
astray and cause fitnah. The
Prophet (PBUH) referred to this, in the
hadith narrated by Umm Salamah (May
Allah be pleased with her), who said:
"When Abu Salamah
died, I said, `He is a stranger in a
strange land. I shall certainly cry
over him a such a way that people will
talk about it.' I prepared myself to
cry over him, but a woman who was
coming from the high places of Madinah
to help me (in crying and wailing) was
met the Messenger of Allah (PBUH). He
asked, `Do you want to let the Shaytan
enter a house from which Allah (SWT)
has expelled him twice?'352
So I stopped crying, and I did not
cry."353
The Prophet's concern to
forbid wailing, especially among women,
reached such a level that when he
accepted the oath of allegiance (bay`ah)
from women, he asked them to pledge to
keep away from wailing. This is seen in
the hadith narrated by Bukhari and
Muslim from Umm `Atiyah who said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) accepted the pledge of
allegiance from us on the basis that
we would not wail."354
According to a report
narrated by Muslim also from Umm
`Atiyah, she said:
"When the ayah
( when believing women come to you
to take the oath of fealty to you,
that they will not associate in
worship any other thing except Allah .
. . And that they will not disobey you
in any just matter . . .) (Qur'an
60:12) was revealed, she said, part of
that was wailing."355
The Prophet (PBUH) warned
the woman who wails over the dead that
if she does not repent before her own
death, she will be raised on the Day of
Resurrection in a most fearful state:
"The woman who
wails, and does not repent befoshe
dies, will be raised on the Day of
Resurrection wearing a shirt of tar
and a garment of scabs."356
He also warned that the
angels of mercy would be kept away from
her, and she would be deprived of their du`a'
for her, as long as she insisted on
wailing and making grief worse. This is
seen in the hadithnarrated by
Ahmad:
"The angels will
not pray for the one who wails and
laments."357
Because of this clear,
definitive prohibition of wailing,
screaming, eulogising, tearing one's
garments and other jahili
actions, the Muslim woman can do nothing
but submit to the commands of Allah
(SWT) and His Messenger, and keep away
from everything that could compromise
the purity of her faith in the will and
decree of Allah (SWT). She does not just
stop there, however, she also calls
women who may be unaware of this to obey
the laws of Allah (SWT) and to keep away
from wailing, once they have understood
the commandments of Allah (SWT) and His
Messenger.
She does not attend
funerals
The Muslim woman who
truly understands the teachings of Islam
does not attend funerals, in obedience
to the command of the Prophet (PBUH), as
reported by Umm `Atiyah (May Allah be
pleased with her):
"We were forbidden
to attend funerals, but not
strictly."358
In this case, women's
position is the opposite of men's
position. Islam encourages men to attend
funerals and to accompany the body until
it is buried, but it dislikes women to
do so, because their presence could
result in inappropriate situations that
would compromise the dignity of death
and the funeral rites. Accompanying the
deceased until the burial offers a great
lesson to those who do it, and seeking
forgiveness for the deceased, and
thinking of the meaning of death that
touches every living thing:
( Wherever you are,
death will find you out, even if you
are in towers built up strong and
high! . . .) (Qur'an 4:78)
The Prophet (PBUH)
discouraged women from attending
funerals (made it makruh), but
did not forbid it outright, because his
discouraging it should be enough to make
the obedient Muslim woman refrain from
doing it. This is a sign of the strength
of her Islam, her sincere obedience to
Allah (SWT) and His Messenger, and her
willingness to adopt the attitude, which
is better and more be.
Footnotes:
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah 13/235, Kitab
al-fada'il, bab husn khalqihi
(PBUH).
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Riyad al-Salihin, 336, Bab husn
al-khalq.
Fath al-Bari,
10/456, Kitab al-adab, bab husn
al-khulq; Sahih Muslim, 15/78, Kitab
al-fada'il, bab kathrah haya'ihi
(PBUH).
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 4/249, in Abwab al-birr,
70. He said it is a hasan hadith.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/375, Bab
sakhawah al-nafs.
Reported by
Tirmidhi 3/244, in Abwab al-birr,
bab husn al-khalq. He said it is a
hasan sahih hadith.
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 2/315, in Abwab al-rida',
11. He said it is a hasan sahih
hadith.
Reported by
al-Tabarani in al-Kabir, 1/181, 183.
The men of its isnad are rijal
al-sahih.
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 3/245, in Abwab al-birr
wa'l-silah, 61. The men of its isnad
are thiqat.
Reported by Abu
Ya'la and al-Tabarani in al-Awsat;
the men of Abu Ya'la are thiqat. See
Majma' al-Zawa'id, 8/22.
Reported by Ahmad,
3/502; its men are thiqat.
Reported by Ahmad,
1/403; its men are rijal al-sahih.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Riyad al-Salihin, 50, Bab
al-sidq.
Shahadat al-zur may
be interpreted in the following
ways: bearing false witness by
giving evidence that is false;
assisting in something which implies
fraud or falsehood; attending the
gatherings of the kuffar on the
occasion of their festivals.
[Translator]
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Riyad al-Salihin, 689, Bab
ghalaz tahrim shahadah al-zur.
Sahih Muslim, 2/37,
Kitab al-iman, bab bayan an al-din
al-nasihah.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/92, Kitab
al-birr wa'l-silah, bab al-nasihah.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 10/61, Kitab
al-imarah wa'l-qada', bab al-ra'i
mas'ul 'an ri'atihi.
Sahih Muslim,
13/38, Kitab al-imarah, bab fadl
i'anah al-ghazi fi sabil-Allah.
Sahih Muslim,
2/108, Kitab al-iman, bab qawl
al-Nabi (PBUH) man ghashshana fa
laysa minna.
Sahih Muslim,
2/109, Kitab al-iman, bab man
ghashshana fa laysa minna.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 10/71-73, Kitab
al-imarah wa'l-qada', bab wa'id
al-ghadr; Riyad al-Salihin, 705, bab
tahrim al-ghadr.
Fath al-Bari,
4/417, Kitab al-buyu', bab ithm man
ba'a hurran.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 1/74, Kitab
al-iman, bab 'alamat al-nifaq.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 1/72, Kitab
al-iman, bab 'alamat al-nifaq.
Sahih Muslim, 2/48,
Kitab al-iman, bab bayan khisal
al-munafiq.
Hayat al-Sahabah
3/99.
Fath al-Bari,
10/476, Kitab al-adab, bab ma yukrah
min al-tamaduh; Sahih Muslim,
18/126, Kitab al-zuhd, bab al-nahi
'an ifrat fi'l-madh.
See al-Adab
al-Mufrad, 1/433, Bab yuhtha fi
wujuh al-maddahin.
Reported by Ahmad,
5/32; its isnad is sahih.
Hayat al-Sahabah,
3/103.
Fath al-bari,
13/170, Kitab al-ahkam, bab ma
yukrah min thana' al-sultan.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Riyad al-Salihin, 364, Kitab
al-adab, bab al-haya' wa fadlulu.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Riyadh al-Salihin, 363, Kitab
al-adab, bab fi'l-haya' wa fadluhu.
Sahih Muslim, 2/7,
Kitab al-iman, bab al-haya' shu'bah
min al-iman.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Riyad al-Salihin, 363, Kitab
al-adab, bab 363.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Riyad al-Salihin, 35, Bab
al-sabr.
Sahih Muslim,
7/124, Kitab al-zakat, bab bayan an
al-yad al-'uliya khayr min al-yad
al-sufla.
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 3/382, Abwab al-zuhd, 8;
Ibn Majah, 2/1316, Kitab al-fitan,
bab kaff al-lisan 'an al-fitnah.
Sahih Muslim,
12/10, Kitab al-aqdiyah, bab al-nahi
'an kathrah al-masa'il min ghayri
hajah.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/419, Bab man
sami'a bi fahishah fa afshaha.
Reported with a
sahih isnad by Abu Dawud, 4/375,
Kitab al-adab, bab fi al-nahi 'an
al-tajassus.
Reported with a
hasan isnad by Ahmad, 5/279.
Reported by
al-Tabarani; the men of its isnad
are thiqat. See Majma' al-Zawa'id,
8/94.
Sahih Muslim,
18/115, Kitab al-zuhd, bab tahrim
al-riya'.
Sahih Muslim,
13/50, Kitab al-imarah, bab man
qatila li'l-riya' wa'l-sum'ah.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 10/323, Kitab
al-riqaq, bab al-riya' wa'l-sam'ah.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah 10/328, Kitab
al-hudud, bab qat' yad al-sharif
wa'l-mar'ah wa'l-shafa'ah fi'l-hadd.
Sahih Muslim,
16/143, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab tahrim al-zulm.
Sahih Muslim,
16/132, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab tahrim al-zulm.
Fath al-Bari, 5/97,
Kitab al-muzalim, bab la yazlum
al-Muslimu al-Muslima wa la
yuslimuhu.
Fath al-Bari,
10/527, Kitab al-adab, bab
al-madarah ma'a al-nas.
Fath al-Bari,
10/528, Kitab al-adab, bab
al-madarah ma'a al-nas.
Sahih Muslim,
15/206, Kitab fada'il al-Sahabah,
bab fada'il Umm al-Mu'minin
'A'ishah.
Fath al-Bari,
8/455, Kitab al-tafsir, bab law la
idh sami'timuhu zann al-mu'minina
wa'l-mu'minat bi anfusihim khayran
[al-Nur 24:12]
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 4/662, Kitab sifat
al-qiyamah, 54. He said it is a
hasan sahih hadith.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/109, Kitab
al-birr wa'l-silah, bab ma la yajuz
min al-zann.
Hayat al-Sahabah,
2/151
A sahih hadith
narrated by Malik in al-Muwatta',
2/975, Kitab al-kalam, bab ma yu'mar
bihi min al-tahaffuz fi'l-kalam.
Sahih Muslim, 1/73,
Introduction, Bab al-nahy 'an
al-hadith bi kulli ma sami'a.
Sahih Muslim, 2/12,
Kitab al-iman, bab bayan tafadul
al-Islam.
Reported by Abu
Dawud, 4/371, Kitab al-adab, bab
fi'l-ghibah; Tirmidhi, 4/660, Kitab
sifat al-qiyamah, 51; he said it is
a hasan sahih hadith.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 1/86, Kitab
al-iman, bab al-kaba'ir.
Reported with a
hasan isnad by Ahmad, 6/461.
Reported with a
sahih isnad by Ahmad, 4/227.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/147, Kitab
al-birr wa'l-silah, bab wa'id
al-namam.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 1/370, Kitab
al-taharah, bab al-istitar 'inda
qada' al-hajah.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 1/76, Kitab
al-iman, bab 'alamat al-nifaq.
Reported by Ahmad
and al-Tabarani; the men of itsisnad
are thiqat. See Majma' al-Zawa'id,
8/64.
Reported by
al-Tabarani; the men of its isnad
are thiqat. See Majma' al-Zawa'id,
8/64.
Fath al-Bari,
10/452, Kitab al-adab, bab lam yakun
al-Nabi (PBUH) fashishan wala
mutafahhishan.
Sahih Muslim,
16/150, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab man la'anahu al-Nabi
(PBUH).
Sahih Muslim,
16/135, Kitab al-birr a'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab tahrim al-zulm.
Sahih Muslim,
16/121, Kitab al-birr, bab tahrim
zulm al-Muslim wa khadhlihi wa
ihtiqarihi.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Riyad al-Salihin, 340, Bab
al-hilm wa'l-anah wa'l-rifq.
Sahih Muslim,
16/146, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab fadl al-rifq.
Sahih Muslim,
16/146, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab fadl al-rifq.
Fath al-Bari,
1/323, Kitab al-wudu', bab sabb
al-ma' 'ala'l-bul fi'l-masjid.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 10/67, Kitab
al-imarah wa'l-qada', bab ma 'ala
al-walah min al-taysir.
Sahih Muslim,
16/145, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab fadl al-rifq.
Reported by Ahmad,
6/104; the men of its isnad are
rijal al-sahih.
Reported by Ahmad,
6/104; the men of its isnad are
rijal al-sahih.
Reported by
al-Bazzar; the men of its isnad are
rijal al-sahih. See Majma'
al-Zawa'id, 8/18, bab ma ja'a
fi'l-rifq.
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 4/654, in Kitab siffah
al-qiyamah, 45; he said it is a
hasan hadith.
The word translated
here as proficiency is ihsan, which
also has connotations of doing well,
decency, etc. [Translator]
Sahih Muslim,
13/106, Kitab al-sayd, bab al-amr bi
ihsan al-dhabh.
Reported by
al-Tabarani; the men of its isnad
are rijal al-sahih. See Majma'
al-Zawa'id, 8/187, Bab rahmat
al-nas.
Reported with a
hasan isnad by al-Tabarani. See
Majma' al-Zawa'id, 8/187, Bab rahmat
al-nas.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/466, Bab
irham man fi'l-ard.
Reported by
al-Tabarani; the men of its isnad
are rijal al-sahih. See Majma'
al-Zawa'id, 8/186, Bab rahmat
al-nas.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 3/410, Kitab
al-salat, bab al-takhfif li amr
yahduth.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/34, Kitab
al-birr wa'l-silah, bab rahmat
al-walad wa taqbilihi.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/34, Kitab
al-birr wa'l-silah, bab rahmat
al-walad wa taqbilihi.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 2/229, Kitab
al-salah, bab fadl salah
al-'iswa'l-fajr fi'l-jama'ah.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 6/171, Kitab
al-zakat, bab fadl saqi al-ma'.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/472, Bab
akhdh al-bayd min al-hammarah.
Sahih Muslim,
14/242, Kitab qatl al-hayyat wa
nahwaha, bab fadl saqi al-baha'im.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 6/142, Kitab
al-zakat, bab kullu ma'ruf sadaqah.
From a hadith whose
authenticity is Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 6/145, Kitab
al-zakat, bab kullu ma'ruf sadaqah.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 6/143, Kitab
al-zakat, bab kullu ma'ruf sadaqah.
Fath al-Bari, 1/53,
Kitab al-iman, bab al-Muslim man
salima al-Muslim min lisanihi wa
yadihi.
Reported by Ahmad;
the men of its isnad are rijal
al-sahih. See Majma' al-Zawa'id,
8/183, Bab fiman yurji khayrahu.
Sahih Muslim,
17/21, Kitab al-dhikr wa'l-du'a',
bab fadl al-ijtima' 'ala tilawah
al-Qur'an wa 'ala'l-dhikr.
Reported with a
jayyid isnad by al-Tabarani in
al-Awsat. See Majma' al-Zawa'id,
8/192, Bab fadl qada' al-hawa'ij.
Sahih Muslim,
16/171, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab fadl izalah al-adha
'an al-tariq.
Sahih Muslim,
16/171, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab fadl izalah al-adha
'an al-tariq.
i.e., by postponing
the payment, if he is the one to
whom it is owed, or by paying off
the debt for him. [Author]
Sahih Muslim,
10/227, Kitab al-musaqah
wa'l-muzari'ah, bab fadl inzar
al-mu'sir.
A hasan sahih
hadith, narrated by Tirmidhi, 3/590,
in Kitab al-buyu', bab ma ja'a fi
inzar al-mu'sir.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 8/196, Kitab
al-buyu', bab thawab man anzara
mu'siran.
Sahih Muslim,
10/227, Kitab al-musaqah
wa'l-muzari'ah, bab fadl inzar
al-mu'sir.
Sahih Muslim,
10/225, Kitab al-musaqah
wa'l-muzari'ah, bab fadl inzar
al-mu'sir.
'Face' here is the
literal translation of the Arabic
word 'wajh', which in this context
may also mean the sake, cause or
presence of Allah. [Translator]
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 6/155,
Kitab al-zakat, bab ma yukrah min
imsak al-mal.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 301,
bab al-karam wa'l-jud wa'l-infaq fi
wujuh al-khayr.
Sahih Muslim,
16/141, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab istihbab al-'afu
wa'l-tawadu'.
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 4/644, In Kitab siffat
al-qiyamah, 33. The reward for
everything except the shoulder would
be stored up for them in the
Hereafter, as they had given it all
away in charity. The part that they
had kept for themselves, the
shoulder, had in effect been
"spent" as it carried no
such reward. [Translator]
Fath al-Bari,
10/330, Kitab al-libas, bab
al-qala'id wa'l-sakhab li'l-nisa'.
Fath al-Bari,
10/330, Kitab al-libas, bab
al-khatim li'l-nisa'.
Fath al-Bari,
10/331, Kitab al-libas, bab al-qurt
li'l-nisa'.
Sahih Muslim, 16/8,
Kitab fada'il al-sahabah, bab
fada'il umm al-mu'minin Zaynab.
Ibn Sa'd,
al-Tabaqat, 8/109, 110; Sifat
al-Safwah, 2/48,49; Siyar A'lam
al-Nubala', 2/212.
Ibn al-Jawzi, Ahkam
al-nisa', p. 446.
See Fath al-Bari,
3/283, Kitab al-zakat, bab ittaqu
al-nar wa law bi shiqq tamarah.
[Check]
Reported with a
sahih isnad by Ahmad, 6/79.
Fath al-Bari,
3/293, Kitab al-zakat, bab man amara
khadimahu bi'l-sadaqah.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 6/143,
Kitab al-zakat, bab kullu ma'rufin
sadaqah.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 6/142,
Kitab al-zakat, bab kullu ma'rufin
sadaqah
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 167,
Bab mulatafah al-yatim wa'l-masakin.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/43,
Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah, bab thawab
kafil al-yatim.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/45,
Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah, bab thawab
kafil al-yatim.
Sahih Muslim,
2/114, Kitab al-iman, bab tahrim
isbal al-izar wa'l-mann bi'l-atiyah.
Sahih Muslim,
1/189, Kitab al-iman, bab mubayi'ah
wafd 'Abd al-Qays.
Fath al-Bari,
10/519, Kitab al-adab, bab al-hadhr
min al-ghadab.
Fath al-Bari,
10/519, Kitab al-munaqib, bab siffah
al-Nabi (PBUH); Sahih Muslim, 15/83,
Kitab al-fada'il, bab muba'idatahihi
(PBUH) li'l-atham.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 3/409,
Kitab al-salat, bab al-iman
yukhaffif al-salat; this version is
that given by Muslim.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah,
12/128, Kitab al-libas, bab
al-tasawir; this version is that
given by Muslim.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah,
10/328, Kitab al-hudud, bab qata'yad
al-sharif wa'l-mar'ah wa'l-shafa'ah
fi'l-hadd..
Fath al-Bari,
7/141, Kitab munqib al-Ansar, bab
dhikr Hind bint 'Utbah.
Sahih Muslim,
15/84, Kitab al-fada'il, bab
muba'idatihi (PBUH) li'l-atham.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyadh al-Salihin, 344,
Bab al-'afu wa'l- 'rad 'an
al-jahilin.
Reported by Bukhari
and Muslim with similar wording. See
Fath al-Bari, 7/497, Kitab
al-maghazi, bab al-shat al-masmumah
and 5/230, Kitab al-hibbah, bab
qabul al-hadiyah min al-mushrikin;
Sahih Muslim, 14/178, Kitab
al-salam, bab al-samm.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 5/150,
Kitab al-da'wat, bat al-du'a
li'l-kuffar bi'l-hidayah
Reported by Ahmad
and al-Tabarani; the men of Ahmad's
isnad are thiqat . See
Majma'al-Zawa'id, 8/188, Bab makarim
al-akhlaq.
Ibn'Abd al-Barr,
al-Isti'ab, 4/1872; Ibn Hijr,
al-Isabah, 8/127.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1?342, Bab
al-'afu wa'l-sufh 'an al-nas.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-sunnah,
13/260, Kitab al-fada'il, bab
ikhtiyarihi aysar al-amrayn (PBUH).
Musnad Ahmad,
3/166.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/210, Bab la
yu'dhi jarahu
Reported by Ibn
Hibban in his Sahih, 10/466, Kitab
al-siyar, bab fadl al-jihad.
Reported by al
Tabarani; the men of its isnad are
thiqat. See Majma'al-Zawa'id, 8/78,
Bab maja'a fi'l-hasad wa'l-zann.
Sahih Muslim,
14/110, Kitab al-libas wa'l-zinah,,
bab al-nahy 'an al-tazwir fi'l-libas
wa ghayrihi..
Reported by Abu
Ya'la and al-Tabarani; the men of
its isnad are thiqat. See
Majma'al-Zawa'id, 10/125, Bab maja'a
fi'l-mutan''amin wa'l-mutanatta'in.
Sahih Muslim,
16/184, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab idha ahabba Allah
'abdan.
Sahih Muslim,
16/189, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab idha ahabba Allah
'abdan
Reported with a
jayyid isnad by Ahmad, 2/185.
Reported by Ahmad
and al-Bazzar; the men of Ahmad's
isnad are rijal al-sahih. See Majma'
al-Zawa'id, 8/87, Bab al-mu'min
ya'laf wa yu'lif.
See Hayat
al-Sahabah, 1/22, 23
Fath al-Bari,
10/471, Kitab al-adab, bab ma yajuz
min ightiyab ahl al-fasad
wa'l-rayab; Sahih Muslim, 16/144,
Kitab al-birr wa'lsillat wa'l-adab,
bab mudarah man yutqi fuhshihi.
Fath al-Bari,
9/175, Kitab al-nikah and 7/317,
Kitab al-baghazi, bab 'ard al-insan
ibnatahu 'ala ahl al-khayr
Sahih Muslim,
16/41, Kitab fada 'il al-Sahabah,,
bab fada'il Anas. Thabit is the name
of the Tabi'i who narrated this
hadith from Anas.
Sahih Muslim, 10/8,
Kitab al-nikah, bab tahrim ifsha'
sirr al-mar'ah.
Sahih Muslim,
16/177, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab istihbab talaqah
al-wajh.
Fath al-Bari,
10/504, Kitab al-adab, bab
al-tabassum wa'l-dahk; Sahih Muslim,
16/35, Kitab fada'il al-Sahabah, bab
fada'il Jarir ibn 'Abdullah.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/365, Bab
al-mazah.
Nughar: a small
bird, like a sparrow. [Author]
Nughayr: diminutive
of nughar [Author]. In Arabic, this
is play on words because of the
rhyme between the boy's name and
that of the bird [Translator]. This
story was narrated in Hayat
al-Sahabah, 3/149.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/366, Bab
al-mazah.
Reported by Ahmad;
the men of its isnad are rijal
al-sahih. See Majma' al-Zawa'id,
9/368, Bab ma ja'a fi Zahir ibn
Hizam.
Reported by
Tirmidhi in al-Shama'il, 111; it is
hasan because of the existence of
corroborating reports.
A sahih hadith
narrated by Ahmad, 6/264 and Abu
Dawud, 3/41, Kitab al-jihad, bab fi
al-sabaq 'ala'l-rajul.
Reported by Abu
Ya'la; the men of its isnad are
rijal al-sahih, except for Muhammad
ibn 'Amr ibn 'Alqamah, whose hadith
is hasan. See Majma' al-Zawa'id,
4/316.
Reported with a
hasan isnad by al-Tabarani in
al-Saghir. See Majma' al-Zawa'id,
8/193, Bab fadl qada' al-hawa'ij.
Fath al-Bari,
9/225, Kitab al-nikah, bab al-niswah
allati yahdina al-mar'ah ila
zawjiha.
Bu'ath: a place in
the environs of Madinah where war
took place between the Aws and
Khazraj before Islam. It was knas
the battle of Bu'ath, and poets
composed many verses about it.
[Author]
Fath al-Bari,
2/440, Kitab al-'idayn, bab al-hirab
wa'l-daraq yawm al-'id.
Fath al-Bari,
2/445, Kitab al-'idayn, bab sunnah
al-'idayn li ahl al-Islam.
Banu Arfidah: a
nickname given to Abyssinians.
[Author]
Fath al-Bari,
2/440, Kitab al-'idayn, bab al-hirab
wa'l-daraq yawm al-'id.
Fath al-Bari,
2/440, Kitab al-'idayn, bab al-hirab
wa'l-daraq yawm al-'id.
Fath al-Bari,
2/440, Kitab al-'idayn, bab al-hirab
wa'l-daraq yawm al-'id.
Fath al-Bari,
2/440, Kitab al-'idayn, bab al-hirab
wa'l-daraq yawm al-'id.
See the reports
given in Fath al-Bari, 2/444.
Fath al-Bari,
2/440, Kitab al-'idayn, bab al-hirab
wa'l-daraq yawm al-'id.
Reported by
Tirmidhi in Manaqib 'Umar. He said:
it is a hasan sahih gharib hadith;
this version is gharib. See 621,
Kitab al-manaqib, 18.
Sahih Muslim, 2/89,
Kitab al-iman, bab tahrim al-kibr.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyadh al-Salihin, 334,
Bab tahrim al-kibr wa'l-i'jab.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 12/9,
Kitab al-libas, bab taqsir
al-thiyab.
Sahih Muslim,
2/115, Kitab al-iman, bab bayan
al-thalatha alladhina la
yukallimuhum Allah yawm al-qiyamah.
Sahih Muslim,
16/173, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab tahrim al-kibr; also
narrated by Bukhari in al-Adab
al-Mufrad, 2/9, Bab al-kibr.
Narrated by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 2/7, Bab
al-kibr.
Sahih Muslim,
16/141, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'-adab, bab istihbab al-'afu
wa'l-tawadu'.
Sahih Muslim,
18/200, Kitab al-jannah wa siffat
na'imiha wa ahliha, bab al-siffat
allati yu'raf biha fi'l-dunya ahl
al-jannah.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyadh al-Salihin, 331,
Bab al-tawadu'.
Fath al-Bari,
10/489, Kitab al-adab, bab al-kibr.
Sahih Muslim,
6/165, Kitab al-jumu'ah, bab
al-ta'lim fi'l-khutbah.
Fath al-Bari,
5/199, Kitab al-hibbah, bab al-qalil
min al-hibbah.
Fath al-Bari, 6/81,
Kitab al-jihad, bab al-hirasah
fi'l-ghazu fi sabil-Allah.
Sahih Muslim,
14/64, Kitab al-libas wa'l-zinah,
bab tahrim al-tabakhtur fi'l-mashi.
Fatawa Ibn
Taymiyah, 22/138, 139.
Reported by
al-Tabarani in al-Kabir; the men of
its isnad are thiqat. See Majma'
al-Zawa'id, 8/188, Bab makarim
al-akhlaq.
Sahih Muslim,
16/140, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab tarahum al-mu'minin
wa ta'atufihim.
Sahih Muslim,
16/139, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab tarahum al-mu'minin
wa ta'atufihim.
Sahih Muslim,
3/128, Kitab al-taharah, bab wujub
ghusl al-rijlayn.
Tabaqat ibn Sa'd,
3/363.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah,
14/312, Kitab al-riqaq, bab hifz
al-lisan.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyadh al-Salihin, 379,
Kitab al-adab, bab ikram al-dayf.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 2/207, Bab
ja'izah al-dayf..
Reported by Imam
Ahmad, 4/155; its men are rijal
al-sahih.
Narrated by
Bukhari, Muslim and others. See
al-Adab al-Mufrad, 2/210, Bab idha
asbaha al-dayf mahruman.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah,
11/320, Kitab al-at'imah, bab ta'am
al-ithnayn yakfi al-thalathah.
Sahih Muslim,
14/22, Kitab al-ashribah, bab
fadilah al-mawasah fi'l-ta'am
al-qalil.
Fath al-Bari,
8/631, Kitab al-tafsir, bab wa
yu'thirun 'ala anfusihim; Sahih
Muslim, 4/12, Kitab al-ashribah, bab
ikram al-dayf.
i.e., Hatim
al-Ta'iyy, as in al-'Aqad al-Farid,
1/236.
Fath al-Bari,
3/143, Kitab al-ja'izah, bab man
ista'adda al-kafn and 4/318, Kitab
al-buyu', bab al-nissaj.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyadh al-Salihin, 310,
Bab al-ithar wa'l-masawah.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 741,
Kitab al-umur al-munhi 'anha, bab
tahrim al-suwar.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyadh al-Salihin, 742,
Kitab al-umur al-munhi 'anha, bab
tahrim al-suwar.
Ibid.
Ibid.
Sahih Muslim,
14/81, Kitab al-libas wa'l-zinah,
bab tahrim taswir al-hayawan.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 744,
Kitab al-umur al-munhi 'anha, bab
tahrim ittikhadh al-kalb illa li
sayd aw mashiyah.
See discussion of
this deviation on pp. [ch9, love for
the sake of Allah]
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 788,
Kitab al-umur al-munhi 'anha, bab
tahrim isti'mal ina' al-dhahab
wa'l-fuddah.
Sahih Muslim,
14/29-30, Kitab al-libas wa'l-zinah,
bab tahrim isti'mal awani al-dhahab
wa'l-fuddah.
The custom at the
time of the Prophet (PBUH) was for
all present to eat from one dish or
platter; this is still the custom in
some Muslim countries [Translator].
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 394,
Kitab adab al-ta'am, bab al-tasmiyah
fi awwalihi al-hamd fi akhirihi.
Reported by Abu
Dawud, 3/475, Kitab al-at'imah, bab
al-tasmiyah; Tirmidhi, 4/288, Kitab
al-at'imah, bab ma ja'a
fi'l-tasmiyah 'ala'l-ta'am.
Sahih Muslim,
13/191, Kitab al-ashribah, bab adab
al-ta'am wa'l-shirab.
Sahih Muslim,
13/192, Kitab al-ashribah, bab adab
al-ta'am wa'l-shirab.
Ibid.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah,
11/385, Kitab al-ashribah, bab
al-bida'ah bi'l-ayman.
This was Ibn 'Abbas
[Author].
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah,
11/386, Kitab al-ashribah, bab
al-bida'ah bi'l-ayman.
i.e., he lost his
hand in the battle of Mu'tah.
[Author]
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 399,
Kitab adab al-ta'am, bab al-akl mima
yalih. [?]
Sahih Muslim,
13/204, Kitab al-ashribah, bab
istihbab la'q al-asabi'.
Sahih Muslim,
13/207, Kitab al-ashribah, bab
istihbab la'q al-asabi'.
Ibid.
Fath al-Bari,
9/580, Kitab al-at'imah, bab ma
yaqul idha faragha min ta'amihi.
Reported by Abu
Dawud, 4/63, Kitab al-libas, chapter
1; and Tirmidhi , 5/508, Kitab
al-da'wat, 56. He said it is a hasan
hadith.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah,
11/290, Kitab al-at'imah, bab la
yu'ib al-ta'am.
i.e., he would
pause and take a breath outside the
cup. [Author]
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 406,
Kitab adab al-ta'am, bab fi adab
al-shirab.
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 4/302, Kitab al-ashribah,
13. He said it is a hasan hadith.
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 4/304, Kitab al-ashribah,
15. He sit is a hasan sahih hadith
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah,
12/260, Kitab al-isti'dhan, bab fadl
al-salam.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyadh al-Salihin, 437,
Kitab al-salam, bab fadl al-salam;
this wording is taken from a report
narrated by Bukhari.
Sahih Muslim, 2/35,
Kitab al-iman, bab bayan annahu la
yadkhul al-jannah illa al-mu'minun.
Reported with a
jayyid isnad by Abu Dawud, 5/380,
Kitab al-adab, bab fi fadl man
bada'a al-salam.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 2/465, Bab man
kharaja yusallim wa yusallam
'alayhi.
The greeting should
always be spoken in Arabic,
regardless of whatever one's native
tongue is or whatever language is
being spoken at any given time.
[Translator]
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 437,
Kitab al-salam, bab fi fadl
al-salam.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 439,
Kitab al-salam, bab kayfiyyah
al-salam.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 440,
Kitab al-salam, bab fi adab
al-salam.
Reported by
Bukhari. See Riyad al-Salihin, 44,
Kitab al-salam, bab fi adab
al-salam.
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 5/58, in Kitab
al-isti'dhan, bab ma ja'a
fi'l-taslim 'ala'l-nisa'. He said it
is a hasan hadith.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 442,
Kitab al-salam, bab al-salam
'ala'l-subyan.
Sahih Muslim,
14/14, Kitab al-ashribah, bab ikram
al-dayf. See also Riyad al-Salihin,
439.
Reported by Abu
Dawud, 5/386, Kitab al-adab, bab
fi'l-salam; Tirmidhi, 5/62, Kitab
al-isti'dhan, 15. Tirmidhi said it
is a hasan hadith.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 2/513, Bab
kayfa yaqum 'ind al-bab..
i.e., so that the
one seeking permission will not see
anything that the people whose house
it is do not want him to see.
[Translator]
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 445,
Kitab al-salam, bab al-isti'dhan wa
adabihi.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 2/518, Bab
idha qala: udkhul? wa lam yusallim;
se also Riyad al-Salihin, 445.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 447,
Kitab al-salam, bab fi bayan an
al-sunnah an yusammi al-musta'dhin
nafsahu.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 447,
Kitab al-salam, bab fi bayan an
al-sunnah an yusammi al-musta'dhin
nafsahu.
Ibid.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 445,
Kitab al-salam, bab fi'l-isti'dhan
wa adabihi.
Fath al-Bari,
11/26, Kitab al-isti'dhan, bab
al-taslim wa'l-isti'dhan; Sahih Mu,
14/130, Kitab al-adab, bab
al-isti'dhan.
Sahih Muslim,
14/134, Kitab al-adab, bab
al-isti'dhan.
Reported by Abu
Dawud, 5/164, in Kitab al-isti'dhan,
16, and Tirmidhi, 5/73, Kitab
al-isti'dhan, 29. Tirmidhi said it
is a hasan sahih gharib hadith.
Reported by Abu
Dawud, 5/175, Kitab al-adab, 24, and
Tirmidhi, 5/44, Kitab al-adab, 11.
Tirmidhi said it is a hasan hadith.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad,2/580, Bab idha
ra'a qawman yatanajuna fala yudkhul
ma'ahum.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah,
12/296, 297, Kitab al-isti'dhan, bab
la yuqim al-rajul min majlisihi idha
hadara. [??]
Sahih Muslim,
14/161, Kitab al-salam, bab tahrim
iqamah al-insan min mawdu'ihi.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/90,
Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah, bab la
yunaja ithnan duna al-thalith.
Al-Muwatta', 2/988,
Kitab al-kalam (6).
Reported with a
hasan isnad by Ahmad and altabarani.
See Majma' al-Zawa'id, 8/14, bab
tawfir al-kabir wa rahmat al-saghir.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 207,
Bab tawfir al-'ulama' wa'l-kibar wa
ahl al-fadl.
A hasan hadith
narrated by Abu Dawud, 5/184, Kitab
al-adab, 23.
Sahih Muslim, 1/55
Sahih Muslim,
14/138, Kitab al-adab, bab tahrim
al-nazr fi bayt ghayrihi.
Fath al-Bari,
10/611, Kitab al-adab, bab idha
tatha'ab fa layada' yadahu 'ala
fihi; Sahih Muslim, 18/123, Kitab
al-zuhd, bab kirahah al-tatha'ub.
Sahih Muslim,
18/122, Kitab al-zuhd, bab kirahah
al-tatha'ub.
Fath al-Bari,
10/611, Kitab al-adab, bab idha
tatha'ab fa layada' yadahu 'ala fihi
Fath al-Bari,
10/608, Kitab al-adab, bab idha
tatha'ab fa layada' yadahu 'ala fihi
Sahih Muslim,
18/121, Kitab al-zuhd, bab tashmiyah
al-'atish.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 448,
Kitab al-salam, bab istihbab
tashmiyah al-'atish.
Reported by Abu
Dawud, 5/288, Kitab al-adab, 98;
Tirmidhi, 5/86, Kitab al-adab, 6.
Tirmidhi said it is a hasan sahih
hadith.
i.e., a person
should not raise the price of
something he has no intention of
buying, in order to mislead another.
[Author]
i.e., do not ask a
person to return something he has
bought so that you may sell him
something similar for a lower price.
[Author]
i.e., he should not
act as an agent for him, controlling
prices in a way that harms the
community. [Author]
i.e., she should
not ask a man to divorce his wife
and marry her instead, so that she
will enjoy all the comforts and good
treatment that were previously
enjoyed by the one who is divorced.
[Author]
Fath al-Bari,
4/352, 353, Kitab al-buyu', bab la
yabi' 'ala bay' akhihi; Sahih
Muslim, 9/198, Kitab al-nikah, bab
tahrim khutbah al-rajul 'ala khutbah
akhihi. This version is that
narrated by Muslim.
Fath al-Bari,
9/219, Kitab al-nikah, bab al-shurut
allati la tukhall fi'l-nikah ???
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/60,
Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah, bab yuhibb
li-akhihi ma yuhibb linafsihi.
Al-mar'ah bayna
al-fiqh wa'l-qanun, 176.
This is an
atheistic Western expression, which
refers to "nature" instead
of Allah the Creator, after the West
turned its back on religion.
[Author]
Al-mar'ah bayna
al-fiqh wa'l-qanun, 178.
Al-mar'ah bayna
al-fiqh wa'l-qanun, 179.
Al-mar'ah bayna
al-fiqh wa'l-qanun, 181.
See Fath al-Bari,
10/332, Kitab al-libas, bab
al-mutashabbihin bi'l-nisa'
wa'l-mutashabbihat bi'l-rijal.
See Fath al-Bari,
10/333, Kitab al-libas, bab ikhraj
al-mutashabbihin bi'l-nisa' min
al-buyut.
A sahih hadith
narrated by Abu Dawud, 4/86, Kitab
al-libas, 31; Ibn Hibban (13) 63,
Kitab al-hizr wa'l-ibahah, bab
al-la'n.
Fath al-Bari,
7/476, Kitab al-maghazi, bab ghazwah
Khaybar.
Sahih Muslim,
16/227, Kitab al-'ilm, bab man sanna
sunnah hasanah [??]
Fath al-Bari,
6/496, Kitab hadith al-anbiya', bab
ma dhukira 'an Bani Isra'il.
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 5/34, in Kitab al-'ilm, 7;
he said it is a hasan sahih hadith.
Sahih Muslim, 2/22,
Kitab al-iman, bab bayan kawn
al-nahy 'an al-munkar min al-iman.
Sahih Muslim, 2/37,
Kitab al-iman, bab bayan an al-din
nasihah.
Reported by Ahmad
and al-Tabarani; the men of their
isnads are thiqat. See Majma'
al-Zawa'id, 7/263, Bab fi ahl
al-ma'ruf wa ahl al-munkar.
Hayat al-Sahabah,
3/233.
Reported by
al-Tabarani, 10/146; the men of its
isnad are rijal al-sahih.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Riyad al-Salihin, 374, Kitab
al-adab, bab fi'l-wa'z wa'l-iqtisad
fihi.
Sahih Muslim, 5/20,
Kitab al-masajid, bab tahrim
al-kalam fi'l-salah.
Hayat al-Sahabah,
3/129.
Fath al-Bari,
1/188, Kitab al-'ilm, bab man a'ada
al-hadith thalathan li yufham 'anhu.
Reported by Abu
Dawud, 4/360, Kitab al-adab, 21; its
isnad is sahih.
Sahih Muslim,
16/185, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab al-arwah junud
mujannadah.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 211,
Bab ziyarat ahl al-khayr wa
majalisatihim.
Umm Ayman was the
Prophet's nursemaid during his
childhood. When he grew up, he gave
her her freedom and married her to
Zayd ibn Harithah. He used to honour
her and treat her with kindness and
respect, and say, "Umm Ayman is
my mother." [Author]
Sahih Muslim, 16/9,
Kitab fada'il al-Sahabah, bab
fada'il Umm Ayman.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/505, Bab
inna al-salam yujzi min al-sawm.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 687,
Kitab al-umur al-munhi 'anha, bab
bayan ma yajuz min al-kadhb.
Sahih Muslim,
16/157, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab tahrim al-kadhb wa
bayan ma yubah fihi.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/478, Bab
alladhi yusbir 'ala adha al-nas.
A hasan jayyid
gharib hadith narrated by Tirmidhi,
4/380, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah, 87.
Reported by Abu
Dawud, 2/172, Kitab al-zakah; Ahmad,
2/68. Its isnad is sahih.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/310, Bab man
lam yashkur al-nas.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 452,
Bab 'iyadah al-marid.
Sahih Muslim,
14/143, Kitab al-salam, bab min haqq
al-Muslim li'l-Muslim radd al-salam.
Fath al-Bari, /517,
Kitab al-at'imah, bab kulu min
tayyibat ma razaqnakum.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Riyad al-Salihin, 451, Kitab
'iyadah al-marid, bab 'iyadah
al-marid.
Sahih Muslim,
16/125, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab fadl 'iyadah
al-marid.
A metaphor for the
reward earned [Translator].
Sahih Muslim,
16/125, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab fadl 'iyadah
al-marid.
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 3/292, Kitab al-jana'iz,
2. He said it is a hasan hadith.
Fath al-Bari,
3/219, Kitab al-jana'iz, bab hal
yu'rad 'ala al-sabi al-Islam?
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad,1/633, Bab ayna
yaq'ud al-'a'id.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Riyad al-Salihin, 454,
Kitab 'iyadah al-marid, bab fima
yad'u bihi li'l-marid.
i.e., may your
sickness be an expiation and cleanse
you of your sins [Author].
Fath al-Bari,
10/118.
Fath al-Bari,
10/117, Kitab al-murda [?], bab
'iyadah al-nisa' al-rijal.
Sahih Muslim, 2/57,
Kitab al-iman, bab itlaq al-kufr
'ala al-ta'an fi'l-nasab
wa'l-niyahah.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 5/436,
Kitab al-jana'iz, bab al-nahy 'an
al-niyahah wa'l-nadab.
Sahih Muslim,
2/110, Kitab al-iman, bab tahrim
darab al-khudud wa shiqq al-juyub.
Sahih Muslim,
6/224, 225, Kitab al-jana'iz, bab
al-bika' [?] 'ala'l-mayyit.
(Bukhari and
Muslim), See Sharh al-Sunnah, 5/429,
Kitab al-jana'iz, bab al-bika' 'ala
al-mayit.
Reported by Bukhari
and Muslim. See Riyad al-Salihin,
463, Kitab 'iyadah al-marid, bab
jawaz al-bika' 'ala al-mayit bi
ghayri nadab wa la niyahah.
The first time was
when Abu Salamah surrendered his
soul (died), and some of his family
were grief-stricken. The Prophet
(SAAS) told them, "Do not pray
for anything but good for
yourselves, for the angels are
saying 'Amin' to whatever you
say," then he prayed for Abu
Salamah. The second time was when
Umm Salamah started telling herself
that she would exaggerate in her
crying for him, then she changed her
mind. [Author]
Sahih Muslim,
6/224, Kitab al-jana'iz, bab
al-bika' 'ala al-mayit.
Fath al-Bari,
3/176, Kitab al-jana'iz, bab ma
yunha min al-nawh wa'l-bika'; Sahih
Muslim, 6/237, Kitab al-jana'iz, bab
tahrim al-niyahah.
Sahih Muslim,
6/238, Kitab l-jana'iz, bab tahrim
al-niyahah.
Sahih Muslim,
6/235, Kitab al-jana'iz, bab tahrim
al-niyahah.
Imam Ahmad,
al-Musnad, 2/362; the men of its
isnad are thiqat.
Fath al-Bari,
3/144, Kitab al-jana'iz, bab ittiba'
al-nisa' al-jana'iz; Sahih Musli,
7/2, Kitab al-jana'iz, bab nahy
al-nisa' 'an ittiba' al-jana'iz.
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