The Muslim Woman and Her Friends and Sisters in Islam
She loves them as
sisters for the sake
of Allah(SWT)
The way in which the
true Muslim woman relates to her friends
and sister in Islam is different from
the way in which other women conduct
their social affairs. Her relationship
with her sisters is based on ta'akhi
(brotherhood or sisterhood) for the sake
of Allah (SWT). This love for the sake
of Allah (SWT) is the highest bond that
may exist between one human being and
another, whether man or woman. It is the
bond of faith in Allah (SWT) which Allah
(SWT) established between all believers
when He said:
( The Believers are
but a single brotherhood . . .) (Qur'an
49:10)
The brotherhood of faith
is the strongest of bonds between hearts
and minds. It comes as no surprise to
see that Muslim sisters enjoy a strong,
enduring relationship that is based on
love for the sake of Allah (SWT), which
is the noblest and purest form of love
between human beings. This is a love
which is untainted by any worldly
interest or ulterior motive. It is the
love in which Muslim men and women find
the sweetness of faith:
"There are three
things that whoever attains them will
find the sweetness of faith: if Allah (SWT)
and His Messenger are dearer to him than
anyone or anything else; if he loves a
person solely for the sake of Allah (SWT);
and if he would hate to return to kufr
after Allah (SWT) has rescued him from
it, as much as he would hate to be
thrown into the Fire."1
The status of two
who love one another
for the sake of
Allah (SWT)
Many hadith describe
the status of two people who love
another for the sake of Allah (SWT),
whether they are men or women, and
describe the high position in Paradise
which Allah (SWT) has prepared for them
and the great honour which He will
bestow upon them on the Day when mankind
is resurrected to meet the Lord of the
Worlds.
It is sufficient honour
for those who love one another for the
sake of (SWT), men and women alike, to
know that their almighty Lord will
take care of them on the Day of
Judgement and will say: "Where
are those who loved one another for My
glory? Today I will shade them in My
shade on the Day when there is no
shade but Mine."2
Such is the magnificent
honour and tremendous reward that will
be bestowed upon those who truly loved
one another for the sake of Allah (SWT),
on that awesome Day.
Love for the sake of
Allah (SWT), and not for the sake of
anything else in life, is very
difficult, and none can attain it except
the one who is pure of heart, for whom
this world and all its pleasures are as
nothing in comparison with the pleasure
of Allah (SWT). It is not surprising
that Allah (SWT) should give them a
status and blessing which is
commensurate with their position in this
world, above whose concerns they have
risen. We see proof of this in the
hadith of Mu`adh, who said that the
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Allah (SWT) said:
`Those who love one another for My
glory will have minbars of
light, and the Prophets and martyrs
will wish that they had the
same."3
Allah (SWT) bestows upon
those who love one another for His sake
a gift which is even greater than this
status and blessing: that is His
precious love which is very difficult to
attain. This is proven by the hadith of
Abu Hurayrah (RAA) in which the Prophet
(PBUH) said:
"A man went to
visit a brother of his in another
village. Allah (SWT) sent an angel to
wait for him on the road. When the man
came along, the angel asked him,
`Where are you headed?' He said, `I am
going to visit a brother of mine who
lives in this village.' The angel
asked, `Have you done him any favour
(for which you are now seeking
repayment)?' He said, `No, I just love
him for the sake of Allah (SWT).' The
angel told him, `I am a messenger to
you from Allah (SWT), sent to tell you
that He loves you as you love your
brother for His sake.'"4
What a great love, that
raises a person to a position where
Allah (SWT) loves him and is pleased
with him!
The Prophet (PBUH)
understood the impact of this strong,
pure love in building societies and
nations, so he never let any occasion
pass without advocating this love and
commanding the Muslims to announce their
love for one another, in order to open
hearts and spread love and purity among
the ranks of the ummah.
Anas (RAA) said that a
man was with the Prophet (PBUH), when
another man passed by. The first man
said, "O Messenger of Allah (SWT),
indeed I truly love this man."
The Prophet (PBUH) asked him,
"Have you let him know
that?" He said, "No."
The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Tell
him." He caught up with him and
told him, "Truly I love you for
the sake of Allah (SWT)," and the
man said, "May Allah (SWT) love
you who loves me for His sake."5
The Prophet (PBUH)
used to do the same thing himself,
teaching the Muslims how to build a
society based on pure love and
brotherhood. One day he took Mu`adh by
the hand and said, "O Mu`adh, by
Allah (SWT) I love you, so I advise
you, O Mu`adh, never forget to recite,
after every prayer, `O Allah (SWT),
help me to remember You and to give
thanks toYou and to worship You
properly (Allahumma, a`inni `ala
dhikrika wa shukrika wa husni `abadatika).'"6
Mu`adh began to spread
this pure love among the Muslims
throughout the Muslim lands, telling
them what he had learned from the
Prophet (PBUH) about the great reward
that Allah (SWT) had prepared for those
who loved one another for His sake, and
about His great love for them. In al-Muwatta',
Imam Malik gives a report with a sahih
isnad from Abu Idris al-Khulani who
said:
"I entered the
mosque of Damascus, where I saw a
young man who had a bright smile, and
I saw the people gathered around him.
When they disagreed on some matter,
they referred it to him, and accepted
his opinion. I asked who he was, and
they told me, `This is Mu`adh ibn
Jabal (RAA).' Early the next day, I
went to the mosque but I found that he
had arrived even earlier than I. He
was praying, so I waited until he had
finished, then I approached him from
in front, greeted him and said, `By
Allah (SWT), I love you.' He asked,
`For the sake of Allah (SWT)?' I said,
`For the sake of Allah (SWT).' He
repeated his question, `For the sake
of Allah (SWT)?' And I said, `For the
sake of Allah (SWT).' So he took hold
of my collar, pulled me towards him
and said, `I have good news for you. I
heard the Prophet (PBUH) say:
"Allah (SWT) says: "My love
is granted to those who love one
another for My sake, who visit one
another for My sake, and who spend on
one another for My sake.'"'"7The effect of love for
the sake of Allah(SWT)
on the life of
Muslim men and women
Islam came to build an
ideal society based on sincere love and
brotherhood, so it had to plant the
seeds of love in the hearts of the
individuals of which society is
composed. Therefore it made this love
among believing men and among believing
women one of the conditions of faith
that will grant admittance to Paradise.
This may be seen in the hadith narrated
by Imam Muslim from Abu Hurayrah (RAA)
in which the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"By the One in
Whose hand in my soul, you will not
enter Paradise until you believe, and
you will not believe until you love
one another. Shall I not tell you of
something that if you do it, you will
love one another? Spread salam
amongst yourselves."8
The Prophet (PBUH), with
his brilliant and deep insight,
understood that nothing could eliminate
hatred, jealousy and rivalry from
people's hearts but true brotherhood,
based on sincere love, friendship and
mutual advice, and free of feuds,
hatred, insincerity and envy. The way to
achieve this is through spreading salam,
so that hearts may be opened to sincere
love and friendship.
So the Prophet (PBUH)
frequently repeated this teaching to his
Sahabah, aiming to sow the seed
of love in their hearts and nurture them
until they bore fruits of that great
love that Islam wants for the Muslims,
men and women alike.
With this sincere
love, the Prophet (PBUH) built the first
generation of Muslims, who formed the
solid foundation on which the great
structure of Islam was built and lit the
way for the rest of humto follow.
With this sincere
love, the Prophet (PBUH) was able to
build a model human society, based on
the brotherhood of faith, a society that
was remarkable both in its strength,
durability and ability to make
sacrifices in the cause of jihad
to spread Islam throughout the world,
and in the solidarity of its members,
which the Prophet (PBUH) described in
the most marvellous way:
"Believers are
like a structure, parts of which support
other parts."9
"The believers,
in their mutual friendship, mercy and
affection, are like one body: if any
part of it complains, the rest of the
body will also stay awake in pain."10
From the very
beginning and throughout history, the
Muslim woman has always participated in
the building of the Islamic society that
is based on the brotherhood of faith,
and she is still doing her share of the
efforts to spread the blessed virtue of
love for the sake of Allah (SWT) in
Muslim society, turning to her sisters
and friends with an overflowing heart to
strengthen the ties of love and
sisterhood for the sake of Allah (SWT).
She does not
forsake or abandon her sister
The Muslim woman who
truly understands the teachings of Islam
does not ignore the fact that Islam,
which encourages brotherly love and
mutual affection, is also the religion
that has forbidden brothers and sisters
in faith to hate or abandon one another.
Islam has explained that two people who
truly love one another for the sake of
Allah (SWT) will not be separated by the
first minor offence that either of them
may commit, because the bond of love for
the sake of Allah (SWT) is too strong to
be broken by such minor matters. The
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"No two people
who love one another for the sake of
Allah (SWT), or for the sake of Islam,
will let the first minor offence of
either of them come between them."11
Anger may strike a
woman in moments of human weakness, and
she may hurt her sister, which could
provoke harsh feelings and conflicts. In
such cases, the Muslim woman should not
forget that Islam does not ignore human
nature and its vulnerability to changing
emotions. For this reason, Islam has
defined the length of time during which
anger may subside. This time is
considered to be three days. After this
time has passed, it is forbidden for the
two conflicting parties to refuse to
seek a reconciliation. The Prophet (PBUH)
said:
"It is not
permissible for a Muslim to be estranged
from his brother for more than three
days, both of them turning away from one
another when they meet. The better of
them is the one who is first to greet
the other."12
The word
"Muslim" obviously includes
both men and women when it occurs in
hadith like this, which set out the
regulations governing the lives of
individuals, families and societies in
the world of Islam.
Hence we can see that
the Muslim woman whose soul has been
shaped by Islam does not persist in
ignoring her sister, no matter what the
reason. Rather, she will hasten to bring
about a reconciliation and greet her
with salam, because she knows
that the better of them is the one who
is the first to greet the other. If her
sister returns her salam, both of
them will share the reward for the
reconciliation, but if she does not
return the greeting, then then one who
gave the greeting will be absolved of
the sin of forsaking her sister, while
the one who refused to return the salam
will have to bear the burden of that sin
alone. This is made clear by the hadith
in which Abu Hurayrah said:
"I heard the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: `It is
not permissible for a man to be
estranged from a believer for more than
three days. If three days have passed,
then he should go and give salam
to him; if he returns the salam,
then both of them will have share in the
reward, and if he does not respond then
the one who gave the salam will
be absolved of the sin of
estrangement."13
It goes without saying
that the word "man" in the
context of this hadith refers to both
men and women. The longer the period of
estrangement lasts, the greater the sin
of both parties becomes, as the Prophet
(PBUH) said:
"Whoever forsakes
his brother for a year, it is as if he
had shed his blood."14
How evil is the crime
of forsaking one's brother or sister,
according to Islam! How heavy is the
burden of the one who is guilty of this
crime that is likened to the shedding of
blood! The Islamic system of education
is based on mutual love and affection,
and ongoing contact. Therefore Islam
wants Muslim men and women to eliminate
hatred and envy from their lives, and
not to give any room to those evil
characteristics that contradict the
brotherhood of faith. Hence Islam is
filled with teachings that describe the
best ethics ever known since man first
walked on the face of the earth:
"Do not break off
ties with one another, do not turn away
from one another, do not hate one
another, do not envy one another. Be
brothers, as Allah (SWT) has commanded
you."15
"Beware of
suspicion, for speaking on the basis of
suspicion is the worst kind of lie. Do
not seek out one another's faults, do
not spy on one another, do not compete
with one another, do not envy one
another, do not hate one another, and do
not turn away from one another. O
servants of Allah (SWT), be
brothers."16
"Do not envy one
another, do not outbid one another (in
order to inflate prices), do not hate
one another, do not turn away from one
another, and do not enter into a
transaction when others have already
entered into it. O servants of Allah
(SWT), be brothers. A Muslim is the
brother of a Muslim. He does not oppress
him, humiliate him or look down upon
him. Taqwa is here" - and so
saying, he pointed to his chest three
times. "It is evil enough for a man
to look down upon his Muslim brother.
The whole of a Muslim's being is sacred
to another Muslim - his blood, his
wealth and his honour are
inviolable."17
The Muslim woman who
has received a sound Islamic education
thinks deeply about these teachings of
the Prophet (PBUH), which contain all
the most noble characteristics such as
love, friendship, brotherhood,
sincerity, compassion and selflessness.
She will not be able to persist in her
hatred, for nobody can do so except the
one who is mean and narrow-minded, or
has a diseased heart or twisted nature.
The true Muslim woman is far removed
from such evil characteristics.
Therefore Islam issues
a stern warning to those hard-hearted
people, men and women alike, who are
deviating from true Islam and its spirit
of tolerance by insisting on remaining
estranged. They are risking an awful
fate in the Hereafter: their actions may
prevent them from attaining the mercy
and forgiveness of Allah (SWT), and may
close the doors of Paradise to them. The
Prophet (PBUH) said:
"The doors of
Paradise are opened on Monday and
Thursday, and every servant who does not
associate anything with Allah (SWT) will
be forgiven, except for the man who
bears a grudge against his brother. It
will be said, `Wait for these two until
they reconcile, wait for these two until
they reconcile, wait for these two until
they reconcile.'"18
The great Sahabi
Abu'l-Darda' (RAA) used to say:
"Shall I not tell you about
something that is better for you than
charity and fasting? Reconcile between
your brothers, for hatred diminishes
reward."19
How important it is
for women to understand and meditate
upon this great Sahabi's
penetrating insight into the spirit of
this religion, which is based on
brotherhood and love, when they have
arguments and conflicts. Abu'l-Darda',
whose intelligence and good sense the
Prophet (PBUH) used to trust, understood
that hatred cancels out good deeds and
destroys rewards, so reconciling the
estranged Muslim with his brother is
better for him than charity and fasting,
because if he were to continue bearing a
grudge against his brother, this would
negate any reward he might receive for
those acts of worship.
She is tolerant and
forgiving towards them
The Muslim woman who
is truly guided by Islam is tolerant
towards her friends and sisters, and
does not bear grudges against them. If
she becomes angry with one of her
sisters, she restrains heanger and
freely forgives the one who has
committed an error, without seeing any
shame in doing so. In fact, she sees
this as a good deed which will bring her
closer to Allah (SWT):
( . . . [those] who
restrain anger and pardon (all) men -
for Allah loves those who do good.) (Qur'an
3:134)
If a person suppresses
his or her seething anger, and does not
forgive, that anger will turn into
resentment and malice, which are more
dangerous than anger. When a person
forgives and forgets, the flames of
anger are extinguished, and his or her
soul is cleansed of the effects of anger
and hatred. This is the level of ihsan
which earns Allah's (SWT) love for those
who attain it:
( . . .for
Allah loves those who do good.) (Qur'an
3:134)
The Muslim woman who
truly adheres to the teachings of Islam
is one of this group of muhsinin.
She does not allow anger to continue
boiling in her heart, because suppressed
resentment is a very heavy burden on the
soul; rather, she hastens to forgive and
forget, thus freeing herself from this
burden, and filling her soul with
tranquillity and peace of mind.
Something that may
help the Muslim woman to reach this
difficult level of ihsan is the
knowledge that forgiving one's sister is
not a source of humiliation or shame,
rather it will raise her in status and
honour in the sight of Allah (SWT), as
the Prophet (PBUH) described:
"Allah (SWT) will
not increase His servant when he
forgives except in honour. No-one
humbles himself for the sake of Allah
(SWT) but Allah (SWT) will raise his
status."20
If we compare this
honour and status with the status of ihsan
reached by the woman who is tolerant and
forgiving, we will realize what an
honour she has attained, for in the
sight of Allah (SWT) she is one of the muhsinat,
and in the sight of people she is a
respected, beloved example.
The Muslim woman who
has truly understood the teachings of
Islam cannot have any trace of hatred or
resentment in her heart towards anybody,
because she understands precisely the
value of forgiveness and purity of
heart, and their importance if she seeks
Allah's (SWT) forgiveness and pleasure,
as the Prophet (PBUH) explained:
"There are three
sins, whoever dies free of these sins
will be forgiven for anything else, if
Allah (SWT) wills: associating anything
with Allah (SWT); practising magic or
witchcraft; and bearing resentment
towards his brother."21
She meets them with
a smiling face
The true Muslim woman
is cheerful of countenance, always
greeting her sisters with warmth and
smiles, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"Do not think
little of any good deed, even if it is
just greeting your brother with a
cheerful countenance."22
Having a cheerful and
friendly face is a good characteristic
which Islam encourages and considers to
be a good deed which will bring reward,
because a cheerful face mirrors a pure
soul. This inward and outward purity is
one of the distinguishing features of
the sincere Muslim. Hence the Prophet
(PBUH) said:
"Your smiling at
your brother is an act of charity (sadaqah)."23
The Prophet (PBUH) was
cheerful of countenance, always greeting
his Sahabah with warmth and
smiles whenever he saw them, as the
great Sahabi Jarir ibn `Abdullah
described:
"From the time I
embraced Islam, the Messenger of Allah
(PBUH) never refused to see me and he
never saw me except with a smile on his
face."24
Islam wants the ties
of friendship and brotherhood/sisterhood
to remain strong among the Muslims, so
it encouraged them to spread salam,
to be cheerful of countenance, to speak
gently and to greet one another warmly,
so that hearts will remain pure and
open, ready to work together in kindness
to do good deeds, and capable of
carrying out the duties of Islam no
matter what effort and sacrifices may be
required.
She is sincere
towards them
One of the virtues of
the true Muslim woman is that she is
completely sincere, towards Allah (SWT),
His Prophet, and to the leaders and the
masses of the Muslims, as is stated in
the sahih hadith:
"Religion is
sincerity25." We [the Sahabah]
asked, "To whom?"
He [the Prophet
(PBUH)] said: "To Allah (SWT) (by
obeying Him, attributing to Him what He
deserves and performing jihad for
His sake); to His Book (by reading it,
understanding it and applying it to
one's daily life); to His Prophet (by
respecting him greatly and fighting on
his behalf both in his lifetime and
after his death, and by following his sunnah);
to the rulers of the Muslims (by helping
them in their task of leading Muslims to
the right path and alerting them if they
are heedless); and to their common folk
(by being merciful towards them)."26
This attitude makes
the Muslim woman sincere towards her
sisters. She does not cheat them,
mislead them, or conceal anything good
from them. When she is always sincere
towards them it is not merely for the
sake of courtesy or to show off her
social manners; she behaves in this way
because sincerity is one of the
fundamental bases of Islam which the
first believers used to pledge to
observe in their oath of allegiance (bay`ah)
to of the Prophet (PBUH), as Jarir ibn
`Abdullah stated:
"I gave
allegiance to the Prophet (PBUH) and
pledged to observe regular prayer, to
pay zakat, and to be sincere
towards every Muslim."27
In the hadith quoted
above, we see that the Prophet (PBUH)
summed up Islam in one word, nasihah,
showing that sincerity is the central
foundation of the faith. For without
sincerity, a person's faith is invalid
and his or her Islam is worthless. This
is the meaning of the hadith of the
Prophet (PBUH):
"None of you
truly believes until he likes for his
brother what he likes for himself."28
This is impossible to
achieve unless one loves one's brother
with all sincerity.
A person's liking for
his brother what he likes for himself is
no easy matter. It is very difficult to
attain, and no man or woman can attain
it except the one who has received a
sound Islamic education, whose heart has
been cleansed of all selfishness,
hatred, envy and malice, and who is
infused with love for others.
The true Muslim woman
who feels in the depths of her soul that
her love for her sister is one of the
conditions of true faith and that her
religion is based on sincerity, is more
likely to attain that difficult level;
indeed, it is something that comes
naturally to her in her dealings with
her friends and sisters, and she becomes
a truthful mirror to them, advising and
correcting them, and wishing them
nothing but good, as Abu Hurayrah used
to say:
"The believer is
the mirror of his brother. If he sees
any fault in him, he corrects it."29
In these words, Abu
Hurayrah was echoing the hadith of the
Prophet (PBUH):
"The believer is
the mirror of his brother. The believer
is the brother of a believer: he
protects him from ruin and guards his
back."30
It is natural that the
true Muslim woman should have this noble
attitude towards her sister. She could
not do otherwise, even if she wanted to:
the person who is living on such an
exalted level of purity, love, loyalty
and sisterhood cannot come down to the
level of hatred, betrayal, malice,
selfishness and jealousy. A vessel will
leak whatever is in it; musk cannot but
smell beautiful; and good soil cannot
but bring forth good produce. How
beautifully the poet Zuhayr ibn Abi
Sulma expressed this:
"Does any plant
produce large flowers but the washij
(a plant with spear-like leaves)?
Are palm-trees planted
anywhere except in the soil which is
suitable for them?"31
She is faithful and
kind towards them
Islam does not stop at
encouraging its followers to respect and
be kind to their friends; it also
encourages them to be kind to their
parents' friends too, in recognition of
the virtue of kindness and loyalty and
in order to establish these values as an
essential part of Islamic life. The
books of our heritage are filled with
reports of loyalty and kindness that the
salaf embodied in their daily
lives, so that they became a fine
example for all of mankind.
An example of this is
the hadith narrated by Imam Muslim in
his Sahih from Ibn `Umar (RAA),
in which the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"The best kind of
goodness (b) is that a man should
keep in touch with and respect his
father's friend."32
The Prophet (PBUH)
used to nurture the souls of the Muslims
and plant the seeds of faithfulness in
them whenever he found an opportunity to
tell them something of his guidance. A
man of Banu Salamah came to him and
asked: "O Messenger of Allah, is
there any deed of kindness and respect
that I can do for my parents after they
die?" He said, "Yes, pray for
them, ask forgiveness for them, fulfil
their promises after they die, keep in
contact with your relatives - for you
have no relatives except through them -
and honour their friends."33
The Prophet (PBUH) set
the highest example of faithfulness and
kindness by taking care of Khadijah's
friends after she died. He never forgot
them or neglected to treat them kindly.
The Prophet's concern for the friends of
Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her)
upset `A'ishah (May Allah be pleased
with her), who felt jealous of her. This
is clear from the words of `A'ishah:
"I never felt
jealous of any of the wives of the
Prophet (PBUH) as I did of Khadijah (May
Allah be pleased with her), although I
had never seen her. But he used to
mention her often, and sometimes he
would slaughter a sheep, butcher the
meat, and send it to Khadijah's friends.
One time I said to him, `It is as if
there were no other woman in the world
but Khadijah!' He said, `She was
such-and-such, and I had children by
her.'"34
According to another
report: "He used to slaughter a
sheep and send to her friends a goodly
amount of it."35
By this example, the
Prophet (PBUH) expanded the concept of
faithfulness and kindness to include the
distant friends of deceased parents and
wives. So what about our own friends who
are still alive!
She is kind to them
The Muslim woman who
is truly guided by Islam is never
arrogant towards her sisters and
friends; she is never sullen towards
them, and never uses harsh words with
them. She is always kind, gentle and
friendly towards them, treating them
well and speaking nicely to them. The
words of Allah (SWT) describing the
believers, men and women, as being ( .
. . lowly [or humble] with the
believers, mighty against the kafirun
. . .) (Qur'an 5:54) are
sufficient to give her the most vivid
picture of how the Muslim woman should
be with her friends and sisters. The
ideal situation is to be so gentle and
kind that it almost looks like humility.
When the Muslim woman
hears the Prophet's teachings she finds
strong evidence in support of kindness
towards others; it is described as
something that may adorn every aspect of
life, as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"There is no
kindness in a thing but it adds beauty
to it, and there is no absence of
kindness but it disfigures a
thing."36
When the Muslim woman
studies the life of the Prophet (PBUH),
she is impressed by the magnificent
nature of his character, his
overwhelming gentleness and his utmost
kindness in his dealings with people. He
was never known to scowl at anybody, or
to speak harshly, or to be severe or
harsh-hearted. Allah (SWT) indeed spoke
the truth when He said:
( . . . Were you
severe or harsh-hearted, they would have
broken away from about you . . .) (Qur'an
3:159)
Anas (RAA), his
servant and constant companion,
described his noble character thus:
"I served the
Messenger of Allah (PBUH) for ten years,
and he never said to me `Uff!
[The smallest word of contempt]. If I
did something, he never said `Why did
you do that?' and if I did not do
something, he never said `Why did you
not do that?'"37
Anas also said:
"The Prophet
(PBUH) never used obscene language, or
uttered curses and insults. If he wanted
to rebuke someone, he would say, `What
is the matter with him, may his forehead
be covered with dust!38'"39
She does not gossip
about them
The alert Muslim woman
does not allow herself to be drawn into
gossip or to attend gatherings where
gossip takes place. She restrains her
tongue and refrains from gossiping in
general, and avoids backbiting about her
friends and sisters in particular. She
regards it as her duty to prevent
gatherings from sinking to the level of
cheap gossip, because gossip is clearly haram
according to the words of the Qur'an:
( . . . Nor speak
ill of each other behind their back.
Would any of you like to eat the flesh
of his dead brother? Nay, you would
abhor it. But fear Allah, for Allah is
Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.) (Qur'an
49:12)
The Muslim woman
always refrains from indulging in any
talk that could lead to gossip. From her
understanding of Islam, she knows that
it is the tongue that may lead its owner
to Hell, as stated in the hadith in
which the Prophet (PBUH) warned Mu`adh
ibn Jabal. He took hold of his tongue
and said, "Restrain this."
Mu`adh said, "O Messenger of Allah,
will we be held responsible for what we
say?" The Prophet (PBUH) said:
"May your mother be bereft of you!
Is there anything that causes people to
be thrown into Hell on their faces (or
he said: on their noses) but the harvest
of their tongues?"40
Gossip is an evil
characteristic which does not befit the
Muslim woman who has been guided by
Islam. Such a woman refuses to be
two-faced, hypocritical or fickle,
gossiping about her friends and sisters
in their absence, then when she meets
them, she smiles warmly and makes a
display of friendship. She knows that
such fickleness is haram
according to Islam, which is based on
straightforwardness, honesty and
frankness. Such good qualities come
naturally to believing men and women,
for Islam has made them despise
inconsistency, fickleness and hypocrisy.
These characteristics are regarded as so
loathsome by Islam that the one who
possesses them is described as being
two-faced, and those who are two-faced,
men and women alike, are among the worst
of people in the sight of Allah (SWT),
as the Prophet (PBUH) said:
"You will find
among the worst people in the sight of
Allah (SWT) on the Day of Judgement, the
one who is two-faced, who approaches
some people in one way and some in
another."41
The true Muslim woman
is straightforward and consistent, never
two-faced. She is always bright and
cheerful, and treats all people in the
same, noble, manner. She never forgets
that the woman who is two-faced is a
hypocrite: Islam and hypocrisy do not go
together, and the woman who is a
hypocrite will be in the lowest level of
Hell.
She avoids arguing
with them, making hurtful jokes
and breaking
promises
Among the good manners
of the true Muslim woman are a sense of
moderation, wisdom and tact. She does
not exhaust her friends with irritating
arguments, she does not annoy them with
hurtful jokes, and she does not break a
promise that she has made to them. In
this, she follows the guidance of the
Prophet (PBUH):
"Do not argue
with your brother, do not joke
excessively with him, do not make a
promise to him then break it."42
Excessive arguing is a
repulsive habit that fills people's
hearts with hatred and disgust; making
hurtful jokes destroys the purity of a
friendship between two sisters; and
breaking promises weakens the ties of
sisterhood and friendship, and destroys
mutual respect. The alert Muslim woman
avoids behaving in such a way that makes
a person despicable.
She is generous and
honours her sisters
The Muslim woman who
understands the teachings of her
religion is generous and gives freely to
her friends and sisters. Her approach is
friendly and sincere when she invites
them, she welcomes them warmly and
offers them food generously.
Friendly gatherings
over food strengthen the ties of
sisterhood and friendship between
sisters, filling their lives with the
sense of noble human emotions that have
been lost by the Western woman raised in
a materialistic culture, who has been
filled with the spirit of opportunism,
selfishness and individualism. The
Western woman is suffering from
spiritual emptiness and emotional
dryness which result in a feeling of
being deprived of true friendship and
sincere friends. This is the situation
of Westerners in general, and Western
women in particular, and they compensate
for it by devoting themselves to caring
for their dogs, to makup for the lack of
human emotional warmth drained from them
by their materialistic philosophy. A
French report states that there are
seven million dogs in France, a country
whose population is fifty-two million.
These dogs live with their owners like
one of the family. It is no longer
strange in French restaurants to see a
dog and its owner eating together at the
same table. When an official of the
animal welfare organization in Paris was
asked, "Why do the French treat
their dogs like they treat
themselves?" he answered,
"Because they want someone to love,
but they cannot find any person to
love."43
The materialistic man,
whether in the West or in the East, can
no longer find a true, sincere friend in
his own society on whom to bestow his
love and affection. So he turns to these
animals in whom he finds more gentleness
and faithfulness than in the people
around him. Can man become any more
emotionally degenerate than this extreme
love for animals when he has lost the
blessing of faith and guidance?
This emotional
degeneration from which Westerners are
suffering and which has dried up the
human feelings in their souls, is one of
the first things that attracted the
attention of emigrant Arab writers, both
Muslim and non-Muslim. They noticed that
the materialistic lifestyle that has
overtaken Western societies has made men
into machines who know nothing in life
but work, productivity and fierce
competition, who do not know what it is
to smile warmly at a friend. They are
overwhelmed by the haste and crowds of
this machine-like existence. Seeing all
of this alarmed those Arab writers, who
had grown up in the Islamic world and
breathed its spirit of tolerance, and
whose hearts were filled with brotherly
love. So they began earnestly calling
the Westerners towards the values of
love and brotherhood. One of them was
Nasib Aridah, who raised the banner of
this humane call to the Westerner whose
heart was stained with materialism and
who had been blinded and deafened by the
roar of the machines:
"O my friend, O
my companion, O my colleague, my love
for you is not out of curiosity or a
desire to impose on you./
Answer me with the
words `O my brother!' O my friend, and
repeat it, for these are the sweetest
words./
If you wish to walk
alone, or if you grow bored of me,/
then go ahead, but you
will hear my voice, calling `O my
brother,' bearing the message,/
and the echo of my
love will reach you wherever you are, so
you will understand its beauty and its
glory."44
The burden of
materialistic life in the West became
too much for Yusuf As`ad Ghanim to bear,
and he could no longer stand this life
which was full of problems and sinking
in the ocean of materialism, and was
devoid of the fresh air of spirituality,
brotherhood and affection. So he began
to long for the Arab countries of the
Islamic world, the lands of Prophethood
and spirituality, the home of love,
brotherhood and purity. He wished that
he could live in an Arab tent, and leave
behind the civilized world with all its
noise and glaring lights:
"If I were to
live a short life in any Arab land, I
would thank Allah (SWT) for a short but
rich life in a world where He is loved
in the hearts of its people. I got so
tired of the West that tiredness itself
got bored of me. Take your cars and
planes, and give me a camel and a horse.
Take the Western world, land, sea and
sky, and give me an Arab tent which I
will pitch on one of the mountains of my
homeland Lebanon, or on the banks of
Barada or the shores of the Tigris and
Euphrates, in the suburbs of `Amman, in
the deserts of Saudi Arabia, in the
unknown regions of Yemen, on the slopes
of the Pyramids, in the oases of Libya.
. . Give me an Arab tent, and I will
weigh it against the entire world and
emerge a winner. . ."45
Many writings by
emigrant Arab writers share the same
tone, but it is sufficient to give just
a few examples here. All of their
writings express the emigrants' longing
for the emotional richness that they
missed when they came to the West, an
experience which awoke in them feelings
of longing for the East where Islam had
spread love, brotherhood, mutual
affection and solidarity.
Islam planted the
seeds of love and brotherhood in the
souls of its followers, and encouraged
them to make friends and exhange
invitations and visits. Those who invite
others to these kinds of gatherings are
described as being among the best of
people:
"The best of you
is the one who offers food freely and
returns the greeting of salam."46
The Prophet (PBUH)
gave good news to those who are
generous, men and women alike, that they
will be among those who will enter
Paradise in peace:
"Spread salam,
offer food generously, uphold the ties
of kinship, stand in prayer at night
when people are sleeping, and enter
Paradise in peace."47
The Prophet (PBUH)
further encouraged these generous people
with the promise of special chambers in
Paradise:
"In Paradise
there are rooms whose outside can be
seen from the inside, and whose inside
can be seen from the outside. Allah
(SWT) has prepared them for those who
feed others generously, who are gentle
in speech, who fast continuously, and
who stand in prayer at night when people
are sleeping."48
She prays for her
sisters in their absence
The sincere Muslim
woman whose heart is filled with the
sweetness of faith likes for her Muslim
sister what she likes for herself. So
she never forgets to pray for her in her
absence, a du`a' that is filled
with the warmth of sincere love and
sisterhood. She knows that such du`a's
are the quickest to be answered because
of their sincerity and warmth of feeling
and the noble intention behind them.
This is confirmed by the words of the
Prophet (PBUH):
"The quickest
prayer to be answered is a man's
supplication for his brother in his
absence."49
The Sahabah
understood this and used to ask their
brothers to pray for them whenever they
were in a situation where their prayers
would be answered. Men and women alike
shared this virtue, which is indicative
of the high level of the entire society
during that golden period of our
history. Bukhari reports, in al-Adab
al-Mufrad, from Safwan ibn `Abdullah
ibn `Safwan, whose wife was al-Darda'
bint Abi'l-Darda'. He said:
"I came to visit
them in Damascus, and found Umm
al-Darda' in the house, but Abu'l-Darda'
was not there. She said, `Do you want to
go for Hajj?' I said, `Yes.' She said,
`Pray for me, for the Prophet (PBUH)
used to say, "The Muslim's prayer
for his absent brother will be answered.
There is an angel at his head who,
whenever he prays for his brother, says,
`Amin, and you shall have
likewise.'"'" He (Safwan)
said, "I met Abu'l-Darda'
in the market and he
told me something similar, reporting
from the Prophet (PBUH)."50
The Prophet (PBUH)
instilled team spirit in the souls of
Muslim men and women at every
opportunity, strengthening the ties of
love for the sake of Allah (SWT) between
them, spreading an attitude of
selflessness, and uprooting the
inclination towards individualism and
selfishness, in order that the Muslim
society should be infused with feelings
of love, close ties, solidarity and
selflessness.
One of the brillliant
ways in which he instilled this team
spirit was his response to the man who
prayed out loud: "O Allah (SWT),
forgive me and Muhammad only." He
told him, "You have denied it to
many people."51
In this way, the
Prophet (PBUH) did not just correct this
man alone, but he effectively instilled
team spirit in the entire ummah
of Islam, and taught every Muslim man
and women, no matter when or where they
lived, that it is not right for anyone
who has uttered the words of the Shahadah
to keep goodness to himself, because the
believer should always like for his
brother what he likes for himself.
In conclusion, then,
this is how the Muslim woman who has
received a sound Islamic education
should be: she loves her sisters for the
sake of Allah (SWT), and her sisterly
love towards them is sincere and in
their best interests; she likes for them
what she likes for herself; she is keen
to maintain the ties of love and
sisterhood between them, and she does
not cut them or forsake them; she is
tolerant and forgiving of their mistakes
and faults; she does not bear any
hatred, envy or malice towards them; she
always greets them with a cheerful,
smiling face; she is kind and loyal
towards them; she does not gossip about
them; she does not hurt their feelings
by being hostile or arguing with them;
she is generous to them; she prays for
them in their absence.
It is no surprise that
the Muslim woman whose personality has
been cleansed and moulded by Islam
should have such noble characteristics.
This is the miracle that Islam has
wrought in the education and forming of
human character, no matter where or when
a man or woman lives.
Footnotes:
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 1/49, Kitab
al-iman, bab halawat al-iman.
Sahih Muslim,
16/123, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab fadl al-hubb fi
Allah.
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 4/24, Bab ma ja'a fi
al-hubb fi-Allah; he said, it is a
sahih hasan hadith.
Sahih Muslim,
16/124, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab fadl al-hubb
fi-Allah.
Reported with a
sahih isnad by Abu Dawud, 4/452,
Kitab al-adab, bab akhbar al-rajul
bi mahabbatihi ilayh.
Reported with a
sahih isnad by Ahmad, 5/245.
Reported by Malik
in al-Muwatta', 2/953, Kitab
al-shi'r, bab ma ja'a
fi'l-muthabbayn fi-Allah.
Sahih Muslim, 2/35,
Kitab al-iman, bab bayan annahu la
yadkhul al-jannah illa'l-mu'minin.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/47, Kitab
al-birr wa'l-silah, bab ta'awun
al-mu'minin wa tarahumuhum.
Ibid.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/493, Bab
hijrah al-Muslim.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/100, Kitab
al-birr wa'l-silah, bab al-nahy 'an
hijran al-ikhwan.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/505, Bab
inna al-salam yujzi' min al-sawm.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/497, Bab man
hajara akhahu sanah.
Sahih Muslim,
16/120, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab tahrim al-zann
wa'l-tajassus wa'l-tanafus.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/109, Kitab
al-birr wa'l-silah, bab ma la yajuz
min al-zann.
Sahih Muslim,
16/120, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab tahrim zulm al-Muslim
wa khadhaluhu wa ihtiqarahu.
Sahih Muslim,
16/122, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab al-nahy 'an
al-shahna'.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/505, Bab
al-shahna'.
Sahih Muslim,
16/141, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab istihbab al-'afuw
wa'l-tawadu'.
Repoted by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/505, Bab
al-shahna'.
Sahih Muslim,
16/177, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab istihbab talaqah
al-wajh 'ind al-liqa'.
Reported by
Tirmidhi, 3/228, Abwab al-birr, 36.
He said it is hasan gharib.
Fath al-Bari,
10/504, Kitab al-adab, bab
al-tabassum wa'l-dahk; Sahih Muslim,
16/35, Kitab fada'il al-sahabah, bab
fada'il Jarir ibn 'Abdullah.
Nasihah is an
Arabic word that may be translated
by a number of words in English. The
most common translation is
"good advice," but it also
carries connotations of sincerity,
integrity, and "doing justice
to a person or situation."
[Translator]
Sahih Muslim, 2/37,
Kitab al-iman, bab bayan an al-din
nasihah. The explanations in
brackets are adapted from those
given in the English translation of
Sahih Bukhari by Dr. Muhammad Muhsin
Khan (Vol. 1, p. 48). [Translator]
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 1/63, Kitab
al-iman, bab al-bay'ah 'ala'l-Islam.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Sharh al-Sunnah, 13/60, Kitab
al-birr wa'l-silah, bab yuhibbu li
akhihi ma yuhibbu li nafsihi.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/333, Bab
al-Muslim mir'ah akhihi.
Ibid.
Sharh Diwan Zuhayr,
115, published by Dar al-Kutub
al-Misriyyah.
Sahih Muslim,
16/110, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab fadl silah asdiqa'
al-abb wa'l-umm.
Reported by Ibn
Hibban in his Sahih, 2/162, Kitab
al-birr wa'l-ihsan, bab haqq
al-walidayn.
Fath al-Bari,
7/133, Kitab manaqib al-Ansar, bab
tazwij al-Nabi (SAAS) Khadijah wa
fadliha; Sahih Muslim, 15/201, Kitab
al-fada'il, bab fada'il Khadijah.
Fath al-Bari,
7/133, Kitab manaqib al-Ansar, bab
tazwij al-Nabi (SAAS) Khadijah wa
fadliha.
Sahih Muslim,
16/146, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab fadl al-rifq.
Bukhari and Muslim.
See Riyad al-Salihin, 336, Bab husn
al-khalq.
It has been
suggested that what was meant by
this expression was that the Prophet
(PBUH) was praying that the person
would increase his sujud, i.e. pray
more, as this would guide and reform
him. [Author]
Fath al-Bari,
10/452, Kitab al-adab, bab lam yakun
al-Nabi (PBUH) fashishan wa la
mutafahhishan.
A sahih hasan
hadith narrated by Ibn Majah,
2/1315, Kitab al-fitan.
Fath al-Bari,
10/474, Kitab al-adab, bab ma qila
fi dhi'l-wajhayn; Sahih Muslim,
16/157, Kitab al-birr wa'l-silah
wa'l-adab, bab dhamm dhi'l-wajhayn.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 1/485, bab la
ta'id akhaka shay'an fa tukhlifahu.
Prof. Wahid al-Din
Khan, Wujub tatbiq al-shari'ah
alislamiyyah fi kulli zaman wa makan
("The necessity of applying
Islamic shari'ah in every time and
place"), in al-Mujtama', No.
325, Kuwait, 24 Dhu'l-Qi'dah 1396/16
November 1976.
Diwan al-arwah
al-ha'irah, qism al-naz'ah
al-insaniyyah.
See 'Isa al-Na'uri,
Adab al-Mahjar, Dar al-Ma'arif bi
Misr, p. 527
A hasan hadith
narrated by Ahmad, 6/16.
A sahih hadith
narrated by Ahmad, 2/295, and
al-Hakim 4/129, Kitab al-at'amah.
A hasan hadith
narrated by Ahmad, 5/343 and Ibn
Hibban, 2/262, Kitab al-birr
wa'l-ihsan, bab ifsha' al-salam wa
it'am al-ta'am.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 2/83, Bab
du'a' al-akh bi zahr al-ghayb.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 2/84, Bab
al-du'a' bi zahr al-ghayb.
Reported by Bukhari
in al-Adab al-Mufrad, 2/85, Bab
al-du'a' bi zahr al-ghayb.
The
materials provided here are ONLY
extracts of Arabic-English
Dictionary Of Sheikh Adelabu
(Ph. D. Damas). Fully
edited versions and better
formats are available upon
written requests from awqafafrica.com
and Awqaf Africa Muslim Open
College, London.
Alphabetical
Entries Indexed For
Arabic-English Dictionary Of
Sheikh Adelabu (Ph. D. Damas) ::
ألفبيات
مادّات
مفهرسة
للقاموس
العربي
الإنجليزي
للشيخ
أديلابو
-
دكتوراه
من
دمسق
Studying
Grammars And Linguistics Of The
Kitaab And Sunnah Under Sheikh
Adelabu, Ph. D. Damas
Users
or reproducers of this
Arabic-English Dictionary Of
Sheikh Adelabu (Ph. D. Damas)
for the purposes of Da'wah and
Islamic Studies do not need a
permission. However, awqafafrica.com
suggests users or reproducers
quote this site and/or the sole
author of this dictionary -
Sheikh Adelabu (Ph. D. Damas).
This dictionary is not for
commercial gains or profit
making. It's intended by
our Sheikh to be an act of 'Iba^dah.
May Allah accept it from our
Sheikh
The Encyclopedic Dictionary Of As-Sunnah
- Hadith By Sheikh Adelabu
(Ph. D. Damas) is only available
on this portal to proven Du'aat
and known or recommended students
of Knowledge. Learned
individuals can acquired all
volumes and full packages of the
Encyclopedia.
Arabic
English Dictionary Of Sheikh
Adelabu (Ph. D. Damas) ::
قاموس
عربي -
إنجليزي
للشيخ
أديلابو
-
دكتوراه
من
دمشق -